Copyright © zylgnagnaba 2013
I’ve been trying to call Eleanor for the umpteenth time now but she still doesn’t pick up her phone. Every attempt always leads me to her voicemail and it really annoys me. I just really want to talk to her and apologize for what I did last two nights ago.
Her neglect kills everything that’s living in me. She’s one of the few closest friends I have around and I just don’t want to lose her for something I did that was really stupid. I’ve been pacing around the lounge area in our flat. I’m glad Harry left early so that he won’t witness me being like this.
Once again, I dial her number and her voice came through asking me to leave a message after the beep. I curse under my breath—she really is avoiding me.
“Uhm-uh El? Hi, this is Valerie,” I start to speak to the mouthpiece of my phone. “Listen, I really am sorry. It was really stupid for me to do that. I know you’re still pissed and you’ve been avoiding me for two days. I can’t stand it already. I’m really sorry. I will do anything just for you to forgive me. I’ll see you later.” I press the red button, ending my call before I head to the bedroom.
I quickly jog towards the walk-in closet and change into jeans and a black leather jacket over my white shirt, and slip my brown ankle boots on my feet. I don’t mind wearing any make-up and just tie my hair into a messy bun and grab my thick black shades from my drawer, wearing it on my eyes. I slide my phone in my back pocket and a few cash in one of my front pocket, deciding not to bring a bag with me.
I saunter out of the room and quickly run towards the door, getting the key from the hook attached to the wall in the process. I lock the door from the inside and close it behind me as I step out. It’s not even winter yet but cold air already welcomes me outside. I guess I could never get used to the unpredictable weather of England. I shrug my shoulder as I clasp the front of the leather jacket together, glad that I decided to wear it. I guess I’ve always been right with my weather instincts, but not with my stupid decisions in life.
I call a cab when I was a couple of blocks away from our flat and tell the cabbie to send me to the train station. The train ride to Wolverhampton is just an hour so I don’t need to worry about Harry. I’ll be back before he’s home.
Many minutes later, I place a cash on the cabbie’s hand before hopping out of the cab and run inside the train station to buy a ticket. I’m glad I don’t have to wait for my train because it’s already waiting for the passengers. I enter into one of the doors, walking through the aisle to search for a seat. I notice some passengers paying me a second look as they might recognize me. But I quickly pass them, looking down on the blue-carpeted floor. I release a tedious sigh as I find a seat next to an old lady with her I can only assume is her granddaughter.
“Hi.” I babble to the little blonde girl with pigtails, crouching down to her level on the seat. She bashfully smiles up at me and timidly waves her hand. I look up to her grand mom that is smiling back at me as well before returning my genuinely jolly gaze at the little child.
“What’s your name?” I ask her. She’s really cute. I have always had soft spot for little kids, no matter how annoying and out of control they can get.
“Michaela. I’m seven.” Her soft voice is full of enthusiasm as she raises her seven fingers at me. I can’t help but giggle at her.
“Hi, I’m Valerie.” I tell her while sticking my hand out to shake her small one, my other hand pushing my shades up to my head for her to see my eyes. She responds shyly and I move her little hand up and down with mine. It’s only when I get closer to her face I noticed that her eyes are a shade of forest green, like Harry’s. I smile imagining if Harry and I end up together, I would love our first born to look like Michaela. I mentally laugh because we’re not even yet close to that and I’m already thinking about it.
“I know you. You’re Harry Styles’ girlfriend.” She prattles over the words but manages to not stutter. For a second, I am shocked that she’s able to recognize me. “Megan said you stole her boyfriend.” She tells me not maliciously, like she doesn’t even know the meaning of the words she just uttered. How is that possible that a little seven year old girl is able to talk like this? I chuckle a bit when her grand mom clamps Michaela’s little mouth with her hands, surprised at the little girl’s utterance as well.
I chuckle at the old lady, “It’s okay, Ma’am. Who’s Megan?” I look down to see Michaela’s green eyes again and her grand mom slowly releases her hand from her mouth.
Michaela rubs her lips with her arm aggressively, frowning at her grand mom.
