ABIGAIL
I checked the time on my cellphone. It's 6 PM.
Siguro ay nagugutom na si Tony. I stood up from the sofa and went back to the kitchen.
Inihanda ko ang pagkain and then I set the table. Pagkatapos ay kinuha ko ang cellphone ko sa aking bulsa and sent a text message to Tony.
"Dinner's ready."
Lumipas ang limang minuto ay hindi pa rin dumadating si Tony. Hindi rin ako nakatanggap ng sagot mula dito.
Is he okay?
I sat and waited for him for a few minutes. Nang hindi pa rin ito dumating ay tumayo ako at pinuntahan ko ang kwarto nito.
"Tony!" Sigaw ko sabay katok sa pintuan ng kwarto nito.
Walang sagot. Bigla akong kinabahan. Baka ano na ang nangyari dun. Baka nadulas sa banyo o di kaya ay nahulog mula sa kama.
Muli akong kumatok.
"Tony? Are you okay?"
Nang wala pa ring sumagot ay binuksan ko na ang pintuan.
"Tony?"
Napalitan ng inis ang aking pag-aalala nang makita ko si Tony na tumatawa ng malakas. May ka videocall ito sa kanyang laptop.
ANTHONY
"You got your ankle sprained because of some chick?" Jacob laughed so hard when I told him about what happened to me.
"I was drunk, man! You know I get stupid when I'm drunk."
Jacob was still laughing. I want to punch his laughing face on my laptop screen.
"I'm so sorry. It's just that you're so stupid!" Jacob started laughing again.
Si Jacob ay parang kapatid ko na. Nagkakasundo kami sa maraming bagay. Ang daddy niya ay isang American habang Japanese naman ang mommy nito. We went to the same high school.
I hated my very first days in New York. Lalo akong nagalit sa mga magulang ko dahil sa ginawa nilang pagpapapunta sa akin sa New York. I had a reputation of beating people when I lose my temper back then. At 'yon ang dahilan kung bakit nila ako pinatira sa bahay ni Faye.
I lived with Faye, my half-sister, and her family. Mabait si Faye pero strikto. She even made me go to a shrink to have my head checked. Gusto niyang ipatingin ako sa eksperto to make sure na hindi ako maging isang criminal dahil napadali kong magalit.
Laking pasalamat ko naman at ginawa 'yon ni Faye para sa akin. The shrink told me to divert my anger to things I like, to express my anger and create something out of it.
At doon ko nakilala si Jacob. He was starting his band at naghahanap ito ng lead guitarist. Then came Michael our bassist and Noah our drummer.
After high school graduation, our band took off. We became an instant hit. We got a deal from a huge recording company and the rest is history.
Hindi naman nagustuhan ng mga magulang ko na hindi na ako nag-college. They even stopped sending money just so I will listen to them but I was already earning a lot that time.
And I was spending money like there's no tomorrow. Mabuti na lang at nandoon si Faye.
She works as an accountant sa isang malaking kompanya. And she became my unofficial financial adviser. Tinuruan niya ako kung paano gumastos at mag-ipon ng pera sa tamang paraan. Kinausap niya rin ako na pagbutihin ang guitar and songwriting skills. I went to music school when I'm not recording.
Faye was like a parent to me. What my parents lack, she filled. Ang tanging ayaw ko lang kay Faye ay ang mga dating advice nito sa akin.
"So, is she hot?" tanong ni Jacob. Hindi na ito tumatawa but he's still teasing me.
"You only I only go stupid for hot girls," I said and laughed.
"No, you don't. You become cautious when it comes to hot girls. You don't know what they're after and that's why you're careful."
"Do you know that you sound like Faye right now?"
"I know. And this girl you're interested in, I know she's more than hot."
Tinawanan ko siya. Masyado niya akong kilala.
"Stop laughing and tell me the details," pangungulit nito.
"There's not a lot to tell, okay. I barely know her." Totoo naman. Wala akong masyadong alam kay Abbie.
"How about her name? Surely you know her name."
Should I tell him about Abbie?
"You remember that time I told you about a certain girl who had this huge crush on me in high school?"
Jacob looked away from the screen for a few seconds. Nag-iisip ito.
"Son of a gun! Is it Tony crazy???" he asked and started laughing.
Tumawa na rin ako.
"Shit, Tony! You're fucked! I'm telling you, you're fucked!"
"I know, I know! I didn't care about her before and now I'm making a fool of myself"
"So, is she really that pretty for you to lose your head?"
