Frank just stared up at him for a moment, his mouth dry. He licked his lips, batted his eyelashes, but still made no move to actually do anything. His heart was in his throat. He didn't know what the Hell he was supposed to do.
Gerard, however, didn't seem to be so struck. He grinned and leaned down to kiss him again, cupping his cheek.
"I've wanted this for so long," Gerard whispered, rocking his hips forward, burying his face in Frank's neck. The teenager could feel his sharp stubble against his jaw and whined.
"M-me too, Gee. It's all I've been able to think about. But uh. Are you sure?"
"Yes. I'm sure, Frankie. So sure," Gerard whispered, moving so their cocks were pressed together. Gerard was painfully hard, erection straining against his jeans, while Frank was still twitching excitedly, gradually stiffening.
Gerard let out a soft, embarrassed noise, before gently rocking his hips forward, moaning at the friction.
"Ah. Oh my God," Gerard breathed.
Frank let out a soft whine and rocked his hips up too, albeit somewhat hesitantly. It wasn't that he didn't want this – because God, he so did. It was just that he was scared. He didn't want Gerard to reject him and push him away again.
His thought was interrupted, once again, by Gerard claiming his mouth.
He'd gotten used to kissing Gerard like you got used to drinking coffee. It was natural. He didn't have to think about it. But then there were kisses like this. Gerard's mouth seemed to be everywhere at once, his body pulsing with an ethereal light and warmth as he rocked urgently against Frank, practically humping his leg like a horny teenager. The kiss was clumsy and at times too fast, too hard. Frank felt his teeth being pressed harshly against his own bottom lip- but he didn't care. He kissed back like he was chasing his wildest dreams down Gerard's throat.
After a moment, the older man groaned, moving his face away from Frank's, and pressing eager kisses down his neck, still rocking his hips clumsily forward.
He bit down suddenly, and Frank arched, his fingers tangling in Gerard's hair.
"Oh G-God. Like that," Frank breathed, licking along his bottom lip. Gerard giggled, hand moving to Frank's jeans.
The younger boy hesitated for a moment, worrying his lip with his teeth.
"You sure, Gee?"
"I'm sure. We'll just take it slow," he murmured. He glanced up, hazel eyes flashing in the gentle glow of the low-lit room.
"If that's what you want?"
Frank replied, of course, by kissing him hard, moving his hands down to help Gerard as he fumbled with his jeans. The Priest laughed, pulling back as he undid the buttons on his own shirt, casting the garment onto the floor.
Frank beamed as he kicked his jeans off, watching them pool on the floor. Frank sighed, pressing the palms of his hands against Gerard's chest.
"You're pretty," he whispered. Gerard laughed and stroked his cheek, smiling fondly down at him.
"Not half as pretty as you. C'mon," he said, tugging on his shirt, "take it off."
Frank laughed and rolled his eyes, sitting up a little as he pulled his own shirt off, biting his lip as he revealed his chest to the older man. Gerard grinned and leaned forward, immediately flicking his tongue against one of Frank's nipples.
The younger man sighed, arching slightly as he leaned back against the sofa. He let his hands flutter to Gerard's waist, pressing his lips together.
"Your turn," he panted. Gerard pulled back and laughed, undoing his own belt without hesitation. He arched an eyebrow.
"Y'know, you've seen this one before," he teased. Frank rolled his eyes as he helped him tug the jeans off, pushing them onto the floor.
"I've never seen you like this while hard for me. Can I take your leg off?" he asked, immediately reaching for the edge of the plastic. Gerard snorted.
"That's not a phrase commonly heard in the bedroom. But uh, yeah. Take it off," he said, a faint blush shading across his cheeks.
Frank only smiled and pressed a kiss to his cheek as he began to slide the leg gently away.
He pretended not to notice as Gerard's hand fluttered hesitantly to his own crotch. He couldn't, however, ignore the soft gasp he made.
"Are you okay?" he asked, dropping the leg to the floor. Gerard nodded, biting his lip.
"I haven't touched myself in...in years. I mean. I've thought about it, sure. But I haven't- oh God," he whispered. Frank smiled and straddled his hips, wrapping his arms around his neck.
"Well, now you can. As much as you want. But I'd sorta rather you touched me," he beamed. Gerard raised his eyebrows and kissed him deeply.
"You're gonna...I mean. You'll have to help me," he murmured, stroking his cheek. Frank nodded and rubbed a hand against his own crotch.
"Of course. Start slow. Just-" he climbed off his lap and sat next to him. "Just touch yourself, okay?" he murmured, his hand moving more confidently across his length, pronounced in his tight boxers. Gerard let his tongue dart out along his bottom lip and nodded slowly.
