Chapter 17 –Side Effects
I woke up the next morning feeling terrible, I don’t think I’d ever felt this bad. My whole body seemed to ache and I just felt so weak, every time I move it seemed to drain me of energy and I’d been up half the night feeling like I was going to be sick. My mum had bought me up a glass of water and a slice of toast although I hadn’t eaten it; these side effects really were the worst part of the chemotherapy.
“Daisy, you need to eat something, I know you probably don’t feel like eating it but you need to get something down you” My mum said sitting on the end of the bed and moving the hair out of my face like she used to do when I was little and ill. I groaned and shoved the pillow over my head, why did I have to have a stupid brain tumour? Had I done something so bad to serve this? I could tell it how it was easy to become depressed when you’re going through something like this; it’s really hard to find anything good out of it.
“Do you want me to call Harry? I can see when he’s around you light up” She said, and I shook my head, I didn’t want him to see me like this, I was a mess and I knew I would probably feel unworthy enough to be with him when I was around someone as amazing as Harry.
“I don’t want him to see me like this” I told my mum and she frowned before kissing me on the forehead and walking out of my room, leaving me to my own thoughts again. I got up to go to the toilet and then washed my face letting the cool water soak up any impurities. I grabbed my favourite blanket and dragged myself downstairs, by the time I reached the bottom every muscle ached and I just wanted to curl up back in my bed although I didn’t because I didn’t have enough energy to climb the stairs again; it felt like my own personal Mount Everest.
I turned the TV on and lay on the sofa relaxing again, someone had already been watching the TV on the MTV channel and I left it not bothering to change the channel. Not much was on, an episode of Teen mum was just finishing so I waited for something else to come on. There was a five minute MTV news programme on so I shifted positions and watched it.
“Most fans of One Direction will be aware that heartthrob member Harry Styles has found his match in girlfriend Daisy Stone, but sources close to the band have claimed things are not all what they seem with Daisy. Many fans spotted the band leaving a hospital in London with Daisy and people are claiming that she is undergoing treatment to treat a brain tumour. We wish Daisy the best of luck with her treatment, but what will happen to the Darry relationship as Directioner's are calling them?” a news reporter spoke while showing a picture of Harry and Liam helping me when we were leaving the hospital yesterday.
How had they found out I had a brain tumour? Surely it was confidential and private to me and now the whole world that I was going through hell and was just another sob story. I’d been trying to avoid anything like this when I was at school but this was just ten times worse because instead of the rumours being passed to every student it, was being passed to every fan of the boys and there were millions worldwide. My head began to throb as my forehead creased and I groaned.
“I can’t believe they found out, I’m so sorry Daisy” A husky voice said behind me, I snapped my head in the direction and saw a troubled Harry looking back at me. He walked over and pulled me into a hug, I hadn’t known he was here.
“I’ll make sure nothing else about you will get out Daisy, I’m sorry it did. You shouldn’t have to deal with that at the minute” Harry said standing up and taking his phone out of his pocket before walking out of the room.
I got that fans liked to know what was happening with the boys, but did that have to include a personal fact I was still only just dealing with myself. Harry’s voice was getting louder as he spoke to someone on the phone getting angry, I knew that without Harry being my boyfriend I wouldn’t have to deal with this publicity thing, but I don’t think I would be able to cope without him being here for me, he was the gravity keeping me grounded.
I felt myself becoming queasy and I knew I was about to throw up. I quickly got off the sofa and ran towards the toilet passing Harry in the process where I just made it to the toilet in time. Someone – I presumed was my mum- came and held my hair back and rubbed my back which helped me slightly, when I thought I was okay I stood up and flushed the toilet before turning around expecting to see my mum, instead a curly haired boy who just happened to be my boyfriend was staring back at me, I wished he hadn’t seen that.
I washed my face and brushed my teeth slightly getting the disgusting taste out my mouth before I began to walk back to the sofa. Harry had an arm around my waist as he helped me and out the corner of my eye I could see my mum watching us closely. Once we returned to the sofa I turned to face Harry before speaking.
“I’m sorry you had to see that” I spoke, resting my head on the cushion while my legs were across Harry’s lap.
“You don’t need to apologise Daisy, you can’t help it. I just wish there was something I could do to stop this” Harry said, I could tell how much it troubled him which only made it ten times harder for me to stay strong.
