The Outsiders
Warnings- I mention Soda dying in Vietnam. A lot of people are getting emotional, so please read with caution!! |-/
Note- Johnny and Dally already died in this one.
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The old house loomed in front of the old man. It was a lot more decrepit than the last time he had laid eyes on it. It's once white sides were now grey and vines were traveling up them. The roof had light marks on it that reminded him of soft spots. That was probably what they were: leaks and soft spots. The fence that used to surround the place wasn't there anymore and the yard's grass was around two feet tall. The man's eyes got misty. Why did it look like that? It had so much love so many years ago.
"Grandpa? What is that place?" The man looked over at his great granddaughter. She was watching him carefully and holding his hand. She gave him a look that said very politely that she wanted to leave. It was early in the morning and he had woken her up for a road-trip. The man patted her hand and started to walk across the road with her. They had been standing across the street from the house. His family member helped him walk. He'd had shaky knees ever since he turned eighty about seven years previous.
"I used to live here. This was my home." His voice was shaky as he spoke. She looked like she was very interested now. She'd never even seen pictures of the house before. It was amazing to see it in the flesh and know where it was. It was a key to her grandpa's past and she'd love to know everything.
"We called it 'The Curtis House', because, well, it was." He chuckled, but spoke softly and slowly. His worn silvery green eyes roamed around the outside. A breeze blew the white tufts of his hair around. "I lived in there with my two older brothers, Soda and Darry. Our parents died when I was your age, fourteen, so I grew up with my brothers."
Ponyboy and his great granddaughter, Jodie, walked through the tall grass and maneuvered their way to the porch. The cane clutched in his right hand didn't help very much, so Jodie was really what was holding him up. Still, they walked.
Ponyboy dropped his cane in the tall grass as he reached toward the splintered steps' banister. It felt rickety and a rush of dread washed through the old man. The house should never have looked like this. He'd always swore to take care of it. He vaguely remembered everything he and his brothers would do to make sure the house stayed neat and taken care of. How had he let it get this way? Why was it abandoned?
"You've never said anything about having brothers! How come?" Jodie asked softly. Pony's eyes softened and he felt a shudder come from inside. He struggled for the words to answer her. They walked up the steps slowly and tried to reach the porch's flat surface. It didn't look flat anymore, however. It was more sagging and warped than anything. They cautiously walked to the front door.
"I'd forgotten anything about them. Why mention something you can't explain?" Pony asked with a sad smile. He'd known their names and he vaguely recalled what they looked like. It was shameful to say that. Pony's memory about his life had started disappearing years and years before. He'd always felt the presence of the memories, but they were covered in a mirage and he could never recall anything anymore. It felt horrible and like things were constantly pulling on his brain. Sometimes he would hear sentences and he could remember something that had to do with his brothers, but he would always forget seconds after remembering. It was a horrible thing, but he learned to live with that.
"Oh... Dad said you had memory issues. That's alright, Grandpa." Jodie smiled sweetly at him. He waved her off and stared at the front door. The screen door wasn't there, but was laying on the porch. The wooden door was the only thing that seemed to be blocking Pony from his childhood. He raised his hand to grab the doorknob but stopped. He'd felt like this while looking at the door before. Stressed and guilty feelings swam in his stomach and mind. Yeah, this was familiar.
Jodie's hand eased over her grandpa's and she gently moved their hands to the doorknob. Maybe it wouldn't open, but something told Pony that it would. The cold brass doorknob turned and Pony pushed the door open. The crisp, stale air from inside met the chilly Oklahoma breeze and Jodie shivered for a second. The house didn't look anything like she'd expected, and by the look on Ponyboy's face, he didn't either.
"It still has furniture and pictures?" Jodie asked. Ponyboy walked into the house first, making sure nothing would jump out at them. His eyes glanced at the arm chair underneath a lamp. He saw the couch nearby and he looked back at the arm chair.
"Where the heck have you been? Do you know what time it is?" Darry stood up and tossed down the newspaper he had been holding. He was angrier than Pony had ever seen him. Pony shook his head wordlessly.
