Moses McKinley
"You haven't said much Moses. You want to make your marriage work, don't you?" The couples therapist Camry went and found ask me. I ran my hand up and down the soft arm of the couch I sat on and looked at my wife briefly who placed her hand on my shoulder like she was really trying to comfort me.
"I don't. Every time I start to feel something for her something stops me and I end up hating her and resenting her. It's started to get worse lately" I told the woman being upfront. She didn't seem shocked nor did she look at me as if what I felt was wrong.
"Camry said you didn't want your daughter at first. You offered her a lot of money to get an abortion and she kept it anyway. I know children can cause a lot of resentment in relationships when they aren't planned" She explained and Camry sighed big and rolled her eyes.
"How do you think Sienna would feel if she grew up and found out you resented her? You got me pregnant, I didn't force you into anything" Camry responded.
"I love my daughter. You're right she didn't ask to be here but that doesn't mean that I can't be angry about it. You barely take care of her and leave the nanny's doing everything. I feel like you kept her because you wanted to be spiteful not out of love or because you really wanted her" I said turning to look at my wife.
Camry seemed shocked at my words and looked at the therapist who was silent and waiting for us to continue our conversation without getting involved.
"You think I needed to trap you? Why are we even still talking about this? She's here and she is not going anywhere so man the fuck up Moses!" Camry snapped growing defensive.
"We're still talking about it because you know I didn't want this baby. I don't want any kids period and it's really getting to me and fucking with my head. On one hand I love my child because she's mine but on the other hand i'm just depressed as hell" I said resting my head back.
"Your feelings are valid. Men just like women can get depressed after a baby is born, it lowers sex drive and can affect relationships" The therapist explained and Camry laughed from beside me.
"He doesn't have a problem sticking his dick in anything at all. He fucks men and women" Camry muttered and I sat up.
"You don't know what you're talking about. Shut up!" I snapped rubbing my chin. Camry grew a smile as she watched me squirm.
"He had a boyfriend a few years ago. He's afraid i'm going to out him when some people already know about him, they're just afraid to ask him because they know he'll fight anyone who even questions his manhood. You can't run from the past forever" She teased.
"Boyfriend? Moses would you like to start from the beginning so that I could get a better understanding?" The woman questioned and Camry smiled.
"That's a bit too personal, innit? Anyway he's irrelevant now, that's over and it'll never happen again" I responded growing irritated.
"You sound hurt" Camry said as she looked me over. I sighed and stood up ending this shit before I hurt her feelings.
"As it stands right now I don't know if I want this marriage to work. We got married for the wrong reasons and our issues continue to get worse" I called over my shoulder as I opened the door and walked out slamming it behind me.
I could hear Camry as she started to cry to the woman like her fake ass always did. Her parents were still married so I wondered what type of relationship her parents had. I'd only met her mother three times and it was obvious she didn't live with Camry's father.
At this point i'd usually call Aaron and escape from everything but he'd turned out like everyone else in my life and was no longer reliable. His life had went to shit like mine had so it was useless trying to save him from himself when he really didn't want to be saved.
Carlos sat in my car with it running as he drunk a coffee and scrolled through his phone. He rolled the window up as I climbed into the car and he turned his attention to me.
"I told you that couples therapy doesn't usually work. It's all bullshit man, just a way to give people hope that a relationship they deep down know won't work, might get better" Carlos said and I nodded understanding where he was coming from.
"I feel like it could work if we both wanted it to work but we don't. I cut off my side chick and I still don't wanna be with my wife. We have to keep up appearances man, it's the only way" I responded as I stared at the road ahead of me.
"Speaking of appearances, I did some asking around and that stickup kid Amaru? He was at the club, the same club I was suppose to meet up with Angelo's right hand. Maybe they ran into each other" Carlos pointed out.
"But why would Amaru kill him? The man is shady but he hasn't killed anybody he's robbed that I can think of. So why kill Angelo's right hand without robbing him at all?" I questioned.
"I don't know. You should find out, i'm just passing along the information I got and as your right hand i'm just trying to look out for you" Carlos said as his phone beeped catching his attention.
Even if he had killed Angelo's worker that was his problem. I'd talked to Angelo at his wedding and he made it seem like things were all good between us and he'd look into the situation so he'd figure it out eventually but it wasn't my problem.
I drove to my brother Michael's place to check up on him. He was suppose to be in Carlos' position but things hadn't worked out that way and after a few disagreements he'd had with James, my brother had decided to walk away from the game.
I parked in his driveway before cutting the car off. Carlos took a phone call and stayed behind as I climbed out of the car and jogged up the steps.
Almost like he'd sensed me, the door opened before I could even knock and my sister Antonia stood in the doorway. She looked me over and I pushed passed her making my way into the house as she slapped me upside the head.
"You could speak, but you'd rather act brand new" She commented. I looked over my shoulder at her and narrowed my eyes holding back what I really wanted to say.
"You aren't important enough to speak to" I responded with a smirk and she pursed her lips together as Michael came around the corner.
"Yeah whatever. Is my niece with you or are you still being a deadbeat?" Antonia questioned causing me to tense up some.
"You'd know a lot about deadbeats, yeah? Aren't you on like baby number five and you still can't get a nigga to stay and raise what he created? At least i'm in my daughters life!" I snapped.
"You sound triggered. I was just teasing but there must be some truth to my statement since you're so bothered" She responded with laughter.
