Marina's POV:
A soft buzz had awoken me. Alex was still asleep like a little baby, leaning on his side. Luckily we weren't too tangled, so I could easily get up from the bed. I grabbed my phone, and saw that it was my older sister, Christina. She knew not to call me at night unless it was an emergency.
"Hello?" I whispered.
"Marina, where are you?" she asked.
"I'm in Baltimore, with Alex. He's asleep, why?" I stepped into the hallway.
"Is there any way you could make it home tonight?" She sounded frantic.
"Why, what's going on?" I started to get nervous.
"It's Pepere, he's in the hospital. They're saying he's only gonna make it another 8 hours, tops." she cried.
I couldn't understand, and I didn't. But I showed some integrity. "Yeah, I'll hop on the next flight."
"Alright. I love you, be safe." she said.
"I love you too." I replied. "Bye."
"Bye." she hung up.
It didn't feel like there was time to think. Was this really happening, or was I in a nightmare? I couldn't debate. I silently walked back into the room, grabbing my small travel bag, packing two pairs of jeans and four shirts, and my toothbrush. Anything else I decided I could buy. I stumbled into a pair of jeans. I checked my phone, and the next flight took off in two hours. My eyes were then drawn to a sleeping Alex. He had no idea...
I sat beside him, lightly shaking him. "Alex." I whispered. "Alex, wake up."
"Mmm." He opened his eyes, looking at me. "Is something wrong?"
"I need you to drive me to the airport." I said, my throat becoming dry.
He sat up, turning on the lamp. "What's the matter?"
Tears finally started coming. Reality hit me: I was going to lose one of my greatest mentors in life. I grabbed onto Alex, letting the tears fall out. He shhed me and rubbed my back. I tried to dismiss the tears as quickly as possible. "It's my grandfather. He's in the hospital. My sister told me to come right away." I explained.
"Do you want me to go with you?" he said.
"Oh, I could never ask." I looked down.
He raised my chin, looking me in the eyes. "I'm offerring."
"If it wouldn't be too much of a hassle." I rubbed my arm.
"Of course not." he stood up, throwing on some real clothes, and tossing some into a bag. He grabbed my hand and led me outside. I quickly picked up my bag on the way out. We went out onto the pourch, where he locked the house door and went into the car.
"You sure we shouldn't just get your parents to drive us so we don't have to park overnight at the airport?" I explained.
"Oh, I don't want to start a scene. It's fine, really." he pulled out into the road. "So what are we gonna do once we get there?"
"Take a cab to the hospital. We can put our stuff in my sister's car. My brother should be there, too. And then we'll wait." I shook, nerves just killing me. "We'll stay at my dad's house."
The rest of the drive was silent. He squeezed my hand, which was the only thing keeping me from freaking out. I was just so grateful that he was here right now. A part of me was absolutely pissed because if my grandfather passed away today or tomorrow, the funeral wouldn't be for a few more days, and we had to leave for San Diego Saturday. And right now, at two fifteen, we were creeping into the wee morning hours of Wednesday.
This wasn't fair. Tours weren't negotiable. I prayed it wouldn't happen but I knew it would. A part of me was falling apart on the inside, so much so that I wanted to scream. And then I thought about what would happen to their pretty little lake house. Did Pepere have insurance? Could Memere handle the place all on her own, or was it just not worth it?
We pulled into the airport parking lot, which was quiet. I could understand why people wouldn't travel in the middle of the night. It was a gift to have a little privacy. Sure, I didn't want to be alone, but I didn't want to recieve the dirty looks. And to have fans pestering us during this time was also not ideal.
Alex and I each bought a one-way ticket to Manchester Regional airport. They surprisingly weren't that expensive. We went through the security and sat in the empty waiting area. Starbucks was still open, and there were two young ladies drinking coffee. One was a short, sporty brunette, and the other was a tall girl with blue hair and Osirises. I looked at my own feet, which had Vans.They were grey.
"Do you want a coffee or something?" Alex asked.
"I don't really want one, but I should probably get one. It would suck if I fell asleep while we were in the hospital." I mumbled.