“Megan is my sister. I told her you’re prettier than her, but she won’t listen to me. I said, Harry loves you but she keeps telling me that you stole her boyfriend.” She shrugs her shoulder, sighing hopelessly while frowning at her lap and I laugh even louder. This kid is really adorable.
“No, I bet your sister is pretty just like you. Did she meet Harry already?” I ask her, pressing my lips together after finishing my sentence.
“Uhm… I don’t know.” She shrugs her shoulder uncertainly to which I found her even cuter. “She went to a few of their concerts though but I don’t think she met him.”
“Well ask her if she wants to meet him, I can arrange some things.” I suggest to Michaela and her grand mom. The old lady widens her eyes at me, smiling while Michaela who can’t seem to understand what I meant just looks up at me, her green eyes focused on me. “Well, do you have a paper and pen, Ma’am?” I ask the old lady assuming she had brought the objects because she has a huge purse with her.
My assumption is confirmed once she nods at me. She opens her bag and flips through some stuff inside finally digging out a blue pen and a small itinerary notebook. I smile as she hands the objects to me and I begin writing my agent’s name, Walter Halt, and his number on the back page of her notebook.
I insert the pen inside the notebook. I open the notebook again as I place it on her lap. “When Megan says she wants to meet Harry, call this guy immediately.” I instruct them kindly, pointing the scribbled name with the pen. “He’s my agent. He will contact me immediately when you call him, okay? Tell him I’m your friend.” I smile at them, the old lady still smiling at me with wide eyes.
“Thank you so much.” I notice her tears start to brim in her eyes but she quickly wipes it with her hands. She looks down at her granddaughter with an affectionate smile, stroking her blonde hair. Michaela is still oblivious about what her grand mom and I had just talked about. But she will find out soon.
I am also oblivious about the hour that had passed when the train has finally stopped followed by a female voice announcing that we just arrived in Wolverhampton. Michaela hop off of my lap as I was playing with her throughout the ride, giggling when I tickle her each time she missed a letter in the alphabet when I told her to recite it instead of singing it.
I hold her tiny hand as we make our way out of the train; her grand mom that I learned is named as Rose following us from behind. I pull down my shades to the bridge of my nose again to diminish the possible attention I might just draw from the crowded train station.
The clanks of my boots as I step on the floor of the station seem to entertain Michaela. She looks up at me amusedly once in a while after gazing at the way my steps make a sound on the floor. I grin at her when our eyes meet again and her smile is still in awe. This little girl is really adorable, unlike me when I was a child. The smile on my face dwindles when I look back at the memory, but I shrug them all off when we finally reach outside. I notice a lot of cabs line up waiting for their prospective passengers. I decide to escort Michaela and her grand mom to one of the cabs before I take mine. I bid them farewell, promising to see them again.
I turn on my heels from their cab when the cabbie ignited the engine. I stop from my tracks when I hear Michaela call my name from the inside of the vehicle, quickly turn around and run back to their cab. Rose rolls down the window for Michaela. Michaela smiles at me as she sticks her head out of the window and I bend down to her level. She grabs my face with her tiny hands and kisses me on the cheek whispering a soft ‘Thank you’.
“No, thank you.” It’s my turn to kiss her on her temple and I wave my hand goodbye as she returns to her seat. Rose rolls up the window again and they took off.
A smile is plastered on my face when I climb in another cab, dictating the cabbie a certain address from my phone that I assume where Sophia lives with her family. I’m still not sure if I got the right address though. See, this is what’s wrong about being impulsive. I don’t think before I do something.
The smile that I had on my face because of Michaela now completely gone as I feel my heart thumps in my chest. I am already tensing when my instinct tells me that I am near Sophia’s house. It’s okay, I just really have to do it quickly.
The cabbie turns around to face me in the passenger seat when he finally pulls up to a lot, parking at one side of the unfamiliar road.
“This is it, Ma’am.” He tells me and I nod at him before placing few pounds in his hand. I open the door to climb off of the cab but the male driver halts me even before I can step on the gravel ground. “Your change, Ma’am.” He says while stretching his hand forth with the change.
