"Wait," he touched my hand and I recoiled, "what will you do when you leave here?"
"I will be tucked away in my grandfather's home until I am presentable enough to be in society."
"And when you are presentable you will marry a young man of good fortune as ladies do?"
"Yes sir."
"And here I thought you would you lie to spare my feelings. But you wish to fill me with jealousy as if I were not wretched enough as it is, you only make me worse off."
"I would not lie for your sake sir, and it should not matter what I do since we have no commitment and never will as you made perfectly clear."
"Alice to marry is one thing while to be committed to love is quite something else. You should count yourself lucky enough to learn this in your youth like I did if you so wish to endure through society."
"Committed to love? Why must you make everything so difficult and complex? You are much too barbaric sir it is no wonder why you must hide behind four walls."
"My, my, how quickly your thoughts change because of your inheritance, I should have known you would be as fickle as all the rest," he raised his head examining me from up there.
"All the rest?" I tried to get away but his strength was unbreakable. "Let go," I asked but he stared as if thinking of what to say next or not knowing what to say and I grew anxious. "Let go sir!"
"Fine then, you may go, you may hide in the country, you may do as your family seems fit but you will never forget me Alice and one day I will get my revenge on you for leaving me alone in this old haunted house," he pressed my body on to his and unhesitatingly placed his lips on mine.
Every second of our kiss I was the most alive I had ever been it was as if life itself was in this and everything else was only a painted background. Then a strong wind came through the wind blowing our kiss apart and I was glad I would never need to be afraid of the creaks and twinges of this house.
"How long until you go back to London?" He had changed after the kiss, his hand trembled touching my cheek and I hated him for rejecting me.
"This afternoon, I must go say goodbye to the staff," I pushed him but he did not budge.
"That is too soon you must stay for the April dinner," he held on to my dress and kissed my neck.
"No sir I must get back."
"Please give me one more week with you Alice," he bowed his head on my chest almost tired from the argument, "one more week is all I ask."
"What good is one more week if I would not go near you again if my life depended on it? Goodbye Mr. Howard," his momentary weakness gave away for me to leave him.
Ah I wanted to scream, to shout, to see if all the feelings would break out of my body and finalize its pain. But I was left with hate, and a hate I could not carry well, for his rejection did not make me angry it saddened me and like my dress I was in mourning for him. In mourning for what could have been between Mr. Howard and I had he not been a loathsome man with his words. I had given my heart to someone who saw fit to stomp on it and there was no coming back from that for once my heart was out there the shame of it only kept reminding of the fool I had been.
Then I dried up my tears and went back to the kitchen where the entire staff had prepared tea and biscuits for me to eat with them, though the staff was in full steam for the event that would take place in Stanley Hall.
"Miss Stewart we had no idea Sir Paul was your grandfather, you sly little thing," Gertie said.
"I never thought any good would come of mentioning it," I drank the tea finding some comfort from the talk with Mr. Howard in the warmth of it.
"So will we ever see you back here?" Mr. Bert asked.
"I am not sure," though I would do everything possible to avoid Mr. Howard.
"Of course not she will probably be busy with society right?" Mrs. Hall asked.
"No you will see me I just do not know how soon."
"What about the Spring dinner here?" Ms. Johnson asked.
"I cannot stay my family is waiting for me; I will be at home for a while until I am thoroughly acting in the ways of society."
"Yes of course good luck on catching up with all those well trained ladies," Gertie giggled.
"Well what we are all trying to say is we are very happy for your good fortune," Mr. Bert said.
"Yes Mr. Bert is right, you have the makings of a lady and you will face no trouble when it comes to fitting in," Mrs. Hall tapped my hand.
"Thank you Mrs. Hall and I should go now."
"I will show you out," Mr. Eugene said for once smiling.
"Thank you very much Mr. Eugene," I said and hugged everyone even Ms. Johnson wished me good luck in my new life.
"It was good working with you Eugene," I wanted to part with him on good terms even though we did not get along at first.
"Yes it was, you did a fine job" he admitted and I smiled.
"Miss Stewart," Mr. Howard stopped me before Eugene opened the door for me.
"Yes sir?"
"Eugene I will escort her outside," Mr. Howard dared after laughing at my face to come down and send me off.
"Very well sir," Eugene excused himself.
"We said our goodbyes Mr. Howard," I said sternly.
"Not until you get this," he gave me a package and looked to see if Eugene was gone.
"What is it?"
"A parting gift," he opened the door halfway and I gave it back.
"No parting gifts I meant our goodbye."
"Open it on your way to your new home" he pulled it back to me.
"Sir I did not accept anything from your son and I cannot accept anything from you." I walked out the door and put it against his chest but he followed me with it.
"For God's sake Alice if you do not take it I will take another kiss as a parting gift from you without a care for who sees it," he gave the gift again and I accepted it against my wishes.
Mr. Howard helped me inside the carriage then the moment became visible I did not want to say the words I was about to say. I stared at the curl that fell to the side of his forehead and where his shirt was stained by paint never more to see it.
"Goodbye Mr. Howard."
"Ungrateful Alice, you could never grant me my wishes could you?" He kissed my hand and I forced myself to let go of him as the air left my body under the new tight black mourning dress I wore.
"No sir."
"Good, it seems you have learned your lesson after all," he reminded me of the girl who always said yes to everything and everyone would leave forever altered.
Digging through the package to see what he had given me it was the book he caught me reading the night of our first kiss. Mr. Howard's intention was to disturb me with memories of him and I was guilty of wanting to keep him in my heart even though it meant he was winning. It was unspeakable to let him kiss me the way he did, what could be worst to lady's reputation than for people to find out she had let herself be seduced into such a moment with a man who had showed no intentions of taking her seriously. Yet here I was once again with his taste on my lips, my hands wiping the sweat off the back of my neck, picturing his strong statue like body near mine and the reaction of my pulse accelerated again. Then I gladly said goodbye to Stanley Hall the place I would never want to see again not even in my dreams or nightmares for there lived the most terrible memories I had made to never keep in my story again.
April of 1889.
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This is the end...
To the first part of the story
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No part of this story may be replicated in any form.
Copyright: All Rights Reserved to A. Sena Gomes.