"You can fall asleep now, if you want. I'll wake you up when it's time to go." he gave me a friendly smile.
"Oh, I can't fall asleep now." I let out a laugh. For some reason, it felt like a release. Yeah, laughter was nice.
He stood, pushing on my leg with his hand. I watched intently as he ordered himself what was probably a dark roast with cream, and then ordered me a vanilla latte with soy. The boy knew me. I took out my phone, and decided to send Kianna and Colby the same text. "Going home. Emergency. Call me when you wake up." About thirty seconds after I sent it, my phone rang, and it was Kianna.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Marina, what the fuck is going on?" she asked.
"Kianna? You're still awake?" I asked.
"Yeah, Jack and I just got home from a night out." she asked. "What's up? Why are you going back to San Diego?"
"No, I'm going back to New Hampshire. My grandfather isn't doing too well." I said, starting to get teary again. Alex sat beside me again, tossing an arm around me.
The line was silent. "You're kidding."
"I'm not."
She took a deep breath. "No. You're lying."
"I don't lie."
I could feel her staying completely still. "What's wrong?" Jack asked quietly in the backround. "Oh god..."
3, 2, 1. Crying erupted from Kianna, then muffled, to what I guess was Jack hugging her. I heard screams, almost deathly. I couldn't handle it.
"I'll call you back." I said, then hung up abruptly, making my way back into Alex's embrace. A phone rang again, but not from my pocket, from his.
"Alex, is Marina with you? Kianna just started bawling. What's going on?" Jack asked.
Alex stood, clearly not wanting to have this conversation right in front of me. My phone started ringing. It said "Colby" as the ID.
"Hello?" I sniffed.
"Rina, hey, I was gonna call you back in the morning, but I got nervous. What's going on?" Colby quietly said.
I was calmer now that I'd already explained this twice. "I'm at the airport with Alex. We're going to New Hampsire. It's Pepere's time."
"Oh god...Oh god, oh god. Oh, Marina, I am so sorry." she started to panic.
"You're taking this much better than Kianna." I wiped my nose. "I think as time keeps ticking, I'm just becoming more accepting. But I'm flipping out inside because I don't know if I should tell Emily. I mean, you see how close she is to him, but I don't want to ruin her honeymoon."
"If it was me, I'd want you to call. I'm glad you texted me. I can be up there within a few hours, you know." she answered.
"I'll be fine; I have Alex. I'm not sure Pepere could even handle seeing a lot of people right now. It's better to just keep it family." I explained.
"I can't believe this is happening. But his time was coming, you know? Every time you say goodbye, you realize it could be the last."
"See, I'm okay with that, and I've become very accustomed to the the thought, but it's the death part that scares me." I started shaking.
"I know, you don't understand it. And that's okay. But you just have to keep looking on the bright side. Life happens and that's okay." Colby stressed.
"Are you gonna tell Rian tomorrow morning?" I asked.
"Yeah he's out on my couch right now. I'm in my room." she said. "Just promise me you'll tell me when it happens, okay?"
"Just give me a half hour to cool off after it happens and I'll text you."
"Alright. I love you, Marina."
"I love you too, Colbs."
"Bye."
"Bye." I hung up.
Alex came and sat beside me again. "That wasn't very fun."
"Tell me about it. Now I have to call Emily. She's gonna flip." I reluctantly dialled her number.
"Hello?" she answered, sounding bright.
"Emily, I know you said not to call, but it's an emergency." I began.
"Uh oh. What happened? You're not pregnant, are you?" she asked.
"What? No!" I answered. "I hate to ruin your mood, but there's no easy way to say this. Pepere's time has come. I can't talk much right now; I'm at the airport to say goodbye. I'm so sorry I had to tell you this while you're on your honeymoon."
"I'm glad you told me. I wouldn't want to be the only one that doesn't know." she answered quietly.
"I'll text you when it happens, okay?" I said.
"Yeah. I love you."
"I love you too."
"Bye."
"Bye." I hung up again. "This is so surreal."