I shake my head at him and beam, “No sir, you can keep it.” And that’s when I hop off of the vehicle, his quick ‘thank you’ catching up to me and I slam the door shut.
When the car has finally drives off the lot, I take my time to look around and notice a peaceful neighbourhood. As I continue walking along the pavement, taking mental note of the house numbers, I also observe few kids playing outside their houses, sprinklers wetting around the grass in their front yards, a man fixing his car, and a woman digging a soil from their lawn on my side of the street.
I stop on my tracks, my head turning from side to side as I take in the surroundings of the house in front of me where I saw the woman digging soil. She is crouching down at the ground, wearing red latex gloves with a little shovel in her hand. Little pots surround her, some filled with soil already and some are waiting to be filled.
“Uhm…” I clear my throat and the woman looks up at me from the ground. “Hi, Good uhm…” I unlock my phone to check the time, 2:00 PM. “Good afternoon, Ma’am,” I continue, nodding at her. She stands up from her position and look at me quizzically. “I am just looking for a certain friend of mine.”
“Yes?” She asks for me to go on.
“Uhm… I’m looking for Sophia Smith. But I’m not sure which house here she’s living at.” I motion around the village, chuckling at myself.
“Well, aren’t you just lucky? I’m her Mom.” I widen my eyes in awe. I haven’t even recognized the similarity in their eyes and lips. There’s no denying that she really is Sophia’s mom. She removes her gloves before she stretches her hand out in front of me and I quickly respond for a handshake. “I’m Sally. And you are?”
I gulp, refraining from saying my name. Suddenly, I regretted being mean towards Sophia. What if she told her mom how rude I was to her from the first day until her last evening in London? Oh shocks! Why didn’t I see this day would come?
Sally raises her brow at me, still waiting for me to say my name.
“Uhm… I- I’m uh…” I stutter. Shit.
“Valerie?” Sophia suddenly appears at their front porch, answering her Mom’s previous question for me. Both her mother and I look towards her direction and before she comes closer to us, Sally returns her quizzical gaze at me. Oh gosh! I’m doomed.
“So, you’re Valerie?” I nod sheepishly at her, “Wow. It’s nice to finally meet you.” She pulls me in a hug completely making me shudder in slight shock. “Oh, oops! Sorry…” She grumbles after quickly pulling away from me and that’s when Sophia appears right in front of us. “I’m full of dirt. Sorry, I was carried away.” Sally giggles and Sophia smiles at her mom’s silliness.
“It’s okay, Ma’am.” I tell her politely.
“No, no. Call me, Sally. You know Sophia has told me so many things about you.” She smiles at me and looks at her daughter that Sophia replies with a bashful nod. Wait, if she told her so many things about me, I would expect they would be awful things about me. But why is her mom acting all fangirly and awestruck towards me? “Now, come on. Let’s continue this chit chat inside the house. And I really need to change because this is really embarrassing.” She chuckles again, gesturing her hand to her fair enough dirty clothes.
As I continue my steps towards their door, I can’t help but imagine that maybe they’re just pulling off an act. That maybe, Sophia’s mom is just acting nice and warm towards me and maybe when I finally enter their house, that’s when she will attack me and avenge her daughter. Or maybe, they will offer me cookies and a cup of tea with poison but I will refuse because I don’t like teas, and then they will just offer a juice instead and that’s when I will get poisoned, or maybe I’m just paranoid because I don’t really deserve to be treated like a very important person after all what I put Sophia through.
“Sit. Sit.” Sally requests enthusiastically once we reach the living room of their house. Sophia awkwardly stands to my side, not knowing what to do in my presence. “I’ll come back later. I’ll just change, then grab some cookies and make you tea.” She tells me and Sophia. I widen my eyes, my heart starts pounding in my chest because I was just thinking about cookies and tea. Okay, I’m really getting paranoid so I shake off the thoughts.
“Uhm, Sally?” I hesitantly call her and she stops by the doorway of the room. “I don’t drink tea, sorry.”
“Okay, then I’ll make you juice then. We have fresh oranges.” I quickly swallow the lump in my throat, my forehead start to sweat and I hastily rub my temple. This isn’t happening. I’m not going to be poisoned. “Valerie?” She calls me out of my paranoid thoughts.