Tumango ako.
"She's different from before. She has this perfect skin, wavy brown hair, perfect figure, and big expressive eyes."
"Whoa! Wait a minute! I thought she's a nerd?" Jacob asked. Nalilito ito.
"She's still wearing nerdy eyeglasses. If you ask me, I don't think she needs them. I think she's just hiding behind her eyeglasses."
" When can I see her?"
"Tony?"
Napatigil kami nang marinig namin ang boses ni Abbie.
"Holy shit! Is that her?" Jacob asked with a surprised look on his face.
Bago ako nakasagot ay muling kumatok si Abbie.
"Let me see her!"
"No, no, no!" I said while laughing. Hindi papayag si Abbie. At isa pa baka isipin nito na maniac ako.
"Ah, come on, Tony!"
"I said no, not now," I whispered to him. I was afraid that Abbie might hear me.
"Why are you whispering? And why is she in your apartment? Are you sleeping with her?"
"Of course not!" I answered him and laughed so hard.
Bago pa ako makapagpaalam kay Jacob ay bumukas ang pintuan at pumasok si Abbie.
Shit!
Seryoso ang mukha nito.
"Tony? You ready for dinner?"
I looked at the screen and saw Jacob's confused look.
"She's serving you dinner??" hindi makapaniwalang tanong ni Jacob.
"I got to go."
"No, don't go. Come on, Tony...!"
Before Jacob can say anything I closed my laptop's lid and then smiled at Abbie.
"Yep. I'm hungry!"
ABIGAIL
Tony's eating like it's the end of the world.
Kanina ko pa ito tinitingnan. Tila masaya ito at bumabalik na sa dati nitong ugali. Kanina sa kwarto nito ay nakita ko itong tumatawa. Hindi ko naman alam kung sinong kausap nito.
"How's your foot?" tanong ko sa kanya.
Nag-angat ito ng tingin at nginitian ako. Hindi ko naman alam kung bakit pero biglang bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko.
"I think it's healing fine," sagot nito and started to stare at me.
"That's good to hear."
"That's because I have a very caring nurse." sabi nito sabay ngiti.
I don't easily blush pero nararamdaman kong umiinit ang pisngi ko kaya't hindi na ako sumagot.
"How about you? How are you?"
Hindi ko inaasahan ang tanong nito.
"I...I'm fine. I'm beginning to move on. "
I'm not fine. Nahihirapan akong mag-move on. Naiisip ko pa rin si Mark. At tuwing naiisip ko siya ay bumabalik ang lahat ng sakit na ginawa niya sa akin.
"No, I don't mean that. That guy doesn't deserve you. What I mean is your memory."
Wala pa ring pagbabago sa memorya ko. Ganun pa din.
"Still the same. I still can't remember the past."
"Are you getting professional help? From a shrink or something?"
Shrink. Yun yata ang tawag ng mga Americans sa clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, or psychotherapist.
"Yes, I have a psychologist." Pero matagal na akong hindi nakikipagkita kay Dr. Mendez. Simula nung mag-away kami ni Mark ay natigil na ako sa pagpunta sa clinic ni Doctora.
"So, what did she say? Are there any improvements?"
Bakit ba ang dami niyang tanong? Bakit interesado siya sa mga alaala ko?
"Yes."
"That's good to hear."
This time it was me who stared at him. Why is he so interested with me? At naiisip ko, ano kayang hitsura nito kung wala itong balbas?
"Aren't you going to shave your beard?"
Napatigil ito sa pagkain at hinipo ang makapal na balbas.
"I like my beard. Don't you?"
Umiling ako. Hindi ko type ang mga lalaking may facial hair.
You're not hiding from someone, are you? Are you a criminal?" Totoo naman ang sinabi ko. Baka may pinagtataguan ito.
Tumawa ito ng malakas, showing his perfect teeth. Biglang lumakas ang tibok ng puso ko. Ano bang nangyayari sa akin?
"I'm not a criminal," sabi nito na nakangiti.
Siguro ito na ang tamang panahon para tanungin ko siya tungkol sa kanyang sarili. Ang tanging alam ko ay mayaman ito. Maliban doon ay wala na.
"What are you then?" Gusto kong malaman na hindi ako nagtatrabaho para isang wanted na tao.
"I'm a musician and a songwriter," sagot nito.
There was something in his eyes. Curiosity?
Nasa music industry pala ito.
"Are you famous?"
He stared at me for a long time. Nakangiti ito, parang binabasa ang aking isipan.
