Meredith
The days I spent in the hospital following the accident was torturous. I lost my baby. I didn't know how to deal with that except stay silent and cry myself to sleep. I've never felt so much pain before. The death of my parents doesn't even compare to the pain I'm feeling right now. To have a human being growing inside of you for five months, only to be taken away from you is something I can't even put into words.
Emily came to visit me every day. She didn't care that I barely spoke a word to her, she still came in and sat in silence with me. She cuddled me when I cried and cried with me sometimes. She was so excited for this baby, for her little niece. I hate that I've done this to her. I've done this to myself. I should have paid more attention to the road instead of stressing so much about Eliot. I blame him just as much as I blame myself.
Chase also visited me a few times. The first time he came to see me, I burst into tears as soon as I saw him. He was quick to sit beside me and hold me tightly in his arms as I sobbed against his chest, soaking his shirt. I'm pretty sure he shed a tear or two that day but he will never admit it.
It's now the seventh day I've spent at the hospital and it's finally time for me to go home. It's strange because since spending every minute in that boring sterilised room, all I've wanted to do is go home but now that this day has arrived, I'm scared. I don't want to leave the secure comfort of this room. I don't want to face reality. I don't want to go back to being a non-pregnant young adult with no goals in life.
"Hey Mer, you ready to go?"
I glance up from the white tiled floor into the soft eyes of Emily. She's standing at the end of my bed, a bag in one hand and a hoodie in the other. I'm already dressed out of that dreadful paper hospital gown into comfortable tracksuit bottoms and a loose fitted top.
Emily holds the hoodie out to me, a small smile appearing on her lips as I reach out for it.
"Thanks." I whisper, unable to return the gesture.
I slip on the hoodie and then Emily passes me my crutches so that I can stand.
"You sure you don't want a wheelchair?"
"No, I'm fine."
It might take me a little longer to get out of this place but I'm not being wheeled around it that annoying thing. It's embarrassing.
"OK, let's go then."
I follow Em out of the hospital slowly. She had discharged me while I was getting changed so I was free to leave in my own time. Luckily, her car is parked at the entrance so I don't have to hobble too far in this bulky cast. Em helps me into the passenger seat and then we're driving home.
I've thought a lot about what to do now. I've made a decision on what happens now that I've left the hospital and no longer have my little girl growing inside me. I just haven't told anyone of my decision yet.
The car ride is silent as Em drives home. It's only about ten minutes from the hospital. I stare out the window, trees flying past in a blur as the sun shines brightly above them. It's a nice day. Cold but bright. It is almost Christmas after all. I was half expecting to see snow as I came out of the hospital.
"We're here." Em says softly as she pulls up to the iron gates.
I briefly flashback to the moment I ran out of them before being hit by a car. I won't be doing that again. The gates open and Em slowly drives through until she stops outside the house. I sit for a moment gazing up at the house. I'm nervous. I haven't seen Chase for a couple of days or Eliot's parents.
I haven't seen Eliot at all.
I watch the front door open and Chase steps out of the house. It almost brings a smile to my face, seeing his large form in the doorway, so familiar and comforting. He jogs down the porch steps and stops at my door. It opens as Emily also opens her door and steps out of the car.
"Hey little lady." Chase holds a hand out for me and I take it, smiling slightly as he kisses my cheek in greeting.
"Hi Chase." I murmur quietly.
Emily comes over to us with my crutches in her hands and I thank her as I slip into them.
"Want me to carry you up the steps?" Chase grins as Em hits him playfully.
"She can handle some steps, Chase."
She's right. I don't want them constantly fretting over me and trying to help with things that I can do myself. I'm about to say something in reply when a high pitched emotional voice calls out to me.
"Oh, Meredith sweetheart! How are you gorgeous girl?" Claire flies out of the house and has me wrapped in a motherly embrace before I can utter a word.
Anthony follows at a much slower pace, rolling his eyes at his mate. I smile over her shoulder as he catches my eye.
"Claire, remember when we spoke about being calm and giving Meredith some space? You said you wouldn't get emotional."
