My alarm clock emitted the same sound as it did every time. I dragged myself out of bed, my only motivation being Florida. We were going in three days, after all, so I was pretty excited. After getting dressed I went downstairs to the coffeepot. Now I didn't usually have coffee in the mornings unless it was Starbucks, but I wanted a hot drink, not my usual frappe. I put a Keurig cup in our coffeepot and waited for the flow of coffee to stop.
When it stopped I gladly grabbed the cup and took a long sip. Because I never had coffee from here, I recoiled. It tasted incredibly bitter compared to my usual at StarBucks. I went to grab some creamers and after that I was able to stand it.
I prepared some cereal and sat at the table. I'm surprised my mom isn't downstairs right now because usually she's up before I come downstairs.
After I finished, I heard yawning and looked to the stairs just in time to see my mom slowly making her way down here. I looked at her, obviously confused.
"Um, mom, aren't you usually up before me?" I asked, my eyebrows creasing.
"Oh, I have a new arrangement at work. Every Thursday I can work from home, and today I chose too." She said in a tired voice.
I nodded. It made sense. I went to pack my bag and grab my shoes, and I heard the bus pass by. I didn't care, because when I was the nerd, stereotypically I took the bus a lot. But now I just drive. I got into my car and started it up. I spent the rest of the drive jamming to Fall Out Boy. Yes I might be what people call badass but that doesn't mean I can't listen to music. I pulled into the school just as a song was ending and I got out. The staring that I got accustomed to is now gone, people have just accepted my existence, and believe it or not it was kinda weird now.
I walked into the school and went to put my shit away. I walked into the gym. Nothing happened today in gym, at least nothing interesting. As I made my way through the day I noticed Tiffany was a bit stay-offish. She didn't bother me, as she was probably embarrassed by what happened the other day. I shamed her, and shamed her hard. I did, however, catch her casting death glares at me throughout the school day. Today went fairly fast, and for this I was ecstatic. My only motivation today was Florida. It was all I could think about. Now that I think about it, something did happen today.
When I was walking into 4th period, a sealed envelope was on my desk. It would have had to have just been placed there because it was quite obviously meant for me. After putting my stuff down I grabbed the envelope and ripped it open. The noise caused a few people to look in my direction, but quickly divert their eyes and look away when I look their way. I read the letter.
Dear Faith,
You haven't seen the last of me. You may have duped me in the past but once a nerd, always a nerd, huh? I mean, you'll probably know who's writing this the second you start reading this, but I couldn't care less. Yes, it may have been very, very easy to stomp me out the last few times, but really, you ain't seen nothin yet. Parting is such a sweet sorrow, but think again, i'll see you tomorrow!
Kisses, Tiff
I already knew that Tiffany was the one who sent this. But, despite what she says, it'll be easy because her brain equals to one of a ostrich. (In case you didn't know an ostrich's brain is smaller than their eye) Whatever. When class started I took a picture of the letter and put my phone away before I got caught. After that, nothing happened. I drove home and decided to hang out at the gym to pass some time. I called Julia, telling her to meet me at the gym.
For two hours Julia and I punched, lifted, pushed, pulled, and pumped stuff before leaving.
I drove home to my house, and once again, saw that I'd be alone. I had no problem with this and just walked inside.
The door was unlocked. My mom wasn't home.
What?
I looked around. I saw a shadow move across my mom's room. I crept closer, not wanting to draw attention. I looked inside to see a middle aged man in what people would call classic robber attire. I was right behind him, unnoticeable, when I closed the door. I tapped the man on the shoulder. He turned around and when he saw me tried to fight me. I scoffed at his stupidity. I easily fought and defeated him and kicked him out of our house.
Quite literally, actually.
I wondered where my mom was. She said she was working from home, she must be at the store or something like that. I settled onto the couch, watching YouTube until my mom eventually came home.
"Hey honey. Did anything happen while I was gone?" She asked. I hesitated. It wasn't much of a big deal, since the guy was an idiot.
"No, nothing happened." I said.
She sighed in relief, as she did every day when she asked that question. The rest of the day was simply lounging around, watching television. Toward 10:00pm, I got bored with television, so I went into my drawers. I brought out my sketchbook, which I hadn't used in weeks. I looked through some of my drawings and smiled. Some of these had been from a while ago.
