Someone had killed the power. Inside the interior office with no access to ambient light, it wasn't just dark. It was pitch black as a coal mine. It reminded me of the time my parents had taken me to tour Carlsbad National Caverns on a vacation when I was a child. At one point during the tour, while we were inside a large room inside the cave, deep underground, the lights were turned off to illustrate just how utterly dark it was inside the caverns. I remembered holding a hand in front of my face until it touched my nose and I still couldn't see it. This was the same.
The hair on the back of my neck was standing on end now. My heart had started to race, and my palms were growing sweaty as I again pulled the Glock from its holster. Someone was in the building with me. The problem was I didn't know who. I believed I had cleared the interior and determined the killers were gone. Maybe they weren't. Somehow I had missed something, or else someone had entered the building after I'd walked through it.
The only consolation was if the killers were inside the building with me, they couldn't see anymore in the darkness than I could. That considerably lowered the odds that I was going to get a bullet between the eyes the way the other victims had. Still, I felt an almost overwhelming urge to get out of the office and out of the building, out of the inky blackness, as quickly as possible.
Chances were, I was safe enough at the moment I thought. The power had obviously been shut off at the main electrical panel. The logical location of that panel was in the room at the rear of the suite where the phones were. I had two choices. Neither of them was good. I could try to find my way out through the darkness to the front of the building where I had entered, or I could take my chances and try to feel my way through the back room to the door that exited onto the alley at the rear of the building.
Several minutes had passed, and I knew that the cops were probably already responding to the 911 open line call. By the time I could get to the front of the building, depending on how far away the police units were when dispatched, I might run right into the arms of the responding officers. I really didn't want that. I'd be tied up for hours answering questions that I didn't want to answer. I also had to find Evania and fast. Based on what I had seen, I had to assume the killers knew where she lived now. I couldn't afford a delay likely to last for several hours.
The other option was just as bad, maybe worse from the standpoint that I had to pass through the same room where someone had accessed the electrical panel to kill the power. If it was the killers, they could be waiting there. The only explanation for why the power had been shut off was because whoever was in the suite of offices with me now was aware of my presence. I made a decision. While it was the more dangerous option, I decided to try to get out through the back.
Gripping the semi-automatic tightly in my right hand and holding it close to the front of my body pointing outward, I used my left to slowly find my away around the desk to a wall by feel. I had to be quiet.
If it was the killers inside with me, there was no guarantee they would be content to simply wait in the back room on the chance that I'd choose to try and get out that way. I could just as easily try to get out through the front. They couldn't know about my intent to avoid the police so attempting to exit the front door might likely seem the more logical choice from their perspective. Even now, maybe they were silently moving along the interior hallway towards the office I was in, listening intently in the darkness for me to make a sound that would betray my general location. Like me, they too might be tightly gripping a gun in a sweaty palm, ready to fire blindly in the direction of any sound that gave away my location.
My stomach was in knots as I gingerly felt my way along the perimeter of the walls, working my way toward the doorway. To me, the sound of my own breathing sounded like a freight train. I lightly shuffled my feet to avoid tripping over something or bumping into something that would make noise. I was pretty sure I was moving clockwise around the room, but I couldn't be certain. The first thing that happens when you're suddenly thrust into sight depriving blackness is you lose orientation. If I were following the wall in the other direction, I'd have to be careful not to trip over Wilson's corpse.
Finally, I felt the door frame. I couldn't see the opening. Everything was pitch black. I struggled to force myself to continue moving slowly because chances were I was rapidly moving into more danger. I felt my way out the open door into the short hallway. There was a faint line of light showing beneath the door that entered into the front of the building, evidently from the sunlight coming in through the front windows of the reception area. That allowed me to get my bearings. Glancing in the other direction I couldn't see anything but blackness. I paused for a few moments and listened, straining to hear the slightest sound that might reveal the presence of someone else.
Hearing nothing. I crossed the hallway until I had my left hand on the opposite wall and then slowly and blindly groped my way down the hallway towards the rear door, the pistol still out in front. It seemed like time was standing still and an eternity before I finally found myself in front of the door leading into the phone room. It was still closed which made me feel a little better. I gingerly felt for the doorknob. I twisted it carefully and then very slowly and cautiously started to push outward to open the door. I couldn't remember if the hinges squeaked when I had opened the door earlier while checking the backroom. I still couldn't see anything once I had the door open. It could have just as well still been closed. Silently I cursed myself for shutting the exit door earlier after checking the alley.