"Ma should have swallowed" I muttered and Michael slapped me upside the head. I glanced at him and then at my sister who smiled and walked away satisfied.
"You hit me and yet she started with me first" I complained as I looked around the foyer of his home.
"Seemed like the right think to do. Mum, probably would've done the same if she were still here. She's still your older sister even if she gets on your nerves" Michael said and I shrugged him off as the front door opened and Carlos entered without knocking.
My brother seemed to tense up at the sight of my right hand but played if off by shaking his hand as he led us into his living room.
One of his sons, Dylan sat on the couch playing with the Wii and didn't acknowledge us right away.
"How's your friend? The shy one you use to always have around" Michael inquired and it took me awhile to realize he was talking about Aaron, or at least the old Aaron.
"I wouldn't know, we don't talk anymore. He's not shy anymore either, you'd be shocked if you saw him recently" I responded and my brother nodded.
"I always thought if you did have a right hand it'd be him" My brother continued and Carlos grew a humorous look on his face.
"Nobody has Moses' back like I have his back" Carlos defended causing my brother to laugh to himself.
"You sure about that?" Michael questioned causing Carlos to clench his jaw as he tried to keep his composure but I could tell it was hard for him to do.
"He hasn't done anything to prove he's disloyal. This was suppose to be us remember? But you walked away, Carlos is like a brother to me so no need to try and protect me" I responded and Michael nodded.
"What brings you by here anyway? I wasn't expecting you" my brother said showing his annoyance and I placed my hands into my pockets.
"I was wondering if you knew anything about our fathers drug dealing. Where his stash was and if he left any drugs behind when he was murdered?" I questioned.
Michael rubbed his jaw as he looked me over almost like if he was unsure on what to say.
My father wasn't a very good man and most of the time he didn't really care much about my siblings and I or my mother. He was a drug dealer who got murdered, and it was well deserved.
"You let James talk you into asking me this? I feel like that old man is using you Moses and as soon as he gets what he wants he's going to take his business back" Michael said growing defensive.
"He's not using me. Stop being so paranoid, I'm asking because I would like to know and it's been years so that shit is probably still sitting there unless somebody grabbed it" I responded brushing him off.
My sister in law entered the living room holding a tray of snacks she made and she sat it on the table before kissing my brothers cheek. Jackie then looked me over before she turned and walked away without acknowledging Carlos or I.
"Well I can't tell you where it's at. He left it to me, I'm the oldest" Michael defended and I sighed.
"No, Aubrey is the oldest and she doesn't give a fuck about this drug shit man. Just let me have it and I'll split my earnings with you" I try and compromise.
"We can't afford to split the earnings with anyone. What are you doing?" Carlos questioned and I waved him off.
"He's my brother and he has right to this drug shit. James doesn't have to know about this" I responded but I could tell Michael wasn't going for it.
"Bruv, I love you but you're letting this street shit get to your head. You must be mad if you think I'm going to settle for half when I can have all of it. You have money and you're making money working for that old dude. You don't need the drugs, you wanna be greedy" Michael accused.
"I'm taking what's owed to me. Our father is dead and you have no interest in selling drugs, everyone is being difficult for no fucking reason!" I snapped.
I don't even think I was that mad about the drugs but my brother was acting fake, all I wanted was a small favor and he was blowing it up into something big.
"I told you no so let it go. Go finish being a lil bitch and doing what your boss tell you to do" Michael responded as he took a seat in his chair.
I rubbed the top of my head and shared a look with Carlos seeing how this didn't go as I planned it would. I thought he'd just hand it over or tell me what I needed to know but now I was just going to have to take it.
"Alright bruv, I'm sorry. It was good seeing you, but we're leaving now" I called over my shoulder as I tapped Carlos and forced him to walk out with me.
"Moses. Please realize that you're changing and you can have all of the money in the world, but it's nothing if you're lonely and you can't trust anyone. You're turning into a selfish man" Michael said and I looked back at him.
"Am I? I like the man that I'm becoming, you can't spare everyone's feelings all of the time. The drug business wasn't made for the weak, you know that" I called as I walked out of his home.
Carlos and I headed to my car as I thought about Aaron and the last thing he'd said to me. He'd abandoned me like I wasn't shit, like I could be replaced and I began to wonder if I was really the one changing or if it was just the people around me.
Everything I did for Aaron may have not always been what he wanted but I tried to be there for him when he needed me but that wasn't enough for him.
He always wanted more and I was finding it hard to love the person that he had started to become, we'd outgrown each other.
-
I held my daughter up above my face as she smiled and drooled a bit. I tried to look for a doubt that maybe she didn't look like me, but she was my twin and after hoping to wake up from this dream, it was still a reality.
"I'm sorry I'm such a dickhead. You weren't planned but I'll always be here for you" I whispered bringing her down to my face and kissing her cheek. When I lifted her up again she was still smiling and making noises.
Carefully I sat up and rested her down on my lap before playing with her hands while she kicked me in the stomach. There was a light knock on the opened bedroom door and I looked up at Rowan.
"At least you admit you're a dickhead" she teased as she walked into the room and sat down on my bed beside me. She leaned down and kissed her nieces forehead before she turned her attention to me.
"Camry was telling our dad that the therapy didn't work well. Is it true you're gay?" Rowan questioned and I paused and eyed her.