"I can do that," he breathed. Gerard swallowed and brought his hand down to touch himself, his eyes fluttering shut. A gentle huff of air left his parted lips as he rocked his hips gently up.
"Ah. Feels so good," he whispered. Frank beamed, watching him with heavy eyes.
"Good. Keep...like that. God, Gerard, you're so fuckin' hot," Frank panted. He hesitated, before gently sliding his hand into his boxers, groaning when he wrapped his hand around himself.
Gerard let out a soft squeal, eyes widening.
"Frankie?"
"Yeah, baby?"
"C-can I see? Please?" He whispered. Frank let out a shaky, breath of a laugh.
"You wanna see my cock, Father?" Frank whispered huskily. Gerard groaned, his hips bucking up into his hand.
"I do. Show me. Please, Frank." His voice was strained and needy, his cock twitching eagerly against his hand. Frank could see the very tip peeking out from the top of his boxers, and the small wet patch from his precum. Frank groaned, eyes flicking up as he pushed his boxers down. He heard Gerard's faint gasp, and Frank looked at him with fond eyes.
"I'm so hard for you, Gerard," he breathed. Gerard swallowed hard, biting his lip.
"I...me too..." he mumbled. Frank grinned and moved over to kiss him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Gerard seemed stiff, but softened a little when Frank kissed him. He sighed, pressing his hand against the younger man's chest, Frank's heartbeat fluttering under his fingertips.
"Are you sure this is right?" Gerard whispered. Frank smiled.
"I really do. It feels so right, Father. C'mon. Just kiss me. I'll lead you through it," he grinned. Gerard let out a laugh and nodded, leaning forward to kiss him again. Frank moaned against his lips and moved his hand down to the other man's waistband.
"Can I?"
"Please."
Frank smiled and gently tugged down Gerard's boxers. He felt the side of his hand brush against his cock and whined, pulling them down to his thighs. Gerard let out a shaky breath.
"This feels so weird," he laughed, biting his lip. Frank kissed the tip of his nose and smiled.
"Don't think, Gerard. Just feel, okay? I've got you," he murmured. Gerard swallowed and nodded, smiling fondly.
"I know. I trust you," he whispered. Frank grinned and leaned forward to kiss him again, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Gerard kissed back more fervently this time, his breath coming in eager pants. Any shame or guilt he may have felt was cast out of his mind. Frank was all that mattered now. He was all he needed, and God, he needed him.
Frank broke away after a moment, panting hard, his eyes dark and hungry. The way he looked at Gerard was almost predatory, and sent a chill down the Priest's spine.
"Touch me," Frank breathed. Gerard swallowed hard, his eyes widening.
"I don't know how," he whispered back. Frank smiled and took his hand, moving it down to his cock.
"Just touch. Feel me," Frank told him, his voice choked with desire. Gerard took a shaky breath and nodded, wrapping his hand around Frank's cock. Frank gave a soft moan, eyes flickering closed.
"Oh God. Yeah, like that, Gee. Just touch me like that," Frank whispered, thighs spreading as he leaned his head back against the sofa. Gerard nodded and hesitantly began to move his hand up and down, his eyes constantly flickering to Frank for some sort of response. He wanted this to be perfect. Needed it to be.
Frank let out a loud moan, arching his back. He put one hand on Gerard's thigh, feeling the soft skin between his fingers.
"Oh, fuck, yeah. Fuck, Gerard. Let me touch you," he panted. He opened his eyes and looked at Gerard with a softened gaze. Gerard's face heated up, a blush spreading under his skin, and he shrugged softly.
"I...um..." he made a soft whimpering noise, averting his eyes, but not moving his hand away from Frank. The younger boy sat forward and cupped his cheek.
"Hey. Hey, it's okay. Baby. I'm gonna take care of you – I'm gonna make you feel good," Frank assured him, thumb skimming over his face. Gerard nodded very slowly.
"Okay. I...okay," Gerard whispered. Frank smiled and kissed him as he moved his hand to wrap around Gerard's cock. He let out a soft laugh.
"You're so big, Gee," he murmured. Gerard whined against his mouth, his hand resuming its pattern along Frank's length. Frank let out a groan and started to stroke Gerard. His movements were more rhythmic and confident than the older man's. Gerard let out a needy whine that made Frank shiver, biting down hard on his lip.
"God, you sound good," Frank beamed, leaning forward and kissing him. Gerard laughed, curling a hand in his hair.
"G-glad you think so –ah," he moaned. Frank moaned, shifting so Gerard was underneath him again. The older man looked up, still stroking Frank eagerly, his lips parted.
"I can't believe we didn't do this sooner," he panted.
Frank grinned and kissed his neck.