Totally deprived of sight, I felt more anxious by the minute. I grew more impatient to get out of the building. It started to feel like the room was moving beneath me. I recalled a scientific experiment I'd read about once back when I was in the Army. A group of volunteers was placed inside a pitch black, soundproof chamber for just 15 minutes. At the end of it, they were interviewed. The researchers discovered that after just 15 minutes of sensory deprivation a majority of the subjects had experienced psychosis-like hallucinations similar to experiences associated with recreational drug use.
After passing through the doorway, I stood in the phone room for several moments again straining to hear anything that might reveal the presence of someone else. The total absence of light felt palatable, almost like a weight on my body. I didn't exactly hear it, but somehow I sensed something rushing toward me and instinctively I raised my hands like a boxer to protect my head. Something hard and heavy struck my forearms with enough force that I lost my grip on the Glock, and it clattered to the floor.
In the Army, I'd learned that if you found yourself suddenly in the kill zone of an ambush, your best chance of survival lay in immediately and violently counterattacking the aggressors. Without pausing to think about it, that's what I did. I sprang forward toward the threat. One hand found the object that had almost taken my head off, a fire extinguisher, and my other hand found an arm. My attacker immediately lost hold of the fire extinguisher at the start, and it crashed to the floor with a loud metallic clang and skittered away. By that time I had a firm grip on an arm with one hand and a throat with the other. I took a couple of ineffective punches to the face but then launched myself forward into the person. The law of gravity took over, and we both fell heavily to the floor. The attacker rolled over, struggling to escape my grasp to scramble away. I countered by leaping onto their back and got an arm around their neck in a choke hold. Just as I started to squeeze, she screamed.
The sound of a female scream caught me off guard. It was the last thing I'd expected. I thought I was grappling with a thin, wiry, and strong guy, not fighting with a woman. But I didn't know who the woman was so I didn't release the hold. I eased the pressure just enough so that she wouldn't be rendered unconscious.
"Who are you?" I said.
The woman didn't answer right away, so I repeated the question, squeezing a little harder for emphasis.
"Malone?" she said.
"Evania?" I said.
"Yes," she said.
I let her go and climbed off her. I grabbed an arm and pulled her to her feet as I stood up.
"What are you doing here?" I said. "You nearly took my head off with that fire extinguisher."
"I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't know it was you."
"You killed the power?" I said.
"Yes," she said. "I heard noises, and I was scared. I didn't know what to do. Then I saw the electrical panel. I opened it and turned off the main switch."
"Are you okay?" I said. "Are you hurt?"
"I'm okay," she said. "It just knocked the breath out of me when you threw me on the floor."
"Look, Evania, we have to get out of here," I said. "The cops will be here any minute. If they find us here, you are going to be telling them your story like it or not."
"Okay," she said. "But I'm disoriented now. I have no idea where the door is."
"Hang on," I said. "Just stand right here. I'm going to try and find the panel and turn the lights back on. Where is it exactly?"
"It's on the wall right next to the door," she said.
"Okay," I said.
I too was disoriented after wrestling with Evania. I put my hands out in and front of me and shuffled forward until my hands found a wall. I followed the wall a few feet and then found the door frame. Every electrical panel I'd ever seen was installed somewhere around eye level. I felt around the wall at that height on one side of the door but didn't find it. I moved over to the other side of the door frame and had just started sweeping my hands across the wall on that side when I touched the cool metal frame. In every panel box, I'd ever seen the main breaker was at the top. I explored the inside of the panel with my hands until I found it. I shoved upward on the switch with my thumb and was nearly blinded when the power was restored, and the lights inside the room suddenly came on.
I turned and glanced at Evania. Her short skirt was hiked up revealing the tops of her thigh high stockings. She hadn't seemed to notice until I started staring at her and then it dawned on her and she hurriedly started tugging at the hem of the skirt. She looked terrified, and her her entire body was shaking like a leaves in a strong breeze.
"You sure you're okay?" I said.
"I am now," she said. "I thought you were one of those men and that you were going to strangle me."
"We'll talk later," I said. "Right now we have to get out of here."