________________________________________________________________
I found my sister's car and threw our stuff in the back seat. Alex and I silently walked into the emergency unit. In the waiting room was what seemed like my entire family. My Aunt Pauline and her husband Dan, their kids, Dan Jr. who was 17, and Cali, who was 11. My Aunt Steph and Uncle Stan, and one of their two sons, Aaron, and his pregnant wife, Shelia. My brother Don and his wife Ella, and my sister Christina, and her husband Justin. And lastly, there was my dad, who was sitting, crying, the first time I'd ever seen him cry.
"I'm so glad you made it." Christina gave me a large hug. I talk to her all the time, but I hadn't seen her in months. If felt amazing to be hugging her.
"I wouldn't miss it." I quietly answered.
"Marina, we've missed you." Don gave me a hug.
"I've missed you too." I whispered.
"Marina, you look so much older." Ella wrapped me.
"I know." I said.
"Hi, I'm Alex." Alex introduced himself, shaking my brother's hand.
"Nice to finally meet you." he shook firmly.
"I'm sorry we had to meet this way." Alex added.
"It's quite alright. Things happen." Don lightly replied.
Alex introduced himself to Ella and Christina as well. I greeted all my aunts, uncles, and cousins as best I could, followed by Alex. I couldn't help but think that it was a really fantastic idea to bring Alex. He was very cool and collected right now, which took the focus off the very frantic me. I sat in front of my dad, and put a hand on his knee.
"Daddy?" I asked.
"Just go say goodbye." he managed to say through tears.
I stood, going to the room that I had been told to go to, with Alex close behind. Apparently, everybody had one-on-one time with Pepere, and we now just waiting. I couldn't stand the thought of waiting for someone to die.
When I finally got to the door, I stopped. "Alex, you just stay outside. I don't want you to see him like that."
"Understood." he planted a besito on my cheek.
I walked in, then paused. Pepere was hooked up to wires, tubes, everything, with Memere sitting beside him, holding his hand. I covered my mouth, tears spurting from my eyes. I couldn't handle this. I lost my cool.
"Marina," he very quietly spoke. "How are you?"
I tried to slap on a strong face for Pepere. "Things have been great. The girls are enjoying their vacation. Kianna and Jack went to Brooklyn."
"Are those two rascalls dating yet?" Pepere asked.
I felt a waterfall run down my face as I let out a smile. He could even be funny on his death bed. I grabbed one of his hands and one of Memere's. She seemed to be staying calm. "No, not yet. And Colby took a trip to West Virginia. Emily and Zack are on their honeymoon."
Pepere started to get emotional. I panicked, turning away so I wouldn't see him struggle. He took a waspy breath and calmed down. "Those damn kids are growing up fast. But what about you?"
"I took a trip up to Maine for a day yesterday."
"With that Alex boy?"
"Yes, with that Alex boy." I blushed.
"Where is he now? I like him." Pepere questioned.
"He's right outside here."
"Go get him."
"Are you sure?" I asked.
"Yes I'm sure. Go." Pepere instructed.
I stood, then quickly went to the door. "Alex, he wants you to come in."
Alex looked confused for a moment, but then headed in. He sat in the chair I had previously been in. I sat on the floor, taking one of Pepere and Memere's hands again.
"Hi Pepere." Alex friendly started.
"Alex, I want you to promise me something."
"Anything." Alex solidly answered. My heart rate skyrocketed.
"I want you to promise you'll take care of my granddaughter-"
"Pepere, don't talk like that." I nervously exclaimed.
"Alex, you're a great kid, and my time is running out-"
"Don't talk like that, Pepere, don't talk like that!" My voice started raising. Alex just sat intently, ignoring me, listening to every word Pepere said.
"And she loves you very much-"
"Pepere, stop!" I yelled.
"Shh, calm down." My Memere sat beside me, grabbing me, holding me.
"And she means the world to me. Alex, please, do what's right." Pepere finished, getting emotional again.
"Pepere, NO!" I said louder, really flipping out.
"She means the world to me, too. I promise I'll never hurt her." Alex promised.
Time was lost. My thoughts ran everywhere. I could no longer feel anything. My grandfather's heart monitor was beeping crazily. My Memere stood up, holding his hand.