Ponyboy shut his eyes quickly and opened them again. The scene was gone, but Pony could still hear the words like they had just been bellowed out at him. It was a memory. Pony was confused as it faded away. Then, it was like he couldn't remember why he was breathing hard and staring at an arm chair. He continued walking into the house.
The floor creaked and the dust on the floor seemed to fidget when they walked. Ponyboy pulled Jodie along to the picture frames on the walls. They were covered in layers of dust and were hanging askew on the wall. The walls had great big cracks running across them. Pony's wrinkled and shaking hand reached up and grabbed a picture frame off the wall. The nail that had been holding it up, took that as its chance to fall out of the wall. It bounced off Pony's shoe and clattered to the floor.
Jodie pulled her sleeve into her fist and wiped off the glass part of the picture. It showed three young boys in it. They were all handsome and looked different, yet similar. The most handsome of the three had dark gold hair that was combed back- long, silky, and straight. He had beautiful dark brown eyes and a sensitive looking face.
The next boy looked muscular and athletic. He had dark hair that kicked out in the front and little tufts were sticking up in the back; a cowlick. He had pale blue-green eyes that looked strong and determined. He was the only one who wasn't smiling in the photo. He still looked happy, though.
The last boy of the three was clearly the youngest. He had light brown, almost red hair that was long in the front and sides, but looked a bit weird in the back. He had silvery green eyes and a handsome smile. He was a doll. Ponyboy's lips twitched into a small smile.
"That's me and my brothers. Soda, Darry, and I'm the awkward looking one." Jodie watched her grandpa point to each person individually. He placed the photo on the nearby table. He grabbed another one. It had the same three boys, but there were a couple more people in the picture this time.
The first boy had thick, greasy hair that was combed back in complex looking swirls and he had a sideways smile. His arm was across Soda's shoulders and they were smiling at each other. Soda had a goofy grin and it was clearly contagious. They looked like they were best friends.
The second boy had light brown colored hair and impressive sideburns. He had a wide grin and was obviously laughing whenever the picture was taken. His hand was resting on Darry and Pony's shoulders. His eyes were squeezed shut do to the laughter. He caused a smile to break across Pony's face as he looked at the picture.
The third boy was standing next to Ponyboy. He had dark, shaggy hair that hungover his forehead and in his black eyes. He wasn't smiling, but he too looked happy to be there. His face was dark and tanned, but there was one part that wasn't. He had a long scar that ran from his temple to his cheek, right beside his eye. It was a lighter color than his skin. Him and Pony looked the same age and height.
The last boy had long, fluffy, blond hair that was almost white. He had blazing blue eyes. The kid had an elfish face, with high cheekbones and a pointed chin, and ears like a lynx. He looked meaner than the rest of them. Maybe he was, or maybe he was as sweet as Ponyboy.
"That's the gang. The other boys are Steve, Two-Bit, Johnny, and Dallas. They were our best friends..." Pony's wrinkled and shaking hand caressed the glass of the picture frame. He'd forgotten about his friends. He was surprised to remember their names. He couldn't remember their last names though, which wasn't surprising.
"They look cool, Grandpa. Was Steve Soda's best friend?" Jodie asked. Pony nodded and she smiled. He placed the picture frame on the table with the other one.
"Let's look at the rooms, Jodie." Pony grasped her hand again and led her to the farthest room. He pushed the door open and saw the faded gold comforter on the king sized bed. It was Mr. and Mrs. Curtis' room. They had pictures in there too, but Pony couldn't bring himself to step over the threshold and into their room. It was his parent's room and it felt weird to be looking into it. He couldn't remember the last time he set foot in there. Pony pulled the door shut again and walked toward the next room.
Jodie opened the door and they walked into the bedroom. It was a plain room with checkered blankets on the bed and a desk in front of the window. The desk had trophies on it and some text-books. The bed had a ton of boxes sticking out from underneath it. A calendar was hanging above the bed. The year on it was 1973 and the month was open to November. It was Darry's room. Jodie and Pony walked around it for a moment before moving to the next one.