I quickly scooped up the fire extinguisher from where it had come to rest on the floor. I walked over and hung it back on the hook affixed to the wall where Evania had taken it from. I thought about wiping it down to remove the fingerprints, but there was no time. There certainly wasn't time to sanitize the whole place and no telling what else she had touched. As long as it was hanging in the proper place, I doubted the crime scene technicians who would soon be processing the suite would think to dust it for prints. Luckily for me, no one had been bludgeoned to death with it. I then retrieved my Glock from the floor where I'd dropped it and stuck it back in the holster.
"Let's go," I said. "We have to hurry."
I moved quickly to the door that exited onto the alley with Evania following. I opened the door and did a quick peek up and down the alley. No one was there, and so I motioned to Evania with a jerk of my head to exit. After she was out the door, I used my handkerchief to wipe my prints off the inside door knob, walked out into the alley, and closed the door. I then quickly wiped the exterior doorknob, grabbed Evania by the upper arm and we headed down the alley to the corner.
"Where is your car?" I said.
"I had to park a block up the street," she said. "There weren't any empty parking spaces on the block when I arrived."
"Okay," I said. "We'll take my car and come back later for yours. I'm parked just down the street from the front door."
Walking quickly, we turned right at the corner and were then back to Hollywood Boulevard. I looked up the street towards the entrance to Discreet Encounters. There were two squad cars double-parked on the street about a half block past the front door. I didn't see any cops and figured they had already entered the suite and were by now looking at some dead bodies.
"Come on," I said.
We walked at a normal pace so as not to attract attention. Just a guy and a girl out for a leisurely stroll. When we arrived at my car, I opened the passenger door, and Evania got in. I walked around the front bumper to the driver's door, opened it, and got in behind the wheel. I inserted the key into the ignition and started it up. After checking the traffic, I pulled away from the curb and drove away west on Hollywood Boulevard towards Wilcox Avenue.
###
I headed for a coffee shop at the corner of Hollywood Boulevard and Wilcox I sometimes frequented. Evania and I had a lot to talk about. But neither of us spoke until I pulled to the curb near the coffee shop and parked.
"I'll buy you some coffee, and we'll talk," I said. "From what I saw back there we have to assume the bad guys know where you live now. You can't go home for the time being. We have to decide on a place for you to stay where you will be safe until I figure out how to get the killers off the street."
"Alright," she said. "I'd really like something stronger to drink, but I suppose I can settle for coffee."
She wasn't shaking now and seemed a little more in control. We walked inside together. Evania walked to a table in the back and sat down. I went to the counter and ordered two coffees. I carried the cups to the table and sat down across from Evania. I slid her cup of coffee across the table. She looked at me while I took a sip of mine. It was hot and strong, the way I liked it.
"What happened back there?" she said. "Was anyone hurt?"
"You don't know?"
"No!" she said. "Tell me."
"You first," I said. "What were you doing back there?"
"I went there to warn Elle," she said. "I started thinking about what you said. I decided I had to warn her that some bad men might come around asking how to find me. I knew she wouldn't voluntarily give them my address, but you said they might force her. I was afraid they would hurt her. So I went there to warn her, to suggest she shut the office down for a few days."
"So did you warn her?" I said.
"No, I didn't get the chance," she said. "I spoke to Robin, the receptionist when I arrived. I told her I had to speak with Elle about an important matter. She told me to go on back to Elle's office. When I did, Elle was on the phone. I needed to use the restroom, so I decided to take care of that while she finished her telephone call."
"Restroom?" I said. "I didn't see a restroom."
"You wouldn't have unless you knew it was there," she said. "I was told when I started working there that the restroom was originally located in the reception area. But when Discreet Encounters leased the suite they remodeled. The restroom was relocated to the back of the building, tucked into a corner of the back room where the girls worked the phones. Somehow the contractor managed to make a mistake reading the blueprints. The door to the restroom ended up adjacent to the door entering the backroom. So whenever anyone opened the door from the hallway into the back room that door covered up the restroom door. Unless you shut the hallway door after entering the back room, you would never know the restroom was there."
"So everything was fine when you arrived?" I said.
"Yes, why?" she said. "Tell me what happened."
"We will get to that," I said. "But I need to hear the rest of your story first."
