Luckily, Gerard had driven to Frank's (his poor leg would never have made the entire journey), and so, once Frank was re-dressed, and they managed to get Gerard back downstairs, they simply hopped in the car, and Gerard drove Frank to the venue.
It seemed like a good fix to the issue, but the younger man was still on edge.
Gerard sighed, taking his hand.
"You'll get there in plenty of time," he assured him, squeezing his fingers. Frank shrugged.
"I know. It's just...they're gonna know I'm with you," he said simply. Gerard glanced over.
"How so?"
"I'm late, and I turn up with you? That's going to sound really suspicious," Frank pointed out. The Priest shrugged, biting his lip.
"I don't know, sweetheart. But this is your only option. And hey-" he shrugged softly "maybe they'll be okay with it, y'know?"
Frank raised his eyebrows in genuine surprise.
"Be okay with me fucking a Priest?"
"We're not-"
"A Priest twice my age?"
"Frankie, we're-"
"A Priest I didn't tell them ab-"
"Frank. We're not fucking," Gerard snapped suddenly. The younger boy let out a soft noise of surprise as he turned to the older man. Gerard's jaw was set in a firm line as he glared through the windscreen, looking incredibly irritated.
Oh.
"S-sorry, I know we're not. I know you're...being pure and all. It was just a phrase," he murmured.
Gerard fell silent, looking a little defeated as he continued to drive.
Frank didn't bother making any conversation after that, knowing it would just get shut down anyway.
They pulled up to the venue with 10 minutes to spare, the lights inside already on. Gerard glanced over at Frank.
"There. Run," he said coldly. Frank touched his hand, wincing when it was pulled away.
"What did I do?" he asked. Gerard was quiet for a moment, before glancing over.
"We're not fucking , Frank,"
"I know, I didn't mean to-"
"No. We're not fucking. I'm your boyfriend. We're together. This is romantic, for me. It's not about sex. I don't know if I'll ever be able to fuck you. But I know that I can love you," he said.
It hit Frank all at once, the mistake that he'd made with his words. The younger man frowned and touched his hand.
"I love you. I don't care about the sex stuff, okay? I love you. You're my boyfriend," he said firmly.
Gerard smiled and nodded towards the venue.
"You should go, sweetheart. I'll pick you up tonight, and –"
He was cut off by Frank kissing him swiftly, holding his face in his hands. Gerard let out a soft, surprised noise, but kissed him back nonetheless, his eyes fluttering shut as he melted against his boyfriend's body. Frank tugged back after a moment, his eyes soft.
"Come in with me," he murmured. Gerard laughed.
"Darling, I'm too old for that," he smiled. Frank shrugged.
"Who cares, huh? I wanna show my boyfriend off," he giggled. Gerard ducked his head and grinned, clearly touched by his words.
Gerard hesitated for a moment, before nodding slowly, the smile plastered onto his cheeks.
"Yeah, okay. Uh. You'll have to grab my cane for me," he mumbled. Frank nodded and slid out of the car. In a flash, he grabbed Gerard's cane from the back, and moved around to the drivers' side to help him out. Gerard looked absolutely blissful as he held onto Frank's shoulder, allowing the younger man to guide him out.
He looked over and smiled.
"I love you," he murmured, taking the cane from Frank.
Frank, without a hint of reluctance, kissed him gently.
"And I you."
When he reached the back of the venue, his friends were already standing there ready to go on. Their bodies, though, didn't look excited, but very tense. Cooter's fists were clenched, Mia's hands were knotted in front of her, and even Damien shifted restlessly. The sound of Frank's footsteps (or, more accurately, the click of Gerard's cane) seemed to rouse them, and suddenly they were upon him.
"What the fuck, Frank?" Cooter began, charging towards him. He fell short, though, when he saw the Priest.
"Sorry, Father," he mumbled. His face crumpled in confusion a moment later.
"Why is he here?" he asked.
There was silence for a moment, as Gerard and Frank gazed at each other, trying to work out who was going to speak.
"Because they're fucking," Mia said sharply. Frank's head whipped around to her, his mouth falling open.
"Mia, what the fuck?"
"No, what the fuck to you. What the fuck, you're always ditching us for him. What the fuck, you haven't asked any of us how we're doing in months because of him. I could do it before, Frank, but not anymore," she snapped.
Frank felt his stomach tighten, his heart thrumming fast and hard in his chest, like it might force his ribs apart. He looked to Gerard for answers, but the other man just looked...small. His face burned red, his eyes dropping to the floor as his form shook.