And before my parents got divorced.
I grabbed a pencil and drew a self portrait.
Even though I absolutely sucked at drawing, I still drew for an hour.
I called my manager, to see if there was any fights tomorrow to pass the time.
"Yes, we have some time tomorrow at 5:30. Up for that? My manager asked.
I nodded. "Sounds great, better go tell my mom. Bye."
And with that I hang up. It feels better now that my mom knows about the fights because it feels like I don't hide as many secrets from her. Note that I said as many. *Nudge Nudge*
I fell asleep that night finishing an episode of 13 Reasons Why.
******************
Since I decided to change from the beeping sound to the radio, it wasn't so abrupt this morning. I woke up, feeling slightly more refreshed. I went downstairs already dressed in a black crop top and faded ripped jeans.
I didn't grab coffee this morning as I went straight to the toaster and popped in two slices of bread. After a moment or two or waiting, a ding went off and the toast popped up. I grabbed the toasted bread and grabbed the peanut butter. I spread the peanut butter onto the toast and sat down.
When I finished the toast I went upstairs, brushed my teeth, put on makeup, grabbed my bag, and grabbed a pair of combat boots. As a finishing touch I added my felt black bomber jacket. I opened the door of my black car and sped away to school.
I arrived at school and parked. When I got out Julia was there.
Going through school I was so distracted I didn't even notice that we were assigned homework in 3 classes.
Well, shit.
When school ended I walked right out like fire was on my heels. It was Friday, after all, so who wouldn't? I drove home and got on my fighting gear. A Nike sports bra and black leggings that went down just below my knees. Since this was comfy, I spent the next two hour in it before driving to the gym, texting my mom saying I had a fight.
When I got to the club I lifted some weights for warm up, and walked up to the ring. The bell dinged and within less than a minute I had him pinned to the ground. After the fight I collected the money I won and went home.
When I came home, my mom saw the money and gawked. "You get that much from one fight?" She asked.
I shrugged. "Yeah, I do. I've been fighting for 3 years now, I have a pretty good college fund and enough spending money left over. You could say I'm fairly rich."
My mom closed her mouth. "Well, that's a good way to make money if you win all the time."
I furrowed my eyebrows. "Mom do you think I won at all when I started? No. I trained, my fuel being the shit people gave me when I was a nerd. I don't have that fuel anymore, but thinking about it over and over and thinking about how I could hurt them gave me a new power source. Chill, I've never hurt anyone but Tiffany." I casually mentioned the last part.
My mom seemed to anger at the last part. "Tiffany? You mean Tiffany Wilde?" She asked. I sighed and rolled my eyes. "That's the one." My mom sighed in annoyance.
"I know her and her mom. And may I say Tiffany is a total bitch. I know it's weird for me to say that but I definitely know where Tiffany gets her attitude." My mom finished. I smiled in agreement.
Anyway, because of the fact that I was tires and that I wanted this day to end, I flopped into my bed and the darkness took over my sight.
*********************
I loved waking up on Saturdays because you can wake up whatever time you want. Because of this, I slept until 10:30am. Still feeling groggy, I walked downstairs and made pancakes.
After eating those I went to get dressed and I went to Julia's. I spent three hour with her, and eventually we went to the gym together.
Sometimes when I'm ecstatic I'm filled with adrenaline and have the urge to punch something. Of course this was done in happiness, but I always have that instinct. I know it's crazy, a lot like the entirety of me.
That night I thought about something I'd wondered when I first changed my image at school. I am still the same person. Why didn't people just do away with the clothes and still treat me like shit? I know I'm happy with the way they treat me but I've always wanted to know. Did they know all along, or were they intimidated by me? Was I just a vulnerable person they could count on to get their hatred out? I felt the second option was more likely. But, my questioning brain was finally put at temporary rest when the comforts of sleep overtook me.
Sorry I haven't updated in a while now! I was busy this week with homework, my one English teacher always gives us homework! #thestruggleisreal
Anyway I just wanted to say thank you for 8 thousand reads and over 300 votes! I swear I started crying when I saw this book getting so many reads.
I love you all so much for giving me a chance on my first book. You guys are a light in my life and I don't honestly know how this book got this way.
Xoxoxo,
Grace <3