Chapter 14
Zen P.O.V
"What am I going to wear?" I lay on Carmen's bed with Carmen as I contemplated on what I'd wear for yet another date with Ian.
After the little car incident and everything else that's been going wrong he thought that we should do something to make up. I thought it was a good idea too. I just feel like Ian doesn't like me the way I like him. I like him, and I have been liking him, but the way he's acting I don't really even know how he feels anymore.
That phone call he got from that girl really threw me off though I mean if he's seeing someone else I can't really be mad, because of the simple fact that we're not together, but I can't help but let it get to me.
"Do you really even think you should be going?" Carmen asked, ignoring my own question
"What? Why would you even say that?" I answered with another question trying to see where she was going with this.
I don't know if Carmen doesn't like Ian or if she's just being difficult, but she so against us. I mean she is my best friend she should be happy for me. I know damn well that every time she gets a new 'boyfriend' I'm happy for her.
She rolled her eyes "I just don't know, he don't seem right for you. I mean he might make you happy and all that, but do you really know him?" She said in a low voice.
"That's what I'm trying to do, get to know him, damn. You just need to be happy for me" I semi-yelled getting angry now. I didn't want to think she was jealous, but that's exactly what it sounds like.
"Whatever, but where are y'all going?"
I'm not even going to let Carmen's stupid ass get to me right now, I just need to ignore it and move on, this is supposed to be a good day anyway.
"We're going to a movie and out to eat, nothing big" I lied. I had no idea where we would be going as usual.
"Oh" she replied looking down. I don't know what's going on with her, it's like one minute she was mad, then the next she was sad.
"What's wrong Carmen?" I asked going to her side and patting her back. Even though she was acting stupid as hell she was still my best friend and I had to be there for her.
"You just get this boy, and you're happy, but I'm over here feeling like shit."
I did feel bad, but I couldn't be with Carmen all the time I had my own life that I had to work out.
"I'm sorry Carmen, You just need to find someone" I said pulling her into a hug. We stayed like this for a little while longer.
My best friend was feeling neglected, and I had to be here for her. I thought about canceling my date, but I didn't know if that was the right decision or not. I mean I wanted to be here for Carmen, but I didn't want to mope around all night.
"Are you okay?" I asked, as I pulled away from our hug. I could see tears beginning to form in her eyes and I rubbed her back trying to comfort her.
She wiped her face and got up from the bed as if nothing had happened. "Okay we got a date to get you ready for, come on!" I smiled as she grabbed my hand and led me to her closet to find me something to wear.
Wearing the same size as your fashionable best friend defiantly had its perks. My outfit for tonight lay on Carmen's bed as she did my make up, which was light. The cleavage that I would be showing was a little more than my liking, but I would try it, just because Carmen was all for it.
I was just really happy that she wouldn't make me wear any heels. As she finished I heard my phone vibrate on her bed. Carmen picked it up and answered it holding the phone between her shoulder and ear, while brushing the mascara brush against my eyelashes.
"Hello" she said into the phone.
There was a short pause and Carmen's eyebrows knitted together. She clicked her tongue and rolled her eyes as if she had heard something stupid.
"Whatever Ian, Zen is right here, she'll be ready in about 20 minutes."
I laughed at her sudden mood change. "What was that about?"
Just as she had gotten done she spoke, "Nothing, but come on and get dressed, He's on his way"
I nodded and got up from my seat. I walked to her spacious bathroom with my outfit in hand. As I pulled the high-waist jeans over my legs I thought about Carmen. This was obviously a time when she needed the people she was closest to in her life.
With her mother gone on business and her father barely home because of work, she was probably feeling abandoned. I admit, I have been neglecting her, but she hasn't seemed to mind besides her just recent breakdown. She just still seemed like she was busy and doing fine.
I made a mental note to spend some more time with her soon. At that moment I heard the chime of a doorbell and I knew it was Ian. I fixed my hair, put on a little more gloss, and walked out the bathroom. I grabbed my purse and proceeded downstairs.
When I reached the bottom of the stairs I saw a very angry Ian, but amused Carmen standing in the foyer. Since neither of them noticed me I just stood there, seeing where this would go.
"Yo, shut the fuck up" Ian semi-yelled.
