"Grayson!" Ethan called out to his favorite guy from across the street.
"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Grayson's hearty laugh shouted back as he ran across the street to join Ethan.
Ethan's mom was on a business trip for the next two weeks, so, for the first time, Grayson was going to Ethan's house.
Once they entered, Grayson was overcome with the smell of cinnamon and vanilla. The home was themed with cream, dark brown, black, and red. It was darker than Grayson's home, but he enjoyed it nonetheless.
"We can do whatever; watch movies, play video games, whatever." Ethan shrugged as he closed the door behind him and sheepishly put his hands in his pockets.
"Where's your room? I wanna put my stuff up really quick." Grayson lied. He really just wanted to see what all Ethan's room may consist of.
"Upstairs and it's on the very left." Ethan pointed and half smiled. Grayson nodded and ran up to his room. When he opened the door, the smell of mint hit is nose and even down to his throat. The walls were just cream with a large window on the opposite wall of the door. A white desk with a black lamp sat underneath the window. The bed resided on the left, with a dark gray comforter and a flannel blanket folded at the end. Posters were scattered across his walls: bands and musicians, things about astronomy, even a few of his own drawings, or at least Grayson assumed were his drawings. A small tv sat on his dresser on the wall opposite of the bed, and his closet was on the left hand side of the bed. There were black curtains on the window. It was also dark, but still very comforting to Grayson.
Snapping out of his thoughts, Grayson threw his backpack down on the floor and slid his shoes off, putting them in the corner with Ethan's shoes. He then walked over to a wall with drawings on it and admired them. The signatures on all of them had an 'E' at the beginning, signaling that they were indeed Ethan's. They were so interesting to him. One was of a sketch of a black bird with broken wings and the words 'like birds who's wings are broken, you live without direction.' Another was a man pulling off his face, which was truly a mask, to reveal horrible scars.
Ethan's artwork had such meaning behind it, and it intrigued Grayson to say the least.
"Grayson, you okay, bud?" Ethan asked, knocking on the doorframe. Grayson jerked himself around to his host and laughed meekly.
"I'm sorry, I was just uh... looking at your drawings." Grayson said with a nervous chuckle to hide the embarrassment.
"Ah, they really aren't that great." Ethan's cute laugh made Grayson smile.
"What are you saying? I love these! They're all so deep and meaningful." Grayson assured his friend. Ethan's cheeks turned red.
"You really think so?" He asked flatteringly, rubbing the back of his neck with a smirk.
"Of course." Grayson smirked back.
"Come here, I want to show you something." Ethan said after a few moments of silence and grabbed Grayson's hand, pulling him towards him.
"Where are we going?" Grayson asked.
"You'll see." Ethan's laugh constantly echoed in Grayson's mind as he pictured the beautiful smile that went along with it.
Unlike Grayson's home, Ethan's had a basement. And that's where Ethan took him. It was dark for a moment before Ethan switched on white Christmas lights that circled the entire basement. The walls were covered in various different paintings. Not canvases or paintings that were hung up, but actual murals. The dim glow of the lights shone on the paintings, making them have their own sort of glow. A black couch resided in the middle of the basement with a large tv on the wall in front. That entire wall was painted in a glow in the dark galaxy. Grayson found it breathtaking.
"Wow." Grayson spoke after awhile.
"This is my quiet space. And now it can be ours." Ethan smiled at his companion. Grayson smiled back and hugged Ethan's neck briefly before looking at the paintings in detail. Many shadowy faces and abstract humans. Flowers and roses. Animals of all sorts. Grayson's personal favorite, however, was the wall of the angel.
Large blue and shadowy human-like faces were on the left, red owls in the middle, and yellow flowers on the right. In the very middle was the back of a very large angel, caught in the middle. The male angel resembled Ethan almost uncannily.
"What's this represent?" Grayson asked, pointing to the large angel.
"That's the wall of the angel. The faces represent peer pressure. The owls are a bird of prey. And the flowers represent the good and beautiful things of the world. This is why it's the smallest portion of the background: because peer pressure and fear of the 'predators' around you take up your mind much more than the little things. The angel represents the one caught in the middle. The one having to make a choice. The one who feels pressured to make that choice." Ethan explained, pointing to the pictures as he spoke.
"The angel. Who is he?" Asked Grayson. Ethan merely shrugged. "And you painted... all of these?"
