He didn't know what he was doing when he walked out of that house.
Luckily, I did.
He didn't really have anywhere to go, but I had managed to convince my mother to let him stay with us.
It was difficult. My mother isn't the easiest to convince. But she soon gave in once I told her he really didn't have anywhere else to go.
From there, we spent the next couple of months figuring things out.
There were a few instances where I told him that it might just be easier if he did go back to Sacramento, and that maintaining a relationship long-distance shouldn't be as hard as our long-distance friendship.
"No," he would say, "I refuse to leave you. No matter how hard it is right now, it'd be harder away from you."
So he stayed with me, camping out in the living room. Despite the obvious issues it presented, my mom loved having him around. He'd help clean, cook, and he started a movie night tradition that took place every Monday night.
After the whole fiasco with his uncle, Bobby and I didn't fight again. It was hard to find reason to fight once I discovered just how far he was willing to go for me; it was nice to know I wasn't alone on that front.
So we adapted: went to school, stayed together, tried to enjoy life. And that we did.
On top of Bobby, though, other things came about that changed my life drastically.
Murphy, for one.
We started to actually become friends.
There were days when the three of us would all hang out and enjoy each other's company. And Bobby had no issues about it at all. In fact, their friendship was being repaired in the wake of Murphy's change of heart.
My perception of Murphy was shifting drastically as well. I was actually starting to see him as a friend rather than an enemy or something to fear. I discovered quite a bit more surprises regarding him, including the fact that he had a four-year-old sister.
We had all decided to hang out at Murphy's house to play video games and sleep over to give my mom a break.
We had shown up at his house mid-afternoon to see his mother preparing to leave.
"Ma, where are you going?" Murphy had asked as soon as he saw her.
"There's an emergency at the hospital, one of my patients is in labor, I have to be there. I was just about to call you, but you're here so I can leave sooner than expected. I need you to watch Sara for me."
At that precise moment, the little redheaded beauty ran into the living room with boundless energy and a loud voice, "Murphy, you're here!"
She immediately floated into his arms, and they graciously accommodated her tiny figure.
"Hey, Sara, yes, I'm here," Murphy said in a hushed tone. His smile was warm and huge. I had never seen him smile like that until then.
"Any telling when you'll be back?" Murphy asked his mother, Sara still clinging to him like a koala on a tree.
"No, I don't know how long it'll take, it's labor, different for everyone. Just be careful, order pizza, don't blow anything up."
With that, she quickly greeted Bobby and I before rushing out of the door.
Murphy seemed sort of down about our ruined plans, but he sighed and looked at Sara and said, "Well, kid, meet Bobby and Caleb."
I smiled and waved at her, her previous face sending waves of warmth throughout my entire being.
"Hi, I'm Sara," she said in a sweet voice, hiding her face shyly. She was one of the cutest things ever.
"Murphy, I didn't know you had a sister," I said to him, still gazing at Sara and her shy smile.
He smiled and said, "Yeah, well Sara is a whole lot to talk about. She's a very demanding four-year-old." He poked her playfully and she giggled, her clear laugh ringing like a bell.
"Well," he looked at us and sighed, "What do you guys wanna do now that she's here?"
Bobby immediately said, "Let's go to a park."
One look at Bobby and I knew he was ten times more mesmerized by Sara than I was. It was likely because he hadn't seen her since she was a baby, so seeing her a little older may have triggered something. Or it could have been Sara's undeniable charm putting him under her adorable spell. Either way, his eyes were lit up in excitement.
Bobby didn't even give anyone enough time to answer. He simply grabbed Sara and headed out the door, cooing and giggling at her on the way. I could hear her little bell of a voice singing, "Yay! Yay! Park! Park! Park!"
Murphy looked at me, mirroring the dumbfounded look on my face. "Off to the park we go, then," he huffed.
At the park, Bobby was all about Sara. He didn't leave her side for anything, not even her desire to go on the jungle gym. He was right up there with her, not a care in the world. Meanwhile, Murphy and I simply sat on a bench, observing it all with quiet amazement.
Murphy decided to make his amazement verbal when he said, "Wow. Bobby is really attached to this kid. He wasn't that attached when she was a baby, I'll tell you that."
I sighed and thought back. He had said he wanted kids, and that being with me hindered the possibility. It kind of saddened me.
"He really likes kids. And he wants kids someday, so it makes sense that he's good with them."
Murphy nodded, and I had a feeling he could sense the dread in my voice. He spoke low, "And what do you want?"
I turned to face him, his bottle green eyes full of concern. He knew it was a sore topic, so he was treading lightly.
