・・・ xviii ・・・
The next day, he woke up from the usual nightmare.
He blinked.
Outside the window, it was snowing again.
Half-awake, he reached for his phone and looked at the date and time.
Saturday. 2:03 p.m.
He placed it back and turned to stare at the ceiling.
As he did, he was reminded of a thought.
The winter party.
It was today, this evening.
He closed his eyes.
He thought about sleeping until morning arrived.
・・・ xix ・・・
... Or at least, he had.
He did not understand.
He could not understand.
Why am I doing this?
The question echoed in his mind countless of times with every hesitant step he took.
Why? Why? Why?
"Why? Why? Why?"
He tugged at his scarf as he pulled out his phone from his pocket.
The letters and numbers flashed on the screen.
Saturday. 6:57 p.m.
He was standing outside the school gates,
in the middle of the freezing snow.
Night was beginning to fall.
Around him, students his age were entering the campus with an excited buzz.
Why? Why? Why?
Slowly, he looked up.
There was a banner strung over the plaque bearing the university's name.
Six words.
'Welcome freshmen, to the winter party!'
・・・ xx ・・・
Despite all of the invitations that he had declined, he had ended up coming.
Why? Why? Why?
He had not intended to go.
He had not intended to come.
Twenty minutes ago, he had left his apartment without any reason.
Without even realizing it,
his feet had led him there without his notice.
"Ah, really?"
He did not feel like himself anymore.
For a moment, he simply stood there,
looking at the flood of people going inside.
They were laughing. Talking.
He shook his head.
—This is stupid.
He turned around, about to go back.
But it was not before someone called out to him.
"... Ao-kun?"
・・・ xxi ・・・
A familiar voice.
He knew who it was before he even turned around and saw her.
Hashimoto Rie.
She was wearing the same green muffler today, he noticed.
Rie blinked a few times, approaching him tentatively,
acting like she had not expected to see him there.
She probably didn't.
One feet away, she paused.
"You... came," her voice sounded incredulous. Surprised. "You actually... came."
He didn't say anything.
For a moment, there was a silence.
Then suddenly, Rie burst into a wide grin.
"This is great, Ao-kun! You must be freezing, already," she said softly. "Everyone is waiting inside. Let's go in."
He froze.
For a moment, all he could do was stare at her familiar smiling face.
There was a warmth reflected in her bright eyes.
"What are you going to do?"
This was the part where he was supposed to refuse.
This was the part where he would say that it was simply a mistake.
The part where he would turn away and leave.
But that was not what happened.
Instead, he found himself giving her a single nod.
"... Okay."