"Oh God, I wanted you so bad. I thought about you every night," he breathed. Gerard whimpered and nodded
"I thought about you too," he whispered, kissing his jaw. Frank groaned and grabbed his ass, rubbing his cock against his hip. Gerard whined, bucking his hips up.
"Oh my god, Gee. I wanna fuck you so bad," Frank panted. Gerard made a short, surprised noise and looked up at him.
"I...have you-
"I've fucked someone before. Have you?"
"Y-yeah. Yeah, I've fucked," he mumbled, cheeks reddening. Frank nodded and kissed him again.
"Top or bottom?"
"Wh-what?"
Frank grinned, kissing him softly and looking at him with a fond gaze.
"Do you uh, take it or give it?" he smiled.
Gerard widened his eyes, pressing his lips together as his face reddened. He was almost sure Frank could hear his heart as it pounded in his chest.
"Oh. Um. B-bottom. Bottom," he mumbled, averting his eyes. Frank grinned and pulled back.
"Oh, that works out great," he laughed, leaning in to kiss his neck.
Again, Gerard seemed sort of stiff and reluctant, but not unhappy. In fact, he let out a soft gasp and wrapped his arms around Frank's neck. He wasn't not enjoying himself – but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't nervous. He felt safe, and he trusted Frank, but this was so weird to him. For the last decade, he'd been telling himself that the exact thing he was doing was wrong and immoral – and now? Now he could barely control himself.
Gerard just nodded, looking at Frank with wide eyes as the younger man pulled back.
"Do you mind if I don't wear a condom?" he asked, voice electric with excitement. Gerard laughed weakly, sitting up slightly. It was all very overwhelming.
"I don't mind. But uh, I don't have any...any lube," he mumbled, blushing hard. Frank smiled.
"Don't worry, baby. I've got this," he murmured, kissing him softly. Gerard nodded weakly. Frank gently spread Gerard's thighs apart, pushing his good leg up a little.
He looked him in the eyes as he sucked his own finger into his mouth, giving him a heated gaze.
Gerard let out a soft yelp of surprise and moved his hand down, gently playing with his own cock.
Frank moaned, smiling around his finger as he rubbed it around Gerard's ass. The man stiffened, but didn't stop him.
"Tell me if you need me to stop," Frank murmured. Gerard just nodded, averting his eyes to the cross on his wall.
He felt a wave of guilt in his throat, but swallowed it. He wanted this. He wanted Frank.
Frank let out a soft noise as he gently pressed his finger into Gerard. The older man gasped, grabbing the sofa as his back arched.
"Oh...oh..." he whined
"That's it, baby. So good," Frank breathed. Gerard whimpered, eyes rolling up. They fell, unfortunately, back on the cross, and he felt another wave of guilt and panic.
Frank continued to slide his finger into him, and was almost to the knuckle, when Gerard grabbed his wrist.
"Frank. No," he breathed. Frank stopped, looking up. He seemed...confused, but mainly concerned.
"What? Am I hurting you?" he asked gently. Gerard shook his head. He felt tears at his eyes, embarrassingly enough.
"No, I just..."
"Gee?" Frank whispered, stroking his cheek. Gerard felt the first tears slip down his face.
"Please. I can't. I can't do this, please stop," Gerard breathed. Frank bit his lip and nodded, sliding his finger out of him. He glanced up at the Priest with soft eyes.
"What can I do?" he whispered. "You want me to leave?"
"No. Don't l-leave me. Just..." Gerard rubbed his eyes, trying to hold back his tears, and failing horribly. Frank sighed and wrapped a blanket around the older man, hugging him close.
"It's okay, Gee. I understand. I know,"
"It's so stupid. I should be able to. But I can't. I can't...forget who I am. I'm a Priest, and I have to...I have duties. Responsibilities."
"But Gerard, if you're not happy-"
"I am happy. Frank, being pure, and following God's plan does make me happy. Even if it comes with sacrifice. Even if I can't...do this," he said gently. His voice sounded disappointed, yet firmer than it had all night, and Frank knew he meant it. The younger boy shifted, a little embarrassed, but held Gerard close to him.
"But the other Priests. They stole all that money. Why do they get to break the rules and you don't?" he asked gently. Gerard smiled and squeezed his hand.
"They don't. They'll be punished. Someone else's sin shouldn't put me off my path," he said in that soft-spoken, yet assured tone he used during his sermons. Frank closed his eyes.
"Well, for what it's worth, I really did want you," Frank whispered. "I want you still." Gerard nodded and rested his head on Frank's shoulder with a gentle sigh, curling around the younger man.
He was quiet for a few moments, before he spoke, barely audibly
"I'm sorry."