15; And you are?
Loyce
I walked into my apartment and closed the door behind me, not really caring if I had closed it too hard, before I made my way to my bedroom. It was very quiet here so I guessed that Juliana and Melyssa had not come home right away after college and that was good because I really wanted to be alone right now.
Entering my room, I tossed my bag and my jacket to the ground and let myself fall on the bed, taking the pillow and putting it over my face. I sighed loudly because I let myself be so upset about this situation but on the other hand I knew I couldn't really do much about it.
I simply had no idea how to deal with my feelings, especially now that I had to keep them to myself. It had been so long since I felt this way, with all the butterflies in my stomach and smiling at my phone because of a text message. It was kind of foreign even though I had been through that already but when I fell for Brandon a few years back it was different because he was mine and I could show him my feelings and be happy and this time I couldn't and that stressed me out.
I was aware of the fact that I could make this all so easy for myself by just talking to Justin about it and tell him how I felt about him but I honestly wasn't ready and I had no idea how I would take being rejected by him because I wanted him very, very bad.
Of course it could totally go the other way. I tell Justin I like him, he tells me he likes me back, we get into a relationship and live happy ever after but I didn't want to grasp onto that and get my hopes up. I was just so anxious and I had no idea what to do.
Why did this have to be so complicated? Why did love have to be so complicated?
Sometimes I wish we had like a chip in our bodies that would vibrate when we found the one, then I would never have to worry about a guy ever. It would simply be like, okay, you are my boy, your dïck is the one I'll be sucking forever, we'll have kids and be happy forever. Simple.
But apparently in life nothing was that simple.
I was so frustrated and upset and what upset me the most was that girl I had seen him with. I knew they weren't together because if they were Justin wouldn't be messing with me anymore but to think that there was nothing between them was wrong as well because you just tell that they had something by seeing the two of them together. Besides I hated to share and now it was obvious that I had to and that was so annoying.
I knew it was none of my business but I did want to know what exactly was going on between them and if it could turn out to something serious but I was probably never going to find out about it. I could definitely not ask Justin because he would think that I was jealous, which I was a little but he didn't have to know about that.
I was most likely going to ask Melyssa to ask Amir if he knew anything about it but until then all I could do now was just guess and overthink and guess and overthink and it was driving me insane but my mind didn't want to stop doing that and I hated it.
I had no idea how long I had been laying in my bed, thinking, but it must have been for quite a while because I heard how the front door opened and my friends entered the apartment. I hoped that they wouldn't notice me being here because I really wanted to be in peace but I spoke too soon because they ended up finding out I was here.
" – Loyce always keeps it in her room, I'll just take it - Woah Loyce? What are you doing here?" I heard Juliana ask me, the voice sounding surprised from seeing me home so soon.
"Get out of my room," I replied to her, my voice coming out muffled because I spoke through the pillow that was still on my face.
"Aren't you supposed to be with Justin?" Juliana asked next, her voice sounding very close to me and before I knew it she had removed the pillow from my face so that she could see my face.
I took the pillow from her hands and put it on my face again because I didn't want her to see me like that, after I said "Not anymore."
It was quiet for a few seconds and I thought that she had left the room but then she spoke up again and I knew that she was still here "are you alright?"
No, is what I wanted to say but I didn't want her to be worried about me right now. Besides she had someone here and I didn't her to leave Melyssa because I had a problem right now. We could just talk about it later. "I will be," was my answer instead. "Could you please just leave me alone for a moment?" I didn't want to be rude and just get rid of her, it was just that I needed some time on my own. I was going to let her know what was up anyways.
"Of course," Juliana replied without hesitation. "If you need anything, I'm in the living room," she let me know and then she pushed the pillow away from my face a little and placed a kiss on top of my head before she turned around and left my bedroom.
I stayed in my bed in silence for another 30 minutes or so and then I decided to get up, take a shower and join the girls in the living-room. Staying in bed all day wasn't going to change the situation I was in and having a little company wasn't that bad after all, right?
***
The next day, after classes were over, I stood in front of the class room and waited for Juliana to come pick me up so we could go to Amir's place to hang out altogether. Juliana was of course running late like always and that made me wonder why the hell I was always the one that always had to wait to be picked up because I always had to wait for the longest time.
