— forty-four ;
"Jimin-hyung, open the door!" Jungkook bangs on the black-haired male's door. "Yoongi-hyung doesn't deserve you! You're a great person, Jimin-hyung!" Jungkook says to make him feel better, but he only hears a 'leave me alone' from the other. Jungkook sighs in defeat, turning away to Taehyung who has a bag of fries on his hands.
"Man, why does this give me so much dejavu?" he says, stuffing fries in his mouth.
Jungkook sighs again, rubbing his temples. "Right? Jimin fell in love with someone again and got his heart broken, twice."
Taehyung hums in agreement. "Who was the first person?"
"Jihyo-noona."
"Oh, that girl who he had a crush in for who knows how long only to find out she already has a boy friend and that lead him to depression?"
"Yeah." Jungkook says sadly. "And now he's depressed again."
"When did he confess again?"
"He never did."
"No, I mean the second person. When did hyung confess to the second person who broke his heart?"
Jungkook thinks deeply, trying to recall until it finally hits him. "Two months ago, that was two months ago I think. And you don't have to call Yoongi-hyung second person, that's rude." he half-scolds the older.
Taehyung scowls, finally finishing his fries as he licks his fingers clean.
"You really need to stop doing that." Jungkook says with a disgusted look.
"Why, does it turn your flippity flappy on?" Taehyung nudges Jungkook's side with a suggestive wink.
"What's- you know what, never mind." he shakes his head.
"And back to the topic, I'm only calling Yoongi-hyung second person because Jimin strictly told us to never mention his name again, right?" Taehyung reverts back to serious mode after fooling around.
"Well it sure doesn't matter now because I already heard you guys say his name a bunch of times today." Jimin suddenly appears in front of the door and he looks like a mess.
"You finally came out." Jungkook gasps with a slight smile when Taehyung suddenly bursts into laughter, causing Jungkook to glare at him before turning back to Jimin. "How are you feeling?"
"Fine." Jimin says softy, carding his messy hair. He earns a look of hesitance from the two males.
"You know you can tell us anything."
"No, I'm really fine now. Better, actually." Jimin truthfully states, even though he could still feel a little bit of heart ache. "After hearing you guys relentlessly trying to comfort me from outside my room, I actually felt good. Because at least I still have friends left and I'm not alone."
"Aww." both Jungkook and Taehyung coo in unison.
"And besides," Jimin sniffs as he takes a deep breath, rubbing his eyes softly. "I'm practically done with all these heart breaks. I'm done with it all. I'm done with love, dating, everything. I wanna move on."
"Woah, slow down, hyung." Jungkook chuckles, holding up both his hands.
"Yeah. Don't forget that you still have some explaining to do. For the past 2 months, all you made us do was worry about you. Even when you broke to us the news that you confessed to Yoongi-hyung on New Year's, you immediately shut us down and we got no words from you."
"Oh." Jimin could only utter out, feeling the two's intense stares. "I have no escape, do I?"
"Just like your chances with Yoongi-hyung before, none." Jungkook says, making Jimin sad again as he looks down. "S-Sorry, I didn't mean to."
"Fuck it." the eldest suddenly exclaims as he drags Taekook inside his bedroom, making them sit down. "So what do you wanna know? You can ask me anything now. I'll be honest."
"Well first of all," Taehyung suddenly stands up and shuts the door close. "the door should be closed because you never know who could barge right in and hear our conversation."
Jimin rolls his eyes. "No one's coming in, Tae."
"You never know!" Taehyung insists with an intent stare, to which Jimin just rolls his eyes to again.
"So any ways, can you tell us when exactly did you start liking Yoongi?" Jungkook asks, the only serious one here since he's genuinely interested
"Well-" Jimin starts, but he gets cut off by none other than Taehyung again who has already sat on the bed.
"No, Kook. More like when did he start feeling his inner gayness take over him." Taehyung tries to correct, only to earn a smack on the head from the youngest.
"I'm bi, Tae." Jimin points out.
"But you lean more into males now, right?" Taehyung raises a curious eyebrow.
Jimin shrugs. "Ever since Yoongi came in, yeah."
"Then that makes you gay."
Jimin opens his mouth to protest, but he decides against it. "Okay, whaever. I'm gay." Jungkook and Taehyung can't help but share a snicker. "What?"
"Nothing, we're just amused because you used to be so defensive about not being gay and now you're here, confessing to us straightly. Or should I say, gayly." Jungkook says with a sly smirk.
"I know." Jimin admits in defeat. "I can't believe me also. But I guess... I guess it came to me too late. I only realized recently that I do swing the other way."
