~ Read Author's Note at the end~
Copyright © zylgnagnaba 2013
VALERIE’s POV
I am sitting on my bed, my back against the headboard and the duvet pulled up to my waist. I am clutching my arms on top of my stomach as I stare at a blank space, still sombre about what happened earlier. I didn’t even mind getting out with the girls for the supper, although my stomach is already grumbling. I just want to stay hidden for the rest of the night inside this room with only my lampshade lit up to keep my nerves calm.
Harry’s outburst keeps reeling inside my head. I’ve never seen him get furious that way before, so I am a bit daunted to see him again tonight. I don’t even know how to face him after that. I know it was my fault. Heck, I even know Harry was going to get mad at me if he finds out I driven a car, but my desire towards it overcame my fear of his reaction.
I wanted to cheer him up today and let him forget whatever that was that’s bothering him, but I seemed to make him feel even worse because of my impulsiveness. If I only listened to him…
“Knock, knock!” I hear a familiar voice from behind the door, cutting off my train of thoughts.
“Come in!” I yell.
The door flings open; revealing a blonde guy on his plaid knee-short pants and V-neck white shirt, holding a trey which contains of what appears to me are food and a glass of orange juice. I widen my eyes at the food like a hungry dog, trailing its sight as it gets nearer to me.
“Niall!” I sit up immediately once I see his blue eyes staring into mine.
“Dinner in bed,” He hails while he’s walking over to my bed. He places the trey of food to my bedside table and sits beside me on the bed. “How are you, Val—Vee?” He corrects himself, shaking his head a bit and I chuckle.
“Good.” I tell him. I truthfully am good now. Although I still am bothered by Harry.
“Harry told me to bring you food. He knows you’re hungry.” I smile at his words but I am bit upset that Harry didn’t bring the food himself. I was actually expecting him to appear in the room any moment before Niall comes in, probably to say his sorry and then I’ll say sorry and we’re good then. But no, he didn’t come.
“How’s Harry?” I manage to ask. I can actually imagine him still frowning right now. His lips pursed while crossing his arms together and sitting cross-legged too— very Harry.
“He’s pretty much calmed down now. Don’t worry about him.” Niall answers my question. He tries to make his voice soft despite of its huskiness in nature.
I only nod at him before my eyes dart bleakly to the duvet that’s covering half-part of my body. He stands to switch the light on to make the room completely bright before he grabs the trey and places it carefully in front of me, leaving the orange juice on the table. He brought sliced apple, haggis with turnips and mashed potato on the side. Yum!
Niall keeps a watchful stare as I devour the dinner he has brought. I feel like he’s still hungry too so I end up sharing the food with him before he starts drooling. We laugh once in a while in the middle of our mini-picnic that caused me to forget about Harry for a brief moment.
“Niall?” I start to say and he arches his brows, encouraging me to go on. “Aren’t you like bothered that you’re different among your bandmates? I mean, you’re the only Irish one. You don’t have tattoos, and most of all, you don’t have a girlfriend.” I point out before I chew a slice of apple in my mouth.
“Nope.” He says, popping the ‘P’. His answer is brief and firm, so I nod. “Everyone is different anyway. And who says I don’t have a girlfriend?” A playful and taunting smile swirls in his face that my eyes grow big in wonder and I gasp. Curiosity starts to creep up my mind as I recall his conversation with Harry yesterday about a certain girl.
“So, you do have a girlfriend?” I nod like a toddler, urging him to talk.
He only laughs at me and say, “No, I was kidding. I don’t have one.” And I nearly hit him with a pillow but he beats me to it, “But there was this one girl though…” He trails off and looks out to the balcony of the room.
“Yeah?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” He tells me while shaking his head. His meek expression tells me that it wasn’t a fond memory, but I really want to know about this girl. I can tell that she has this huge place in Niall’s heart.
“Come on, Niall. Tell me. You’re secret’s safe with me. I’m the best in keeping secrets.” I wiggle my brows at him and he laughs at me while shaking his head slowly. Yes, I’m the best in keeping secrets.
“It’s not a secret, Vee. I just really don’t like to talk about it.” He drifts away into a dreamy state as if he is ruminating with the memory. He smiles, he frowns, and then he shakes his head contemptuously looking in front of himself. For a while, I thought he just zoned out right before my eyes.
“Where did you two meet?” I ask anyway despite his previous statement.
Just when I thought he wouldn’t respond, “In Sydney… Australia.” He says in a low voice. He releases a downhearted sigh and his glistening eyes bore into mine.
“When?”
“Nine months ago. December of 2012.” The way he looks down at himself tells me that it’s a fresh wound and it takes a lot of his courage to open them up again. I feel like I am murdering him with the replays of the memory, but I can also tell that he wants to let go and explode.