I was always patient and never complained because even if I did, nothing was going to change but today I was in a very bad mood and my patience was running thin so I hoped that Juliana was gonna be here soon so we could finally leave.
To kill time I was playing some dumb games that I had never deleted from my phone until I noticed a person next to me and I thought that it was Juliana first but when I looked up from my phone it wasn't her. I was looking into the blue eyes of a blonde girl for a moment until I noticed that it was THAT girl from yesterday.
She was just staring at me and said no word and I didn't say anything either but the more I looked at ther, the more I was getting pissed off because she was the reason why I was in this mood and if she didn't disappear in 2 seconds, we were most likely going to have a problem.
"Can I help you," I asked her in a pissed off tone after no words were coming out of her still.
"Yes, you can help me by staying away from Justin," she replied back, sounding hella bitchy with her ugly voice that already annoyed me.
I raised my eyebrow and looked her up and down before I then said "Excuse me?" I heard her completely right but I couldn't believe that she would just come at me sideways like that and demand this from me. Had she lost her mind?
"You heard me right. Stay away from Justin," she repeated, looking at me in disgust before she flipped her hair back and man, if I wasn't pissed off before, I definitely was now.
"Who the fuck do you think you are and who are you talking to like that?" I asked her, in disbelief. I wasn't going to let a bitch, who didn't even know me, talk to me like this and I was most definitely not let her give me any bullshit orders, like the fück I looked like? Things like these really got me mad.
"I believe I am talking to you," she responded cockily and pointed at me. "And I am Ev-"
"I don't fücking care who you are," I interrupted her by putting my hand in front of her face and speaking up before she could even finish saying her name. I knew I asked her but I just asked to ask not because I was interested. Blondie remained quiet and just blinked at me because I had cut her short and since she wasn't saying anything, I went on. "For you information, I am not staying away from Justin," I said to her, saying every word clear and slowly so she would comprehend that. "Why the fück would I do that?"
"Because I am his future girlfriend and I don't want other girls around him," she said to me confidently and I couldn't help but laugh at that.
Future WHAT? Not only was this girl dumb, she was also out of the fücking mind if she really thought that she was Justin's future girlfriend. Has this girl seen me? I would rather land a chance with Justin instead of her. She was definitely dreaming.
"Future girlfriend? Baby girl I don't want to burst your bubble but I think you got it twisted. If you and him had anything I would know, I'm his best friend."
"Well I guess there's something he isn't telling you then," she countered and I hated how this could be the truth because if there was something I couldn't even know because he never mentioned her to me, ever, "and if you were his best friend you wouldn't be looking at him with heart eyes all the damn time so don't bullshit me," she added and what she said actually got me silent for a moment.
Was I really being this obvious? If a girl, who didn't even know me and wasn't around us all the time, noticed something like this that meant that sooner or later my friends were going to notice too, if they haven't already.
Shït, I needed to be careful and I had to change the way I acted around Justin. I didn't want them to know. Not now anyways.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," I told her, after a moment of silence. I had to say something or else she was gonna know that she was right, "and please just leave me alone I got things to do," I went on and started walking away from her because I had no idea what else I should be talking to her about when she almost got it through that I liked Justin.
"I will but only if you tell me you're going to leave my man alone," she said to me and while she talked, she grabbed me by my arm and pulled me right back where I stood, leaving me shocked.
Did this bitch really just? .. No she didn't.
"Bitch, you do not touch me do you understand?" I yelled at her and pushed her hand away from my arm aggressively before I pushed her away from me. If there was something I hated so much, it was when somebody I didn't like put hand on me.
This bitch came out of nowhere, bothered me for dumb reasons and now she was touching me too? She just really got a big äss problem with me.
"What are you gonna do about it?" she then asked me and stepped closer to me so that we were face to face.
"Do you really want to know?" I asked her in return. She seriously had no idea who she was messing with and it could really get ugly in a second if she just didn't shut the hell up.
