Demi
I've never been so scared in my life as I called Nick to tell him that Mercy was sick. I knew what was wrong with her. I just didn't want to say it out loud. Not until Nick was standing beside me. When I heard his car pull up, I sat Mercy on the bottom step of our staircase & ran to open the door. What I saw was like a punch in the gut. Nick was walking hand in hand with Skye toward the door. If my day wasn't bad enough I was watching this woman's hand in my husband's. Nick saw Mercy behind me & let go of Skye's hand to run to his baby girl. I watched him scoop her up into his arms & stand up. I went to his side, my eyes filled with fearful tears.
"She doesn't look good." Nick said to me in a whisper. He kissed Mercy's head. "Daddy's here, baby girl." Mercy lifted her head to look, blankly, at Nick's face. After a moment her head fell to Nick's shoulder. I could see the worry on Nick's face.
Mercy reached her hand out to me & I took her back in my embrace. She had been there for several hours before I had called Nick. I was crying harder now as I looked up at Nick. "Smell her breath. It's why I called you." I struggled to get the words out & the moment I said them, Nick's face froze. He knew exactly why I was freaking out. I watched him swallow a lump.
Nick leaned his face toward Mercy's. "Can Daddy have a kiss, angel?" Mercy, lifted her head slightly & puckered her tiny mouth to kiss Nick. I saw him breathe in by her mouth as she pulled away from him. His eyes darted up to mine & I saw the same fear that I had in my own eyes. "I need my bag." Nick stood up straight, looking around, absently.
Skye spoke up. "It's in the car. Want me to go get it?" She asked. As much as it hurt that I witnessed them holding hands, I was actually grateful she was here right now. She seemed, genuinely, concerned. Nick nodded, seeming in shock & Skye ran from the house. She came back in a moment later, out of breath from running, so quickly. She handed the bag to Nick & touched his arm, gently, giving it a slight squeeze of comfort. If I wasn't already sick to my stomach about my daughter, that would have done the trick.
Nick told me to sit on the steps & he knelt down in front of us, working, diligently, with quiet concern on his face. As Mercy's head rested on my shoulder, we both watched Nick. He took out an alcohol wipe & massaged Mercy's tiny finger with it. He blew on it to dry it as he got the lancing pen ready & put a blood sugar test strip into his Accu-chek device. "Mercy, you know how daddy sticks his finger? I'm going to need you to be a brave big girl, while I do it to your finger, okay?" Mercy was so out of it that she didn't acknowledge Nick. When he pricked her finger, she jumped but I think it was mostly from the noise it made. Nick squeezed a drop of blood into the test strip then pressed the button & we waited. Nick's eyes didn't leave the screen or even blink in the five seconds it took for the reading to show up. I knew it was bad when he looked at me.
"I need you to go get her dressed & throw some things in a bag. We need to get her to the ER." Nick's voice was trying to be steady, but I knew him too well. He was scared & so was I.
"How high is it?" I asked him. He ignored me & started putting everything back in his little bag. "Nick!" His head snapped up when I yelled. "How high is it?"
He swallowed, then rubbed his hand on his forehead as a tear glistened in the corner of his eye. "It's 599." He said, flatly, his worried eyes on Mercy.
I gasped, covering my mouth with my hand. "Isn't that as high as the meter will go?" I asked, barely speaking above a whisper. Nick nodded, fear in his eyes. "So it could be higher?" I held Mercy tighter as I tried to cry quietly. I didn't want to scare her.
"I'm going to call my mom & see if she can come sit with Jerry. Go get her dressed." Nick said in a firm voice as he stood.
Skye stepped forward, holding onto Nick's arm. "I can stay here with Jerry until your mom gets here if you want." She offered in a quiet voice. I was grateful for her at this moment because my baby girl was sick.
Nick turned to face her a little. "Really? You would do that?"
Skye nodded, smiling. "Of course. You need to be with your daughter, Nick."
"Is that okay with you?" Nick asked me.
I nodded. "Thank you." I croaked out,, my eyes looking at Skye's smiling face.
Nick turned back to Skye. "Thank you. That means so much to me." He looked at me as I stood up. "I'm going to show Skye where things are down here, in case Jerry wakes up." I nodded at him, then headed up the stairs. When I got to the top of the stairs, I looked down over the railing at Nick & Skye as they stood where I left them. They were talking, but I couldn't hear them. Then I saw Skye lean in & kiss Nick. It was a soft, sweet kiss, but it lingered enough to make me want to scream. Quickly, not wanting to see more, I turned & headed to Mercy's room to get her dressed. Nick came up several minutes later, Skye standing in the doorway.