"We're glad you finally realized though."
"What do you mean? Have you perhaps... already thought I wasn't straight?"
Both Jungkook and Taehyung nod their head.
Jimin's mouth opens in ajar, flabbergasted. "Why... why didn't you guys say anything?"
"You'd probably hate us if we did." Tae sheepishly shrugs.
"How did you notice any way?" Jimin can't help but ask in embarrassment. He can't believe they're having this talk about him right now.
"Hyung, your masculinity is beyond soft." Jungkook deadpans, laughing. "Everybody could see it. Even Yoongi--- I mean, you know who."
Jimin blushes, looking slightly down. "Oh."
"Yep, so now can you tell us when did you start becoming like this and since when have you started liking him?"
"Well," Jimin takes a deep breath and exhales. It's now or never. He trusts Tae and Jungkook any way, even though they could be such douches. "Eversince we went to that trip in Jeju. I became more close to hyung and being with him made me feel comfortable. He was usually with me and despite my rude behavior, he still put up with me. I really just adored that side of him."
Both Jungkook and Taehyung hum in understanding as Jimin continues on.
"I thought that I just admired him as a friend, but that time at the bar... during Christmas when he assisted me because I was a bit drunk."
"What happened?" Taehyung asks curiously as he scoots closer.
"We were all alone and.."
"Oh, shit." Jungkook gasps. "Did you guys do it??"
"No, you dumbass. Just let me finish." Jimin glares at him as he clears his throat. "Any ways, he lied me down on the couch and we just talked for a bit. He suddenly started touching my hair and I don't know- it just felt so soothing and-."
"Wait, hold up." Taehyung asks for a pause. "So you fell for him because he touched your hair?"
"Let him finish, hyung." Jungkook scolds and Taehyung just pouts.
"After a while, I started feeling drowsy and closed my eyes to get some sleep. But while I was doing that, I suddenly felt him move close to me and he just started whispering things. He confessed to me, about how he hasn't moved on yet and what not."
"Oh."
"I pretended to be asleep the whole time and was ready to open my eyes, but what he did next surprised and prevented me from doing so." Jimin licks his bottom lip and looks down to his fingers.
"Don't leave us hanging, hyung." Tae and Kool whine.
"He laughed, but I could tell the bitterness from his voice." Jimin sighs woefully. "Then he said he would forget his feelings for me and bury them, and I don't know, but I felt a pang in my chest when he said that." He breathes to catch his breath, clenching his sweat pants tightly.
"That's when you realized you liked him...?"
"I think it's more than like, Tae." Jimin looks at the latter with slightly glossy eyes. "I think.. I think I loved him."
Jungkook groans, his tongue poking from inside his mouth. "But it was too late for you." he concludes.
Jimin nods, placing both his hands on his face as he sighs again a tad loud. He lets his back fall on the bed. "I was too blind too. How could I have just realized it last Christmas? Why haven't I started realizing sooner when things were still fine? Why couldn't I confess when we went back to Seoul?"
Taehyung takes it as an instinct to place his hand on Jimin's arm, caressing it softly. "You shouldn't blame yourself, hyung. Sometimes, when you love someone it takes you a very long time to realize it. Besides, you're a guy who has only liked girls until Yoongi showed up. It was all new to you."
"But still, Tae-"
"Stop being so hard on yourself, Jiminie." He presses his arm a bit but not enough to hurt him. "If you do, I swear I'll ask Namjoon-hyung to break you and not in a sexual way."
Jimin grumbles, removing his hands from his face and looks over to the tan male. "Yoongi hates me now though. He probably thinks 'I've liked this kid for so long and he pushed me away. Now that I want to forget all those feelings, he says he loves me? Bullshit'."
Taehyung sighs pitifully. "Hyung, I'm sure he doesn't think that."
"How can you be so sure? I clearly saw the look in his eyes when I said those three words." Jimin says, about to tear up again. "He was... sad."
"You confessed too suddenly." Tae says, furrowing his eyebrow. "And he was sad because he liked you for so long and you only started feeling the same way and you couldn't even return it until it was too late."
Jimin looks down, shutting his eyes close. "Exactly."
It was at that moment when the other has just realized what he just said. "I didn't mean to-"
"No, you're right." the smaller states, turning away from him and from Jungkook who's been silent the whole discussion. "I guess it's true that you don't know what you have until you lose it. I lost him, guys."
___
___
thank you for 4k votes! what even-
me while writing this and the future chapters
also, i apologize for the major time skip. i just felt like the story is getting longer than it should be and i rlly just wanna finish this book, so pls forgive me and my unworthy ass. ;;