Okay, so I know I already updated today, but...I'M JUST SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS CHAPTER!
I've also realized that I won't be able to finish this book before I graduate, which is okay, but that gives me another reason to update twice in one day ;)
Anyway, I hope you enjoy!
@nonabritt2000, I'm sorry if you cry again.
I tensed slightly when a rustling noise came from the top of the stairs. It wasn't like we weren't ready--I'd been up since five to make sure things were perfect--but I was a little worried all the same. There was a lot riding on the way this all played out, or at least in my mind.
Torrin and Charlie both grinned when I glanced their way with a worried expression. They didn't have to say a thing to make some of the tension leave my body. Just the fact that they'd both made it to our house on time, in one piece, and in good spirits gave me a good amount of hope.
Charlie craned his neck to glance up the stairs. "Do you think it's her?"
With furrowed brows, I pulled my phone out of standby to check the time. "No," I held it up for them to see, "I don't think so. Coda's not usually up until seven on weekends."
When Kellan sauntered down the hardwood steps in a pair of black sweatpants, I sent the Paxton brothers a look that said I told you so. A face splitting yawn escaped Kellan's lips as he tousled his blond hair. He took a seat next to Torrin on the couch and I wordlessly went to the kitchen to pour him a cup of strong coffee. Torrin and Charlie had been nursing their own cups for nearly two hours and they gladly accepted the refill I offered.
Within fifteen minutes, both my parents and Mark and Callie had appeared in the living room and began sipping cups of coffee. We chatted comfortably, not really bothering to be quiet. Coda was sleeping upstairs in my room because mom and dad had taken over the guest room where she typically lived. I didn't mind sharing, especially since it enabled me to keep a closer eye on her. She'd been really down in the dumps lately and the whole family was concerned.
"Well," my mom began, motioning to the massive Christmas tree with her coffee mug, "do you guys think Santa brought what you asked for?"
A giggle escaped my mouth. "Nope. You guys already did that for me."
"Aw, you put a pickup on your Christmas list? How cute," she cooed, smirking over the rim of her mug. Even though Kellan and I were seventeen years old, my family still kept the tradition of Santa Claus alive, just like Mama Callie and dad's parents had when they were in high school. Uncle Mark and my mom had given up that charade before they were ten years old, but they always seemed happy to play along with their spouses.
When the sound of water rushing down through the pipes met my ears, I froze. The only person not in the room was Coda, so that meant she had to be awake. Soon I'd get to see my entire plan unfold. I sent up a prayer that it would go off without a hitch.
Charlie and Torrin met my eyes, looking just as excited as I felt. When I'd called them to see if they wanted to come and surprise Coda, they had both seemed incredibly relieved. I wondered if that was because they didn't have any gift ideas, either.
"Everybody shh," I hissed, eyes sparkling when footsteps sounded on the landing.
Coda padded down the stairs in her quiet way and peered into the kitchen through sleepy eyes. Seeing nobody there, she crept into the living room, completely unaware of the surprise we had waiting for her.
When our whole smiling family came into view her face reddened. "Uh, good morn--" She stopped cold and blinked a few times when she saw her brothers. "What are you--"
"Merry Christmas!" Charlie and Torrin chorused, their grins widening. When they smiled, the family resemblance was undeniable.
Coda stood completely still and for a second I wondered if I'd made the right choice by inviting her brothers to spend Christmas at our house. It wasn't until she let out a piercing scream and launched herself across the room, baggy pajamas flapping wildly, that I knew my gift was perfect. "You guys!"
It took everything in me to not cover my ears as she hollered at them with glee. I'd never seen Coda so excited in my entire life.
"Merry Christmas! What're you doing in my house? Did Blake let you in?" She was talking so fast it was hard to understand. Her head swiveled back and forth between the two and hysterical laughter bubbled up; the kind she very rarely let loose.
"Yeah, this was all Blake's idea," Charlie explained, "even the bows." I chuckled as well when he pointed to the massive clumps of red ribbon that caught Coda's attention from the very beginning. I'd talked the boys into sitting still long enough for me to strap a shining, floppy creation to each of their heads. Even though the dumb things were hard to miss, none of my family members had said a word, probably just to protect their egos.
"Come here, sissy," Torrin demanded, wrenching the tacky thing off his head with a loud crunch, "I think you need a bow."
Coda giggled like a four year old when he worked it over her head to sit just above her left eye like some kind of grotesque wart. The bow itself was as big as her entire head, which made the sight that much more comical.
Throughout the entire exchange, I sat in a recliner and snapped an exorbitant amount of pictures. It was a moment none of us would probably ever relive and I wanted to have it fully documented.
Mama Callie whisted from her spot on the opposite couch in between Uncle Mark and my dad. "Lookin' good, hon."
Coda giggled some more and did a little twirl for us, which I caught on video. Her brothers' laughter in the background made it that much better. She plopped down in between the two of them and wrapped an arm around either. If I wasn't such a tough son of a bitch, it might've brought tears to my eyes. I noticed mama Callie's baby blues glistening in the multi-colored lights strung on our tree.
My aunt was the one to break the silence with a clap of her hands. "Well, should we open presents?"