"Is that was Camry told James?" I questioned hiding my nervousness and Rowan shook her head no.
"I overhead you both arguing and I was curious. That Aaron guy you're friends with, it was him wasn't it? I saw the way you were looking at him, probably wishing you could've been with him" Rowan teased as she folded her leg over the other.
"Well that's none of your concern" I responded and she did a fake pouty face before sighing dramatically.
"At least that's why you won't sleep with me and it's not the fact that I'm ugly" Rowan commented as I stood up and placed my daughter in her crib that sat in our bedroom.
I thought it was beyond obvious that Rowan wanted to fuck me, it wasn't because she liked me, it had nothing to do with me at all. Her biggest concern was her competing with her sister no matter what it was and the biggest thing they clashed over was there father's affection.
For the most part I knew not to cross that line and I didn't plan on sleeping with Rowan, that'd just get me into deeper shit and my life was already fucked up as is.
"You aren't ugly but that's not cool what you're doing. Why don't you and Camry just fight and get it out of your system?" I questioned watching Rowan push the strap of her tank top down.
"So you are gay?" She questioned and I shook my head and walked over pushing the door open wider incase someone walked passed.
"I'm not gay. I'd appreciate it, if you didn't spread it around either" I responded and she fixed her tank top with an attitude.
"Then what is it? I was even about to offer to fuck you with a strap if you're into that kinda thing" she teased and my nostrils flared.
"Get out!" I snapped and Rowan stood up and bit her lip as she walked passed me. I watched her leave before I rubbed my forehead growing frustrated.
I lifted my phone up like I was preparing to call Aaron but instead I ended up deleting his contact I wouldn't be using anymore.
"There's someone at the door for you, do you need me to take her off your hands for a little while?" One of the nannies questioned and I nodded my head and stepped to the side allowing her to take my daughter.
I walked out of the bedroom and down the long staircase. I could hear Camry and her father arguing all loud and shit and from the tone of her voice it was obvious she was close to being in tears.
The maid had already gotten the door and when she saw me she gestured for the door before walking away. I opened the door more to see who it was and I was shocked to see an old friend.
"Skye, what are you doing here?" I questioned the woman who's eyes filled with tears as she rushed to me and hugged me tightly. A little girl stood with her who was no older than five looked a little lost.
"You don't have any idea how good it is to see you" Skye sniffled as I instinctively rubbed her back.
"Where's Deejay?" I questioned and Skye looked at the little girl before she brushed her tears away.
"I haven't seen him since Star turned two. He had two other kids with different women" Skye informed me and I shook my head in disappointment.
"I haven't seen him if that's what you came here for" I assure and Skye looked down and sighed.
"I wouldn't be here if I had another choice. I'm struggling right now and I need money for a place to stay. I'll pay you back when I can, I start my job in two days and Star is in school so I don't wanna have to be moving around all of the time" Skye explained.
My eyes roamed to the little girl who looked like a replica of my once best friend. I gave a simple nod as I stepped to the side allowing them to come into my home.
"It's nothing personal but I'd just prefer if I made sure the money went towards an apartment rather than just giving it to you" I stated as Skye grabbed her daughters hand and pulled her inside.
Camry who was walking her father to the front door stopped when she saw Skye and I and her face turned up into a frown.
"Who the fuck is this? You have some nerve bringing some hoe into my house!" Camry yelled and her father grabbed her.
Skye went to explain but I stopped her. She didn't have to say shit to her because she hadn't done anything wrong.
"Moses what's going on, who is this?" James questioned with venom in his voice as he gave me time to explain.
"This is an old friend, we go back since we were teenagers. She's having a hard time and I'm going to help her out, is that cool with you?" I questioned sarcastically.
James searched my eyes like he was trying to see if I was lying or not but he eventually accepted my response.
"You need to calm the fuck down!" I snapped at Camry who was still going off and acting like she wanted to run up on Skye.
"You really believe him dad? This could be another one of his sluts and I'm trying so hard to make this marriage work" Camry said as tears slid down her cheek.
"Maybe we should wait outside" Skye offered but I stopped her and then walked over to my wife.
"If I had a side chick and a baby, I wouldn't be stupid enough to bring them here. You know how I told you stories about my friend Deejay? This is his old girl and his daughter" I explained.
Camry calmed down right away and got an unreadable look on her face as she looked Camry in her eyes.
"Give her what she needs and then tell her to get out of my house" Camry responded rudely as she turned and stormed up the stairs.
"Don't forget about the run tonight. I'll see you later" My father in law said as he fixed his tie and excused himself out the front door.
Skye and I stood in silence for awhile before she cleared her throat and looked around the huge house.
"I didn't know you and Aaron broke up. I haven't seen you in so long" Skye said and I looked away.
"Yeah, he's back in New York and I'm here. I have a little girl too, she's six months" I tell her and Skye covered her mouth.
"Wow and she's the mother?" She questioned referring to Camry and I nodded my head.
"Unfortunately that's my wife" I said with a slight chuckle. Skye seemed to try and take everything in as she followed me into the living room.
"You sure know how to pick them" she commented as I instructed her and her daughter to have a seat.
"I think with my privates and then end up ruining my life. Aaron doesn't want anything to do with me" I commented as I took a seat.
"Kinda makes the reason why we stopped being friends seem so stupid and small doesn't it? You're always so quick to cut people off and let them go" Skye said and I nodded.
