AssalamoAlaikum,
How life is, lovelies?
THIS UPDATE TOOK AGES I KNOW AND COMPENSATION STRATEGY SAYS TO GIVE DOUBLE UPDATES THIS WEEK. Fine?
The story has three to four chapters remaining now and I feel awful these days.
Nevertheless, I will update another in this week, if Allah wills, and then will take a sound break for exams.
Thank you so much for all your votes and comments. I feel so bad when I do not update but receive bunches of them.
Take care.
Until next update,
Allah Hafiz.
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If there had been any days without her in his life, he was living!
If there had been any morning without her sleepy smile and struggle to hide her face in the crook of his neck, faint beams of that dawn were bathing him.
If there had been any father of an unborn child mourning over his life and suppressing the bud of immense pleasure deliberately, he was the one.
If there had been any moment when her eyes did not see his shivering eyelashes as the first thing after his sleep, the needles had ticked.
She was gaining consciousness. Blurred images, confused yellow stripes on carpeted road, the realization of a man with two women lowered on her face, a loud collision and she had opened her eyes; fear of being left all alone without him was evident on her face. Exhaustively dropping those red heavy eyelids again she hummed meaningless nothings and doctors rushed to pacify her drowsy state.
...
Your diamonds left my neck,
Your melodies discarded my words.
Your arms abandoned my shoulders,
Your coffee purged vanilla.
And I hated white.
And I hated,
Words,
Fake gloss,
Rains,
Twilight,
Moonlight,
Poppies,
And myself.
For no reason!
For no reason!
For no reason!
...
"Foolish heart does not know how to stop loving you." He released a frustrated chuckle and his eyes wandered around her feeble physique. The pinkness under her skin had been replaced by the yellow of sad, mustard of grief and blue of panic.
"The world may say that you are at peace now, Sataish, but ask me. All that I can see is pain, restlessness and ache." Torturing his lips he thought. The doctors had informed him about her condition and he had started to fear the moment where he was to appear before her; where her eyes would scan his face and he would yearn to dive deeper in the well of shame, not looking back, no new days, and no future plans.
But there was something that he had to do. He had to risk his decisions for the painful and troublesome days she was starting to go through. He had embraced this fact the very moment when doctor told him that he was soon going to get a piece of his heart in his arms. He was afraid. He had been afraid through his life but the fear on the other side was more evident without been discussed. He never talked to her since the news reached his ears but he knew that his fragile wife badly needed him in this phase of their lives; happily or sadly, pretentiously or wholeheartedly.
The doctor had mentioned him to take her care in emotional ways as she had tolerated the heaviest impact on brain and he had smiled tiredly. He had smiled to confess that he was a failure or maybe as the first celebration to become father. It was ground reality that from the core of his heart Irtiza Hashim was the happiest man alive but he was afraid to admit that he was. He was scared that her affinity would dissolve his decisions in the air and he would never get them back. He would live with her for years to come and would never look back.
This occasion had approached them in strangest of the situations otherwise he would have acted all different and this 'different' would have meant life to her. Her ears would have sensed him saying with a playful smirk twitching his lips,
"You will make very good mother to my kids. Probably I have laid my eyes upon you only."
to which she would have replied,
"My children will get your upbringing and subtle jokes and spontaneous personality, the reason I have laid my eyes upon you only."
Nevertheless, he had decided to support her.
He had decided to lock his sufferings in his heart, to never let her see their grey shadows hovering over her happy times. He would share her pains, to the most of his capacity, and the secret vault of his heart would suppress his desires to spend time with her. He would endure her midnight cravings, her sleepless months, her agitated attitude but the real and afraid Irtiza Hashim will never let her reach the level of his madness.
Closing his fatigued eyes Irtiza had decided to tell doctor about his plans by the time; the plans of not breaking this news to Sataish.
He wanted to see the colours on her face spreading, for the last time!
...
"You will never know how miserable you have made me." Tracing soft meaningless pattern on her palm he said.
"It was hard, very hard, to actually count every moment passing and taking its toll on each inch of my body." A lone tear slipped from his irritating eyelashes and he sighed.
It took him a moment to compose himself as he said lowly with authority in his voice,
"Open your eyes, Sataish. I am exhausted."
The news channels reported the increase in country's economic growth, better exports and less imports when she trembled a little.
Craziness sparkled in his eyes after a day that meant gazillion years and he laughed. It seemed as if the thick clouds parted finally and a weak bud of hope absorbed pale sunlight!
Her heavy eyes tried to locate the surroundings and he bent on her forehead.
Solace swam through her body.
She had the ability to recognize him in the crowd of millions.
And she did.
