A/N- Please vote, comment, and share this story!!!!!! It would mean a lot. I encourage you to point out any grammar/punctuation errors. I do not own One Piece!!!!!! I hope you enjoy it!!!!! Please follow me!!
Warning: This chapter deals with suicidal thoughts and attempted suicide. Please don't read if you're not comfortable with that!!!!!
It's been three days since Law discovered that I had nightmares. That day he restored just a tiny bit of my trust in men, but it wasn't a lot. For the past three days, I've just been hanging around the sub and let my injuries heal.
There's nothing to do on this hunk of metal! I could talk to Law's crew, but if I'm only going to leave, I don't want to get attached. Law's always busy reading medical books or taking care of someone. The only time I really see him is a night.
Speaking of, my nightmares have only gotten worse. I haven't really been able to sleep. When I do, I only end up waking in the middle of a night. Law's probably annoyed with me. I always wake him up and he has to hug me and tell me that I'm not there anymore, that I'm safe. He doesn't even know what happened!
I just had another nightmare. This one was not like the others. This time it was not just a replay of what happened. This time I was part of Law's crew and I looked happy. Penguin, Shachi, Bepo, Law, and I were about to play cards when we were attacked by none other than the Kid Pirates. The battle was a tough one and in the end, Kid won. Law was severely injured, as well as everyone else in the crew and Kid kidnapped (XD) me. They came after me, but by the time they got there it was too late. Kid had used me until I died. The look on Law's face...
Luckily, for once, I hadn't woken up Law, but my sobs were getting louder by the second. I had to get out of there before I woke him up. I slowly climbed out of the bed and went up to the deck, careful not to wake anybody else as well.
I stood at the front of the sub, sobs tearing from my body. I was shaking, but not from the cold night. I was shaking because I was scared. I was scared that Kid would find me again. I was scared that I would be used again. I hated how weak I was. I couldn't stop them from what they wanted to do. I couldn't do anything. I was too far gone for even the twinkling stars and moon to help. Not even the ocean...
The...ocean...?
Suddenly, my cries stopped and I stopped shaking.
I could end this. I could end this pain right now. With my devil fruit, if I jumped into the water, I would sink like a rock. I'd never have to worry about it again. It would all be over.
Before I even realized it, I was grabbing the railing and lifting myself over.
I hate that I'm this weak. I can't even deal with this pain. I'm such a coward. I'm no pirate. I'm not needed here.
I was lifting my first leg over the railing when two strong arms wrapped around me from behind and pulled me back. As we fell onto the deck my cries came back full force.
Not even looking at the person now below me, I pushed my head into their chest and wrapped my arms around them as tightly as I could. In response, their arms tightened around me.
"Zoe-ya..."
Wh-what was I about to do? Why? Why would I do that?
I was shaking in Law's arms. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I couldn't control anything.
Law stood up, dragging me along with him and picked me up. I was still hugging him tightly, my cries so loud that they were more like screams.
"Room. Shambles."
I felt something soft below me and I desperately grabbed for Law when he started to pull away. I was suddenly engulfed in warmth and I finally realized that we were back in his room. Law climbed underneath the covers and immediately pulled me to him. He tightened his arms as much as possible and buried his face in the crook of my neck. I cried into his shoulder and when I thought it would never stop, my pain-filled screams turned into soft whimpers and finally, sniffles.
I felt so sleepy, but Law wanted answers.
"Zoe-ya, will you tell me what happened?"
My voice was hoarse from all of my screaming, so my reply only came out in a whisper. "I-I can't..."
Law's hand moved up to my hair and he started to run his hands through the long strands. "Yes, you can. Trust me, Zoe."
"I-I don't know how..."
"Start with who. Who did all of that to you?"
I tried to pull away from Law before I started, but he wouldn't let me. I couldn't even move an inch. I should feel scared, but I feel safe and warm.
"Law? Let me go..."
"No. I'm not letting you go. Not until I'm sure that you won't try it again."
Hearing Law's concern for my safety made me feel even safer and I relaxed and finally answered him. "Eustass Kid and his crew. That's who it was."
I felt Law's body tense but he stayed calm. "Why? Weren't you in that crew? What happened?"
I took a deep breath and finally gained the courage to speak about what happened.
"I was. The morning after I joined, I was on the deck looking at the ocean. Some of the crew members snuck up behind me and cuffed me with sea stone. I'm a devil fruit user so as soon as it was put on me I couldn't really do anything. All of my energy vanished. I would have sensed them when they were behind me, but I already trusted them and I let my guard down. Stupid, isn't it?"
Before Law could even answer, I continued. I needed to get this out before I lost the courage.
"They picked me up and took me to the room I was given. They threw me on the bed and left. Then Kid came in."
I paused, almost unable to continue, but Law was still running his hands through my hair and his other hand was rubbing my back gently. It silently encouraged me to continue.
"He un-cuffed me, only to cuff me to the bed instead. He...he cut off my shirt. I did the only thing I could do. I screamed for help. I was rewarded with a slap. I screamed again, this time I was punched. I kept screaming until he punched me in the face knocked me out."
Law's hands stopped their movements and I could hear him holding his breath. No doubt afraid of what he would hear next. For the first time since I started, he spoke up. "He didn't rape you did he?"