“What’s her name?” I ask him while I shift into a more comfortable position in the bed. I sit up, crossing my legs, both my hands rest in front of me as I wait for him to speak. He is still sitting on the edge of the bed facing me, one of his legs bends flat in the surface of the bed while his other leg on the floor.
“Bree… her name is Bree. Bree Lawrence.” He whispers slowly and I swear I see his blue eyes spark at the mention of her name. On the other hand, my ears flap at the familiarity. I think I might have read or heard that name before. I just don’t have a clue as to how so I choose not to tell him. “Look at me, I told you I don’t want to talk about it, but…” He trails off, chuckling and shaking his head contemptuously.
I laugh with him, “Silly. You already started telling me. You might as well finish it.” I coo, shoving his arm lightly. “How did you two meet by the way?”
He laughs at the memory before he can speak again, “It was funny though…” He shakes his head yet again and giggle, “I jumped into her and I ended up bruising her hip. Oh damn, I can tell you she was really mad at me.” He tells me and both of us laugh. What a way to make a good first impression, Nialler.
“She was way even madder after I dragged her to a dark alley to hide from my crazy fans that were chasing after me. I was really scared, you know?”
I laugh even harder at his confession, “Are you shitting me?! Who wouldn’t be mad about that, Niall? Oh my god, you’re an idiot.” I slur while my stomach flutter as I continue laughing at him. “And what happened between you two?”
“Well, I liked her a lot, but then she didn’t feel the same so she walked away.” The grin in my face automatically drops and turns into a frown as I look at Niall. He tries to smile but I know it isn’t genuine.
“Bullshit,” Niall widens his eyes at me. “That’s not true, Niall. Who doesn’t like you? Well that girl is really blind if he just let you go that easily. That’s unacceptable!” My heart really aches for him. He has been single for years now and by the time that he finally laid his eyes with this one lucky girl, she blew it. That’s a very stupid move. “You know if I wasn’t dating Harry, I’d probably make you fall in love with me.” I tell him but he laughs dismissively. “I’m serious, Niall.”
“Yeah, Valerie. You’re one to talk.” He points at me as he giggles in his seat.
I laugh too because I know what he is referring to. I never really took him seriously; I always make fun of him.
I lean in to his ear, covering the side of my mouth with my hand before I whisper to him, “Can you keep a secret, Niall?” and then I pull away, sitting up again.
His eyes grow big before he nods at me.
“Okay.” I nod at him appreciatively. “You’re the only person I trust with this secret. I haven’t even told Eleanor or Perrie about this. So if this goes out, I know who to blame and kill later, okay?” He nods reluctantly.
“Uhm… I…” I look away momentarily, and then I fix my eyes towards his blue ones once again. “I think I’m gay.”
“What?!” He bounces on the bed, his eyes are intense that they penetrate to my head. “What?” He whispers cautiously now but the tone is still the same as to yelling. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah. “ I nod timidly and I fidget my fingers on my lap. I avoid his gaze but then he grabs my arms and makes me look straight at his face.
“Are you planning to tell this to Harry?” He asks me, his intense gaze can’t seem to be worn off before I could shake my head uncertainly and shrug. He retrieves his hands and stands up beside the bed. He paces back and forth, looking down at me in a very frantic way. “What would Harry think about this, Valerie? Oh my god, poor Harry.” He face-palms himself and look down at me again.
I bite my lip to hold my laughter but I can’t control it any longer. I wince to the bed, curling up like a ball, and rolling over as I continue laughing at him. I see him stop pacing as he looks at me with wide eyes, his mouth shapes into a perfect ‘O’.
“Oh my god, Niall!” I laugh even harder, wiping the tears from the corners of my eyes. I finally manage to sit up again and look at his mortified expression. I am still giggling as I struggle to speak, “Oh god, you’re so funny…” Giggle, “I must say,” Giggle again, “I am offended that you believe I was gay.” I laugh even harder, clapping like a retarded seal and roll over at my bed again.
“Dammit, Valerie!” He grunts and storms out of the room, leaving me all alone again. But I am still laughing, thanks Niall.
What would Harry think about this, Valerie? Oh my god, poor Harry.
That was so funny!
******
Everyone is already fast asleep when I feel something crawling down the skin of my forearm. I can barely identify what it is because of its light weight. It’s a bit ticklish and then it becomes itchy for my liking. My eyes squint and slowly flutter open due to the slight discomfort, looking to my side to ensure that the lamp is still switched on.