"PEPERE NO!" I yelled.
Doctors came running in, telling Alex and I to leave. Alex stood, but I stayed. "STAY STRONG! PEPERE, STAY STRONG!" I screamed.
"Rina-" Alex grabbed me.
"NO! STOP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HIM?!" I screeched even louder.
"Marina, stop!" Alex yelled at me, dragging me out.
I couldn't hear or see anything, except tears coming from my grandmother's eyes, but a relief smile was on her face. And my Pepere's last whisper was "Margret, I love you." That was my grandfather's name.
"NOOOO!" I screamed again, tears coming in like a thunderstorm.
Alex got me into the hallway, and pinned me against the wall. He was crying now, too. "Marina, calm down, I'm begging you!"
I turned around, slamming the wall with my fist, letting out a scream. I screamed over and over. The pain was never ending. "IT'S MY FAULT! I GOT HIM RILED UP!" I screamed.
Alex turned me around and held me against him, refusing to let go. "No you didn't! This is normal human reaction! Please, baby, please! I love you so much. I hate seeing you like this. Just please, calm down."
I screamed even more into his chest. I heard small footsteps come near me. "Now you listen here! Your father has been crying for the past three hours, so if you're not gonna be strong for Alex and you're not gonna be strong for me, then go be strong for him!"
I looked up to see my Memere, hands on her hips. I wiped my eyes with the back of my arm, then hugged Memere. "I'm so sorry."
"You need to go say sorry to your father." she whispered.
I broke off, and ran to the waiting room. Everyone stood, anxiously waiting for me to say something. My father looked like a different man. Eyes red, hat off. I hugged him, and I swear, I never wanted to let go.
______________________________________________________
The window was slightly open, a small breeze churning through the room. How different it felt to be here, my childhood bedroom. I sat up, tucking in my knees. The sun was just rising over the beautiful mountains. Birds chirped freely, as though nothing had changed. Had it really?
It was only eight now, which means it's only been three hours since Pepere's passing. Everyone else was asleep. Since my siblings were a lot older than me, and my sister lived only an hour away, she didn't have a room here. My brother, however, did. My sister and Justin were asleep on the futon downstairs. My brother and Ella were in his room next door, still both asleep. My dad was in his room, and I could barely hear his snoring. Alex was beside me, breathing through his mouth. I smiled. He looked so adorable when he slept.
The real question was this: had things really changed? Yeah. It felt less like the world, knowing Pepere wasn't here anymore. Knowing Memere was sleeping alone. Knowing his clothes would not be worn, his chair would not be sat in, and his voice would not be heard. You could give everything away, but no one could use that voice ever again. The sun still rose, and the birds still chirped, but there was an absence without his crooked smile. But tears ceased to fall. Had I used so many that my eyes dried up?
"Babe, what are you doing?" Alex mumbled, waking.
"I'm reflecting." I whispered.
"You must be tired. Lie back down with me." he begged.
"Do you think things have changed?" I turned to him.
"Of course. But things change every day. Things are always changing." he sat up, sitting behind me, playing with my fingers. "The beat of your heart changes. The bird's chirping has changed. Your mind can change. It doesn't mean the world is ending, it just means things are different. Different isn't always a bad thing. You learn and grow from it. Things have changed, but things are gonna be alright."
I let out a chuckle, then looked at Alex. "Have things changed between us?"
He lied on his back again, and I balanced over him. He used his legs and arms, as did I, to hoist me overhead. "No. We're just the same, just a little more in love."
We balanced for one more second, and then I fell down. I looked out the window as Alex pulled me in again. Yes, things had changed, but they were okay. There was no longer that absence. I looked up at the slowly brightening sky, and thought. Pepere was still here, still with us, and still influencing us every day. He lived on, in memory.
*
I had to add that little bit in at the end. I couldn't leave it on a sad note; it was just too hard to write. So, here is my question: have you ever experienced a passing, and when was your moment of acceptance? I hate to say it, but I really hope I made you cry. It means I'm doing my job well. Alright, carry on. -LoryXD