"He did. When I came to, he was still there. I was still cuffed to the bed and I was so tired I couldn't even talk. The only thing that I could do was cry silently as he did what he wanted."
Law finally let out a breath and even in that, I could tell that he was angry. His hand left my hand and joined the other one to angrily clutch my shirt.
"I'm gonna kill that bastard the next time I see him."
"That's not it."
Out of shock, Law's hands lost their grip and I could finally move away. I didn't go far. I just moved away from him and turned my back towards him, but I still continued.
"The next morning, one of the crew members walked in. I thought he was going to do the same thing as Kid, but it was worse. All he did was beat me and when he had enough he choked me until I passed out. A few hours later, someone else came in. It went on like that all day, for a year."
Now that I wasn't near Law I couldn't tell how he reacted. However, I could practically feel his fury from behind me.
"The day you found me was my one-year anniversary. They had a party to celebrate. They came in one after the other, never giving me breaks. It went on all day and when everyone had a turn they threw me off the ship. I stumbled into the nearby town and into that alley and then you found me."
Finally, my tears came back and my eyes were stinging from the constant crying. I was tired of crying. I was tired of being weak. I was...just plain tired. My tears started coming full force as I screamed out my thoughts. "I'm so weak!!!"
Law's arms were around me again and he was shushing me and whispering kind words in my ear. "No, you're not weak. You went through all of that and you're still here. Besides, you have a bounty. You can't get one if you're not at least a little bit of a threat to the government. But, that explains everything. Why you were so happy outside. Why you wanted to hear stories of our travels. Why you were so hesitant to sleep in the same bed as me. I'm sorry, Zoe-ya. I truly am."
By the time I calmed down again, I was too tired to even keep my eyes open. So, with Law behind me, arms around my waist, I fell asleep feeling safer than I ever had before.
Time Skip
I woke up to an empty bed.
Honestly, after last night, I thought that he wouldn't let me out of his sights.
After looking in several places, I found him leaning against the rails on the deck. I walked over and stood next to him. Without looking at me, he wrapped an arm around and pulled me to him, setting his chin on my head. "Zoe-ya, will you join my crew?"
Wait...what?
He wants me to join the crew? Why?
"Why would you want me to join your crew?"
"There's just something special about you..."
.............
No.
No no no no no no!
NO!
This can't be happening. That is the same exact thing Kid said to me. I-I can't.
I broke out of the embrace and backed up. "No, I'm sorry. But, I can't join another crew. .Since we've already passed the last island, just drop me off at the next one."
With that, I turned around and walked into the sub. I closed the door behind me and went to the part of the sub that no one goes to. I sat in a dark corner and cried, not even noticing the multitude of spider webs that, normally, would've made me scream.
I couldn't join Law's crew. I don't know if I'll ever join another crew. I still don't trust them. Last night was an exception. I don't belong here, not after what happened. And for Law to say the exact same thing as Kid? I freaked out.
Time Skip
It's been a week since I told Law I wouldn't join the crew.
I haven't spoken to Law since then. I haven't been eating properly and I'm losing weight. I'm just not hungry anymore. Even though we haven't spoken, he gives me a glare every time I don't eat or worried glances when I feel weak from lack of food and sleep. I haven't been able to sleep either. My nightmares have gotten even worse. Instead of me dying, Law dies. I haven't been sleeping with Law. I found a random corner to sleep in.
I still haven't bothered to really talk to the rest of the crew, since I'll be leaving tomorrow. I try not to think about it. I don't really want to leave, but I can't stay.
Time Skip
I'm leaving today.
We have about an hour until we reach the next island.
I'm packing what little stuff I have into a bag I found. A book, an extra outfit, a couple thousand berries I collected, and...an old jacket Law gave to me. It still smells like him.
I stuff everything into the bag and lay down on the bed that Law and I used to share.
Half an hour later, Bepo's voice echoes throughout the sub with the speaker system. "Everyone, we have reached the island and are docking now. Get ready."
I grab my back and sling it onto my shoulders. I take a deep breath and let it back out in a sigh. Still reluctant to go, I head up onto the deck.
Once there, I realize everyone, including Law, is on the deck and they're here to see me leave.
I walk to the front railing and look at the island.
It's small compared to most of the ones I've been to. There is a small town filled with buildings in the center. The town is surrounded by forest, except for the large path leading to the town from the beach. It looks like a nice place.
I turn around to face everyone and I am surprised to be met with looks of longing. Longing for me to stay, to be part of the crew, except Law. His usual smirk was gone, but there was no longing. No, he was frowning. It took up his entire face and hid the features that made him, well, him. I ached to see him smile again, or smirk again, but I couldn't.
I looked straight at Law and said, "Thank you for everything that you have done. Even if I didn't want to be saved, you did, in more ways than one. For that I'm grateful. Thank you."
I gave everyone a small bow and jumped off of the sub onto the beach, without a warning or a goodbye.
To be Continued...
A/N- Thanks for reading!!!! I hope you liked it! Don't forget to vote and comment!!!!!!! Let me know what you think!!!! I still have one more part left!! Let me know if you want it!! I hope it wasn't boring when Zoe was telling Law what happened, considering you already know. I tried to make Law's reactions believable. Please let me know what you think!!!