"Well that's how it's suppose to be. I'll never be able to be vulnerable enough to let myself get hurt, part of me needs disfunction. I wished we could've worked out our friendship, if I could now I'd even makeup with Deejay" I said and Skye frowned.
"Don't. He's changed, he's a very bitter person and Star is better off without him" She said and I didn't bother trying to get her to elaborate.
I extended my hand to the little girl and she shyly took it allowing me to shake her hand as Skye watched.
"I'm Moses" I said introducing myself and she waved before looking towards her mother like she had to make sure it was okay to talk to me.
"I honestly thought you would've slammed the door in my face. I've been hesitant on coming for weeks" Skye informed me.
"You don't have to hesitate. As long as you're taking care of your kid, I got you" I remind as Rowan walked passed humming to herself, loud and obnoxiously.
Rowan bit into the banana she was holding as she winked at me and Skye furrowed her eyebrows but remained silent until she disappeared around the corner.
"Tell me you didn't" She whispered and I shut my eyes and shook my head. I hesitated briefly before I sighed.
"I need you back in my life. I don't have anybody anymore, you're the only person that's stayed the same. He's really not coming back this time, Aaron's not coming back" I said feeling myself growing teary eyed and Skye looked at me growing concerned.
I'd cut off all my hoes and now that I was left wanting to fuck, I was shit out of luck and forced to actually think about my fuck ups and pity myself.
Aaron Turner
My hand began to cramp up as I scribbled down notes and listened to my professor as he walked around the classroom during the lecture. He carried a basket of stuffed balls and would occasionally throw them at people who'd fallen asleep in the auditorium and they'd get embarrassed and at least pretend they came to class for a reason.
"Can I have a highlighter?" Kadence questioned me and I reached over into my backpack and pulled out a four different highlighters allowing her to choose one. A chick that sat behind me tapped my shoulder as well asking for a pencil and the nigga beside her wanted one of my highlighters.
"I think the fuck not. The first week I was nice, but I never get my shit back, so no" I whispered and they both smacked their teeth and flicked me off. I smiled to myself as the auditorium opened and a black guy entered looking lost.
The professor continued talking not acknowledging him and he slowly walked down the aisle in search of a seat. When he got to my row he looked at me and then at the seat my backpack occupied and I moved it to the floor allowing him to sit down.
He was a brown skin tone and his face looked really smooth. He wore his hair in short dreadlocks that were dyed blonde and wore black nail polish on his fingers. He dug around in his backpack for awhile before he pulled out what he needed for class.
"Problem?" The guy questioned as he looked at me and I awkwardly shook my head no and stared straight ahead as he clicked on his mechanical pencil. Kadence leaned over and licked my ear which caught me off guard.
"If you stare any harder, I might get jealous and assume you like him more than me" She whispered. I looked at her and smiled off her teasing as I returned back to my notes and occasionally checked the time on my phone seeing there was only ten minutes of class left.
"Do you know him?" I questioned Kadence in a whispered tone and she looked around me at the guy and stared hard until he looked up at the both of us and seemed slightly irritated at the staring.
"What's your name? If you don't mind me asking" Kadence said boldly as a stuffed basketball hit her in the face. She looked at the professor and clasped her hands together silently apologizing as he continued talking.
"Hassan" the guy responded occasionally looking over at my notes and copying down a few things. Kadence smiled and thanked him before she used the highlighter I gave her to go over a few things and mark up her book.
She was a hippie to me, very weird and one with nature. I would never imagine her being interested in some of the same stuff as I was, but she loved a lot of the things I did. Her personality and mine didn't really mesh well but for the time being I liked spending time with her.
"What are you doing after class boyfriend? Wanna go and smoke weed?" Kadence questioned as the girl behind her shushed us.
"My nephew is on campus with Saint until I get out of class. I'm gonna take him out to eat" I responded and she gasped.
"Which one? The one with the long hair?" She asked and I shook my head no as a stuffed baseball hit me in the face. Hassan played with his nose piercing as he looked at Kadence and I finding the situation funny.
"The oldest one" I whispered getting shushed again. I looked up towards the front seeing he was done with the notes and I began packing my stuff up as did everyone else.
"What's your name?" Hassan questioned Kadence and she glanced at me before she looked back at him and I could feel the awkward tension.
"Kadence" she responded and he nodded before glanced at me. "And this is Aaron, my fuck buddy" she continued and he seemed caught off guard but nodded going along with it.
"So he's not your boyfriend?" He questioned and I shook my head no. Hassan extended his hand to me and I shook if.
"Nice to meet you" he responded before he let go of my hand and went ahead blending in with the crowed piling out of the room. Kadence nudged me but I remained with a straight face knowing I wasn't going to complicate my life more.
"You pull lots of dick, is it easier?" She questioned and I shrugged placing my backpack on my shoulder.
"A lot of women like me but they want me to be straight. Not everyone is like you, I fuck with men and that bothers some people" I said as we left the building.
"I kinda feel special I'm the only woman you're sleeping with. You're the only one I'm sleeping with, I don't really trust any of these other guys" Kadence ranted as we walked beside each other slowly.
"Well I'm only sleeping with Amaru and you now. I'm done with that married nigga I was wasting time on. Never again" I said shaking my head and she laughed to herself.
