Before I knew it, three months had passed since that day I first snuck out to the rehabilitation room. With these extra practice sessions, it didn't take long for me to soon ditch the wheelchair, then finally, ecstatically, the crutches too. Gouenji-sensei diagnosed that I had successfully made a full recovery, but despite Hiraga and Yuuichi's congratulations, I did not feel satisfaction at my accomplishment whatsoever. When I confided in Gouenji-sensei about how I did not feel up to my pre-crash self despite the diagnose, he made a throughout examination but concluded that I was indeed in perfect condition. However, once I told him that I used to be a dancer, he suggested that the reason I probably felt much weaker than before was because I had not stretched or exercised for five months.
But that was only the least of my worries right now. Because I had been deemed well enough to be released, though in actuality they would still keep me around in the hospital to monitor my prosthetic progress, my top priority was to find a school that would accept me in the middle of the school year. Of course my first choice had been to go back to Yokato, my old school, but Gouenji-sensei and Hiraga pushed me to at least consider and apply for a few schools located regionally. I wouldn't have bothered because I had full confidence that Yokato would let me back in due to their scarcity in students, but Gouenji-sensei and Hiraga hinted that if I really were to return to Yokato, then they would also have to relocate to a hospital in Fukuoka in order to accommodate me, and so guiltily I found myself filling out repetitive application forms to random Tokyo schools.
Tengawara Junior High, Mikage Sennou, Raimon Junior High, Kasamino Junior High...
I sighed as I flopped down on the lap desk. This was absolutely pointless. It wasn't like I was going to accept any of these schools in the end anyway, for I already had my mind set on salvaging whatever of my old life I had left. Even if it meant disappointing Gouenji-sensei and Hiraga and making their family move for my choice, but it was their choice to work in the hospital, so they should be responsible of swallowing what they bit off. I on the other hand hadn't been given a choice.
A blonde boy jogged up to two players in juniper green on the television screen as shadows gathered in the air around him, cloaking the three players in an ominous shroud. "And Yoshida finally brings out his original hissatsu! How will Gassan Kunimitsu try to regain control of the game?"
Taiyou had lent me a couple Football Frontier tapes, and I had made it into the habit to play them frequently. The tournament's involvement with the loss of my family had a hypnotic effect that drew me to it. As I sulked in boredom and contemplated whether or not I should keep filling out the applications to give my doctor and nurse a false sense of hope, there was a knock on the door. "Come in," I quickly sat up and straightened the papers to make it look as if I had been seriously putting effort into composing them. I remembered to turn off the television right before the door opened.
Hiraga walked into the room with a tray of breakfast like she always did at this same time every morning, however there was an extra buoyancy in her salmon bob from the way she walked today, which I could not tell whether it was from the fact she thought I had been so diligently working on my applications, or because of another matter.
"Thank you," I smiled graciously as I accepted the tray and inhaled the delicious aroma. In reality there was only a small bowl of rice with various other small sides, but to me it tasted like heaven. It had already been awhile since my diet had been switched from hospital jellies to normal, light food, but I still retained the same amount of enthusiasm for it every time. Never again, I swore to myself, would I ever eat anything mildly resembling that of the accursed jello ever again if I could help it.
"Aren't you going to open the letter?" Hiraga's impatient voice broke my feeding frenzy, and I looked up at her blankly with a stuffed mouth. She pointed next to my bowl, where two envelopes laid in place of where usually would be a white water lily from my indefatigable guardian angel.
Don't tell me...!
I tried to quickly swallow my food, but ended up choking on it. After washing it down with a large gulp from the cup of water, I picked up the envelopes. The one on top was sealed traditionally with stamped wax, while the other... Upon seeing it, I completely forgot about the whimsical delight I had found earlier in a simple bowl of rice and promptly tore it open.
"No, the other-"
"Yes!" I shouted as I scanned the contents of the letter inside and felt my mood skyrocket.
Dear Suishou Hakuchou-san,
Yokato Junior High welcomes you back with warm regards. Please make arrangements of the day you would like to start two days in advance so that we would have everything prepared...
I paused, and my eyes widened as I realized for the first time how close I actually was to finally go back home.
"C-can I?" I asked Hiraga timidly.
She furrowed her brows and sighed "I really think you should reconsider, or at least wait after you send in those papers and get acceptance letters back from a few other schools, but if that's what you really want then I'm not going to stop you."
Her response, how she made no effort to put up a fight despite the weight of the sacrifice, surprised me. Pathetic, I thought instantly, but then realized that those were not my true feelings towards her noble behavior at all. Rather, I was confused. And that made me turn towards misdirected anger at how her maturity contrasted the selfishness I had tried so hard to justify.
"Why?" I couldn't help but ask.
My outburst seemed to catch her off guard. She thought over it as a few tense seconds passed between us, then finally replied, "It's your life, and if this really makes you happy, then I shouldn't be one to stop you even if I don't agree with your choice."
At this point I knew that I should just thank her and drop the topic, but I found my mouth to be quite disobedient. "You'll be leaving behind your home, just so that I can go back to mine. Doesn't that make you want to stop me from making this choice even a little?!"