"Maybe. Maybe not," sagot nito, nakatitig pa rin sa akin.
"Is that why you're growing your beard?"
The way he's laughing, sa tingin ko ay tama ako. Siguro ay isa itong sikat na guitarista or songwriter. Or hindi kaya ay isang singer.
"What kind of music do you play?" Tanong ko dito nang hindi ito sumagot.
"I really can't say. Just ask me something else."
Lalo akong naging curious sa sinabi nito. Nag-isip ako ng ibang maitatanong sa kanya pero wala akong maisip.
"Don't you wanna know if I have a girlfriend?" he confidently said.
"I know guys like you have girlfriends." I emphasized the 's'. Ngumiti lamang ito. I know he's a playboy. Rich and famous guys normally have lots of girls.
I smiled nang may naisip akong itanong dito. This one is perfect.
"Why are you here in the Philippines?" I asked and waited for his reaction.
He suddenly felt uncomfortable. Nawala ang ngiti sa mukha nito.
"You said I can ask you something else." I teased him. Napakamot ito sa ulo. Alam niyang hindi siya makakalusot. Kailangan niyang sagutin ang tanong ko.
"Because I want to make peace with my past...?" tila nalilitong sagot nito.
"What past?" mabilis kong tanong.
Sasagot na sana ito nang mag-ring ang phone ko na nasa mesa. Tiningnan ko ito. It's Sam.
"Aren't you going to answer that?" tanong ni Tony na nakatingin din sa cellphone ko.
Alam kong hindi ako titigilan ni Sam kung hindi ko sasagutin ang tawag niya.
"I'll be back," ang sabi ko kay Tony at kinuha ko ang cellphone ko. Tumayo ako at pumunta sa living area.
"Hello?"
"Abbie? How are you?"
"Heto. Okay lang."
"Tumawag sa akin si Dr. Mendez. Hindi ka na raw sumisipot sa mga sessions ninyo."
Napapikit ako sa narinig ko. Sesermonan na naman ako nito.
"Alam mo naman kung gaano ka-importante na makipagkita ka kay doctora, di ba?"
"I know, Sam. Promise pupuntahan ko si doctora bukas."
I know Sam is just looking after me but I'm an adult now. She has her family to take care of kaya't ayokong maging pabigat sa kanya.
"Okay, yon lang naman ang gusto kong marinig. I just want to help you, Abbie."
"Alam ko, Sam..."
Hindi ko na natapos ang sasabihin ko dahil narinig ko si Tony na umuubo. He was coughing real hard. Hindi kaya't nabulunan yun?
"Who's that?" tanong ni Sam.
"Ahm...I've got to go, Sam. Bye."
Mabilis kong pinuntahan si Tony sa kusina. Umiinom ito ng tubig.
"Are you okay?" His face looked red.
"Cherry tomatoes. I almost choked on one." Sagot nito.
"Do you need anything?"
"Yes. Can you get my medicine in my room? It's on the bedside table."
Tumango ako.
"Sure," sabi ko rito.
Iniwan ko sa ibabaw ng mesa ang cellphone ko at tinungo ang kwarto ni Tony.
ANTHONY
Akala ko ay mamamatay na ako.
Damn tomato! Mabuti na lang at may tubig sa mesa.
Habang hinihintay ko si Abbie na bumalik ay nakita ko ang phone niya na nasa table. Hindi ito nakalock. Sam's number was shown on the screen.
Ano kaya ang pinag-usapan nila? Kumusta na kaya si Sam?
No. I shouldn't.
I told myself not to get Abbie's phone but my hand was already reaching for it.
I took my phone from my pocket and I started to copy Sam's number. I was down to the last number when I heard Abbie talk.
"Found it."
Bigla akong mag-panic. Kinuha ko ang phone niya at inilagay sa aking bulsa.
Shit! Ano na ang gagawin ko ngayon?
"Here you go," sabi niya habang binibigay sa akin ang gamot.
I immediately swallowed the pill and drank the glass of water.
"Thanks," I told her.
I watched her as she sat down on her seat and then she continued to eat.
Shit! Ano ang gagawin ko kapag hinanap niya ang phone niya?
"I'll go ahead. I think I'll sleep early tonight." I lied to her. I don't know what to do with her phone.
Siguro ihuhulog ko na lang sa sahig ang phone niya.
"Do you want me to help you?"
"No." I immediately answered. I took the crutches and started walking towards my room.
Ano na ang gagawin ko sa cellphone niya ngayon?