"Yeah. I guess this is why I'm always so distant from the world. I just want to create my art in peace." Ethan huffed, crossing his arms.
"This is all so beautiful. How do you do it?" Grayson was so curious about Ethan's art. He loved it almost as much as Ethan himself.
"Thanks, but I don't know. I've been drawing since I was really little. It's all I do nowadays."
"I love it." Grayson smiled, looking over at Ethan.
Grayson knew the story of the angel being someone unknown was a load of shit. He knew it was Ethan. He knew that was how Ethan felt.
"Ethan." Grayson spoke after what seemed like hours of silence. He loved saying Ethan's name. It rolled off of his tongue so easily.
"Yeah?"
"Is there anything you want to talk about? Because you know I'm here for you, right? I always will be. How else can I repay you after you've been here for me so often?" Grayson walked closer to Ethan.
"It's fine, Gray. I'm fine." Ethan responded.
"No, I don't think it is."
Their faces were inches away. They could feel each other's breaths on their faces.
Do it, Ethan. Just do it. Grow a dick. Be the man. Take control.
Ethan continuously thought to himself.
"Ethan. I want to know the truth." Grayson's stern face was now concerned and worried for his best friend.
"I told you the truth. I'm fine." Ethan growled.
Why aren't you doing it you pussy? Just kiss him!
"Sure, Eth. Whatever you say." Grayson was agitated. He wanted to know everything about Ethan. Why wouldn't he tell him? What could he be hiding? Grayson turned his face away from Ethan's, rubbing his chin.
What the fuck, Ethan? Why are you such a little bitch?
Ethan wanted to make Grayson his more than anything. He wanted everyone to know that Grayson was his and his alone. He didn't want anyone to take Grayson from him. But he just couldn't muster the courage to take action.
"I just want to know what's going on in your life is all. You know I care about you. A lot. I just want to help you get through it all. I'm sorry." Grayson's tone was sad. He just wanted the best for Ethan. He didn't mean to make him angry or hurt his feelings.
Ethan didn't like hurting Grayson's feelings. It tore him apart to hear or see Grayson upset, but sometimes being nice is just hard for Ethan. He hates sharing his feelings. His problems are way worse than Grayson could ever imagine. Ethan just wanted to spare Grayson's feelings. Being assertive, however, wasn't doing the trick.
"I don't want to hurt you, Gray." Ethan whispered. Grayson turned to Ethan, seeing, for the first time, a sad expression on his face. He ran to aid his friend's heart by grabbing his cheeks and rubbing them softly with his thumbs.
"Nothing you could ever say would hurt me,
Ethan."
Except maybe telling me you don't love me.
"I care about you a lot too, Grayson. More than anything. But telling you stuff as important as this would be really emotional for the both of us." Ethan grabbed one of Grayson's wrists and rested his cheek on it. Grayson pulled Ethan's face towards him and kissed his forehead, then hugging him tightly.
"I love you Ethan, and I'll do everything in my power to keep you as happy as I possibly can." Grayson whispered to Ethan as he ran his fingers through the smaller boy's hair.
He loves me?
"Look at me." Grayson grabbed Ethan's cheeks and leveled their heads to exchange gazes. "I promise." And within seconds, their lips locked together, moving perfectly in sync.
After breaking, Ethan furrowed his brows and pressed his nose and forehead on Grayson's, stroking his cheek with his thumb. Grayson continued running his fingers through Ethan's soft, chocolate hair.
"Do you want to watch a movie or something?" Ethan broke the silence between the two boys after a long while.
"Yeah. Yeah, of course." Grayson whispered, following Ethan to the couch in Ethan's special space.
As the two were huddled together on the couch, Grayson finally broke the long silence.
"Ethan." Grayson whined dramatically.
"What?" Ethan retorted.
"Do you love me?"
"I don't know, Gray." Ethan spoke in a low and rumbling tone.
He did know, but was he going to tell him that? No.
At least, not yet.
How could anyone possibly make me feel this way? Why does one guy have such a big impact on my life?
Ethan's mind was a mess. Never in his life did he think that he could ever fall for anyone. Especially his polar opposite.
-
A/N
This art depicted at the beginning of this chapter is how I would imagine the wall of the angel to look like, which I drew with oil pastels. I created the art to give a more visual representation of the description I was trying to convey.