I never got into fights ever, I made sure of that but if somebody decided to come to me the way she did and piss me off then I didn't really care if we were going to fight or not. Right now Blondie was provoking a fight and since I was also in a bad mood I was really so close, so freaking close to just fight her.
"You wouldn't do shït to me, we are at a public place and you know you would get in trouble if you put a hand on me," Blondie let me know and I knew that I could get in trouble but I was still going to do what I had to do. She was so wrong for thinking she was protected because there were so many people around.
She clearly had no idea who she was messing with. "Bitch try me." I couldn't care less if we were at a public place. If she really thought that I wasn't going to do anything to her she was so wrong. She was so lucky that I was being so patient with her because normally I would've lost my shït the moment she touched me.
Blondie just stood there and didn't say anything, looking a little conflicted and not exactly knowing what to say. I guess that now she got the memo that I wasn't playing around and now I hoped that she would just leave me alone. She took a step back, widening the gap between us and then she breathed in deeply, flipped her hair back and spoke up again. "Just stay the fück away from Justin."
I rolled my eyes so hard and let out a breath as I pinched the brigde of my nose, not believing that she was still on about this. "Say that one more time and I'm going to slap the shït out of you and this time I am not playing," I warned her, being totally serious this time. I was so tired of her and listened to this bullshit sentence over again and if she wanted to be that annoying and not leave me alone still, she could always catch these hands.
"Stay. Away. From-" she began to say and I was preparing myself to slap her like I said I would but I couldn't even get to that because my best friend finally decided to show up and to get between me and Blondie.
"Loyce don't. We're leaving," she said and didn't even give me time to react before she grabbed me by the arm and pulled me towards the exit of the building.
Looking over my shoulder, I yelled after Blondie, telling her that she was lucky this time and to never tell me to stay away from Justin ever again.
"Who was that and what is going on?" Juliana asked me when we stood outside and slowly removed ourselves from campus.
"That was the girl I told you about yesterday and she was telling me to stay away from Justin and I told her that I wasn't and then she just got bitchy and it pissed me off."
"I always tell you not to get into fights."
"I never get into fights but she pushed my buttons and was just two seconds away from getting slapped I'm not even joking."
"Anyways let's go we are going to be late if we don't leave," Juliana said and began walking towards the direction of the subway so we could get to Amir's house.
"I don't feel like going anymore," I told her and crossed my arms in front of my body, not wanting to move from the place where I stood.
"Come on, we're going," Juliana said, turning around so that she was now walking backwards and with her hand she motioned for me to come over to her.
I shook my head no. "I don't wanna see him," I responded and even though I mentioned no name she knew who I was talking about.
"He didn't do shït to you," she argued back and she was right. Justin didn't do anything to me but I didn't want to be in the same room as him because only God knew what I would say to him because of Blondie and I wasn't in the mood for other arguments so I wanted to prevent it.
"I know," I agreed with her and walked towards her. "I'm still annoyed and when I see him I'll be reminded of that hoe and that she was all over him."
"You'll get over it babe," my best friend said and put her arm around my shoulder as we walked. "Let's just have fun with our friends instead of thinking of dumb bitches who don't have shit on us anyway."
Juliana was so right. At the end of the day I was so much better than that other girl and even though I was annoyed, I was gonna get over it and it would be all good, so no worries.
"True. Okay let's go before I change my mind."
"Even if you did, I'd made you go."
"I hate you sometimes," I rolled my eyes and pushed her away from me.
"Of course you do," she replied and blew me a kiss.
***
A/N:
ANOTHER ONE.
3 DAYS IN A ROW.
CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS? I ACTUALLY UPDATED 3 DAYS IN A FREAKING ROW.
I'm actually so proud of myself right now, I hope you guys are too.
I wrote this in 2 hours, I cannot believe that I did THAT.
I seriously hope you guys are happy with these 3 updates this weekend. I'm gonna be MIA and not updating for a few weeks again because I have exams and ya girl gotta study and get them good grades but as soon as I am done with my exams, I'll make sure the updates come again.
Sooooo enjoy my loves and don't forget to vote/comment/share, u know, the usual.
Anyways, I LOVE U ALL SO MUCH. I REALLY DO. YALL ARE THE BEST.
Until the next time!
❤️