"Alright." She said. "I spoke to Jackie for a moment. He was in the office across the hall from Elle's. Then I continued to the back. I said hello to the girls on the phones, and then I went into the restroom. I had only been in the restroom for a few moments when I heard what sounded like a gunshot inside the building. It was very loud. I put my ear to the wall and listened. Then I heard a man talking very loudly, and I heard Elle speaking. But I couldn't hear what was being said. I could just make out the voices."
"Then what happened?" I said.
"The talking continued for a while," she said. "Then I heard what sounded like another gunshot. I was really frightened then. I was sure that it must be those men I'd seen who killed Trevor. I stayed quiet and kept listening at the wall. Then I heard some loud thumps, sort of like books hitting the floor after falling from a table. Between the thumping sounds, I heard a woman screaming. I think it was Elle, but I can't be certain."
"So you stayed in the restroom?" I said.
"Yes, I was petrified," she said. "I didn't know what else to do. Now please, Malone, tell me what happened."
"Soon," I said. "Finish your story."
"I heard what sounded like another gunshot and then things went quiet for a while," she said. "I couldn't bring myself to move for the longest time. I just kept listening for what seemed like ages. After a while, I heard the front door chime. I didn't know if that meant the men were leaving or someone else had come in through the front door. I heard rustling noises coming from the hallway or offices. I heard the hallway door outside the restroom open. After a few minutes, I heard the rear exit door being closed. Then I heard the hallway door shut. I kept waiting and listening. I didn't know what to do."
"When did you get the idea to shut off the power?" I said.
"It went quiet again after I heard someone close the hallway door," she said. "More time passed, and I didn't hear a sound. I finally decided that I had to get out of the restroom and try to get out of the suite. It took awhile to talk myself into trying. But finally, I made myself open the restroom door. I stepped out. I put my ear to the hallway door and listened. I heard someone moving around in one of the offices. I was so afraid at any minute the men were going to come through the door and find me. I was so scared I couldn't even make myself walk across the room to the back door. That's when I saw the electrical panel. I got the idea I'd be safer in the dark. I saw the fire extinguisher, the only thing in the room that even remotely looked like a weapon I could use to try and defend myself. I grabbed it off the wall and then I returned to the panel. I opened the little door and saw the big switch at the top that had "main" on a label next to it. I flipped it down, and everything went dark. I felt my way along the wall until I thought I was far enough away from the door but close enough to hit anyone with the fire extinguisher that came through it. Then I just waited. You know the rest."
"Yes," I said. "Now I suppose it's my turn to fill in the part you don't know."
Evania looked at me pensively.
"When I arrived I found three dead bodies," I said. "A guy and two women."
The look on her face turned to horror. I continued.
"The guy, I'm sure was your driver Jackie. I found his identification. The two women I assume were Robin and Elle. All three were shot in the head in the same way your client was killed. I think it's a safe bet they were killed by the same men who killed your client, Trevor."
"Oh my god," she said. "They are all dead?"
Evania buried her face in her hands.
"It's all my fault," she said, her voice trembling.
"Listen to me," I said. "It's not your fault. You tried to do the right thing. You went there to warn them. The bad guys just got there too quickly. You've got to hold it together, Evania. You can't fall apart on me now. There will be time enough for that later. First, we have to figure out a safe place for you to stay until I can get this sorted out."
Face in hands, Evania sobbed silently for several moments. I didn't know how close she was to her dead associates. Still, I knew it was a lot to take in. She felt responsible, and I understood that. In my recent past, I too had felt responsible for the death of someone, a close friend. I knew that feeling was very hard to shake no matter how many times people tried to assure you it wasn't your fault. I sat quietly and drank my coffee, giving her time to sort her feelings.
Finally the sobbing lessened and then stopped. I could see that Evania was trying hard to compose herself. She looked up and wiped the tears from her eyes with a hand.
"They are going to kill me too aren't they?" she said.
"No, they aren't," I said. "I'm not going to let that happen. I'll protect you. I'm going to find a place where you will be safe until this is all over."
"Where?" she said. "Can I stay with you? I'm too frightened to be alone right now."
"That wouldn't be a good idea," I said. "I have to try to find the killers. I'll be gone all the time, and I don't want you left alone."
"Then where?" she said.
"I have a friend, Sara Bernstein, who lives in Brentwood. She is out of town until Friday, but I have a key to her place. You will be alone for a couple of nights but you will safe there. When Sara gets back, she will keep you company until it's safe for you to go home."