"I. . .want. . .I want Bobby to be happy. That's all that really matters," I spoke, hoping the hesitation wouldn't be interpreted the wrong way.
Murphy nodded, not looking to push me.
But he did, in a way.
I had taken that silence to think. About what I really wanted.
What I had said was true. I wanted Bobby to be happy above all else. But I was still human, and I had to take my wants into consideration, too. The only issue was that I didn't know what I wanted.
Did I want kids? I wasn't sure. I didn't want Bobby to be unhappy, but if we were to hypothetically stay together and adopt, I didn't want to find out that I really wasn't up to it. I was sure Bobby would be an amazing father, but I was more unsure of myself.
It was then I realized that Bobby was influencing my decision more than he should.
And I had to make it myself.
But what about Bobby?
*****
Before I knew it, it was October 1st. Bobby's birthday. And some unseen force was looking out for me by putting it on a Saturday.
I, of course, planned a surprise party.
To Bobby, it wasn't much of a surprise.
A few days before the party, I was setting up the date I'd be taking him on as a means for the party to happen.
"What do you want to do?" I asked him during lunch one day.
He shrugged, taking a bite of his burger, "I don't know. I don't really care. As long as we get home in time for the party you're planning."
I had to double back. I could tell I looked horrifying, as some pasta was hanging out of my open mouth.
"How'd you know about that?" I asked, trying to regain composure as well as the pasta in my mouth.
He chuckled and wiped away pasta sauce from my face with a napkin. "I'm not stupid, Caleb," he said endearingly, "Plus, I know you love me. I'd be surprised if I didn't get a party."
A scowl appeared upon my face, but looked weird paired with my growing smile. I threw my clean napkin at his face and said, "Okay, you cocky S.O.B."
His response to the napkin was simply a wrinkle of his nose and a sexy grin. He leaned forward and spoke low, "I will gladly accompany you to a movie while people prepare a party that I will so graciously pretend to know nothing about."
I smiled, annoyed and amused by him. "Perfect," I said.
*****
The party went well, and sat with Bobby better than I expected. I didn't expect much to be a problem. Except for the guest list.
As soon as we passed the inevitable "surprise!" (which Bobby flawlessly reacted to), we were immediately approached by the one guest I was wary of inviting.
"Hey, Bobby," Megan said with a smile, which was barely being held on her face. Anyone who didn't know her wouldn't have noticed that the smile was strained. Unfortunately for her, both Bobby and I knew her very well.
I invited her out of kindness, and out of the hope that things could be even better than they already were. There was also the fact that she had finally reached out to me after months of not talking. I had gotten a text during school that simply said: I forgive you.
I had deleted her number out of grief, but after some thinking I figured out it was her. I found her after school to talk to her about it.
"Megan!" I yelled after her as she was rolling towards the front parking lot in her wheelchair.
She turned quickly, and as I got closer I saw that her expression was entirely unreadable, which placed a seed of fear within me. I could've been wrong about the text being from her.
"I, uh. . . I got your text," I said, trying harder to read her face.
"Yeah," she said low and emotionless. I knew it was deliberate; she made it very clear she had many emotions regarding me, not many of them positive.
"Um. . . thank you. Really, I feel terrible and I know how much it must have hurt you-"
"I saw you guys," she cut me off, letting a twinge of emotion show in her eyes, "It was last month."
"Really? Where?"
"You guys were at the coffeehouse near my place. You two just looked like you were hanging out. But the way he looked at you. . . I recognized that look. It was the look he used to give me. And I would've been mad if I didn't see your face. You looked at him the way I wished he would look at me. With more love than anything else in the world. And you guys looked happy. Laughing. Smiling. I couldn't be mad at that. If I had to feel some pain in order for you guys to earn that, then I don't really mind. I've experienced a lot of pain."
She spoke with noticeable pauses, enough to compose herself enough to just say the next sentence. I could see she was broken up about it all, which is why I embraced her after she finished.
And I tried to hold her as tight as I used to before I ruined it all.
So by the time she reached Bobby at the party, she was okay.
"Hey, Megan," he smiled awkwardly, obviously surprised. He gave me a quick glance of wide-eyed shock before turning back to Megan and saying, "I'm so glad you're here."
He hugged her gently, a cautious hug that didn't hold enough pressure to set off the ticking time bomb he thought lived within her. Afterwards, she handed him a small box and said, "Happy birthday."
He took the box wrapped in shiny purple paper and thanked her before she simply walked away.
He turned towards me, smile gone and eyes wide once again.
"Are you nuts?"
