I'm so, so sorry that I haven't updated this in forever.
~~~•••hhhhhh•••~~~
I've been consumed by stress and trying to be motivated again, but it's just so hard currently.
I'm at a point to where I don't know where to go or what to do anymore, and I have the mindset of a fucking 30 year-old.
Man, I asked for a few pills for a headache and I haven't received one yet.
I'm done trying, but I have to, I've been raised to keep trying, no matter how many times I get drained of my self-confidence and pride.
How easy do you think this is for me?
It's not, and I know it's not for you either.
But have you been driven to the point where Panic-Attacks happen so often?
And you can't even depend on people you used to try to give the world to?
I just can't do this anymore, is it too much to ask for a break?
To not see them on my wall, to see them loving someone else besides me, saying that they are 'their reason', that they 'love them', when really it was just me..?
Is this their way of telling me, 'hey man, you fucked up, so suffer from not making out with them'?
I've done so many wrong things, this is my punishment.
I'm just my one, major mistake which is all I ever think of anymore.
Is it because I let them in?
Is it where I didn't want them to do certain things??
I have no fucking clue, but why wont they just tell me?
Sorry for that vent/rant, sorry.
If you've removed this from your library because of the lack of activity, that's okay!
I understand, I deserve it.
But thank you guys for getting it almost to 1k views! I appreciate it!
You guys keep me going, y'know!
I was freaking out where I couldn't be on my phone ever since April-Fools.
(Not a Late April-Fools joke, I swear)
Little reminders/ideas for your Mental, Emotional, and Psychical health.
•Get some sleep.
•Take your medicine.
•Eat something to where your stomach doesn't hurt or growl.
•Drink plenty of liquids.
(no alcohol -_-, *grabs ur Smirnoff[ive asked so many times for Smirnoff that I'm surprised that my family hasn't disowned me yet], Popov, Tito's, Skyy, Grand Tenton, UV, Taaka, etc and throws it so far you can't hear its glass break* no)
•Do something you love, (ex: sketching, listening to music, doing makeup, taking pictures, admiring a scenery,) and if you can't do it alone, take a friend, family member, or your Partner (if you have one) along with you.
•Ignore that little voice that tells you awful things. Fuck that lil shit, let them go torture a rock or something. >:|
•If you can't trust yourself with being alone, have someone stay overnight with you, take a walk with you, maybe even do random little things that make you giggle and laugh until you shed a few tears.
•Watch a confusing show until you get the point of just one episode. And watch The Office (either the U.S. or the U.K. version, I prefer the U.S., but that's my opinion) if you like quirky shows.
•Attempt to relax and just stare at the ceiling or sky, get a message or meditate so stress won't be as bad if you're under a bunch of pressure.
^I hope those help^
It's 6 am and I don't feel okay, don't judge me.
6:01 am (Eastern)
April 10th, 2017
or
4/10/17
~Adam🐝🏳️🌈