“Harry no- you do enough by just being here for me” I said truthfully
“I can’t help but think if I wasn’t famous and didn’t have paparazzi following my every move, I could help you even more” Harry said out loud, although it sounded like he was asking himself it as a question. I just shook my head and told him it wouldn’t make that much of a difference, although I could tell he was still thinking about it.
We lay there for at least another hour not saying anything just enjoying each other’s company; I tried but failed to fall asleep because my mind had other ideas.
“Daisy, I’ve been thinking” Harry said breaking the silence, I had a feeling this wouldn’t be too good.
“If we pretended to break up then the press would leave you alone. I’d still be your boyfriend if you still wanted me to, I just think for the minute while you’re going through the treatment it will help you. I’ll still be here for you as your boyfriend we’d just have to be secretive about being together in public” Harry said looking at me waiting for a reaction.
Did I really want that? Did I secretly want to date Harry instead of being in a public relationship? Part of me said no and that I still wanted to be his public boyfriend because I hated to lie, but another part of me agreed with him; I’m sure it would take away a lot of stress and technically I still would be dating Harry, just secretly.
“As much as I love being your public girlfriend I think I agree with you, but only if you promise we’ll still be together” I said, I really didn’t think I would be able to handle if he went away.
“I promise I’ll always be here for you, I’ll never leave you alone to fight this battle” Harry said, I grinned and wrapped my arms around him giving him a hug.
“How are we going to fake the break up?” I said hoping he already had an idea, I’m pretty sure he had one.
“I think I should tweet it, it will the quickest and most reliable way to get it to the fans without any Chinese whisper effect, I’ll say that it was a mutual agreement and that we will remain friends” He said already tapping away on his phone, I nodded in agreement, no one could argue if it came from his official account. He typed a message before turning to show it me before he could send it.
‘@Harry_Styles: Guys, I just want to let you all know that Daisy and I have decided to end our relationship. It’s a mutual agreement and we’ve decided to remain friends. Please respect Daisy at this time, she’s the nicest person I’ve ever got the opportunity to know X’ Harry had wrote, it was on numerous posts because it went over the twitter word count; it got the right message across.
“It’s perfect” I said handing him back the phone so he could sent it. Within seconds people were replying, Harry read a few out. Most said that they were disappointed we had broken off because we were a really good couple. I smiled at the support and as I did my phone began to ring, I quickly glanced at the caller ID before answering.
“Hey Liam” I said putting it on speakerphone so Harry could hear too.
“I’m sorry that you and Harry broke up, what did he do this time?” Liam asked and I chuckled slightly at the judgement and Harry’s expression.
“Oh, actually, you see we haven’t actually broken up. We thought it was a good idea to pretend to break up while I’m having treatment because of the press and stuff so we’re dating secretly” I explained, the line went quite for a minute before I could hear other voices in the background.
“I told you they wouldn’t actually break up” Niall’s Irish accent said and I just looked at Harry who shrugged.
“Whatever” Zayn said in defeat, they had obviously been discussing this.
“Thank goodness flower!” Louis said practically shouting down the phone making me flinch and Harry smirk at my reaction.
“Sorry about that, Louis wanted to put you on speaker” Liam said again
“I’m on speaker too, thanks for assuming I’d done something wrong by the way Liam” Harry’s husky voice said in a joking way.
“Uh, yeah, sorry about that Hazza” Liam said apologizing.
“What are you two doing?” Louis said shouting again; I really had no idea why he felt the need to talk as loud as possible.
“Not much to be honest” I said truthfully, we were just sat on the sofa not really doing much.
“Great, we’ll be round in five to keep you entertained” Louis said hanging up the phone before I could reply leaving me no choice, not that I minded I knew they put a smile on my face. I still felt pretty empty and drained, Harry handed me a glass of water and waited for me to take a sip, reluctantly I rolled my eyes and let the cool fluid run into my mouth, Harry looked pretty pleased with himself when I handed him the glass back.
Sure enough five minutes later the doorbell rang and Harry went to open it, I’m sure he felt like this was his second home. A few seconds later they all came walking in- except for Louis who was galloping, I was surprized to see that Danielle and Eleanor were there too although I was happy to see them. One by one they all came over and gave me a hug, Harry made them promise that they would quite that we were still dating as he didn’t want it to get out, they all agreed and sat down where we all chatted for a while.
An hour later and I felt myself drifting off to sleep, all this laughter had taken its toll on me and as I rested my head on Harry’s lap and my legs over Niall and Zayn, I couldn’t help but grin even though I felt terrible .