Charlotte woke up with a start. Her mouth was dry and the blanket was scratchy against her skin. She struggled to get her bearings. She wasn't in her own bed, she was in Louis's. What the heck...
"Hiya," Louis said, putting a cup of coffee down beside her as if nothing was amiss.
She sat up pulling the blanket tightly around herself, trying not to freak out as she remembered the previous evening. "I have to go."
"It's only early, I'll run you home later."
"You don't understand, I can't be here with you, like this." She took a couple of deep breaths trying to steady her nerves.
"Why not?"
"Louis I'm married!" Was he deliberately being stupid? Very possibly.
He arched his eyebrows. "Yeah, but you're getting divorced, we had quite a few conversations about it last night."
"But I don't want to be divorced on the grounds of my adultery!" She felt a surge of anger. "I'm the injured party and I won't have anyone saying otherwise."
He sat down next to her. "No one is gonna find out but why would you care if they did? I'd have thought if anything it'd speed things up." He laughed. "But I don't mind being named in your divorce, I'd consider it a privilege."
She sighed, she'd been complaining all night that her ex was being obstructive, no wonder Louis didn't get it. "If Nick got wind of this I'd be the guilty party. I'm not having that, and I'm not having my son thinking I cheated on his father." She closed her eyes feeling ashamed; technically she had cheated on his father.
"So you're gonna keep your life on hold until you're divorced?"
She frowned. "I can't get involved with anyone right now if that's what you mean." Surely he didn't think they could start something back up?
He gave her a crooked smile. "I think you're worrying too much about appearances."
"I have a child to consider," she said irritably. "Where are my clothes?" She knew they were on the floor but she couldn't get to them without getting out of bed. Thankfully Louis picked up on her hint and handed them to her.
"Could you at least turn around while I get dressed," she said still holding the bed sheet around herself in a belated attempt at modesty.
He grinned at her. "It's nothing I haven't seen before."
"I'd forgotten how annoying you were," she snapped glaring at him.
"Sorry." He turned his back to her. "Look about last night?"
"It should never have happened, forget it."
"Maybe I don't want to. I know the timing's all wrong and everything..."
"Louis please, I can't be having this conversation with you." She yanked at the zip on the back of her dress struggling to fasten it.
"You're gonna break that," he said appearing behind her.
"Fine, you fasten it."
"So how about we get together sometime?"
She held in a sigh. "It didn't work before when we had everything going for us, so there's no way it will now."
He slowly smoothed her dress down. "We're not kids anymore."
"We're too different." She turned around to face him. "And anyway, you cheated on me, I would never get back together with you."
He flinched. "I didn't cheat, we agreed to see other people, and it was your idea. I went on two or three dates tops."
"Well, I didn't go on any." She made her voice as cold as possible. "I'm sorry but last night was a mistake. I was drunk and over-emotional, it meant nothing to me."
"Okay," he said, stepping away. "Finish your drink and I'll take you home."
~~~~
"Turn left at the next set of lights," Charlotte said breaking the silence between her and Louis that had existed for the past hour. He'd never been the most talkative of guys but this was ridiculous. Weren't guys supposed to cut and run after a one night stand?
"It's okay, I remember where it is," Louis finally said. He glanced at her, slightly longer than necessary. "So how about we have dinner sometime?"
She groaned. "I can't, I'm married."
"You can't eat cos you're married," he said sounding like his normal self.
"You know that's not what I meant." Idly she rubbed her wrist, when she caught him watching her she forced herself to keep her hands still.
"I do want to see you again."
"I'm sure you'll see me about."
"You know that's not what I meant," he said repeating her own words back at her.
She took a deep breath, trying to keep her composure. "Louis there's no point in us starting anything. Even when I'm divorced, there's still no point."
"Sure there is. Your life doesn't have to be over just cos you're getting divorced, especially these days."
She took a deep breath, she was going to have to spell it out to him. For once she wished Darlene had been more indiscreet. "I can't get involved with anyone again since it won't go anywhere. Remember, I lost a baby?" He nodded. "Well, I found out I probably can't have any more children." Instinctively her fingers began to twist together. "I didn't have a regular stillbirth if there is such a thing. I fell down some stairs and went into labour early...there was internal damage, amongst other things." She looked at Louis hoping her explanation was sufficient.
He cleared his throat. "Lottie, I'm sorry. I don't know what to say."
"I'm not after your sympathy, I've had plenty of it but I'm sure you can see why this is going nowhere."
"This changes nothing for me."
You say that now...
He parked the car in front of her brother's house, cutting the engine. "I'm not looking that far ahead. I was just thinking we could spend some time together, see how it goes, no pressure."
She twisted around to properly look at him. "Yes and say it goes well, it then goes nowhere with me. I'm a dead end. I'd rather not put myself through that when I know there can only be one outcome."
Louis frowned. "Who said I even wanted kids anyhow? It's not something I've thought about. Getting from one day to the next is as good as it gets for me."
She met his eyes thinking he was more troubled than he was letting on. Much like herself. "You don't want children now when you're only twenty-five and you're not even in a relationship," she said softly. "Give it a few years and you'll probably feel differently."
"Maybe I will but we're talking about the here and now." He lightly touched her arm. "So how about going for dinner? As friends?"
She sighed, her fingers twisting together. "It doesn't sound like it's friendship that you're after."
He smiled. "I'll take friendship to start with."
She held her hands to her face, trying to keep a lid on her frustration. "You're not getting it. I'm not going to allow myself to get close to someone when I'm only going to get hurt. I'm not putting myself through that. I can't."
"Right," Louis said drumming his finger on the steering wheel. "Then why don't you go back to your husband?"
She inhaled sharply. "Seriously?"
"Yeah, if you can't have a child with anyone else, at least you already have one with him." She fixed him with an icy glare. "I'm sorry Charlotte but this doesn't make sense. You have a child together, you think - wrongly - that no one will want you cos you can't have any more? Then go back to your husband and make it work with him cos otherwise you are just gonna wind up a lonely old lady."
"Have you finished?" she asked her voice quietly furious.
"I'm just trying to get my head around this."
"You don't need to." She pushed the car door open, swinging one leg out. "Do us both a favour and stay out of my life!"
~~~~
Thank you for reading, please consider voting.