I gasped and quickly shut my mouth, but it was too late, for my words clearly impacted her as much as I had unintentionally wanted them to. An expression of shock, disbelief, and even a little shame floated in her tangerine orange eyes, or was that of disappointment? I could not tell, for I was breathing heavily, scared of the consequences now that I had finally voiced aloud my true thoughts.
Why hadn't I just accepted her answer earlier? Now she'll be even more against the idea of me returning to Yokato Junior High. As I sat in mourning of my wasted good luck, I did not notice the gentle hand approach me until it laid on my shoulder. Hesitantly, I looked up thinking that I'd be faced with- actually, I didn't really know what to expect. I had completely been out of line earlier, and now I feared that she, too, would not hold back anymore.
But on the contrary, she smiled softly. When I met her eyes, I noticed the crinkle of sadness in her eyes. "I'm so-," Hiraga cut off my apology by holding a finger to my lips.
"I know. And I understand your frustration. But me and Gouenji-sensei are here for you, and we only want you to be happy after all that you've been through. We don't mind moving, if you really do decide to return to Yokato Junior High."
I sat, stunned for a moment. Then I promptly tackled her with a hug.
Time Skip
"Ah, good morning, Suishou-san. I didn't know you were coming today," Tsurugi Yuuichi smiled from his bed over a soccer magazine as he saw me open the door.
"Sorry to bother."
"No, no, you're always welcomed," he gestured to the chair beside his bed, "Come right in."
For some strange reason, ever since I bumped into him in the training room that day, we'd often see each other when we were there. Yuuichi and I had actually gotten quite close over these three months since we had met despite our age differences, and we would often take turns visiting each other.
"Let me guess..." he said, eyeing my ecstatic expression, "You're going to be discharged?"
"Yes!" I squealed, "I'm leaving for Fukuoka tomorrow!"
He flashed me a warm smile. A rush of guilt coursed through me, as I suddenly realized that even if Yuuichi was truly happy for me, he would still be stuck here while I went on. From what I could piece together from the details that slipped out of the talks we had, the only way to cure Yuuichi's cripple was with surgery, which his family could not afford. Before I knew it, words had tumbled out from my mouth, words that I would not normally say because they came deadly close to the glass shards we knew not to step on. "When I get better, I promise I'll find some way to pay for your operation."
My eyes accidentally flickered to his lame legs. A melancholic shadow came across his eyes, though the smile did not leave his face.
"You don't have to pity me, Suishou-san. I'm happy having someone to talk with these past months already."
"No," I insisted, grabbing his hand, "You don't have to deny it! I know that you'll never be truly happy unless you can get out of here." In the heat of the moment, my volume had worked its way up. I stared deeply into his eyes, my own set. I'll save you. I'll break your cage so you can spread your beautiful wings and fly.
I wasn't sure how long the silence that passed between us lasted as I witnessed a palette of emotions shift through his eyes. I hoped, prayed, that he would realize I held these words with a pledge, not pity.
He lowered his head. "...Thank you, Suishou-san."
A few more deep, taciturn moments went by before I suddenly realized that I was holding his hand tightly. "Sorry!" I blurted, flustered, as I quickly withdrew them, but the indigo haired boy held on. "Yuuichi-kun?" I asked, concerned, anxiety seeping into my voice, "What's wrong?"
Another brief pause elapsed before he finally raised his eyes to meet mine. The seriousness they carried caught me off guard. "I want you to hear me out seriously. I'm sorry I might rain on your parade, but this is something I've been thinking about," Yuuichi said slowly. A mixture of confusion and panic shot through me. What was he talking about?
"You mentioned about attending Yokato Junior High before right?" he continued, "I asked around the other patients and nurses and found out that Yokato was located in Fukuoka. But if you came from Fukuoka, why were you taken to the Inazuma General Hospital, located a whole region away?"
My eyes widened. This was a matter that I had always wondered myself, but never questioned. Perhaps it was because Inazuma General Hospital had better institution, or that I needed to be near the monitoring of Gouenji Katsuya, I always tried to tell myself. Until now, I had only dismissed it as a matter of something I didn't need to concern myself with.
"The car crash. The car crash was in Tokyo," I whispered. But hearing the words sounded like I was trying to rationalize with myself.
Yuuichi was talking faster now, and every word felt like another blow, unraveling the fake story I had tried to bury everything under. "Also, and please excuse me for bringing this up, both of your parents died right? Human experimentation is illegal without legal consent, and you for sure did not give the consent for your prosthetic operation. Not to mention, a minor cannot lawfully give consent. So who could have done so in your place?" Yuuichi's eyes narrowed, sending a shiver down my spine. "Sure the hospital might get past the law saying that it was the only measure they could've taken to save you from death, but who is signing the agreement, contracts, and bills for all the treatment that they are giving you?"
I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to pull back my hand, but he held firm. No, please stop, I don't want to hear anymore. Let me forget this entire discussion and keep playing the game of pretend. You can't get hurt in a world of lies, but a world of truth would leave you bleeding to death.
"Look, Suishou-san, just listen. I know you don't want to think about it, especially since today's supposed to be a happy day for you. But I'm only saying this for your own good."
I knew what the words would be before he even said them aloud. However I made no attempt to block them out, because the evidence was clearer than day and absolutely undeniable.
"Too many things don't add up. This is not just a coincidence."