"You have a key to her place?" Evania said. "Sounds like she is more than just a friend."
"Yes, she is more than that," I said. "We're together, a couple."
"But you don't live together?" she said.
"No," I said. "Not at the moment anyway. It's a long story but now is not the time to tell it."
"I see," she said. "I not sure how I feel about moving into the home of someone I don't know, especially when they are away and don't know about it."
"It will be fine," I said. "Sara will be happy to help. I'll let her know about you when I call her this evening."
"Well, alright if you're certain she won't mind," she said.
I'd long since finished my coffee and was sure Evania's had gone cold. She hadn't taken more than sip or two.
"Let's get going," I said. "I'll drop you at Sara's place, and then I am going to try and get a line on the killers."
"How are you going to find them?" she said.
"I'll tell you in the car on the way," I said. "We have some more talking to do."
Evania nodded. We got up from the table and left the coffee shop. We got into my car, and I headed towards Brentwood.
We didn't talk much on the drive over. But then something occurred to me.
"Let me see your phone," I said.
"What?" she said.
"You're phone, Evania," I said. "Let me see your phone."
She dug in her purse and pulled out a rose gold-colored iPhone.
"Let me see it," I said.
She handed me the phone. I rolled down my window and tossed the phone out.
"What the hell!" she said.
"Can't risk keeping it," I said. "We have to assume the killers have your telephone number too. Further, given the speed in which they were able to track you to Discreet Encounters, we need to assume they are pros. There are ways to track a cell phone even if it is turned off. You can get another phone once this is over."
"But I need my phone," she said.
"I'll pick up a burner for you," I said. "Meanwhile, you can use the land line at Sara's if you need to make any calls."
"I think you're paranoid," she said.
"I'm not paranoid, just careful," I said. "Won't do much good to stash you someplace safe where the killers won't know to look if we make it easy to track you down using your phone."
"I think you're giving them too much credit," she said.
"I'd rather err on the side of caution," I said. "I'd rather give the killers too much credit rather than underestimate them, Evania. Four people are dead, three of them simply because they got in the way through no fault of their own. These men are stone cold killers, and they aren't going to stop until they kill you. We can't afford to be wrong, we can't afford to make any mistakes."
"Fuck, I feel like I went to sleep and woke up inside a Bourne movie," she said. She turned away and stared out the window.
We drove the rest of the way to Brentwood in silence.
###
Forty-five minutes after leaving the coffee shop I parked in the driveway of Sara's two-story, three bedroom, Spanish Revival-style house. The exterior was tan stucco, a red clay-tile roof, and repeated arches around the entry walkway. I switched off the engine, opened the door, and got out. Evania got out on her side and followed me to the front door. I selected the key from my key ring, inserted it into the lock, and opened the door. I pushed it open and stood aside. She walked inside, I followed and closed the front door behind me.
The interior was open architecture with exposed beams and wrought-iron details. Sara's love of natural, earthy colors was on full display in the interior decorating scheme she had chosen. Hardwood floors covered by colorful rugs in hues of pine green, burnt orange, dark gray, and gold. The upholstery and throw pillows contributed more green, muted rose, and burgundy. The furnishings in the living room were Mission style, with the natural wood finished in a warm stain.
I gave Evania a brief tour and showed her the guest room, the guest bath, and finally the kitchen. I opened the refrigerator and found it virtually empty. A check of the cupboards revealed a similar story.
"Sara doesn't cook much," I said. "She tends more toward takeout. I'll pick up some stuff for you from the supermarket. In the meantime, there are take-out menus beside the phone in the kitchen. There are plenty of good restaurants in the area that deliver."
"I'll survive," she said.
We returned to the living room. Evania sat down on the couch with her legs together, ankles crossed, and feet firmly on the floor. I sat across from her in a matching chair.
"I understand why you've felt the need to be so secretive in the beginning," I said. "But it would make things a lot easier now if I knew more about you."
"Like what?" she said.
"For starters, I need to know where you live," I said.
"Why is that imperative?" she said. "If I disclose my address you would be able to find out everything about me. I'm not certain I'm comfortable with that. I have a lot at stake."
"I get that, Evania. But like I said, we have to assume the killers know where you live now. That means they will probably go there looking for you. If I stake out the place, there is a chance I'll find them, and that might lead to finding out who they are."