Carmen let out a long laugh, before noticing me at the stairs
"Look there's Zen" she said pointing right to me. Ian's eyes followed her gesture and looked to me. He had a happy look in his eyes, as if it was his first time really seeing me.
He looked at me as if I was the only person in the room, and it in some way made me feel special. The way I hoped he thought of me. I slowly walked down the stairs meeting Carmen and Ian at the bottom.
"So... what were y'all talking about" I said with a little suspicion in my voice, I think I had a right to know. I mean if it weren't for me they wouldn't even know each other
"Nothing important" Carmen lied with a smirk threatening to come on her lips. I rolled my eyes and pulled Ian to my side. "You ready?"
Ian nodded and led me out the door. Neither of us said any goodbyes to Carmen as we walked to the car and got in.
Once we were in the car Ian started the engine and left Carmen's house.
"Where are we going?" I asked not able to hold in the curiosity anymore. Ian being Ian wouldn't tell me on the phone. Even though I pleaded and pleaded he refused over and over again. At this moment I just couldn't take it.
He let out a small laugh. "Why are you always so nosy, you can't just take a surprise?"
"Actually I can't" I said in a smart tone.
"Well we're going bowling"
"Bowling?" I repeated as if I didn't heard him before.
I haven't been bowling in I don't even know how long. The last time I remember was Tommy's fifth birthday, back when mama was alive. That was one of the best days we had spent together in a long time. Before Dawn and I had grown apart. I had never been the best at bowling, but I always had fun trying.
"Yeah, that cool?" he asked nervously.
"Yeah it should be fun."
"It won't be fun for you when you get your ass whooped" he said with a smirk on his face.
"Oh yeah, that's not going to happen" Even though I wasn't as good as I could be at bowling I was always up for a competition.
We both shared a laugh and soon after Ian pulled into the bowling ally parking lot. It wasn't as packed as I expected for it to be, but there were enough people. Ian as usual opened the door for me and led me to the entrance of the bowling alley.
When we walked in I could smell the strong stench of cheese dip and nachos from the nearby concession stand. I looked around taking in the atmosphere around me. The flat screens mounted on the walls play a heated football game and all the people seemed to be having a good time.
I followed Ian to the front desk. Ian paid for both of us and we took our shoes to the lane we were instructed to.
After only a while we were still on our first game, and it was ending. Just as Ian promised he was whooping my ass and I couldn't do any thing about it, but watch
"UHG, another strike?" I whined as he did a little victory dance walking towards me.
I glared at him and he let out a long laugh, as sexy as he was I was still mad, I mean he could have at least lightened up on me a little.
"Sorry Zen, but I play to win" he said as he continued laughing. I rolled my eyes as I went and took my place. I moved my hand back slow and then quickly threw the ball up only to see my third gutter in a row.
I pouted and looked at Ian who was laughing at my failure. I gave him a middle finger and went back over to have my other turn.
This time as I took my position I felt a pair of muscular arms wrap around mine guiding me. "Like this" Ian whispered in my ear. He moved me over to the arrows that were drawn on the floor still cradling me in his arms.
He slowly brought my arm back and told me to do the same with my leg. I brought it back up with a quicker pace and twisted my wrist as I released it. The ball went down the lane and hit ever pin in it's way earning me a spare.
"Yes!" I whispered in excitement. Ian them released his hold on me. Leaving me a little cold and disappointed.
"It's about time!" He said gesturing for me to high five him.
That ended the game and the score was his 190 to my 40. Even though I had lost terribly I still enjoyed myself.
"You hungry?" He asked leading the way to the counter to turn in our shoes then to the concession. I nodded my head. Ian chuckled a bit because he already knew the answer. We found a seat and Ian got up to get some food.
"What do you want?" He asked before leaving me at the table. I shrugged letting him know that anything would be fine.
I watched him disappear to the line of people. I looked over the table noticing that he had left his phone, which is something he rarely did.
I stared down at it debating if I should pick it up or not. It was so tempting just sitting there. I knew if I went through it I would probably find something I didn't want to see that was none if my business, but at the same time I was still trying to figure out who that girl was on the phone.
Going with my first instinct I grabbed the phone and opened it coming to a password.
Password, password, password.
It wasn't a four number password either. It was unfortunately a word password.
I tried his birthday first, January 27th
Wrong.