"Good. Now all I have to do is steal you from Amaru and we can be a power couple, getting A's, being potheads and having good sex" she smiled as she breathed in the air outside like a weirdo and I draped my arm over her shoulder.
"If only it could be that simple" I responded as I spotted Saint and Knox walking towards us. My nephew looked around at all of the adults and walked extra close to Saint like he didn't want anyone to accidentally bump into him.
"A-A Ron!" He yelled and I grew embarrassed as a few people laughed watching him run to me and I laughed it off. Knox wrapped his arms around my waist in a hug as I placed my hand on the top of his head.
"Did Saint give you a tour? You might be coming to college with him here one day, I have no doubt you'll graduate before him" I teased cause Saint to get a stale face.
"Yeah right, he's in second grade. I might not graduate college right away but I won't be here for that long" he mumbled as Knox looked over at Kadence.
"Oh my god! He's so cute and he dresses better than you do" Kadence said as she pinched Knox's cheek. He brushed her hand off but smiled at her compliment.
"I look like my daddy" he proclaimed proudly and Saint smirked as he prepared to make a joke but I shook my head already knowing what he was going to say.
"It's good he's embracing it. The way his height is set up, he might hate him in the future" Saint said and Knox looked at him.
"Shut up idiot" Knox said as as scrunched his face up. His anger didn't last long because he spotted a lady walking passed eating a corn dog and his eyes followed her.
"Do you wanna come get food with us?" I questioned wrapping my arm around Knox's shoulder and Kadence declined.
"I'd love to but I have other plans and then a tutoring session. See you later, text me" Kadence smiled as she kissed my cheek and punched Saint in the shoulder before going on her way.
I led Knox away as Saint walked off campus with us becoming engrossed into his phone. He'd been complaining about how Erin and him were still having a problems. One of my biggest fears was that they'd have an ugly breakup and then of course I'd take my brothers side but I just didn't want to be in the middle.
"Let's get pizza. Kieran is gonna be jealous" Knox said as he pulled out twenty dollars from his pocket and I laughed.
"You don't have to pay nephew, it's on me. What made you want to hang out with me?" I questioned as we walked to my car.
"You never wanna hang out with me anymore and it makes me sad" he responded and Saint glances at me.
"You're a horrible person. How are you gonna do him like that?" Saint questioned and I flicked him off on the low.
"Look, it's not that I don't wanna spend time with you. We have some good times together but I wanna grow. When you're my age and I'm older, I doubt you'll wanna hang out with me as much because we'll be in two different life stages like we are now" I tried to explain as I opened the car door for him.
"But I'm fun" he tried to reason sadly. As I shut the door I looked at Saint who was shaking his head showing his disappointment and I ignored him. He barely even talked to his younger sister so he had no room to say anything.
We drove to a pizza place close to where he lived and Knox sat in the backseat the entire ride trying to convince me that he was a good friend and fun to hang out with. I guess I should cherish times like this because by the time he hit middle school he probably wouldn't even wanna be bothered with me as much.
"Knox, do you have a girlfriend?" Saint questioned and my nephew seemed caught off guard by his question as I looked at him in my rearview mirror.
"No. I'm not old enough, I rather watch Dragon Ball Z with my dad and brother " he responded and Saint nodded accepting his answer.
"He's eight and still calls his dad, daddy. Girlfriends should be the furthest thing from his mind" I tell Saint who brushed me off.
"Keep it that way Knox. Females are difficult and they're annoying" Saint mumbled. Knox sat up in his seat like he realized something.
"Uncle Ron, are you going to marry a boy or a girl?" Knox questioned as I parked. I thought about his questioned before I shrugged.
"I don't know, I don't wanna get married right now. Who do you think I should marry?" I questioned as he took his seatbelt off.
"Well Amaru's nice and he gives me money and comes to my games. But I knew uncle Moses first but he doesn't come over anymore and I don't know your girlfriend" Knox rambled.
"You don't have to call Moses your uncle anymore. He can be just Moses" I responded and Knox shrugged.
"He said at the wedding I can still call him Uncle Moses and he gave me some money. But mama said he's married now" Knox continued.
"Yeah" I trailed off thinking about it. Saint looked at me briefly before he offered to take Knox inside but I declined and got out of the car with them and headed into the pizza place.
Knox had brought along an action figure and looked around at everything. I'd gained a lot of respect for my brother when it came to fatherhood, he never let his kids get to engrossed in technology and they actually did stuff and had a childhood that involved actually having to go outside and play.
Saint went to the counter to put in an order for a pizza while Knox and I sat down. I watched as he bent the arm on his toys and made sound effects before he looked up at me and smiled.
"Mamas having another baby" he said and I nodded. "I hope it's a boy, but everyone wants another girl" he said causing me to laugh.
"If it's a girl it would make your house even. But whatever it is you'll love him or her regardless and be a good brother" I remind and he nodded.
A loud popping noise from the back of the restaurant went off and I jumped as my nephew shut his eyes and covered his ears.
"Sorry! It's the oven, we're waiting on a new one" one of the waiters assured the customers. I placed my hand on Knox's arm and pushed it down some as he opened his eyes.
"It's the oven, nothing to worry about" I assure and he slowly nodded as I picked up his toy and handed it back to him. I moved to the seat closest to him as Saint returned and took the seat I'd occupied before.