This room was blank. It didn't have sheets on the bed, a desk in it, or even boxes sticking out from underneath the bed. It did have some stuff laying on the bare mattress, however. The objects on the bed were letters. Jodie picked them up and looked over at her grandpa. It had been Soda's room before he moved in with Pony. Pony tried to remember why they shared a room, but he was out of luck.
"Can I read them aloud, Grandpa?" She asked. Pony sat down on the mattress and nodded for her to begin. She flipped the first letter over in her hands. It had 'return' stamped in bold letters across the addressed person. "It says it's to a girl called Sandy from Sodapop Curtis. It's been returned, unopened."
"Let's not read that one. What's the other one?" Pony's worn out voice asked. Jodie flipped to the other envelope. It was a blank envelope with things stuffed inside it. Jodie pulled a telegram out of the envelope. Her features softened. Pony asked her what it was.
"It's a telegram..." Jodie tried to put it back into the envelope, but Pony stopped her.
"Read it to me, please." His eyes were misty again, but Jodie obliged. She squinted at the pink tinted paper. The wording had faded over the years since it was sent. "'The secretary of the army has asked me to express his deepest regret that your brother, specialist five Sodapop P. Curtis, died in Vietnam on October 8, 1973, from explosion of a hostile mine. His body cannot be recovered. Witnesses have identified him. Please accept my deepest sympathies.' "
Pony sat on the bare mattress while he stared at the wall. He'd forgotten why he'd left the house, his friends, and his only living relative. He'd forgotten that Sodapop hadn't died by natural causes. He'd forgotten how he felt the first time he read the telegram that was sent to the house instead of his beloved brother. A horrible realization stuck him. October 8 was Soda's birthday...
"Grandpa, maybe we should leave now." Jodie spoke softly. Pony shivered and shook his head before he spoke. "I want to see the rest of the house."
Jodie helped him stand up and they walked to the last room. It was his and Soda's shared room. There was a desk beside the bed and the bed had the same checked comforter as Darry's. The desk was a bit different, as it was covered in books and boxes were at the foot of the bed. The boxes were filled with books, too.
"Woah! Look at all the books!" Jodie exclaimed and rushed over to them. There were probably a hundred books in the room. Pony shuffled over and pulled some out of the boxes. Catcher In The Rye, Lord Of The Rings, The Carpetbaggers, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, Lord Of The Flies, and Gone With The Wind were a few of the books that Pony pulled out of the box. He grabbed for Gone With The Wind and clutched it in his hands for a moment.
He felt like he should know something about the book, or at least feel something. He'd seen the movie once before when he was younger. Yeah, that's what it was. He'd always wanted the book, too. Maybe he'd just forgotten about it. Pony tossed it to the side and watched Jodie go through the boxes of books.
"Hey, Grandpa? Your full name is Ponyboy, right?" Jodie asked. Pony said yes and she waved a large packet in the air. It was notebook paper held together with a staple in the upper left corner of it. He squinted at it. The ink from a pen was prominent on it.
"It's titled 'The Outsiders'. Your name is on the front of it with a 100% for a grade." Jodie pushed it into his hands. Pony looked at it for a second. He saw the first sentence on the front page. Something in his brain switched on and he knew he needed to read it. He looked up at Jodie and handed it back to her.
"You're going to read that to me, okay?" Pony asked her. She nodded and he stood up. She helped him walk to the living room. Pony sat down on the couch and Jodie sat in the arm chair. There was enough light flooding through the gritty windows and the opened front door that Jodie could see to read.
Ponyboy sat with his hands by his sides and a focused look on his face. He was waiting for Jodie to begin to read. He had a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach. He tried to ignore it as the feeling he forgot something rang in his head. Maybe that would be fixed soon. Especially now that he was in his old house. Jodie cleared her throat and began to read.
"'When I stepped into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the movie house, I had only two things on my mind: Paul Newman and a ride home.'" The words hit Pony with a force he'd never felt before. Old feelings and a sensation of falling slammed into him. He started to recall everything he'd forgotten as Jodie kept reading the story. They sat for hours as the words drifted off the page and created the most heart-wrenching and truly amazing story that had ever unfolded before them. Pony's chest constricted as the unexpected part hit him. It was the part he'd forgotten, or made himself forget.