He was clearly embarrassed – but even more than that, he was ashamed.
There was silence for a few moments.
"Is it true, Frank?" Cooter demanded, even his voice a little weak. Frank swallowed, but nodded.
"It's true," he whispered. He slid his hand into Gerard's. "We're together."
Another moment of silence followed – this time, it was broken by Damien.
"We have a show to play. Frank, are you with us?" he asked, his tone clipped. Frank looked up and nodded.
"Yes. I'm...I'm not going to let you guys down," he said firmly.
The look on everyone's face echoed the same thought : he already had let them down.
The show went as well as it could. They all knew the songs, and where to be on stage. The only thing missing was warmth. Each member was stiff and cold, and no one so much as glanced at Frank.
The post-show buzz that normally wrapped around them was dull, almost non-existent as they left the stage.
"You guys are still invited to my place if you want," Mia said as they packed away their gear.
Frank didn't have to ask to know that he wasn't invited, and no one made any move to include him. Once his guitar was in its bag, he slung it onto his shoulder and looked to his friends – none of whom tried to make eye contact with him.
"I'm sorry. I should have told you. But this is why I didn't," he said curtly.
When nobody replied, he let out a sigh and moved out of the room.
He was intending to look for Gerard, but realised there was no need when he felt a hand grab his arm.
He twirled around and let out a breath as he was met with the face of his boyfriend, who looked pitying, to say the least.
"That was uncomfortable to watch," the Priest chuckled, his eyes soft. Frank shrugged and smiled faintly, averting his eyes. Gerard cupped his cheek, turning his face to look at him. His eyes looked sad and solemn, like he was genuinely apologetic.
"I'm sorry for all this," he murmured. Frank shook his head.
"It's not you. You know it's not you. They need to understand-" he waved a hand, feeling his eyes begin to water. Gerard pulled him close, pressing his lips to his forehead with a gentle sigh, his fingers combing through the boy's hair.
They stood that for a few moments in silence, before Gerard pulled back slightly.
"It's still your birthday," he reminded him fondly. Frank sniffed and smiled weakly.
"I don't feel much like celebrating," he sighed. Gerard took his hand.
"Nonsense. Come with me," he murmured, tugging him forward as he began to make his way through the venue. Frank just watched with wide eyes as he was pulled through, until they reached a bathroom at the back.
It didn't take a genius to work out what Gerard was suggesting.
"Really, Gee?" Frank giggled. Gerard shrugged, tugging him into the toilet. It was one of those one-stall toilets, that locked on the main door, and it was absolutely filthy.
The seat was slightly off-hinge, the walls covered in stains, markers and ripped stickers.
It had a certain vibe to it, though, and that's what Gerard was looking for. He grinned as he locked the door, pushing Frank against the wall.
"I'm not a Priest tonight," he growled, kissing along his neck. Frank let out a sharp gasp
"N-no?"
"No. Not tonight. It's Halloween, baby, and I can be what I want. So tonight, I'm just your boyfriend. And you're going to fuck me," he murmured, biting his earlobe gently.
Frank let out a soft moan and held his back, rolling his hips up almost subconsciously.
"Yes. Yes, Gerard," he chanted, the panic and sadness flooding out of him, as lust and love filled his veins.
Gerard couldn't cure this. He couldn't take back what his friends had said, or the fact that it was absolutely true. But he could make Frank forget, and right now, that was what he needed. He needed to forget, until he could deal with the mess he'd made.
Gerard, of course, wasn't as cool as he felt. It'd been years since he'd had sex – he wasn't even sure if he could. All those years of promises and divinity, and he was about to give it away, here of all places, in a filthy bathroom, with a boyfriend whose life had just fallen apart. It was hardly ideal.
Still, although things weren't perfect, Gerard did love Frank, and he really did want him. That's what pushed him in the end.
Gerard pulled Frank into the stall with him and immediately kissed him hard, tugging him close. He was, admittedly, assuming Frank would begin gentle – but he was wrong. Frank immediately shoved him hard against the wall, growling into his ear.
"I've wanted this for so long," he whispered as he fumbled with his clothes, his breath hot against Gerard's ear.
Gerard grinned and melted against him, allowing him to undress him.
"Yeah, me too. Take it. Take me," Gerard whispered, grabbing his shoulders. Frank smiled and, without a moment's hesitation, pushed Gerard's boxers all the way down. He beamed at him, reaching forward to stroke him.