"Knox I got just pepperoni, is that cool?" Saint questioned. My nephew remained silent as if he hadn't heard him and stared at the toy in his hand.
"I wanna go home" Knox stated as he looked up at me. Saint went to say something but I held my hand up stopping him.
"It was just the oven. Look around, nothing bad is going to happen" I assure and Saint scratched his beard.
"Eh, it's a bunch of white people here. Anything could happen" Saint mumbled under his breath and I glared at him silently telling him now wasn't the time.
"It's okay to be scared, you can't run from everything though. Let's just eat and I'll take you home, okay?" I questioned and he nodded his head remaining silent as I wrapped my arm around his shoulder.
"He thought it was a gun?" Saint questioned and I nodded. He sat back after that and I started to remember this was one of the reasons why I didn't come around anymore.
His parents worked so hard to get out of the game so that he and his siblings could have better and I was doing sketchy shit that I didn't want them involved with. I'd never put him or his siblings in harms way but it was best that I kept my distance, at least for right now, until things were better.
My phone vibrated from my pocket and I pulled it out seeing a message from Amaru. He wanted to see me and so I told him I'd see him in a few hours.
-
"What is the tea bitch! I've been calling you all weekend and you've ignored me and I was preparing to pull up!" Peyton yelled as she slung her purse into an extra seat before sitting across from me in a bar. I placed my finger to my mouth silencing her as a few people looked over at us.
"Don't call me a bitch" I responded dryly as I looked her over. She stared at me with a stale expression before propping her face up with her hands wanting to talk about how the wedding went but there was nothing to really talk about. I cut ties with some nigga who was now irrelevant and I wasn't going to talk shit about him or wish him bad.
"I'm ready to move on. I'm really single now, I was single before but now it's real" I tried to explain but she laughed at my explanation. I looked over across the bar at Amaru who was my ride and noticed he was talking to some light skin guy.
"You came here with him?" Peyton questioned and I nodded my head before sipping on the drink that sat on the table in front of me. Peyton looked over at Amaru as well which finally caught his attention and he flicked his tongue at her before puckering his lips.
"That man is fine as hell. I know he's gay but if you weren't messing with him I'd be trying to turn him out, even if it was only for one night. His waves are popping and I'm sure he gives good oral sex" Peyton responded looking at me as she raised her eyebrows up and down.
"He sucks good dick, it's almost like an out of body experience and he doesn't stop. He's a really freaky person, stuff I'd never thought I'd do, I did and I don't regret it" I said as I spaced out some.
"You're under a dick spell. That's what Erin thinks anyway because she thinks Amaru is forcing you to do all this stuff and that he's a bad influence" Peyton said and I shook my head.
"What do you think? I feel like I actually see him, the person he is on the inside. I really care about him, I wanna save him" I mumbled and Peyton leaned across the table and placed her hand on my shoulder sympathetically.
"I know Ron but you can't save everyone. I don't think Amaru is a bad person at all, he's genuine and he wouldn't intentionally hurt you but what he's doing is going to catch up with him eventually. You can't ignore that and you can't hide this from your brothers for much longer because they're getting suspicious. I just want you to be okay" Peyton said quietly.
"I hear you" I responded and she swung across the table slapping me. I looked up at her in shock and a few people looked over at us in shock including Amaru who eventually returned to his conversation minding his business.
"You can say that to Erin but not me. You aren't really hearing me, you're basically saying yeah whatever and continuing to do what you want. I don't want you to die!" She snapped and I looked down.
"I'm not going to die. You didn't have a problem with this before and anyway, my cousin already agreed to have my back as long as I don't kill anybody. Most of the time the places we go to are empty or low in number. I'm never at risk, we scope the area for a couple of days and we know who goes in and who goes out. It sounds worse than what it is, honest to god" I assure and Peyton picked up my drink and tossed the straw out of it before she drunk from the glass.
"I don't know Aaron I'm still not down with this. Even if you haven't been caught yet it could still happen and then what?" Peyton questioned.
"That's the thing. I've been doing this for a little while now and nobody is after me, only after Amaru and why? Because he doesn't take me with him when he does the big hits, he has his own crew for that. He lets me tag along on the petty shit. I'm not robbing kingpins or even getting involved with that and when I'm just with him I watch my surroundings" I explained and Peyton glanced back over at Amaru who had ended his conversation and stood up.
"He's never taken you to sketchy areas or put you in harms way?" She questioned as he walked over and I shook my head. He was a very calculating person and we hung out in neutral areas where there was cops or in a place heavily populated. He'd been doing this since he was a teenager so he must've been doing something right.
"Can I sit?" Amaru questioned and I glanced at Peyton who gave a nod and he took the seat next to me. The guy who was just talking to looked over at us before he rolled his eyes and turned back in his seat.
"What happened to that Zeke nigga you were just with? I could've sworn he was different from the rest, you actually let him sleepover" I teased and Amaru brushed his hand on top of his head.
"Shut up. If I really do take him serious you'll be acting all passive aggressive, you don't want me unless I'm popping" Amaru stated as he shifted in his seat. I tried to hide my laughter knowing that wasn't true, he wanted it to be true though.
"Yeah right. We have a good relationship right now, what if we date and it doesn't work out and then we end up being petty and hating each other. I don't wanna loose you too, I can't go through that again" I said being sure to say the last part quietly.