“Uhm, yeah. Sure. Juice it is.” I nod, gulping again. To my words, Sally leaves the lounge leaving me and Sophia alone.
I turn my head to Sophia, looking up at her. “Sophia, sit.” I scoot to the side and tap the vacant space next to me. “Don’t be a stranger to your own home.” I chuckle dubiously.
Sophia complies but looks down to her lap, still hesitant to look me in the eyes but I can tell that she still is puzzled about my surprise visit.
After a moment of silence, she finally looks up at me. “So, what made you come here, Valerie?” Her voice is laced with confusion. I get her, I was rude to her and visiting her all the way to Wolverhampton would be the last thing anyone would think I’d do.
I clear my throat, and swallow the lump in my throat that has been bothering me since I entered their warmth of a home. “Uhm…” I start by rolling my eyes from side to side. How do I say this? Where shall I start? I know I should’ve thought about what to say before I even come here. But yeah, I am really that impulsive. I wish I was impulsive enough to admit my feelings to Harry. But anyway, back to Sophia.
“Well,” I am still clueless of what to say but I know I should apologize, that’s the main point of coming here. I notice my fingers drumming on my lap before I could look at Sophia again. “I’m sorry.” I blurt out frowning and Sophia snaps her head at me in utter shock. That’s how foreign for her the word ‘sorry’ coming from me. “I know, I did a lot of uncalled for things. I was rude to you from the very start. I was so immature. Ugh!” I look away shaking my head and darting my eyes to the glass table that has few magazines underneath. I notice a familiar one with a very familiar girl on the cover, me—Valerie Scott. Wow.
I look at my lap again, rubbing my hands to the rough texture of my jeans. “I wish I was lot nicer to you back then. Thinking of all the things I did to you right now, I really feel so stupid. Nobody deserves to be treated like that. I’m really sorry.” I look up at her this time, remorse is etched in my features as I mean every word I’ve said. I realize right now that I am not just doing this for Eleanor’s forgiveness, but also Sophia’s. El was right—I really owe her an apology. I really should step back now and let Liam and Sophia be happy and carry on with their relationship without my distraction. Not like I have the right to do so. I’m lucky Sophia hasn’t lashed out on me yet, rather she just kept listening to me.
“I understand, Val.” Her voice is soft as she tells me the words and look at me with sincere affection. “You only did that to protect Liam because you thought I was a threat to him. Since we started our relationship, everyone was as cynical as you about it. But I’m quite relieved to know that you’ll be there for him whenever I’m not around. You’ll protect him and that made me admire you more. You were straightforward at the very beginning; I was really unprepared about that. Truth be told, I was really scared.” She chuckles a bit and looks down to the floor. “Unlike some people who pretended to be happy about it but talk some stuff behind our back. I didn’t really like that and you were like a breath of fresh air to me. You were different.” She chuckles a bit more now and I join her.
The next thing we know, I grabbed her hand with mine and hold on to it over my lap. I am as surprised as she is but I am keeping my cool. “About what I said when we were in Dorset. I-“
“It’s okay, Val.” She cuts me off, squeezing my hand gently and smiles sweetly at me. “Liam told me about the proposal thing before we get even further in our relationship. It didn’t surprise me that you know. I was just kind of shocked to hear it from another person. So, don’t feel bad about it, okay? Oh, and I already forgive you.” She tells me as afterthought and I scoot even closer to her, pulling her into a tight embrace.
I am even unaware that tears already make their way to my cheeks and I wipe them quickly when we pull away.
She notices the moist and the flushes in my cheek. She chuckles as she runs a thumb in my tear-tainted face and we both snicker. I feel like a ton of bricks has been heaved off my shoulder as several laughter escapes from Sophia’s and my lips.
Sally emerges back to the room not shortly after, with a new set of clothes adorning her. She places a trey with two cups of tea, a glass of orange juice, and a plate of freshly made cookies.