I cheered and scrambled out of my chair to grab a gift for each of us. When I handed a medium sized cube-shaped box to Coda, she stared up at me in wonder. "I get a gift?"
When I sent her a weird look, she stumbled out an explanation. "Well, I don't need anything. They're the best gift I ever could've got."
I rolled my eyes and shoved the box into her hands. "Then I guess none of these are gonna live up to your high expectations. Too bad you'll just have to live with it."
She grinned up at me and ran a hand over the shiny wrapping paper. "Thanks, Blake."
"You're welcome." I handed a box to Kellan and plopped back down in my recliner with my own rectangular present.
"Alright, who wants to go first?" Mama Callie hollered, successfully quieting our chatter.
"Coda." Kellan and I both pointed to the grinning blonde at the same time.
"Ugh," she groaned, sitting up a little straighter. No matter how hard she tried to hide it, we all knew she was excited. More than once, she'd mentioned that she absolutely adored Christmas and everything that came with it.
By the time we'd gone around the room three times, Coda had a sizable pile of clothes on her lap (that would actually fit her), Kellan clutched a box of car detailing supplies meant for his precious pickup, and I had a set of roping stirrups and a painting to hang on my wall. That's not to mention the array of gifts the adults had scattered around the room. To say we were a gifty family was an understatement.
"Okay, Blakey, you better grab the next round," my aunt instructed. I shoved myself out of the chair, leaving it to rock in my wake, and knelt in front of the tree.
"Okay, here's another one for Kellan, mama Callie, dad, uncle Mark, me..."
"Hey, I want you to open a different gift," my mom called, pointing to a medium sized box that was wrapped in shimmery green paper. I grabbed that and another for each family member before passing them around.
"Can Blake go first this time?" My mom pleaded, surprising us all."
I sent her a grin and began tearing the pretty paper away to reveal a white cardboard box that had strips of tape running along the entire length of it. Groaning, I dug out my pocket knife and carefully sliced each piece away. Everyone laughed when I opened the box to find a ridiculous amount of styrofoam and packing peanuts. When I finally got all of that cleared away, my eyes went wide.
In my hands was a heavy silver stirrup. A raised scrolling pattern trailed down either side of the cool metal, which shone rainbow in the Christmas lights. Hanging from the roller was a laminated card which I struggled to read in the dim morning light.
"I know it's not a roping stirrup," my mom started, seeming sheepish, "but I couldn't find one that was pretty enough and would stand up like I wanted it to."
"No, this is great," I reassured her, still staring at the gorgeous frame.
I was finally able to read it when I pulled out my phone and turned on the flashlight. The background was a low exposure photo of me smiling on a gorgeous chestnut my dad had trained, rope in hand. Everyone turned their attention to Kellan as I struggled to read the words.
I thought I got a pageant girl to dress up like a doll
But God gave me a roper girl who's better than them all.
My pretty little roper girl is tough, and smart, and brave.
She's better than those princesses because she can't behave.
She likes wild horses, running free, that girl's not like the rest.
She won't give in, she won't give up, she gives all things her best.
That pretty little roper girl's the greatest gift I ever got
I love her more than anything; girls like her just can't be bought.
She's gonna light the world on fire, you just wait and see.
Don't ever let them stop you, sissy, keep on running free.
If I thought watching Coda's happiness could stir up my emotions, I was ready to be downright hysterical about this gift. A surge of tears washed over me and for the first time in a long time, I thought I might cry. When I glanced up, I found that everyone else was laughing at Kellan as he showcased whatever he'd just opened. Everyone, that is, except for my mom.
She had been watching me the entire time I read, and I met her gaze to find a look as deeply emotional as my own. Her hazel eyes were as open as I'd ever seen them and she looked just as ready to cry as I felt.
Acceptance. That was the only word pounding in my brain on repeat, ringing in my ears. My mom loved me for me and wasn't expecting me to be that perfect rodeo queen. Finally she understood that I wasn't that girl, and never would be. And finally, we had found some common ground instead of butting heads like we had my entire seventeen years on this earth.
God gave me a roper girl who's better than them all...
Re-reading the phrase, I sucked in a deep breath and managed a watery smile, which she returned.
Everyone turned to look at me as I stood up and crossed the room, frame still clutched in my left hand, but I didn't care. All I wanted in that moment was to hug my mother and somehow make her understand how much this gift truly meant to me. Them bringing my pickup up said a lot about the amount of trust I'd managed to gain, but this was a whole different category. This meant she didn't resent me for being more like my daddy than anyone. This meant she saw how much I loved roping and how hard I tried to please her while at the same time finding a balance between the girl I was and the girl she wanted me to be. This meant forgiveness and change and confidence and pride, and all the things I'd been secretly longing to feel from my mama for the last seventeen years. Finally, she was happy with me, not the made-up, fake smiling pageant barbie she'd tried to raise.
I hugged her harder than I ever had in my life, letting a tear slip down my face. Coda and my aunt and everybody watched, but I didn't care. They didn't either, and I knew that. Those two especially were thrilled to see me me putting on my big girl boots and letting a couple of tears fall.
Sometimes it's not the girls holding back tears that are the toughest; it's the ones that let them fall without shame that are.