My eyes automatically widen when I see a big six-legged spider crawling on top of my arms and jumps to the duvet as I shuffle my arms, screaming my lungs out. Everyone in the room stirs and wakes up hastily at my hysterical mode.
I jump out of the bed quickly and run towards Perrie still squealing. The room lights out and I see Sophia standing by the wall near the switch, rubbing his eyes aggressively.
“Spider! There’s a big spider in my bed!” I scream at the four girls, pointing at my bed before I hug Perrie for dear life. My heart is pounding, screaming to escape from my chest. My breathing is heavy and I am so frazzled.
I feel another hand rubbing my back, “Hey, calm down Val… Calm down.” I hear Eleanor’s easy voice soothing me. I am still shaking against Perrie’s embrace. I look at my bed once again, and the big spider is gone. My mouth flings open as I see Sophia emerges back to the room from the balcony, dusting her hands off.
“How… How did you do that?” I ask her in awe and she beams at me sleepily.
“Can we now go back to sleep?” She doesn’t answer my question.
“Hell no, I’m not going back to that bed.” I protest and they snicker at me.
“We can switch beds, then.” Sophia suggests, her smile is genuinely plastered on her face as she looks down at me.
“Uhm, no…” I cringe and shake my head aggressively, “That bed is disgusting, you don’t want to sleep in there.”
“Well then, maybe Sophia wouldn’t mind if you two share a bed for tonight.” Eleanor says as her stare travels from Sophia and then to me. I look at Perrie who’s genuinely delighted with the idea too.
“Sure, why not? I don’t mind.” Sophia tells us and I suddenly feel awkward. I pull away from Perrie before I crawl my way back to stand up to the floor. My chest is still thumping when I decide to straighten my shirt. I force to brush off the image of the bloodcurdling arachnid that terrorized my sleep earlier.
I only nod timidly at them and I see them all smile at the corner of my eyes. Eleanor switches the lamp off at my previous bed after I switch the lamp on at Sophia’s. They all know I couldn’t sleep with lights off. Sophia then fixes her bed and crawl to her side of the bed. I eerily slide in her duvet and lie in there with her, making sure I wouldn’t have contact with her skin, or else I would jump out of bed again.
I check the time on my phone, it’s already 13 minutes past one in the morning and I still couldn’t sleep. I am still paranoid about the big insect that might attack me once I go to sleep. I even fear to have nightmares about them. Gosh, I am really freaking out right now.
I feel Sophia stir at my side and she whispers, “You can’t sleep?” but I do not answer. I glue my sight at the ceiling and impatiently wait for drowsiness to attack me finally.
“You want some milk?” at that, I look at her expectant smile and I nod timidly. It wouldn’t be bad. I really think I need some milk to calm my nerves.
So we both head down to the kitchen of the holiday home. I sit on a bar stool near the kitchen island and wait as Sophia peruses the fridge for a carton of milk. She pours a generous amount to a pot and heats it under a stove. She doesn’t wait for the milk to boil to keep it lukewarm and she pours it on two different glasses. She smiles as she pushes one glass on my side and I take it casually.
“Listen, Val…” She starts to say and my eyes immediately shoot to look at her while my hands are wrapped around the glass that’s in front of me. “Hmm…” She continues timidly and looks down at the table for about three seconds before she can completely look at me again. “I know you still don’t like me, and I’m really trying my best for you to like me because you mean so much to Liam. And I love him, so you mean so much to me too.”
I know I must react sympathetically at her words, but instead I feel pity towards her. She looks and sounds pathetic to me. She doesn’t have to tell me these things for me to like her. What does she expect? In just one blink of an eye, I will finally realize that I should give her a chance? She doesn’t have to tell me these; rather, she has to prove herself not only to me but those people who cares about Liam too— that she will never break Liam’s heart again like what she did to him in their high school. If she made him trust her that easily, it would be hard for me.
“Look.” I place my palm over the table and I stare at her emotionlessly. “We were going perfectly fine before you said things. But I’m glad that you bring that up because I can finally state the obvious. Yes, I don’t like you.” She widens her eyes as if the words surprised her.
“And I am not even looking forward to like you, not now, not ever. And to be honest, I am still hoping that Danielle and Liam could get back together. Hopefully, that’s soon because I can’t stand you anymore.” The words fell out of my mouth venomously and I stare at how she looks down to herself, starting to weep helplessly.
“I can perfectly see the difference at Liam’s eyes when he looks at you and Danielle. He looks genuinely happy when he was with her. With you, I don’t know. Yeah, maybe he likes you, but not enough for him to offer a marriage proposal. Liam admitted to me last night that he was a week away of proposing to Danielle when they broke up.” She looks up at me this time and a tear escape from her bloodshot eyes but I don’t feel bad. “Too bad, but yeah I was happy when he told me that.” I know once I mention to her about the proposal, it would scrape her heart and stab her deeply. I just really have to say it.