We continue our chat while eating—Sally admits that she’s awestricken to see me earlier because she hears my name almost everywhere and she bought the new magazine for Sophia, knowing she’d appreciate it. I am now comfortable with Sophia, and I am glad that she never kept grudges against me. I am just so happy to know that we’re good now. Most importantly, I did not end up being poisoned.
Sophia drives me to the train station and we hug before I can disappear inside the building.
******
I am already inside the fast-moving train when I hear my phone ring and I quickly fish the gadget out of my back pocket to see who appears on my screen—Eleanor.
I press answer and put the phone against my ear, to which I immediately hear rushed words from my friend, “Valerie, where are you?” She is whispering over the line.
“I’m on my way home.” I tell her casually but I am puzzled by the fact that she is whispering.
“We’ve been trying to call you but the line is always dead,” We? Who are we? “Harry has been looking around for you. He called every possible people you could-“
“Is that her?” I hear another voice from the other line followed by a swift thud, giving me a hint that the phone has been snatched from Eleanor’s hand. “Where the hell are you?!”
Harry. My heart quickly beat faster and pounding in my chest. If isn’t caged with the collective bones of the ribs, I know it would burst out of me. Nervous is an understatement of what I feel right now. I’m beyond terrified. Harry is mad again. Shit.
“Uhm. I’m on my way home.” I tell him with a low and hesitant voice.
I hear Eleanor’s soft voice again sift through the line telling Harry to calm down.
“Where… exactly… are you?” He repeats, his voice is laced with anger but I know he’s trying so hard to collect himself before he can lash out on me. I hear chatters in the background. There are other people in the room where they are.
“I’m on a train back to London.” I choke on my words.
“What?! Where were you from, Valerie? Tell me.” He orders as I hear heavy and sharp breaths coming from him. He’s fuming now, I can tell.
I gulp before I could tell him, “Wolverhampton.” I whisper yieldingly.
There is silence for few seconds before I can hear him say, “We’ll talk later.” His voice was rather emotionless, or maybe he’s just controlling his anger. But despite how he ended the call, I am still scared of what will welcome me when I go home. Harry and I just made up days ago and now, he’s mad again.
I slouch in my seat, face-palming myself. I frown when sets of texts start bombarding my phone all at once. I figured my phone didn’t have signal earlier until now, that’s why my line has been dead when they tried calling me.
I burst a worried sigh when I discover that a lot of these texts came from him and Eleanor. Mostly asking where I am, to call them once I read the message, so on and so forth. I really am doomed.
Once I’m dropped off by the cab in front of our flat, I am immediately engulfed by the cold atmosphere laced with the hot temper that I know is waiting for me inside the shelter I share with Harry. I exhale deeply before I could even have the courage to hold the doorknob and open it. My heart is racing once I take a single step inside the flat and uncertainly proceed to the lounge where I am expecting Harry waiting for me.
I cringe when I see him tensing in his seat with his head in his hand, rubbing his temple. He looks worried. When he felt my presence, he immediately snaps his head and that’s when I squeeze my eyes shut, knowing all the possible things he will do or say.
“Valerie!” He yells at me and I shudder when I feel his footsteps approaching. “What are you thinking? You always scare the living shit out of me. Why do you always do that?! You could’ve at least left a fucking note or texted before you leave. What the fuck is wrong with you?!” He spits. I open my eyes slowly and cast my head down to the floor, darting my eyes to the close proximity of his slippers to my ankle boots.
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.” I grumble, pursing my lips. My nose puckers as I feel tears starting to well up my eyes.
“Of course. You weren’t thinking. Great, Valerie. Just great.” He throws his hand all around him as he moves around his position. On the other hand, I stay frozen on my spot fighting back the tears. “Oh you’re going to cry now, Valerie?” Sarcasm is clear in his tone as he questions me when he stops right in front of me again.
I look up at him and his eyes soften when I wipe the little tears away. “No, I’m not going to cry.” I tell him with much more courage now, sniffling and wipe the tears again that had betrayed me.
He takes a deep breath and gust a heavy air out of his nostrils.
“Go ahead and eat now.” He tells me with authority and pointing to the kitchen.
I shake my head timidly saying, “I’m not hungry.”
“Eat, Valerie.”
