"What are we doing here?" I asked Zach as he lead me to the front door.
"As I said, I'm gonna show you what you're missing" he said as if I can't understand him. I give him a killer look.
"And that would be?" I asked but he ignored me and opened the door.
My jaw dropped as I was greeted by maidens and different ages of kids playing around.
"Mr. Harrison, what a surprise for you to visit at this time" a maiden with blonde hair and smiling eyes greeted Zach.
"I just thought of coming by, see the kids if they're doing well" he said kindly.
"Oh, well they are. Feel free to check them" she offered and she kind of remind me of Nanny.
"Well hello there. Are you perhaps Mr. Harrison's girlfriend? You guys look cute together!" The maiden exclaimed and I blushed. I lowered my head in embarrassment.
Zach cleared his throat awkwardly "We're just gonna check the kids" he said and the maiden nodded with a happy gleam in her eyes.
Zach led me to a chamber where infants are. My heartbeat increased its pace as sudden anxiety invaded me.
Please don't tell me Zach is going to do what I'm thinking he'll do.
Picking up an infant in his arms, he held him expertly with firm yet gentle hold on the baby.
"The thing that you're missing...is the essence of family" he said, answering my question earlier.
My eyes watered as I realize he was right. I have never felt the essence of a family although I have one. How can I not? They isolated me since birth.
"Seeing you earlier, you're so unsure how to hold the baby. And from the looks of it, you are never in touch with your relatives. The kids doesn't come near you ever and they seem like they are avoiding you. Why, Alexandrielle?" He asked me firmly as if scolding me.
I clenched my hands to fists "Because I was never exposed to family, OK? I've been isolated since birth so you can't blame me for not being able to fit in with them because I can never" I said as I try hard to control my emotions.
"And did you ever try to win them? No you didn't. You just let them be while you wallow in your own world of misery. How can you not when you didn't try to fight for it?" he said with a hard tone.
"Because I don't have any fight in me anymore!" I snapped at him. I couldn't take it anymore. My heart is aching so bad that I feel like collapsing. I'm grieving for my loss, for my family, for my lackings, my flaws, the things I'm missing. I'm torn; broken and nothing is fine anymore. I just couldn't stand it. I can't fight anymore because all my fights in the past was in vain, I tried but I always ended up hurt.
His eyes softened and he put the baby down on its crib. His arms wrapped around me as he rubbed my back soothingly.
"I know, I'm sorry. You have every right for fight to leave you. Ever since I met you, I see nothing in those eyes but an empty void. No darkness, no light...just blankness. I may see you laugh and smile here and there but I know, that pain is always there and it never leaves. It is what is keeping you from being truly happy. You have so many things that you lost since your birth but I'm willing to make it up to you. Just let me in. Let me help you" he said as my sobs became more painful, heavier. My pent-up pain is surfacing and I couldn't help letting it out, even in the arms of the man that I use to hate.
Just then I realize, I can let him in. I can trust him. Then maybe....I can love him.