Eventually I grow tired of being left with only myself. I don't know how everyone else has put up with me because I can't hardly deal with myself.
When I think the coast is clear, I make sure my gown is shut in the back before I limp out the door. My ankle cannot take the weight of my body, that's the first thing I figure out. Even with the thick, hard cast it still shoots pain up my leg. The second is that my head must've taken a hard hit because I'm dizzier than a druggie.
I spot a wheelchair out of the corner of my eye that is folded against the wall, not being used. So, I grab it before I can fall on my face and sit down in it.
I have to go find Hannah.
In my time alone in the hospital room, I've thought constantly about all the things screwed up in my life.
Hannah is the first person I need to talk to. Mom will take some arguing with, Dad will understand anything I try to tell him, and Will can wait. He's waited how many years now?
I push myself down the hallway and peek into the waiting room, looking around the corner like a stalker.
I spot Hannah sitting in the corner, her legs folded underneath her as she sticks her nose farther into her book. She's reading These Broken Stars, a science fiction novel that I remember her buying at the book store. Must be a good read. Her eyes look droopy from a lack of sleep.
As soon as I'm about to sneak over to her in a way I haven't figured out, she gets up, shuts her book with the bookmarked trapped in the middle, and stalks off. I quickly wheel after up the hallway.
"Hannah!" I whisper-yell, not wanting draw any unwanted attention. She doesn't hear me and continues to walk slowly. "Hannah!" I say again and she looks around her, her eyebrows lifting in surprise. She doesn't see me until I run into the backs of her heels.
I forgot how to stop.
"Jessa?" She exclaims, worry filling her face as soon as she lays her eyes on me. I can't imagine how I look. If it's the same way as I feel, it's probably not too good.
"Hey," I say, trying my best smile. It hurts my face to smile too big, so I keep it at a minimum.
She moves quickly, stopping in front of me and moving mechanically, not sure of what to do. "You shouldn't be out here! The heart monitor, the machines, your ankle-"
"Han, its fine," I tell her. "I need to talk to you."
She shakes her head furiously, her brows knitting together as she steps behind my chair and tries to push me. I lock my fingers around the wheels and use what little strength I do have to keep myself in place.
"Jessa, it can wait. I promise, it can. Right now you need to go back in your room so you can get better," she fusses. Finally, I lose my grip on the wheels and Hannah turns me around.
"Staying in that room is not going to help me," I tell her despite the possible lie that is. "Look, this can't wait. I'm not going to let something happen before I get to tell you how sorry I am."
She's still wheeling me towards my door, and even though I want to lay back down before I pass out, I'm glad that she stops right before we turn the corner to head towards it.
I start talking before she does. "I'm so sorry for taking you for granted. I wish I wasn't so selfish, but I am. I'm going to fix that, I promise. You deserve better than me. But right now, the only thing I have to offer you is... this stupid speech... or that stupid liquid stuff they're pumping into my body."
At the reminder that I'm not connected to the things that I'm supposed to be connected to, Hannah quickly rushes me into my room. She helps me back into bed and we call a nurse in the reconnect everything. It's painful all over again when the nurse puts the stupid IV in my arm.
I look over at Hannah and she's giving me a comfortable smile.
After the nurse leaves us - and scolds me for being doing what I did - Hannah wraps me in a hug.
I hug her back the best I can, but the sudden movement makes my body ache.
"You have more to offer to this world, Jessa. I may have overreacted at the time anyway because I knew something was up with Tyler and I was scared to tell you. Then I found out about him and Tori talking and that..." She looks at me with wide eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I honestly wasn't sure if you'd care, considering the relationship you have with Tori."
I shake my head and give her a short laugh. "It's okay, it's probably better that I didn't know. I would've been warning Tyler in every way possible. But we're good now, Tori and me. But how about you and me? Are we okay? I miss my best friend more than anything in this world."
Hannah wraps her arms around my neck carefully and gives me a squeeze. "Of course we're okay. Love you, Jess."
"Love you too, Han," I say, hugging her back just as tightly. "Oh, and what were you going to show me the night I decided to be an idiot and forget?"
She lets out a chuckle. "You'll find out soon enough!"
With that, she twirls around to leave, but I call her name one more time, remembering a small detail.
"Yeah?" She asks, spinning to look back at me once more.