Knowing, I’d never hear an end to it, I just submit and walk past him towards the kitchen.
I quickly spot two plates set on the dining table—readied with fish sticks, vegetable salad, and slices of ham. I slowly slump in my chair, feeling defeated and down. I don’t even have the appetite to devour this food in front of me no matter how enticing they look. If I were my normal self, I know I would start drooling just by looking at these and wouldn’t even manage to control myself from shoving them in my hungry mouth. But I am not my normal self right now.
I feel Harry’s presence behind me at a distant and I know he’s now approaching the table. I am still looking at the food and hadn’t scooped any on my plate. I just really lost appetite—which is a miracle. It just took a mad Harry to do that.
“Valerie…” I hear him call me when he stops next to my side of the table. I look up at him with eyes that are dreading of his anger, but I’m proven not do so when I see his soft eyes locked with mine. “Look, I’m really sorry for yelling.” He bends down a bit to take my hand gently and he tugs it for me to stand up. He places his other hand on my hip and the other tangles with my fingers. We are now standing with close proximity and he pulls me even closer against him. He places my arms around his neck and swings me slowly despite the absence of music. This romantic gesture somehow has given me an ease.
He then presses my forehead with his before he speaks again, “I was just so worried about you, you know?” His hot and minty breath fans my face as he speaks. I nod and I close my eyes before he places a long peck on my lips. We smile when we pull our lips away from each other and I lean my weary head on his shoulder while he continues to swing me in place. His arms wrap around my waist tighter and I nuzzle in his shoulder feeling the warmth of his body.
“What did you do in Wolverhampton, by the way?” I feel the vibration of his throat as he speaks and I quickly snap my head up to look at his green eyes once again.
I press my lip in a line before I smile in an uncertain way. “I just visited Sophia… to apologize.” I tell him and shrug my shoulder.
“Apologize for what?” His brows furrow as he questions me.
“Uhm…” I start doubtfully, looking away before I return my gaze to him. “I kind of went behind her and Eleanor’s back the other night when we had that all-girls dinner.” He frowns a bit and then tilts a brow, asking for further elaboration. ”I invited Danielle to the dinner without telling them.” I look down from his face to his chest, but I know his soft expression has dropped when he starts to loosen his grip from my body. “But we’re good now, Harry. We talked about stuff.” I tell him once I look up at him again.
“Let’s eat. I’m hungry.” Is his answer and he pulls away from me, gently but quickly. He gets to his seat before I return to mine. He stares at the food emotionless but grab few scoops to his own plate. Is he still mad at me?
*********
HARRY’s POV
Jealousy is eating me up when I heard Valerie’s confession. She invited Danielle over for the dinner to make Sophia feel uncomfortable—not for that one sole purpose I know. I know she wanted to completely get rid of Sophia, because she’s jealous of her relationship with Liam. I don’t know what I would do with her anymore. And this fucking feeling of affection towards her countered by damned jealousy is slowly sinking me down to the drain.
I’m so torn.
Have you ever heard of the phrase, La Douleur Exquise?
It’s a French word that refers to a heart-wrenching pain of wanting the affection of someone unattainable.
And I know, Valerie and I feel the same—me towards her, and her towards Liam.
******
REFERENCE:
La Deuleur Exquise (website: bigthink.com)
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Awww! Gags! LOLOLOL xxD
How do you like the story going so far? Hmm.
So far, Valerie has three strikes already. How many more strikes do you think she’ll have? Hahahah I don’t know. Don’t ask me.
Well by the way, can I set vote goals before I can post another update on the book? Don’t worry, I won’t ask too much. Maybe just a hundred? Lol No… Just 20 votes on this chapter for the next chapter. Okay? So please vote ‘cause I want to update really soon. Hahah
And please do comment, please? I really want to know how you’re liking or hating the story so far. What part of the story is your favourite, by the way? Please tell me… Mine would be ‘SPLASH OF FOOLISHNESS’ and ‘CHERISHING CHESHIRE’. Idk why. Hahah
That’s all! Xx
Love,
Glyz <3
PS: Dedicated to KatherinForeverYoung! Thanks for the votes and comments. Love you, dear. xx