Amaru leaned over pressing his lips to my neck as Peyton watched us with a smirk but remained silent as she finished off the rest of my drink.
You always hear people talking about the emotional damage that certain relationships cause and I didn't think much of it until I realized that I had a different perception of what love was then what I did originally. It was something that was exhausting and even though I did love Amaru, the way things now were comforting. Moses had damaged me and it made hard for me to love other people the way I could before.
I wanted Amaru close because I depended on him a lot now but I never wanted him close enough so that he could hurt me.
"We're going to go to the liquor store to stock up, this bar ain't cutting it. Are you coming?" Amaru questioned Peyton which snapped me out of my thoughts. She was looking back and forth between the both of us like she was in love or something and I frowned and looked away already knowing what she was about to say.
"Aaron you're finally getting thick. You're not a twig anymore" she teased and I shook my head ignoring her weird ass. She laughed at her own childishness as Amaru looked me over.
"Stop being fucking weird man" I groaned getting up and Amaru and Peyton both followed me out of the bar. He slapped my ass as I clenched my jaw ignoring their mocking, I knew Peyton was just trying to gas me since she knew I'd been lifting weight lately.
As we walked back towards Amaru's car a familiar man leaned up against it. Peyton stopped walking and turned around causing me to follow her as Amaru continued forward not afraid.
"That's my one night stand. What the fuck is he doing here?" She questioned and I glanced back at the man realizing he was the same one Amaru had pointed out as Moses' right hand Carlos and had been the one who Peyton had slept with that night.
The image of him killing a man in the alley came back to me and I wondered what business he wanted now. He and Amaru exchanged words before he extended his hand to him for a handshake and Amaru looked it over.
Carlos eventually lowered his hand before he spit out the toothpick that was in his mouth and gestured to the car he was leaning on.
"I walked here from my apartment. You don't think he followed me do you? All I wanted was some good dick that night" Peyton stressed and I shushed her as I watched Amaru and him talk.
Their conversation seemed like a normal one, until Carlos punched him in the stomach. Amaru leaned over some and smiled as he stumbled back a little.
Carlos made a threatening gesture before walking away as Amaru waved at him. I waited for Carlos to get into the car he came in and drive away before I jogged over to help Amaru out but he pushed me off.
"I'm cool" he said standing up straight. "It wasn't anything serious, nothing to worry about" he assured looking between Peyton and I.
"Well it had to of been something if he showed up here out of nowhere" I responded watching as he watched his surrounding and pressed the start button on his keys.
"Moses came to see me about a week ago and I guess he didn't tell him what we talked about so he came looking for his own answers. I told him to mind his fucking business" Amaru laughed as he rubbed his stomach.
"Wait what? Why did he come and see you?" I questioned and Amaru looked around before gesturing for us to get into the car as we he jogged to the other side.
"It wasn't anything important or else I would've told you. We didn't talk long maybe a few minutes before he left" Amaru responded after he climbed into the car and shut the door.
"Do you think Carlos recognized us from the club? I'm starting to think what we saw wasn't as small as what we think it was" I said as Amaru pulled off. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye before in the rearview mirror at Peyton who was listening.
"You need to forget what we saw, don't bring it up. We didn't do anything, what happened is on him. I don't think he recognized you" Amaru stated as he made a turn.
"I'm not trying to bring it up but you said yourself that he does sketchy business all of the time and everyone he works with ends up dying, so I don't trust him" I remind and Peyton leaned forward.
"I'm sure Moses can take care of himself. I thought you told me you were done worrying about him?" She questioned and I looked at her.
"I am done. This isn't about him" I groaned and the both laughed at me. We drove to this liquor store and Peyton offered to go in and get drinks since she wanted food from the place next door.
I reached into my pocket and handed her a hundred dollar bill and Amaru and I watched her as she went inside. He cut the music that was already playing lowly completely off and rested his hands in his lap.
"What are you doing tomorrow? Wanna go see a movie?" He questioned seeming hesitant and I held back my smile as I shook my head.
"I can't. I'm going to go and see Malik, you can come if you want" I said looking over at him. He wrinkled his eyebrows and seemed to deeply consider it.
"I guess that's cool" Amaru said as he stared straight ahead and it became awkward as hell. He cleared his throat preparing to speak and say something else and I perked up some wondering what he was gonna say.
"Remember when we first met and I offered you a Xanax pill and you took it without even knowing me for ten minutes?" He asked and I rubbed the back of my neck wanting to block that memory out.
"Yeah I'm sorry about that shit. I was probably real high or whatever, I was going through a lot then and then I was hanging around Alex who didn't have my best interest" Amaru stated as his phone screen lit up and he picked it up from the cup holder.
"Speaking of Alex. I don't know much about him, how did you get involved with him?" I questioned prying for more information.
"That was my boyfriend" he laughed and I paused for a moment doing the math in my head before growing a disturbed look.
"We met when I was like fifteen and you're only a year older than me. Alex was like in his late twenties the first time I saw him, you were dating a grown ass man" I said in shock.
"Your point? He bought me shit, gave me drugs and had good dick and that's what I wanted at the time" Amaru shrugged. I didn't push further even though I had so many questions, I'd been with older women but that wasn't until I was legal.
Twenty minutes had passed before Peyton eventually came out holding a phone to her ear and holding bags in her hands. I reached into the backseat and opened the door for her allowing her to climb inside easily.