"Um... I don't really have a right to say this, but be careful with Duke, okay? He's got a reputation among his friends and I just... I don't want you to get hurt." I straighten myself up a little and try not to smile. "Because if you do get hurt, it won't be me sitting in this hospital bed."
It's fun to think that I actually mean what I say.
Hannah laughs at me loudly and just shakes her head. "I promise I'll be careful."
Then she leaves, once again leaving me by my lonesome.
I've got to make more friends.
*
The next morning there's a knock on my door. I don't even get a chance to tell them to come in before the door flies open. Will waltzes in with a smile on his face as he shuts the door easily behind him.
My sleepiness instantly fades away and a surge of electricity runs through me as he sits down beside me.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" I ask him quietly as I push the blankets away from my face.
He offers me a smiles and leans back into the uncomfortable wooden chair. "Just wanted to see how you were doing."
I smile to myself and look up at the ceiling. "Wait, today is-"
"A school day, yeah. This was more important," he tells me, a smirk on his face.
"Will-" I try to say, but he interrupts my nagging.
"Let's just chill, okay? What's on the TV?" He looks around for the remote and sees it sitting on the other side of my bed on the stand. He leans across me and grabs it, turning the TV on and searching for a good channel.
I watch him the whole time, noticing how his mood has just changed. He came in with a smile, probably so I wouldn't notice. Now he's just... distant.
"So, what's been happening in the real world the past two days?" I ask him. I should be going home tomorrow or the next day, since the doctors have been monitoring me and my messed up head.
Will tenses up, avoids eye contact with me, and remains staring at the TV.
"Nothing special," he says. "Boring as usual."
I nod my head and purse my lips, not wanting to press him further.
"Let's get out of here, Will," I tell him. He glances over at me a raises his eyebrows.
"What are you talking about?" He asks, turning to look at me as if I've grown two heads.
"Me and you, let's get out of here. I can't stay here much longer or I'll lose my mind. We don't have to go far... just out of this building."
His eyes still look at me funny as a smile tries to surface. "I can't take you out of here, not like this."
Though I don't like being kept in this room by myself - restrained - Will is also obviously needing out. But now that Will is here and there is something clearly wrong, I don't think this is the atmosphere he needs to be in.
I start to get up and push myself out of the bed, but he stops me.
"Jessa," he says sternly and places his hands on my shoulders.
I push them off and grab the crutches I had requested last night. I walk to the small closet where my clothes should be in an overnight bag and pull out a pair of sweatpants and a long-sleeved shirt.
Before disappearing into the bathroom, I look back at Will whose eyes are already on me.
"You better be ready to piggy back me out of here when I get out." With that, I shut the door and carefully get dressed. I'm still sore, but it's nothing I can't handle. Will needs me, and I need him.
It kills me inside knowing that if anything was to happen between us, it would be the hardest thing in the world to accept. All the heartbreak he left with me when he left, all the drama and trouble that follows us everywhere.
When I open the door, the TV is off and Will is stuffing pillows under my blankets on the bed. I smile at him and use the crutches to hold myself up.
"Good idea," I tell him. He smiles back at me and makes his way over.
"Are you sure you're up for this? You were just in an accident and you're all... broken." His eyes scrape over my indeed broken body.
I shrug my shoulders. "It's never stopped me before, has it?"
When I say this, I know that I'm talking about when Will broke me; when Connor broke me; when everything was falling apart. But now Will is here, trying to fix me.
Will doesn't know, though, that I'm talking about him or even Connor, so he smiles and takes my hand.
"Let's get this show on the road then, shall we?" He grins and turns, squatting down so I can climb on his back. He grabs my crutches and holds onto them as we make our escape.
And soon we're on our way to fixing each other.
__________
So sorry for the late update! I just graduated high school, so I've been a little busy, haha
The song is Closing Time by Semisonic!
Anyway, what did you think about this chapter? I know it's short but I wanted to get it posted. And I have other ideas for the next chapter, which, by the way, may or may not be a little late! I'm working now to save up for college and it takes up a lot of my time.
By the way, I have read These Broken Stars and I fell in love with it! It is definitely one of my favorites.
If you like survival, space, and romance, then you will love that book!
Thanks for understanding!
Oh, and thanks for reading!!