My face scrunched up in confusion as I replied, "No, she wanted to be here and I wanted her here. Things changed, we're good now."
"Yeah, you two," he hissed, trying not to draw the attention of the party-goers, "But Megan and I never sorted things out. For all I know, she could have a murder plot under that blonde head of hair and you're the key."
"I doubt that's true, come on, she seems really sincere," I said, trying and ultimately failing at not sounding whiny. I grabbed his hand gently and whispered, "She was your friend once, too, you know."
He heaved a heavy sigh and was about to say something when I heard my mother's loud voice beginning a round of the birthday song, cake in tow, coming from the kitchen.
Bobby squeezed my hand and went towards the swarm of people surrounding the cake, taking his place in front of it. I joined in halfheartedly, as I saw Megan approaching me from across the room. The song rang in my ears, something joyous and melodic; but the look Megan gave me was ominous and almost sour.
She mumbled low under the cheers and voices as the song ended, "You know I am happy you guys are happy, right?"
"Yeah, and I appreciate it," I responded, not liking the implications of a follow-up statement in her voice.
"Well, just remember what I said. The way you look at him," she mumbled to me, trying to be wary of Bobby, who was cutting his own cake for people.
"What about it?" I asked, now suddenly aware that I was gazing at him with admiration.
"It's dangerous. It's worse with you than it was with me."
I turned to her, her words grabbing my full attention. "What do you mean by that?"
" I mean," she emphasized, her face suddenly becoming more grim than before, "that you are completely smitten with him, and it's not gonna be pretty if it ends like we did."
Her words made me angry, but only in the sense that they weren't things I hadn't thought about already.
"I know that."
"Yeah, but what you need to know is that you guys loving each other like this is only gonna make it hurt more if it ends up not lasting."
"What are you trying to say?" I asked her, a little frustrated that she wasn't getting to the point. I glanced at Bobby and saw him still handing out cake like a true gentleman. It was quite mesmerizing, watching him. Time seemed to slow, giving me an opportunity to appreciate his generosity, admire his smile, and share his joy.
A joy I lost after faintly hearing Megan's words.
"If it doesn't last, you're gonna go through a withdrawal much worse than mine. And I don't know how much worse it can get."
With that, she walked away.
Leaving me to overthink for the billionth time in my life.
I watched as Bobby finished handing out cake to guests, and he approached me with a big piece of cake on a plate with two forks.
"Want to share?" Bobby asked with an irresistible smile.
I smiled back, grabbing a fork and digging in. I'm a cake person.
As I was eating, he decided to call everyone's attention. I thought it was some sort of payback for the "surprise" party: have everyone watch me as I shove cake down my throat. Real attractive.
But once everyone crowded around the two of us, he started to speak, leaving me thoroughly confused, "I know this is my evening, but I wanted to just give credit where it's due, to Caleb, for planning the whole thing."
Polite applause ensued, and I managed to swallow my fear (and remaining cake in my mouth) and nod at everyone graciously.
Bobby continued, "But I also want to thank him. For being my friend, for giving me a place to call home, and for making these past few months some of the best months of my life. And one way I can truly thank him is through something he gave me."
With that, my mom came in from the kitchen with a cake, different than the one that was demolished by everyone. It was tiny and circular, most likely for one person. She handed it to Bobby, who presented it to me.
It was a nice cake with white and green frosting, with the word "Homecoming?" printed in purple frosting.
Despite being a complete teenage girl internally who has fantasized about going to homecoming with a guy since watching my first teenage rom-com, I was completely surprised. I did not expect to be asked to homecoming; I had forgotten about the event entirely. I figured a school dance wasn't really Bobby's thing, and he'd have to play that night anyway. I had put it out of my mind long ago.
Now he was asking me at his birthday party. In front of his friends and family.
It was the last thing I expected to happen.
"Keep in mind," he smiled devilishly, "A no earns you a cake to the face."
I broke after that, losing my composure and laughing so hard I could barely say, "Yes."
The people around cheered, and Bobby went in for a kiss.
And with that, I shoved the cake back towards his face.
Everyone reacted, and I heard my mom cackle with amusement. Bobby himself just grinned impishly once again and still went in for a frosted kiss.
I got frosting all over my face, as he pecked every inch of it, and he held me like I was the only thing that mattered to him in that moment. And in that moment, that's how I felt. I felt as if I was his world, just like he was mine. And it seemed like nothing could make life more perfect.
But Megan's words rang in the back of my head like a forgotten song.
I knew that things going this perfect only meant one thing.
It was the calm before the storm.