"Are you coming back to my place?" I questioned Peyton and she pulled her phone away from her ear and thought about it.
"Just drop me off at my apartment, I'll probably eat and then go to sleep. I know y'all probably just wanna fuck and drink anyway" She said handing me the bag of alcohol.
I ignored her as Amaru pulled off causing me to jerk forward nearly hitting my head against the dashboard. I clenched my jaw and looked at him as he pretended like he hadn't done anything and focused on the road.
After dropping Peyton off I double checked with Saint where he was at to make sure he wasn't home before I smiled to myself.
Saint and I were with each other most of the time but sometimes we just wanted the penthouse to ourselves. So one day out of the week one of us would be gone somewhere else to give the other one some time to be alone or bring a significant other.
After parking in the parking garage I climbed out of the car and pulled my shirt off as I jogged over and clicked on the elevator leaving Amaru to grab the vodka.
"You can't wait? Why are you getting naked? Not that I'm complaining" Amaru said with a smirk as the elevator doors closed. I shrugged holding my shirt in my hands as I watched the numbers climb.
Amaru looked me over but didn't say much as his gaze traveled to his phone that he held in his other hand and I sighed as the elevator doors finally opened.
Tossing my shirt over my shoulder I stepped out first and reached around in my pocket for my keys. My place was quiet except for the running fish tank I could hear from the living room and after Amaru stepped inside I shut the door and turned the top locks.
"Make yourself comfortable. I gotta get out of my clothes, I feel restricted" I laughed jogging up the staircase as Amaru walked towards my kitchen. I barely got my bedroom door opened when my pants were practically around my ankles as I stepped out of my shoes and tossed them into the room.
I cut the light on and looked at my unmade bed and my clothes that laid all over the ground. I leaned down quickly grabbing the clothes and throwing them into my closet before making my bed.
I didn't want to make it that obvious I wanted to fuck but at the same time I wanted to send the message. I looked at myself in the body mirror before smirking as I turned and walked out of my bedroom heading back down stairs.
"You been thinking about me Zeke? I been thinking about you" Amaru said with a slight chuckle into his phone. I paused as I stood in the doorway watching him sit on my counter with his back to me.
"It's probably because you post pictures on Twitter of your dick. I mean I like the pictures-" Amaru began before he glanced over his shoulder at me and I shrugged the conversation off as I walked over and opened the bottle of vodka taking a sip from it.
He wrapped up his conversation before he glanced at me again watching me drink from the bottle like it was water before he took in I was only wearing my briefs and a pair of socks.
"Did you really meet Zeke on that app?" I questioned and he scratched his chin and before he nodded his head. He took the bottle from me and took a few drinks before sitting it down and shaking his head at the taste
"Yeah, he helps me with some jobs from time to time. He's a useful fuck buddy I guess we can call it" Amaru struggled out and I nodded.
"So he is bae?" I asked and Amaru made a funny face as he jumped down and walked over to me before placed his hand on the back of my neck.
"You're bae, you just won't take me serious. Are you jealous?" Amaru questioned and I laughed out loud as I placed the top back on the bottle.
"I have people on the side so why would I be jealous?" I questioned and he flashed his braces as he looked at me turning on his charm. I leaned forward kissing him first and he pulled back some before pulling his shirt off.
My hands roamed down his body as I continued to kissed him deeper undoing his belt in the process. Amaru broke the kiss and I grabbed his arm ignoring the alcohol that was sitting out and pulled him up the stairs and into my bedroom.
Amaru pushed me back onto my bed as he pulled his shoes and pants off. I sat up on my elbows some lifting up allowing him to pull my boxers down revealing my erect dick.
I playfully moved my eyebrows up and down and he busted out laughing as he climbed onto the bed and leaned down running his tongue down my stomach
I looked up at the ceiling in anticipation as I felt my dick throb. I could feel his tongue getting closer and eventually I stopped him and he sat up and looked at me.
"What?" He questioned and I shook my head as I sat up and pushed him down onto the bed. I reached into his boxers pulling his dick out and he instinctively leaned back as I licked up the shaft of his dick before taking him into my mouth as I stroked the part that was left out.
"You rarely suck dick. You must really like me" he smirked as he played with his left nipple and watched me in fascination.
I sucked and stroked his dick until he laid back and started moaning lowly and I knew he was about to bust. I removed his dick from my mouth and licked the tip before sitting up but he aggressively grabbed me pulling me back down to the bed.
Amaru my lower lip before sliding his tongue into my mouth and I let a moan slip out while he played with my dick for a little while before stopping.
He reached around me grabbing my ass before breaking the kiss and forcing me to turn over. I hesitated briefly before getting on my knees as I stared at my wall.
I was expecting to feel his dick but I felt his tongue instead causing my eyes to widen as a moan slipped out. I don't know if it was because I'd drunken some alcohol earlier and I was a little less tense but for some reason I wasn't as against ass eating as I was usually.
The sensation lasted for a little while before Amaru sat up and without warning he thrusted into me causing me to fall onto my stomach as he placed his hand on the back of my neck.
My moaning grew louder and I wasn't able to suppress it like I normally could. I tried to sit up some but he pent me down as he continued to stroke into me.
My mouth stayed opened as I placed my hand onto the bed to gain some control but it didn't last long and I could feel myself falling deep into a deep bliss wanting to tell the nigga I loved him.
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Authors Note -
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