It makes me internally laugh. Typical Claire. But it's sweet. She's been so kind to me. From the moment I met her, she's treated me like her daughter. I couldn't be more thankful to her. I've really loved getting to know her and being able to speak to her about mother/daughter type things.
"Oh shush Tony! The poor girl needs a good motherly cuddle. I can get emotional if I want to." I hear Em and Chase laugh from beside me.
"Well can you release her so that I can give her a hug?"
She reluctantly does and I'm soon wrapped in a much stronger embrace. He doesn't hold me for as long as Claire but instead takes a step back and places a hand under my chin to look at him.
"How are you doing?" He asks me.
I lift my shoulder in a slight shrug.
"I'm not sure." I croak as my throat tightens and my eyes fill with tears. He nods understandingly and pats my shoulder.
"Hang in there darling."
He steps away from me and I lose my breath at the sight of Eliot standing at the top of the steps. If I'm honest, he looks a mess. The dark bags under his eyes tell me he hasn't slept for a while and from the look of his clothes, he probably hasn't showered either.
"Meri." His hoarse voice breaths as his eyes connect with mine.
I thought that the first time I'd see him again, I'd feel hate and disgust. But as I stare frozen at him, all I feel is pain. I can't breathe. It hurts to see him. Not because he's clearly been suffering since the accident but because he did this. He caused all of this. It hurts because when I used to look at him, I saw my future. I saw us madly in love with a baby and our own house. I saw us living a happy life together. But now all I see is his anguished face as he told me that he didn't want our baby. I see the car that hit me and took away my baby. I just see pain.
"You're home. I-I-"
"No, I'm not." I whisper, cutting him off from whatever he was about to say.
"What?"
"I'm not home. This isn't my home anymore. You took that away from me." I spit harshly at him.
"Meri, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen."
"You're sorry?" I seethe. "That doesn't mean a damn thing to me, Eliot! I lost my baby! Do you know how that feels?! I lost my little girl." I sob as the tears spill down my flushed cheeks.
He doesn't say anything. He has the decency to look ashamed of himself. I guess that's something.
"You didn't even visit me in the hospital. Where were you? Where were you when I really needed you?"
It's true. He didn't visit me at all. Not even once in the whole week that I was in the hospital. It shows how much he's really sorry. He couldn't even come to see me after knowing I lost my baby. Our baby. It makes me hate him a little more.
"Meredith, you know you're more than welcome to stay here sweetheart." Claire says when Eliot fails to respond.
"I'm sorry Claire but I can't. I really appreciate everything you've done for me but I want to go home."
Emily moves towards me and blocks my view of Eliot as she hugs me tight.
"Please don't leave. I don't want you to go. We love you. Please stay." Hearing Emily cry only makes me cry harder.
"I can't Em. I'm sorry. It's too much to handle. I can't do it."
"Chase, do something!" Em cried as she looks to her mate. He shakes his head, sadness clear in his eyes.
"It's her decision Em. We have to respect that." Emily sobs, her eyes moving over to Eliot as she glares at him. I look to him also.
"The house. My house. I want it back." I tell him firmly.
He looks surprised. Where did he think I was going to go? It's my house, he never should have had it in the first place. Jack had no right to sell it to him. As he goes to protest, Anthony steps in.
"Eliot. Give her the house back, it's fine." I thank him in my head for standing up for me.
Eliot reluctantly nods at his father. It lifts a weight from my shoulders. I won't have to live with him as a constant reminder of what happened a week ago. I can go back to the comfort of my parents home and start building my life back up alone. No Eliot or Jack.
"Will you drive me home Chase?" I know it'll be too difficult for Emily.
"Yeah of course."
"You can't leave Meredith, I love you!" Eliot suddenly declares from the top of the steps. Panic is evident in his tone.
Chase opens the car door for me. I turn towards the car, intent on ignoring him but at the last second, turn my head to face him.
"Isn't this what you wanted? I'm not pregnant with Jack's baby anymore. Congratulations. I hope you're happy."
With that, I get into the car and watch through the rear view mirror as their faces fade away until I can no longer see them. I'm going home.
And I'm not coming back.