"I wanted to show Skye where the room was." Nick explained. He picked Mercy up in his arms & I followed him down to our car. Everything from the point on was a blur to me. They raced Mercy into an exam room when they saw her. Once they got an accurate reading of her sugar, they found that it was almost 700. They also found out she was dehydrated, so she was hooked up to an IV & then admitted into the hospital. Once she was in an actual room, we were left alone. She was in a bed with railings on it & she was sleeping. We had been there for an hour & already her sugar was coming down. I was so relieved she was going to be okay. The doctor came in at almost 1 a.m. to tell us what we already knew. Our daughter had Type 1 Diabetes, just like Nick.
The doctor had a clipboard with paper work for us to sign & Nick was signing it first. "Oh my God." He said, staring at the line he just signed.
"What?" I asked as I sat in the chair next to him. The doctor stepped forward, thinking there was a problem with the form.
Nick's eyes met mine & they were filled with tears. "It's November 16th." He whispered.
"Wow." I whispered as my hand came to my mouth & tears filled my eyes. The doctor cleared his throat. I looked up at him to explain. "He was diagnosed with Type 1 exactly fifteen years ago today."
The doctor's eyes were wide. "Wow is right. That is incredible."
Nick & I signed the rest of the papers & once the doctor left us alone again, Nick's head fell into his hands & I heard him sobbing. I ran my hand up & down his back & put the other one on his leg as I leaned into him. He started shaking his head, then he stood up to lean on Mercy's bed railing. I stood up next to him. His tear stained face was breaking my heart. "You probably wish you never had kids with me." He choked out.
I put my arm around his waist. "Oh my God, Nick. No. Never." He turned his head, slowly, to look at me. "I will never regret having your babies. Ever. They are the loves of my life just as you are." I gave him a soft smile as he put an arm around my shoulder.
He looked at Mercy & broke down again, this time pulling me into a hug. I held him tight, enjoying being in his arms again even if it was over our daughter's illness. "I'm so sorry, Demi. I never wanted our kids to have it." He sobbed against my ear.
"You didn't do it on purpose." I pulled away from him to look up at his face. "She's going to be fine. You know what? She's going to be better than fine because you are going to be her hero even more than you already are. You're going to teach her how to be great in spite of this disease. You're going to teach her that she can do anything her little heart desires & nothing will stop her, including Diabetes. You & her are going to fight until there is a cure. And it will be a hellava fight because you are two of the strongest people I know." I wiped my own tears as Nick wiped his face. "She is going to grow up & drive us crazy as a teenager. She is going to grow up & get married & have babies because her dad is going to teach her that Diabetes doesn't define her. It's just a part of who she is."
Nick's crying, started to stop. "Thanks. I needed to hear that." He pulled me close for another hug, then let me go so he could sit again. I sat next to him & we said nothing for a little while.
"I need to find some coffee." I said after a while. As I stood to leave, Nick's phone rang & he answered it.
"Hello?" I heard him say into his phone as I made my way to the door. "Oh, hey Skye. Glad you made it home okay.... Thanks again for staying.... I really appreciate it." I didn't want to hear them get lovey dovey, so I left.
I made my way to the lobby of the hospital since I was pretty sure there was a coffee stand in there. It was a Starbucks as if the powers at be knew exactly what I needed. I hadn't slept yet so I was exhausted. I ordered a large coffee & got Nick's favorite tea. I made my way back up to Mercy's room, slowly. I hated seeing my baby girl looking so helpless. I hated the thought of Nick moving on. I couldn't get the image of him & Skye kissing, out of my head. Now I knew how Nick felt after seeing me kiss Rafe, except what I witnessed wasn't as passionate as what Nick saw. Well, sorry, Skye. I am not giving you my husband. You will have to pry him from my cold dead hands. I puffed my chest as I rode up in the elevator to Mercy's floor.
Nick was sitting in the chair when I returned to the room, his head bent down, resting in his hands. I couldn't see his face. I touched his shoulder with the coffee cup & he looked up. "They have a Starbucks in here." I smiled.
"Thanks. We picked the right hospital I guess." He chuckled, taking the cup in his hands.
I laughed as I went on the other side of Mercy's bed. I leaned on the rail. "Skye made it home okay?"
Nick nodded, taking a sip of his drink. "Yea. Mom got there about an hour or so after we left & Frankie was with her, so he drove her home."
"She seems nice. I was really grateful that she stayed."
"Yea. Me, too."
"So Jerry's okay?" I asked as I watched Mercy as she slept. She was starting to get some color in her skin & she looked better than earlier.
"Yea. He's fine." Nick answered.
I heard Nick sniffing & when I looked over, he was wiping at fresh tears. "Hey... what's wrong?" I asked.
He stood up & leaned on the rail across from me on the opposite side of Mercy's bed. He sat his coffee on the rolling table beside the bed. "I feel so guilty. I mean I should have seen all this earlier. We were so caught up in our drama that we didn't notice our baby girl was so sick."
I felt guilty, too. I hadn't thought about that. Nick was right. We were selfish & so self absorbed. But then again, we weren't with her for long periods of time. "Nick, we had no idea because neither of us were with her for a long enough period of time to notice. It's not our fault. We didn't intentionally neglect her."
