It's true that I don't have a clue where we're going to eat. It's also true that my sister has been replaced by some alternate version of herself and I am being kidnapped.
Maybe this alternate version of Tori is also determined to make my life awful, and also force me to deal with my problems head-on, because she pulls her car into the Carter's driveway.
I look over at her to see if she's completely lost her marbles.
"What are we doing at Hannah's house?" I ask through gritted teeth.
"We're here for dinner," she says, looking me like I've lost my marbles. "Why? I thought you and Hannah-"
"You thought wrong," I snap and cross my arms over my chest like a five-year-old would after not getting her way.
"Mrs. Carter is already expecting us," Tori says as she fixes her dark red lipstick in the rear view mirror.
"I can walk home." I push the door open and slam it behind me before I begin walking down the driveway.
"Jessa," Tori calls after me, but then I hear another voice that's coming from the Carter's front door.
"Girls!" Hannah's mom exclaims in her usual excited voice. "Come in! Dinner is almost ready." With that, she disappears back inside and I am left with no choice but to pull on my big girl panties and deal with it.
*
When I get to the dinner table, all eyes are on me. Tyler gives me a wary smile, Hannah's dad smiles as if nothing happened between his daughter and me, and Hannah just looks surprised to see me.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume she hasn't told her parents about our argument. And that's weird, because Hannah usually tells her parents everything. They have that kind of safe relationship that I wish I had with my own mother.
I'm the last to sit, and the only place left is a seat between Hannah and her mom - most likely arranged by her mom. It's the place I used to always sit at when I came over for dinner, which wasn't that long ago, but it feels like years.
As we take our seats, I find that Tori is sitting diagonal from me, so I'm still able to give her dirty looks.
Tyler takes the head of the table opposite of his mom. I look between his anxious face and Hannah's worried one, then Tori's. Her face is contorted into a mask that's hiding something. It doesn't take long to figure out that some of us are out the loop.
"Dig in!" Mrs. Carter says, and we begin to pass the dishes around of amazingly smelling food.
It's awkward between Hannah and me as we pass the dishes to each other with polite smiles. I want so badly for this night to be over with.
"So school is going well, Tori?" Mr. Carter asks as he takes a large bite of steak. I stifle a laugh at him and he winks at me. He reminds me of my own dad.
Tori looks from Tyler, to me, and back to Mr. Carter before answering. "Yeah, it's going well."
I can tell she wants to add to it, maybe to make it sound more convincing than it did, but she doesn't. Instead she just shoves a piece of potato in her mouth.
"How about you, Jessa," Mrs. Carter adds. "We haven't seen you around here in a while. Hannah says things are getting busy as your senior year comes to an end."
I give her a nod and a sweet smile, ignoring the fact that Hannah lied. "It's been busy, yeah. Lots of prepping for college."
"Oh? What are you planning to be?"
Her questions catches me so off guard that I start to answer, but realize I can't and I choke on a green bean. After clearing my throat, I take a sip of water to buy myself some time.
I used to know exactly what I wanted to be in the future. Of course, it changed from an astronaut to a gymnast to a race car driver to... a zoo keeper. Yes, the zoo keeper was the most realistic.
But I don't know what I want to be. And thinking that I have to know before I graduate high school makes me want to hide in a forest somewhere. How am I supposed to know? I have a hard time picking what I want to eat for dessert.
"Um..." I trail off, searching my glass of water as if it's got the answers. "I've thought about being... a marine biologist. But I don't know if that's going to work out."
The lie makes Tori, Hannah, and even Tyler look at me and grin. They know me too well - even Tori knows I don't like the water.
"I didn't know that," Mrs. Carter says, surprised. "When did you decide that?"
I purse my lips and awkwardly rest my head on my hand so that I can't see the three faces to my left that are trying hard not to laugh.
"Well... today," I blurt and a giggle comes out with it. Hannah's parents laugh with me and so does the rest of the table. I guess you could say they were used to my hilarious idiocy.
"Impressive," Tyler chuckles. "You made a life decision in one day and it took me at least three years."
I find myself relaxing more and more as we continue to laugh. Even Hannah is laughing softly beside me.
"No, I actually have no idea what I'm going to do with the rest of my life." I grab my glass of water and raise it high in the air. "Cheers to indecisiveness."
Everyone raises their glasses to clang against mine easily.
"Ty," Hannah says after a quiet moment of everyone eating. "What are you going to be?"
Tyler takes a deep breath before giving Tori a look before she gives his hand a pat. That's when I start feeling uncomfortable again.
I don't take my eyes off Tori as starts talking.
"About that..." He begins. "I have something to tell you guys."
Everyone is now looking at him expectantly - worriedly. I glance between him and Tori, wondering if this is the reason she's here tonight. Why couldn't she tell me this? Especially when she was going on a rant about being there for each other.
