Last time on SGBDABN: But I was ready to admit it...........
I'm in love with Sean Kingsley.
Dear Journal,
I was buzzing as I stood outside of the door to the auditorium. I had 5 minutes before I would make my first impression to these little nuggets and nervous excitement pumped my heart. This was going to be my first impression and it needed to make an impact. My hands shook and I closed my eyes trying to focus on slowing down my heart rate. I needed to calm down.
"Girl are you okay you look nervous you're never nervous I know that this is a make or break moment in your career but it's okay you are not......." Ally started but I waved my hand to stop her.
"Ally you are more nervous than I am and you're only going to be in the crowd" I laughed.
"Yeah I'm just kind of excited all of those people know about you I mean when they were in spy school they learned all about you don't want to ruin what they think of you....."
"Not helping" I huffed my eyes still closed.
"Sorry, but at least we look hot" she said gesturing to our outfits. We were both wearing beautiful long dresses. Hers was blood red and clung to her body. She took like an hour to do her makeup and topped it with white stilettos.
"Yeah you look smoking too" she said looking me up and down and I just rolled my eyes
"Sure" I was wearing a strapless black lacy dress that clung to my curves before it polled at my feet. It was sleek and sexy, the type of dress I felt represented myself as an agent. See, the dress was exposing, but it only exposed the parts of me I wanted to be seem.
"Now I'm going to go, you got this and your are going to be great" she said then hugged me and left.
I sighed and made my way to the door leading to the stage. I felt my heart racing against my chest and I swung open the doors. The room silenced as I walked to the middle of the stage, before erupting in applause. Everything seemed like white noise as I approached the microphone. I smiled and waved as the crowd died down and blanketed in a silence. I scanned the crowd and tried to ignore the important executives on the balcony.
"Good Evening, I'm Thea as you all know," I paused for the claps that rained through the crowd again "...all of you were the lucky few who were able to pull through the harsh ways of spy school, there was 100,000 first then after the second cut there was 10,000, then 1,000 then lastly only 125 of you. You were the ones with the real talent you saw through the tricks and puzzles of and you deserve some appreciation for that" I was interrupted by one of the students who decided to give a holler.
"You young man do you think that was funny or necessary" I asked walking up to him. .
"Yeah, I mean you said it yourself we deserve some appreciation " he said looking at his friends laughing who were now pretending not to know him.
"So, by your means every time you eliminate a target you should get some reward then. Well I'm here to break it to you sunshine but that's not how it works in the real world. Once you graduate you're forced into the real world, you don't get stickers for every time that you do something right the only reward you get is getting to live one more day," I paused for the enormous amount of clapping coming from senior members not the students look scared shitless
"When I train you, there will not be a day when you are not aching and you're sore, true warriors are warriors because their training is fierce, harsh, and savage. A fighter feeds your body well, you train it, works on it. Where you lack knowledge, you study it. But above all you must believe you must believe in their strength of will, of purpose, of heart and soul." I paused to let that sink in.
The room was silent you could hear a pin drop.
"As an Agent people will tell you to fear, a storm. A storm they will call evil, violent. But in this agency you tell them, you are the storm"as I finished everyone clapped, forming a standing ovation. I walked off the stage and sighed. I had done it, I had finally given the speech that I had wished I could have done when I got mine. Ally and Freddy bursted through the double doors and wrapped me in a bear hug.
"You did so good" Freddy said
"You gave everyone goosebumps" Ally said into my shoulder
"Yeah but now it's time for us to celebrate" I said as I lead them them to the banquet hall.
When we got there is was decorated magnificently. It was elegantly themed with red and black everywhere. There was a large dance floor in the middle and one giant half-light half chandelier and my table was right under it.
As one of the waiters passed I grabbed a glass of champagne.
"Let's get this party started" I said downing the whole thing and a sat it back on the tray.
The night was filled with people congratulating me and talking future job options with the higher ups. Later in the night Ethan stumbled over to me, he reeked of alcohol.
"Oh babes, you're drunk. Let's go" I said pulling me to the hallway.
"Thea, I thought about what you said to be yesterday" he whispered pulling my by my hips to him.