"'Stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold...'"Jodie read off the words and her voice cracked as she did. "'The pillow seemed to sink a little, and Johnny died. You read about people looking peacefully asleep when they're dead, but they don't. Johnny just looked dead. Like a candle with the flame gone. I tried to say something, but I couldn't make a sound.'"
A tear rolled down her face and dropped onto her hand as she read. She kept reading despite her tears. Pony felt his chest constrict and his heart speed up. How had he forgotten that? How had he forgotten that his best friend died? How could he forget spending a week in Windrixville with him? The story continued and got worse.
"'Dally raised the gun, and I thought: You blasted fool. They don't know you're only bluffing. And even as the policemen's guns spit fire into the night I knew that's what Dally wanted. He was jerked half around by the impact of the bullets, then slowly crumpled with a look of grim triumph on his face. He was dead before he hit the ground. But I knew that was what he wanted, even as the lot echoed with the cracks of shots, even as I begged silently- Please not him... not him and Johnny both- I knew he would be dead, because Dally Winston wanted to be dead and he always got what he wanted.'" Jodie quit reading and wiped her tears on the sleeve of her shirt.
Pony stayed quiet and waited for her to continue. He'd forgotten about Dallas dying, too. Jodie started reading again and Pony looked at the pictures on the wall. About ten minutes later, the story was over. Story. That's all Pony wished it was.
"You're a really good writer, Grandpa. I'm sorry..." Jodie drifted off. She was pretty shaken up. Her eyes were puffy and tears were still rolling down her face. Her fingers twiddled across the back page and she yanked it off. It was a page of different handwriting and it looked like it had been folded up at some point.
"Grandpa, this is Johnny's note to you. Do you want me to read it aloud?" Jodie's voice cracked as she held it up for him to see. She'd already read it once, because Pony had put it in his theme. It was different, though. It was different when it was the actual note Johnny had written. Pony nodded and she began to read it aloud.
"'Ponyboy, I asked the nurse to give you this book so you could finish it. The doctor came in a while ago but I knew anyway. I keep getting tireder and tireder. Listen, I don't mind dying now. It's worth it. It's worth saving those little kids. Their lives are worth more than mine, they have more to live for. Some of their parents came by to thank me and I know it was worth it. Tell Dally it's worth it. I'm going to miss you guys. I've been thinking about it, and that poem, that guy that wrote it, he meant you're gold when you're a kid, like green. When you're a kid everything's new, dawn. It's just when you get used to everything that it's day. Like the way you dig sunsets, Pony. That's gold. Keep that way, it's a good way to be. I want you to tell Dally to look at one. He'll probably think you're crazy, but ask for me. I don't think he's ever really seen a sunset. And don't be bugged over being a greaser. You still have a lot of time to make yourself be what you want. There's still lots of good in the world. Tell Dally. I don't think he knows. Your buddy, Johnny.' "
Pony let a tear slip down his face and his bottom lip quivered. He remembered. He remembered everything now. He remembered Soda's telegram arriving and everyone falling to pieces. Steve leaving for good, Two-Bit sobbing and drinking anything he could get a hold of, Darry falling apart and collapsing on the spot, and Pony himself leaving home. Everything there reminded him of Soda, Johnny, and Dallas. He ran away from his life and all the memories he'd made there. Pony pretended not to remember anything about his family and childhood until he didn't have to pretend anymore, because he really forgot. Now that he could remember it again, he felt horrible and guilty.
"It's okay, Grandpa. It's okay." Jodie tried to comfort him and muffle her own sob. Everything hurt. Pony in took breath and tried to wipe the tears away with his hand. He stood up and walked to the room he and Soda had shared. He grabbed 'Gone With The Wind' off the bed and walked back into the living room. His shaking hands gave the novel to his great-granddaughter. She took it immediately and opened to the first page. Ponyboy had never finished the book and he was about to. He was going to do it as an apology for forgetting everyone and everything. He was going to do it so the memory of this happening didn't die with him. He was going to do it to try and appease his guilt.
Most importantly: He was going to do it for Johnny.