"You're hard,"
"I'm hard. I'm so hard," Gerard whimpered. He still seemed a little stiff, but he was relaxing, and seemed to be genuinely comfortable around Frank.
That, at least, was a good thing.
While Frank stroked his cock, occasionally kissing and nipping at his neck, Gerard began the task of undressing his boyfriend, undoing buttons and zippers, until he joined Gerard in being half naked, his boxers and jeans pooled around his ankles.
Frank grinned, stepping out of his clothes and smirking up at Gerard.
"You got any lube?" he asked, half-teasingly. Gerard just snorted.
"Yeah, I keep it with my bible," he retorted. Frank laughed and gently sucked two of his fingers into his own mouth, making eye contact with Gerard as he wetted them, making sure they were absolutely slick.
He knew from past experience that Gerard was very tight – even more so, because of how nervous he was.
"You wanna-" Frank mumbled around his fingers, gesturing to Gerard's leg. The older man shook his head, breath coming hard and fast.
"N-no. No time. C'mon," he murmured, pressing himself face-first against the wall.
Frank smiled in amusement as he approached him, pressing his fingers against his ass and rubbing gently. The Priest hummed in pleasure, immediately pushing back – but Frank hesitated.
"Are you sure this is gonna be enough? I don't want to hurt you,"
Immediately, Gerard nodded, his breath shaky.
"Just put it in," he gasped.
Frank hesitated for only a second before he gently and slowly slid his finger into Gerard, relishing in the soft gasp his boyfriend gave.
"How does that feel?" Frank whispered. Gerard chuckled.
"Ah, perfect," he said back.
In reality, it was a little painful, and more than a little uncomfortable, but Gerard knew it would ebb away to pleasure soon enough.
Besides, it was Frank, and that knowledge alone made it pleasurable.
The feeling of being filled again after all these years was strange to Gerard. It made his head swirl like it was in a time vortex, transporting him back to the days of his youth, where he used to hang around, underage and vulnerable, outside of bars, just begging men to take him in the alleys out back.
It was the only way he could get attention, back then. But this was different. Frank's hands were careful as he held his hips, fingertips dancing delicately over the jut of his hip bone, the other man's body rocking up with urgency, yet still gently enough to not hurt him. Gerard moaned, grabbing the wall as he tried to push his hips back, his lips parted and eager.
"oh, Frankie. Oh my – it's been years. It's been so long-
"I can tell, honey," Frank chuckled, leaning forward to press a loving kiss to his shoulder. Gerard smiled back at him, his teeth catching a little on his lip. Frank clearly appreciated the gesture, with the way his eyes widened.
"You look so good. Your ass is so good," Frank murmured, his voice dropping back to a husky purr. Gerard moaned, turning his head back around to face the wall.
"I love you so much, Frankie," Gerard whispered, reaching back to hold his hand. The Priest couldn't see it, but Frank's eyes softened, a gentle smile crossing his cheeks.
"I love you too, Gerard," he whispered, leaning forward.
As Gerard's body seemed to relax around Frank, the boy got more confident, his thrust becoming deeper and harder, his hips moving faster, until he was fucking him so hard and fast, he was surprise the other man could stand. Gerard groaned as he felt Frank pound into him, his thighs trembling at the force.
"yes, yes, yes," he cried. He pressed his hand over his mouth so no one else could hear him, but at this point, he barely cared. So what if it was wrong? Frank was making him feel better than any divinity ever had.
Gerard was getting older, and he was sick of being good. He needed this. He needed the deafening slap of skin on skin, the feeling of Frank's fingers in his hair, the sheen of sweat that made their bodies slide together. The feeling of burning pleasure in his stomach was more than he could handle. He knew he wouldn't last long.
Still, he wanted Frank to finish first.
The leg made things awkward; Gerard knew that. It was unsteady, making him occasionally feel like he'd fall over. Frank's arm was looped around his waist, supporting him, and he knew it couldn't be comfortable. There wasn't much else he could do, though. It was too late to take it off.
One thing was for sure – Gerard was going to have one hell of a rash when he was done with this. Not that he minded. If anything, a little skin abrasion and a sore ass was the perfect way to remind him of this.
Although, he doubted he'd be able to forget even if he wanted to.
Frank let out a shaking moan, his lips parting.