I tried his favorite basketball team next, because what boy wouldn't make it that right? I quickly typed in Miami Heat.
Wrong.
Damn! This could not be that hard could it? I kept trying. Failing ever time. I went through his first name, last name, middle name, mama's birthday, daddy's birthday, favorite food, address, his old dogs name, and almost every rapper, model, and singer he liked.
I was just glad he didn't have the lock on or else I would've been locked out a long time ago. I put the phone down in defeat and looked over to the line to see Ian in the front of it.
I picked up the phone one more time trying one last thing knowing it wouldn't bring me to success.
My name.
Surprisingly it opened, I smiled at the fact that my name was his password. He actually liked me.
Just because of that I didn't even have the urge to go through his phone now. That was just too messy anyway. I quickly put the phone back in place and looked over to see that Ian was getting a few napkins and making his way back to our table.
He set down a tray with a ten piece wing and fries and two drinks in the center of the table. I smiled at him and started to dig in instantly. I haven't eaten since breakfast and I just couldn't take it anymore.
"Slow down Zen it isn't going anywhere, and save some to me" he said with a chuckle.
"Shut up, I'm not even eating that fast, and I'm hungry."
"I see"
I stuck my tongue out at him. This was fun, but it was time to get serious. Even though we were on a date, I was still worried about Ian and there was something that I've been holding on to for long. I had to ask him it was a must.
"Ian do you have a drinking problem." I asked straight out. I didn't have time to beat around the bush or shit like that. I needed to know. Ian looked down at his hands then ate some fries obviously trying to avoid the question.
"I'm serious." I whisper-yelled
He shrugged as if it didn't matter. He was really pissing me off. Here I was trying to help him and he was just ignoring me. I promise, I have no patience for people.
"Zen, it doesn't matter so lets just forget about it damn okay?" he seemed annoyed, but I didn't really care I was going to keep picking at it until I knew something.
"Yes it does matter, and no I'm not going to forget it so can you just tell me?"
"I don't have a drinking problem. I just drink when I need to."
Bullshit.
"So in the middle of the day, when you're driving me home is when you need to?" I asked being sarcastic. I had forgiven Ian for that but I would never forget.
"Okay didn't we come on this date to forget about that and move on? I understand you're worried, but really Zen if I wanted you to know I would've told you" His voice was stern, and mean.
"Well when it's a life or death situation like that, I need to fucking know!" I said back.
He let out a heavy sigh. I know I might be being hard on him, but this has been eating me up for days.
"Listen Zen, this is nothing we need to talk about here, it's more personal than that."
"Ian just tell me, you don't have to go in depth I just want to know. I want to be here for you" I grabbed his hand from across the table and gave it a light squeeze.
He built up a bit of encouragement and then begin to speak. "I don't know Zen, I just fuck up all the time, I fuck up and I don't know how to undo the shit that I do so I drink. It relaxes me. When I'm stressed I drink, sad I drink, angry I drink. It's just a reliever for me. A bad habit that I've been trying to break. Something I'm not proud of just like a whole bunch of other shit"
I nodded as he spoke taking in every word he said. It left me speechless I didn't really know how to respond to that, I mean it was understandable.
"Ian, I'm here for you. You don't have to drink." I said in a low voice. He winced at my words and had guilt in his eyes and all over his facial expression. It was something I hadn't seen before.
He shook his head and returned to his normal self. "W-we should go." He stuttered. He helped me from my seat and then grabbed our food that wasn't done. He grabbed a to-go box from the front and we left"
As we got in the car we didn't say a word the entire ride. The radio wasn't even on and it was just an awkward silence and it was horrible. It was all my fault. I just couldn't leave the past in the past. I had to know things, I had to have closure.
When we reached my house Ian killed the engine and turned to face me.
"I'm sorry for that night Zen I never meant for it to get as out of hand as it did. I just don't know what happened."
I gave him a forced smile. "It's okay Ian. Just know that you have me. You don't need drinking. I said honestly. He nodded and got out of the car to walk me to my doorstep.
"Thank you for tonight Ian, it was fun" I said trying to lighten up the mood. Without any words Ian leaned in and kissed me. A kiss that meant a thousand words. A kiss that made me forget everything.
A perfect kiss to end the night.
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