Dear diary,
Oh boy, this is great. Pip is back and he's awful nice. He always hangs around me, after school that is. They made him go back to fourth grade seein' all the time he missed what with bein' in hell an all, but that's ok.
I met him at the park one day and he had a big ol' grin on his face, like he knew somethin'. He told me he saw Kenny today and then I knew what was goin' on. He knew that I liked him and I thought he was gonna make fun of me for bein' a fag like everyone else, except of course Stan, Kyle, Tweek and Craig and the girls, but he was actually nice. It turned out he wanted to help. He told me all about how you shouldn't be to eager an all but somehow I didn't think It'd work on Kenny, but when I tried it it worked a little bit, he talked to me more than usual. He didn't ask me out or nothin' but he was more friendly.
Pip took me to this place in the woods, the next day. He showed me this cave that had a portal to hell in it. I didn't wanna go back there but he insisted that it wouldn't be as bad this time. He took me to Satan, who was actually a pretty nice guy. He offered to bribe Kenny by stoppin' bringin' him to hell all the time. I wasn't sure what he was goin' on about but I didn't wanna bribe Kenny into datin' me.
Then he brought me to Damien, who was tellin' some sorta story about angels cryin' or somthin'. Pip seemed to really like him. I got home because I didn't wanna get grounded. Pip was to busy with Damien to realize I left. I think that's all I have to say today.