For what was left of high school me and Craig were very close. I loved him so much and I'm pretty sure he loved me too, did he? Gah I don't have time for this I have so many years to go. Ok so more high school. Pip and Butters hung out a lot. Satan discovered Pip was using a portal to travel between hell and Earth and got super angry because when you die you're supposed to stay dead. So he brought hell to Earth for a week or two, maybe three. Oh how many was it? There was that whole first two days with the blood rain and the meteors, then the week of the Grim Reaper, then Jesus tried to stop it but died and rose again. Gahahah, I'm getting of topic, It's supposed to be a paragraph per part of my life and this is longer than a normal one. So yeah then Kenny and Butters got together. Stan and Kyle broke up. I lost my virginity. Stan got back together with Wendy. Kyle hooked up with David, then they broke up and Kyle got with Cartman, man high school was weird. Anyway, then we graduated and that was the last time I saw Craig.
College, I miraculously went to the same place as Kyle. We dated for a while but It wasn't going anywhere, we're still friends though. I majored in cooking and, bought a restaurant in San Diego and moved in with Kyle.
One day I looked out the window and saw Stan naked and jacking it. Him and Kyle got back together and they occasionally have loud obnoxious sex and it's super annoying, luckily it rarely ever happens. We ran into Butters one day while in a walk. He Majored in Marine Biology and was studying California Sea Lions. Kenny didn't go to college, he just sorta hung around the campus with Butters and ate the free breakfast that they had. Now they're married. Cartman showed up one day, now he lives with us.
Which brings us to today. The pst week had been boring. Kyle and Stan were out being gay somewhere and it was just me and Cartman. Nothing happened until the phone started to ring. "Can you get that for me?" I yelled.
"Dude you're not gonna believe this."
"What?!"
"It's Craig."