“If you’ll excuse me,” I hop off the stool, leaving the half-empty glass of milk on the table. I start to walk out of the kitchen, but Sophia is still frozen in her spot. I stop in my tracks and turn around to look at her again, “Oh and by the way, thanks for the milk.” She shoots her eyes at me, I smirk at her and then I start to walk away again.
When I reach the upstairs dining table, I spot a shadow standing alone at the balcony. He’s hood is pulled over his head but I know him enough to tell myself that it’s Harry.
******
HARRY’s POV
It’s already one in the morning, but I still can’t sleep so I sneak out of our room and take a walk around the holiday home and stop by the balcony. It’s still summer but the weather here in England is unpredictable. I am glad that I wear sweats and hoodie to warm me up against the peaceful gashing of wind.
I heard Valerie let go of a horrified squeal in their room earlier before I even start walking, but I fought the urge to burst into their room and find out what put her on edge. She never ceases to worry me and I just really want to take a break, especially now that I finally realize that it’s really Liam that she likes. It’s not that I think Liam would do something about it. She’s in love with Sophia and he respects our friendship. I guess my ego is just hurt too. I’m hurt that I can’t get her to like me as much as I like her, love her.
I shudder once I feel a warm hand snake around my waist and embrace me from behind. Her warm cheek presses against the nape of my neck as she keeps me close against her body—just like the way she embraced me this morning, actually yesterday morning now. I do not react with her grasps but deep inside, I am really affected. I know I would melt any moment now, but I try to be steady.
Valerie.
She’s really stupid, stubborn, impulsive, and clumsy, you name it—but I love her. But she doesn’t love me back.
“Harry, I’m sorry…” Her voice is muffled as she speaks against the back of my shoulder. Her grip becomes tighter and tighter but I don’t complain. Her warmth is still my weakness, and I love her. I think I wouldn’t be tired to admit it to myself. “Please, forgive me already.”
I don’t say a thing yet.
“Please, I can’t stand it already. Please talk to me.” She murmurs and I cringe at the sound her voice pleading for me. I just really want her to walk away until I can finally manage to accept the fact that she likes Liam better than me. So that we can go on with this pretend relationship as peaceful as possible.
But I can’t stand it. She’s really my weakness. So I turn around and finally have the guts to face her for the first time after she walked out of the lounge earlier. She looks at me with those puppy-eyes adorning her face and her lower lip is nipped between her teeth. She looks so adorable, yet I can’t help but be tight with her.
I grab both her arms gently as I look down at her to examine her face. Her arms are still fondling my waist before I notice that her eyes are still swollen from crying. Her nose puckers up once I stroke her cheek with my forefinger.
“Did you cry, Valerie?” I ask her apathetically. The last thing I want her to notice is my soften emotion when I see her. I want her to realize that I am still unhappy with what she did. I feel bad yelling at her, I didn’t mean to do that. But she really worried me as heck.
She nods timidly as an answer and she looks down at the proximity between our feet.
“Why? Because I embarrassed you in front of our friends?” I defy her and chuckle.
She shakes her head hastily and she looks up at me, “Nooo.” She frowns as she holds out the word. “Because you’re mad at me.” Her answer takes me aback. I didn’t even expect her to say that.
“I’m always mad at you, Valerie.” I chuckle humourlessly.
“I know… but this time I really made a huge mistake.” She surprises me again with another hug, squeezing me against her warmth. “I’m really sorry, Harry…” She grumbles over my shoulder and a grin involuntarily blooms on my face. I can’t fight the compelling force of her body towards mine that my arms find their way to wrap around her automatically, rubbing the small of her back.
I didn’t say a word but I think she already gets the message when she pulls away a bit from me and look me in the eyes. Her brown eyes sparkle as she smiles up at me that I answer with a meek one. She leans in closer to me and take me off-guard with a kiss that turns into fervent one when I kiss her back.
******
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah!
Well anyway, I just would like to ask you if you already have formulated theories about Valerie’s secret. Do you want me to give you hints or you all are just going to wait until that part where her secret will finally be revealed?
Hmm. Fine, I’ll give you one.
What was that object that Harry found in Valerie’s old flat when they went there to get some of her stuffs? That object is related to her secret. Lalalala
Anyway, please don’t forget to vote and comment, please?
That’s all I ask, please? And do follow me to keep you updated. Okay?
Love,
Glyz <3
PS: Dedicated to Harry_styles_fan_fic! Thanks for the votes. xx
PPS: Valerie's reaction to Sophia on the sidebar! :')