Trigger warning : Abuse, bullying, and mentions of suicide.
This was the third fight today.
Only difference? This one was about him.
Or rather, included him.
No, he wasn't fighting. He would've had an unfair advantage. Not every mentally ill superhero enjoys beating people for the fun of it.
Besides, he wasn't at fault.
Not really, anyways.
Just because he didn't respond vocally when they boy spoke to him didn't mean he was ignoring him, he just didn't feel like talking.
Of course, that's kind of hard to explain without talking.
So that's why he was on the floor, doing his best to block his face as staff members evacuated other patients and attempted to pull the rouge off him.
"Get off me you-" The boy yelled, explicits flying from his mouth as he was restrained and taken to the quiet room.
After that, rumors spread like wildfire as more and more kids learned to stay away from 'The Mute', that he was dangerous, and that he was really the one who started the fight because he didn't talk to the kid.
Ryan, unable to speak, went without defending himself and allowed the abuse to roll over him in a comforting wave. Something familiar. At last.
He walked back to his room silently, something not unusual for him to do, when a patient shoved him into the wall. He simple pushed himself off the wall and walked into his room, shutting the door and ignoring the patient.
That's when the abuse became ten times worse. It was only verbal at first, but then it became little pushes and nudges, the occasional tripping here and there.
And then it became even more physical.
Students started not caring about getting in trouble. They had a new outlet for their anger. The mute.
Ryan stopped going to the hospitals gym after he got a concussion from being hit in the head with a football thrown full force at his head.
He stopped going to the cafeteria after someone tripped him and he fell into his food.
Stopped leaving his room after people pulled chairs out from under him whenever he went to sit.
Stopped getting out of bed when students did puzzles in front of his closed door only to slide hateful messages under it.
As he fell deeper into depression, the psychiatrist put him back onto one-to-one, causing his door to have to stay open.
That only made things worse.
The bullying increased tenfold. Again.
Students glared into his room as they passed by. Some tried to come into his room to attack him. They increased staff, regulating them around Ryan.
Grace and Mark knew nothing off this. Ryan refused to tell them. To him, there was nothing to tell.
Finally the staff had had enough. They sat everyone down and explained that anyone who bullied or abused another patient would stay in the quiet room until the victim was released. That meant no activities, being put on red, and not going home for even longer. They'd have to start the cycle over again.
That's when the abuse became emotional.
Students muttering about Ryan within his earshot. Telling him it's all his fault. His fault he's this way. That he was born to die. That he was and is nothing.
Ryan tried to kill himself again. The one-to-one was in the bathroom with him when he attempted to drown himself in the toilet. He was desperate. He didn't get very far with his plan.
Another therapist was added to his schedule.
She only made things worse.
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"Ryan, why don't you want to speak?"
A shrug.
"Did you ever figure that if you started talking, maybe all this bullying would end?"
Another shrug.
"Maybe..." She began, "You want this?"
A head shake 'no'.
"Come on, Ryan. You've got to be doing this for a reason. Is it for attention?"
No.
"A cry for help?"
No again.
"To hurt everyone?"
He was shocked, he stopped before forcefully shaking his head no. But it was too late, she had taken his disbelief as hesitation.
"That's it, isn't it. You want to hurt those around you. You want them to feel your pain. Don't you? Oh, Ryan..." She gave him a pitying look that reminded him of Principal Grey, "You can't do that. Now Ryan, you don't want it to be your fault that your family is hurting, do you?"
"You do realize," She continued, "That you're to blame for your family's pain, right? That right now, at this moment, it's your fault your family is hurting. Is that's what you want?"
Another head shake 'no'.
"Well, that's what you're doing. You-" She looked at the clock, "Well, it looks like your time is up, let me walk you back."
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"And that's why, Ryan, you shouldn't cause your family to hurt for your own pleasure," The therapist finished her speech loudly as they entered the pod, causing everyone to look up at the blushing Ryan, "Have a nice day, Ryan! Jeremy, come with me!"
Ryan stalked back to his room and went to slam the door when a foot caught it and Lillian walked in.
He pointed to the door.
She rolled her eyes, "No, I'm not leaving."
Ryan mocked yelling at her.
"I know, I'll get in trouble," She said with a silly voice, mimicking one of the staff members, "I really don't care. What's going on with you?"
Ryan began pacing back and forth. He stopped and grabbed his notepad, began writing before scribbling it out, tearing out the paper, and beginning again.
He turned the page to Lillian, it read : "Everything! Everything is wrong!"
"What do you mean?" Lillian asked.
Scribbling again, "I want to get out of here, everyone hates me. I just want to die already."
Lillian looked offended briefly before Ryan realized she was faking it, "Why Ryan, you should know I don't hate you," She said sincerely, "And I don't want you to die. If you're so tired of all the bullying- that's right, I see it and I beat them up afterwords- then why don't you stand up to them?"
He wrote something that read, "Why bother? My death is inevitable anyways."
Lillian sighed, "You can't really think that."
Ryan had a look on his face that screamed, "But I do."
She ran a hand through her black hair, "I'll see what I can do to get those people to leave you alone, but you're going to have to work with me. I can't do it by myself, I'll help you out, but you have to work with me."
Ryan was still before he gave a curt nod of agreement.
"It's a deal then." She spit into her hand and went to shake his.
He did the same and they shook.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She was mocking him. The therapist. Every move he made she copied.
Apparently she had done enough because she swore softly to herself before grinning a sick smile and screaming, "No, Ryan! Put that down!"
She leaned down next to him and threatened, "Take the blame, or else."
She thrusted a pair of scissors into his hand after slicing her arm and throwing herself to the floor with a thud.
Staff rushed into the room to find Ryan holding a pair of bloody scissors and his therapist lying on the floor, fear in her eyes.
And that's when his isolation only got worse.
He was forced into the quiet room for days at a time. The kids that bullied him were forgiven, as they believed the kids were only defending themselves against him, "The Mute."
Ryan, in his room finally after spending a day and a half in the quiet room, was laying on his bed, curled into a ball while facing the wall. Tears streamed down his face.
It was unfair! So unfair! He just wanted to die already! Why wouldn't the just let him die?
It was then that he went completely numb. Not calm, numb. He stopped caring completely. He thought he had before. But he just didn't care.
Didn't care enough to live.
Didn't care enough to die.
Barely cared enough to not care about people beating on him.
He was done.
And he was no longer afraid to show it.
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Okay, so I'm just going to say it, I've been bullied so I tried putting that in here, but other than that I haven't really been abused so I don't know how accurate this is. If I offended anyone that wasn't my attention and I'll take whatever offended you out. Please let me know if there's anything you'd want me to change to be more accurate.
Now that that's said, whew. The next chapter will be called 'Finding Out' or something along those lines. This'll be fun.
Either way, thanks for reading and don't forget to live life and love PINEAPPLES!!!
P.S. I'm lucky enough to not have had this happen to me in the hospital, but some people experience it in real life on a daily basis. So please, if you or someone you know may be at risk of this type of behavior, let someone know. Heck, let me know and I'll go to the ends of the Earth to find a help hotline to help you. I mean, I'll help you to the best of my ability too, but the best I can really do is be a friend (which I'm totally willing to do! I'm just not a trained psychologist, or psychiatrist).
Please not that the character of Lillian is based off someone I met in the hospital, but I used a gender-swap. Either way, if you're out there and for some reason reading this, I just want to thank you! Your willingness to at least try to know me really did help me.