"I suppose that makes sense," she said. "I suppose I'll have to trust you. It doesn't look like I have much choice."
"So tell me your address."
"I live in Bel Air, at 1725 Stone Canyon Road."
"I can't hide here forever," she said. "Not even for very long at all. My husband will be back in town by the middle of next week. I'll have to be at home, or there will be questions, questions that will lead to a place I don't want to go with him."
"Maybe I'll be able to resolve this before he returns," I said.
"Perhaps I should just go to the police," she said.
"That's always an option," I said. "But the cops wouldn't do things any differently than we already are. They would try to put you someplace safe and discourage you from going home. Even if you tell them what you saw they aren't going to know any more than we know. Might even take them longer to resolve this than it would take me. You won't be their only concern. Murder investigations can take a long time."
Evania didn't say anything. She was looking in my direction, but I could tell she wasn't looking at me. She was looking beyond me, towards the street in front of the house, outside the front windows. Finally, she spoke.
"I suppose you're right," she said. "We have a few days until my husband returns home. Maybe you will find a way to resolve this before he returns."
"Maybe so," I said. "But if so, I need to get started and soon."
"What will you do?" she said.
"I'm going to your house. I'll set up surveillance at a discreet distance and see if the killers show up looking for you."
"And if they do?" she said.
"I'll tail them, hopefully to somewhere that will lead me to learn who they are," I said. "Then even if you ultimately decide to go to the police, at least we will have some names to pass on."
"What if they have already been to the house and found I'm not there?" she said.
"They won't give up immediately after checking just once," I said. "It's really the only lead to you that those guys have at the moment. I think they will keep going back until they decide you aren't going home. If I watch long enough, they are bound to show up there."
"Are you coming back this evening?" she said.
"I can't say for sure," I said. "It depends on the killers, whether they show up at your house and if so where it leads."
"I really hate the idea of being all alone," she said. "I'd feel better if I had a gun."
"Do you know how to use one?" I said.
"Yes, I do," she said. "I keep one at home."
"Okay," I said. "Wait here."
I got up and walked upstairs to Sara's bedroom. I opened the top drawer of the bedside table and took out a Glock 42, .380 semi-automatic pistol. I'd bought it for Sara for home defense and taught her how to use it. She had small hands making a .380 the best choice. I chose the Glock because of its simplicity of operation and reliability. I dumped the magazine and ejected the round from the chamber. I released the slide and pulled the trigger on an empty chamber. I returned the loose round to the magazine and went back downstairs to the living room. I handed the pistol to Evania. She looked at for a moment and then pulled back on the slide and locked it to the rear.
"It isn't loaded," she said.
"I know," I said. "I wanted to satisfy myself you really knew how to use a gun before I handed you ammunition."
She released the slide, pointed the pistol at the floor, and pulled the trigger on the empty chamber.
"Satisfied?" she said.
"Yes," I said and handed her the magazine. "There are six rounds."
"Isn't it designed as a 6+1?" she said.
"Yes," I said. "But it's an ACP and safer not to keep a round in the chamber. It doesn't take even a full second to pull and release the slide to chamber a round."
"Okay," she said as she slid the magazine into the well inside the grip.
"Sara and I have a key," I said. "No one should come around knocking on the door unless you have take out delivered. If you do, make certain it's a delivery guy from the restaurant you ordered from before you open the door. Other than that, lock the door when I leave and don't open it to anyone."
"Got it," she said.
"And don't shoot me when I let myself in," I said. "After opening the door, I'll announce myself before walking in."
"Got it," she said.
"Okay, I'm leaving now," I said. "If I don't make it back this evening, I'll definitely be back sometime tomorrow with a burner phone for you and some supplies from the supermarket. Any requests?"
"Not at the moment," she said.
"If you want a drink, there is white wine in the refrigerator," I said. "If you want something harder, it's in the cabinet above the sink, but I don't know if you will find anything other than water to mix a drink with."
"I'll be fine," she said.
"Great," I said. "Then I'll see you this evening or tomorrow at the latest."
I turned and walked to the front door with Evania in tow. I let myself out and closed the door behind me. I heard the metallic click of the lock and then headed for the car. The fact that she had known how to competently handle the pistol made me feel more at ease with leaving her alone.