"I'm joining the military," Tyler finally announces. "And boot camp starts in a few weeks."
"What?" Hannah and her mom say at the same time. They ignore that and Mrs. Carter continues.
"When did you make this decision? What about college? What have you been doing this whole time-"
Mr. Carter rests his hand on his wife's as if to calm her. "Let him finish," he says calmly.
Tyler gives his dad a look of thanks before continuing. "College just wasn't for me. I was failing a couple classes because I just... I didn't want to be there. I dropped out before this semester started. And I promise I'm going to pay back every penny."
I sneakily look over at Hannah to see her sinking into her chair as she stares up at her big brother. I can see the look of concern in her eyes - the look she often gets for everyone. My best friend - the girl whose heart is too big for her own good.
She pushes the chair back and grabs the edges of the table.
This is what Hannah does: she thinks too far ahead. She closes her eyes and I know that she's praying. I wish I could do that as easily as she does.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Hannah asks once she opens her eyes. The hurt in her voice cracks me. I look down at my plate and awkwardly play with the leftover pieces of steak and potatoes.
"I knew you'd be upset, Han," Tyler explains. "I didn't know how to tell you guys."
I can see the tears forming in her eyes. She glances at me before wiping at her eyes hastily.
"I'm proud of you, Tyler," Mr. Carter says amidst all the confusion. "You made this decision on your own. And I want you to know that I'm proud of you, no matter what."
Tyler looks as if he's can't decide between laughing or crying, so he sits there, his back straight and a crooked grin making it's way onto his face.
"Thanks, Dad." Tyler looks over at his mom. "Mom?"
She looks up from her empty stare and smiles at her son. She tries to make it look convincing, but I can tell she's barely holding it together.
"Come here." She waves him over, her voice breaking but no tears or cries breaking through. Tyler slowly makes his way over to his mom and she wraps her arms around him tightly. "I love you no matter what you decide to do. Just promise me you'll be careful. You have to come home to me - every time."
She can't see the uncertain look on his face since she's hugging him tightly, but he stills answers with an "of course".
Hannah shoves her chair back and it screeches against the hardwood floors. She dodges her mom and brother as she heads to her room in a hurry.
I glance at a more relaxed Tori before I push my chair back, ready to go after my best friend.
Mr. Carter stops me when he rests he rests his hand on my shoulder. "I'll get her." He gives me a lm easy smile before going after his daughter.
*
"Why didn't you tell me about you and Tyler?" I ask as soon as Tori starts driving towards home. We made sure to help Mrs. Carter clean up before we left - I decided to text Hannah later to see if she's okay. I'm so tired of fighting with her and I just want to be her rock for once, like she's always been for me.
"What are you talking about?" Tori stupidly asks.
I look at her, dumbfounded. "Seriously? Why else would you of all people want to come to dinner at my friend's house? Especially with that kind of announcement."
I run my hand through my hair as I think about the stressful conversation.
"I didn't want to tell you..."
"So you brought me to dinner with his whole family so that I could watch you two and read the situation myself?"
"Um..."
I give her a dead stare before clapping my hands together once. "Just spit it out!"
"I was scared to tell you," she finally says.
"What?" I stare at her. "I love Tyler. I think he's a great guy, and despite how weird it would be, I would get used to you guys dating."
"You think he's great," she states. "Which is exactly why I couldn't tell you."
"Why?" I ask her.
"I might ruin him, Jessa. All my selfishness and woke-up-on-the-wrong-side-of-the-bed-everyday-of-my-life-ness will rub off in him."
I stifle a laugh. "You could've just said meanness." She rolls her eyes at me. "Tori, you aren't so bad. Opposites attract, you know."
"Gee, thanks," she replies sarcastically. "I'm trying to become a better person. Tyler's been really great at helping me with that."
"He's helping you become a better person, huh?" I casually cross my arms over my chest and lean back into my seat.
"Yes, believe it or not." Tori suddenly reminds me of our mother.
"Tyler's just... Tyler." I look at her and smile. "Yeah, you guys are perfect." That brings a smile to her face. After a few moments of silence, I decide to break it. "He's the brother I never had. I can't believe he's actually leaving. And I can't imagine how Hannah feels - they're like best friends."
"I know," Tori agrees quietly. For a second I wonder how she feels about it all. Does she love him? What does it feel like to actually be in love, and then have that taken away with no one at fault?
I just let my head roll to the side so that I'm looking up at the sky and the way the moon illuminates the gray clouds.
"I'm sorry," Tori says as she grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze.
I never thought I'd be so thankful to have a sister like Tori.
__________
What did you think?! Are you surprised in any way? What are your thoughts on Tori and Tyler?
The picture is total foreshadowing... There is no song for this chapter because I couldn't find one, but if you know a good one let me know!