And the blurred images started clearing.
And she lost her patience.
"I will never drive alone again. We will die together." She hysterically said while getting up and, without caring about the pain of needle in her nerve, hugged him.
The transparent string with suffocated bubbles of fluid wrapped them together and he released a loud excited chuckle amidst the tears in his eyes. Reciprocating her gesture he placed her on the bed and her tensed expressions due to immense pain relaxed.
"Okay, here goes our first swearing to live and die together. We have qualified as a couple." He said in his husky voice as his fingers combed her hair and she closed her eyes.
Minutes later when he was dozing off on attendant's couch she whispered, "Irtiza?"
Immediately recovering from the short nap he closed her file and responded, "Yeah?"
"Do not leave me ever."
The temperature of the private room dropped suddenly and he decided to freeze his plans in the spur of moment.
"Sleep, Sataish."
...
"Why do not you just go and refresh yourself before I start believing that you are not the one I know?" She said while he inserted another slice of juicy apple in her mouth and she reluctantly agreed.
"I am super fine, Sataish. And yes, I will go after you eat it completely." She saw him cutting perfect slices mechanically.
"You look tired."
"Yeah."
She caught his hand and pressed gently. Her eyes roamed against his stern features and she sighed. Maintaining her composure was difficult but his worries and stress had never been good for her too.
"Everything that happened was fated, Irtiza. You are nowhere in this whole episode." His hand was still in her weak grip.
"Sataish, this heart has finally synchronized with this brain. Both say yes to this punishment." He said in a barely audible voice.
"This heart has gentleness of the whole universe and this brain has got the intellect that is enough for me to not mislead my ways with you. And when these both organs have synchronized then I am fortunate to have my insane husband. Have some sense. I do not know what I am saying but for Allah's sake remove this sad mask away. I do not at all like it. Irtiza, please?"
She whined and he finally surrendered. Plastering a small smile on his face he looked in her eyes and she giggled.
"All these tricks work on you so fast."
"Poor me. I thought if it was real." He rested his aching back against the backrest and crossed arms on chest.
"Oh! By the way it was real but faking it has its own charm, its own uniqueness." She replied resolutely and he realized that she was one important element of his life. His arm found her shoulders and she located her consolation in the security of her husband. Resting her head firmly on his chest she lifted her eyes and caught him staring in hers again.
"I am going to check house. Tell me what do you want from there?" His thumb caressed her arm and she closed her eyes in a thoughtful manner.
"You."
He laughed and said it was obvious that he would come.
"Wearing an easy shalwar qameez. This time white."
His eyebrows left their spot and he exhaled a heavy breathe.
"Anything else?"
"No wristwatch today. I want you to see the world without the realization of passing time. I know it is lame. Nevermind."
"Okay. No handcuffs. Fine." He agreed.
"Moreover, let not your hair be made. Free yourself from the formalities. No one would judge you. Even I would not; what else you want from life?"
"Sataish, are you telling me how to come to hospital again or releasing your commandments for a hostel party of lame boys?"
"Ignored. Then there is a must thing. Your cologne."
"Wifey, my all accessories have ended already. Alhamdulillah (all thanks to Allah) as you did not mention the body washes and toothpastes and shampoos and-."
"Irtiza, can you please hear me for now? I know that you are very keen when it comes to talking but how bad listener you are! God knows who has made you a good psychiatrist!"
"Well, my personal finances have been declaring an upward curve since the day when your heels tapped the floor of my office."
"Whatever. Oh! What did you just say?"
He nodded in grief and a shy smile broke the union of her lips in astonishment. She inhaled noticeably and confessed,
"Irtiza, I only need you in my life."
She smiled softly and kissed his knuckles tenderly. The relaxed inferno blazed again but he soothed the pain and kissed her messy tangled hair.
"Say this faint raspberry scent of my hair drives you crazy." His ears denied in believing what they heard and he laughed wholeheartedly.
"You even remember it today." His exclaimed tone tickled her and she closed her eyes.
"I remember everything that you have said. You once said that I resemble lava cake when I do more contouring than required."
"Okay, do not please make me feel humiliated now. It was one beautiful compliment." He stopped his breathy chuckle with difficulty and she asked him,
"I suspect if you have plans to leave this shirt home today."
"Admit that you do not want me to go."
"I do not want you to go but for the sake of my another million wishes you have to go."
He released her and gathered his phone from the working table beside her bed. Pulled her cheeks lightly without causing her pain and bade farewell.
Half closing the door from outside, he again opened it and declared,
"This faint raspberry scent of your hair blended with antiseptics and analgesics makes me crazy, sugarcube."
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You have to wait for a few more days.