"Yeah Ethan about that I was just playing with you I can't do anything with you" I said as Sean's note popped into my mind.
"C'mon Thea tell me honestly you don't find me the slightest bit attractive" He leaned in even closer as he brought his lips onto mine.
It took a second before I could even process what was happening. I pushed him back and he almost fell. I don't know what compelled me to do what happened next maybe it was the alcohol maybe it was the high from everyone praising me, I'll never know. I rushed back over to him and crashed my lips onto his even harder.
We moved in sync and I heard him groan. He began to kiss me everywhere slammed me against the wall again. I pulled away for a slight moment and then smiled at me then kissed me again.
He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. he started to carry me back to the dorms, but Sean's smile flashed in my mind. I felt a pit open in my stomach and I hit his shoulder to let me down. He slowly let me down, his furrowed blue eyes looking down at me.
"Look Ethan I know I probably shouldn't tell you this, but back at my mission I have someone we're not together but it's complicated" I said looking at his beautiful eyes but they were no match for Sean's though.
"I get it, how about we just 'date' until the end of the break then we breakup no strings attached think of it like a mission" he said not taking his arms from my hips. I considered it for a while, "Thea, since we were younger you've been my dream girl and now you say you're into me. I can't let you just go"
I knew it wasn't cheating because I wasn't even with Sean but it made me feel wrong. He had confessed his love for me and now for me to cheat on him would have made me the same bad person I always thought I was. I stepped away from him, and shook my head.
"I can't Ethan I'm sorry" I said before leaving him alone in the hallway.
I stepped out the shower pulling my hair into a tight bun. I pulled on a black jumpsuit and boots. As I made breakfast my mind wandered over to Sean and Ethan before forcing both of them out. Guys weren't my priority and I wasn't gonna let them distract me from the oppurtunity I was getting.
I grabbed my helmet and climbed onto my bike. They had the student area in a different place, so they wouldn't get distracted by outside forces. Once I arrived all the students stood still in shock as I climbed off of my bike.
"Stop talking and get in your formation" I said pulling my shades on and I watch them scurry into the lines.
"First things first you will ALWAYS address me as Agent Thea. Second our time here will be divided into a 3-part pyramid. We will be dividing you into three groups the fighters, the warriors, and the ones who just want to pass. At the bottom are the ones who just want to pass because they want to get a job that's not being an agent, they are okay in fights but could use a lot of work.
The fighters, are middle class, they don't know what they want to do, they do the first thing that comes to mind, and would be great by normal people standards.
Next are the warriors they are at the top these students are fierce and are most likely to become field agents, they don't act on instinct they think before they act, they are the best in fighting.
Now all of you will divide you into how you see yourself." As soon as I finished my last word they all move to where they think they belong.
"Good all of you think you know where you're supposed to be well I hope you're fight every single one of you will fight me and I will direct you to where you should be" I said and they all looked like they could pee themselves and it made me laugh.
"First lesson no matter how nervous you are don't let your opponents realize it. Keep your emotions hidden like your emotions are a sea and you build a dam" I said stretching "Now you come fight me"
Fast forward 3 hours and 125 fights later. 25 students were sent back for incompetency and everyone was out of breath except for me.
"Now there are 5 warriors so there are 5 groups each group will have 18 other members in the group. Each group has 5 people who just want to pass the rest are middle class. Your group is the closest thing you will ever have to a family. You are your group if you do good your group does good if you do bad your group fails. I'm going to explain how the competition will work tomorrow now all of you hit the showers, you stink and disgust me. Also, just a by the way I hope you like your groups because they are your new bunk buddies" I heard groans erupt all around me.
I smiled to myself and climbed on my bike and head back to my dorm.
When I pulled up I felt a text message notification in my pocket. When I read the message, I couldn't believe it. I thought my heart was being ripped out of my chest and I crumpled to the floor.
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Hey lovelies I'm in such a bad mood today but I hope all of you are doing amazing.
QOTC: So do any of you guys watch The Vampire Diaries?
AOTC: I did and it was the BEST show I have ever watched!!