poems and things

Venting

Do you ever feel invisible? Like people just see through you? I do. When people look at me, I'm curious what they think, if they think anything. Do they say to themselves, "Wow, she looks sad." Or maybe they just wonder how I go out in public looking "like that." They see my surface, not what lies beneath. They don't see the pain in my eyes, the hurt in my smile, nor do they hear the lies I've been fed. But take one look into my eyes and I promise, you won't just see my surface. You'll see the broken soul that lives inside of an empty shell. You'll see that each time I say "Im fine" and you believe it, I break a little more. You'll see my tears that Im now too tired to cry, the words im now too scared to say. The love I crave and the company I need. When I write, I pour out my heart, every last feeling I have that I want to get out, I type it or write it, but I don't say it. I do not verbally speak how I am feeling, because when I do, it's real. It's real regardless, but it only feels real when I speak it aloud. So I don't. Not that anyone would care to hear it anyways. You all may think im just that quiet, weird girl who doesn't say much, but im that quiet girl who is too scared to speak in a world that's never silent. Im that weird girl who thinks too much. Im that broken girl trapped in a past I can't escape. Im that scarred girl with blemishes on skin that should be untouched. Im that imperfect girl, craving a touch that feels like perfection in a world that destroys everything it loves.