Nick nodded, slightly. "I should have just moved into a different bedroom." He shook his head, sighing. "Funny, how things like this put things into perspective."
"Yea." I agreed, taking a drink of my coffee. Nick & I both watched Mercy sleep for several minutes. I decided to bring up Skye again. I had this morbid desire to know what was going on with them. Had he lied to me a few weeks prior or did they just get together? "So, how long have you & Skye been dating?" I asked, watching his face, closely.
Nick looked up at me, his forehead wrinkled. "Tonight was our first date so don't think I was lying to you." He knows me so well.
I shook my head, frowning. "I was just wondering." I took a few deep breaths before I spoke again. "Sorry, I interrupted your date." I wasn't sorry.
Nick watched my face for a moment. "Don't be sorry. Our kids will always come first." He gave me a smile, then looked back down at Mercy. He was sitting on a stool & was leaning on the railing, resting his chin on his hands. I watched him sigh. "I was actually kissing her for the first time when you called me." He brought his eyes to mine as he finished the sentence.
My heart ached in my chest. I stared in his eyes a moment. "I saw her kiss you when I went up to get Mercy dressed. I guess you could say we're even now." I smiled, sheepishly.
"You saw that? I'm sorry. I guess we are even." Nick grinned at me.
I looked at Mercy. I was afraid I would start crying if I looked into Nick's eyes another minute. "Have you slept with her yet?" I asked, in a snide way, making Nick chuckle. Yea, I wasn't giving in. I wasn't letting this Skye chick have my husband.
"I told you I wouldn't do that, Demi. I'm still married." Nick said in a simple tone. Yea, that's right, honey. WE are still married.
I rolled my eyes to the ceiling. "She knows that, right?" I asked in a sarcastic tone. Nick nodded, smiling, looking very amused. "Well does she know that I am not giving you up without a fight?" I put my coffee cup down & folded my hands in front of me while I leaned on the railing. I was glaring at his face as he smirked, shrugging his shoulders. "Well, let her know." I ordered. Nick tried to hide his laugh. "Next time you kiss her... you better tell her what I said." My face was pretty serious.
Nick bent his head down as he stifled his laugh. He looked back up at me. "There won't be a next time." He said in a serious tone.
I made an expression of surprise. "Wow. Was she that bad of a kisser?"
Nick shook his head. "Nah. I just realized something when I was kissing her."
I leaned forward a little, curious now. "Oh yea? What's that?" I was so afraid of his answer. Was he ready to move on? Was he wanting to file for a divorce now?
Nick's expression changed from amused to sad as he looked at Mercy. I saw his chin tremble, slightly & saw him swallow a lump in his throat. What was upsetting him now? "I realized.... that.... " His eyes came up to lock with mine. "I'm still madly in love with my wife." He took a deep breath. "And that I am not ready to give up on us."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing right now. Tears blurred my vision as I put both my hands to my mouth. "You aren't?"
Nick shook his head, wiping his eyes. "As soon as she is out of the hospital, I'll go see your therapist with you."
"Really?" I gushed, sticking my lower lip out. Nick nodded, again, a tiny smile forming on his lips. I let out a huge sigh of relief & looked upward. I was thanking God in my head. I looked back at Nick. "Can I come over there & kiss you now?" I smiled.
"Not sure I'm ready to kiss you yet, but you can hug me." Nick stood up straight. He started walking toward me as I started walking around the bed to him & we met at the foot of it. He grabbed me in his arms & I held on for dear life. I wasn't sure I'd ever be in his arms like this again. I was home. I wanted to kiss him, but I didn't want to push it. I don't even know how long we hugged, both of us crying, quietly. Nick started to loosen his grip on me & slowly we parted. His hands came up to either side of my face & he held my head, just under my jawline, as he looked into my eyes. "I'm ready now." His hands pulled my face to his & his lips crashed into mine with purpose. I sighed beneath his mouth, wrapping my arms tight around him, feeling his muscles ripple under his shirt. God, I wished we weren't in a hospital right now. Nick's mouth moved against mine in sweet affection, making my knees weak. It felt like our first kiss all over again, as my heart beat loudly in my chest. I lost track of time while we kissed. Nick was pulling his lips from mine & I felt tingly all over. "I love you." Nick whispered against my mouth as he looked into my eyes. "And I'm sorry I let my pride get in the way of us being together."
I smiled. "Better late than never. And I love you... so much." I sighed, leaning into him, my mouth on his again. He gave me another kiss, then held me against his chest for a long time. I didn't want to move from this spot. From his arms. Tears of joy fell from my eyes, staining Nick's shirt. He kissed my head as he rubbed his hand up & down my back & over my hair. I was not ever going to let anything come between us again. I was holding onto him & not letting go. I wasn't ever going to take him for granted. I was going to appreciate this man every day for the rest of my life & never let him forget how much I loved him. I couldn't wait to be at home with him, so we could finally make up for real.