"Gerard, oh, I'm-"
"Yes. Yes, Frank. I need to feel it," Gerard whispered back. He felt his eyes burning, but he couldn't place the emotion in the haze of adrenaline and sex and sin. Frank made a weak noise, leaning forward and biting Gerard's shoulder as, with one hard pump, he was cumming, his scream muffled into Gerard's skin as he filled him up.
Gerard was so focused on Frank's orgasm, the way his cock throbbed in him, that he didn't notice his own, at first. It'd been years and, surprisingly, it wasn't that strong. It was a tightening of his stomach, a quiver of his thighs and a quick moment where his whole body felt on fire.
And then nothing.
Well; he thought it was nothing. What actually happened, upon his orgasm ebbing away, was that he began to cry. But he didn't notice that at first – his head was too busy and crowded with colours and explosions and Frank.
The younger boy noticed immediately though and, for a heart-stopping moment, thought he'd hurt the Priest. He pulled out swiftly, taking the sobbing man into his arms.
When the ringing in Gerard's ears cleared, and he was able to hear again, he made out the gentle hum of Frank's voice in his ear.
"-mean to. I just...oh, baby, please don't cry. I'm sorry. We don't have to do it again,"
Frank sounded very weak, his voice trembling with nerves and insecurity. Somehow, Gerard found it in himself to shake his head.
"I liked it," he whispered, grasping his hand. Frank looked surprised, then elated, and then concerned.
"Then why-"
Gerard swallowed hard, wiping his eyes. He was silent for a few moments, leaning back against the wall as tears continued to spill down his face. He looked younger when he cried, but the lines of age were still wrought through his skin. He waved a shaking hand.
"I liked it. I...I am wrong," he said slowly, as if working out the meaning of the words as he said them. Frank frowned, stroking his face.
"No. No, Gee, you're not wrong, you're-
"I have sinned. I've gone against everything I worked for, everything my brother died for...my whole life. It's...gone. I'm gone-
"Babe, please-
"I'm impure. I can...feel it. I can feel you inside me and it...it makes me sick," he whispered, face paling.
Frank recoiled, a hurt expression on his face.
"Gerard, stop," he whispered.
The Priest didn't stop, though. He couldn't.
"I'm g-going to burn. I am a liar and a hypocrite. I threw away my whole life for a...a cheap moment of sin. For temptation, for pleasure,"
"Gerard, don't,"
"I am dirty. I can never clean myself, I-" he spoke again, but it was indecipherable through his tears.
Frank just stared at him blankly, feeling his heart wrench in his chest. His friends had left him, and now Gerard would too. He had no one.
That wasn't the worst part, though. The very worst, was that it hadn't been the same for Gerard. Frank had been so full of love, and longing, and joy. He finally got to share his love and his passion with the man he adored. And now he watched as that same man repented for it, tortured himself. Frank was the one who felt filthy. He felt used and disgusting.
"Gee. Father. I'm going to leave now," he whispered, backing away from the sobbing man. Gerard looked up, his face one of pure anguish.
"Don't-"
"No. I'm going to leave now. And I'm not going to see you again. I'm sorry for this. I'm sorry for...ruining you. But mostly, I'm sorry that I ever loved you. Nothing good has come out of you and I," he said, very slowly. Gerard looked like he'd been slapped, his eyes wide.
"You're leaving me? Now?" he whispered, looking horrified. "I need you,"
"No. You need your God. You need your Church. You need prayer, and bibles, and the memory of dead brothers. The last thing you need is me," Frank said, moving backwards. Gerard scrambled to tug his pants up, heaving and trying to wipe his eyes as he did.
"I love you," he gasped. "I'm so scared, you can't-"
"If not for you, then for me. You've...you ruined everything. Being with you has been a curse. And I'm done. I'm sorry, and I love you, but I'm done," Frank whispered. Gerard's hand shakily reached out for his cane, fingers curling around the wood.
"Please, don't-"
"Goodnight, Father. You'll be forgiven by God. You're a good man. But I won't ever forgive you," Frank whispered.
He almost gave the Priest one final kiss before he left, but thought better of it, instead just turning on his heel and leaving the bathroom.
The venue was empty when he got out. Only a few people stood along the bar, and none were his band.
That was for the best. He couldn't do this now.
Frank's heart felt heavy with the weight of his grief and his loss as he trudged home, his eyes fixed on the floor.
His friends hated him, and the man he loved could never truly love him back.
But hey. At least he was an adult now.