Amber was sitting all the way to the left, in the middle row. Hidden behind nameless big dudes.
There was a free seat next to her, but after what happened the day before, I thought best not to sit near her.
I walked all the way to the back. Next to Erasmus.
I whispered a "hey" as I sat down. At first, he seemed to be startled by it, but then he did the same.
Ever since the beginning of my feud with Andrew and Josh, I hadn't spoken one word to him. I somehow felt betrayed by the fact that he just stood there as they were beating me up, that he didn't do a thing to help.
And maybe I was right to feel that way but, thinking about it, what would I have done if I were in his shoes? If I were to be the one to see him get attacked by bullies? Would I have stopped them? Would I have gotten involved? It's easy to say a big and loud "yes" now, but when it is happening before your very eyes things change.
We're all heroes when there's no one to save.
And, maybe, he is a hero in his mind. He's constantly drawing those dragons. Maybe he dreams to ride them. But then, when it comes to actually acting, he just can't.
The bell rang before I even knew it. I immediately got up and stormed to the hallway.
"Yo, Peter," I heard Erasmus' voice call me from behind.
"Yeah," I mumbled. He hadn't talked to me throughout the whole class, and now he ran to catch me in the hallways?
He cleared his throat. "Do you have History now?"
"Nope," I said, unwillingly clicking my tongue, "Gym."
I hoped I could have history, but indeed it was gym time.
In the past few weeks I had managed to escape it by faking sickness and other stuff, but this time there was no way out.
"Okay, everybody on the field now!" The Coach shouted as he blew his whistle.
I started running around along with everybody else, already breathless after two runs. The gym sucked. There were graffitis on the walls. There was barely any space outside the field, and the field itself was a wreck, almost entirely broken and dirty. It looked nothing like a school's gym. More like an abandoned warehouse.
After the usual stretching session, which was my favorite part of gym class, the Coach had the audacity to say something I thought they only said in movies.
"I need two teams. We'll play a little dodgeball now!"
"For real?" I almost shouted, "God, how cliché of a dumbass can he be."
And so, after the usual ritual of team picking, where I got picked last, I ran to the back, behind all the testosterone.
It didn't take long for almost my entire team to be eliminated.
"Hey, Charming, I see you!" Someone from the other team shouted.
I leaned behind a big dude to see who that was. And without much of a surprise, it was Matt Hogan, one of Josh's friends, next to Killian Maddox.
"Don't think for one second that your problems are over, now that Starkey's not here!" He kept shouting, as I pretended not to hear, "In fact, they just got bigger!" and he threw the ball.
He threw the ball right towards me, eliminating the big guy in front of me. I was now exposed.
"Yeah!" He gloated, "Feel the wrath of Matt 'Hulk' Hogan!"
Well, at least he's got some character, I thought to myself. But he was still as dumb as it gets.
"Alright!" It was my turn to shout, "Eliminate me already!"
I didn't have to tell him twice, as he threw the ball, as hard as he could.
The ball was coming towards me as fast as a bullet. All I had to do was stand there, get hit, and get out of that stupid game. But I was scared. Legit. My mind wanted me to dodge it, but my body wouldn't move. Instead, I put my hands up in front of me.
When the ball finally arrived, I closed my eyes. I was able to contain the shot, as it still hit my chest.
I stammered a little, but I managed to keep possession of the ball.
I heard the Coach's whistle. "Hogan eliminated!" he shouted. I opened my eyes to see the incredulous look on Matt Hogan's face. It was priceless.
Killian Maddox was laughing at him, along with a few other on the team.
"Alright, Charming!" The Coach said, "Throw the ball!"
I forgot about the fact that I now had possession of the ball. It was my time to take a shot. Killian was all 'come at me bro'. I took a good look at him. Positioned my hands in the right way, and put all my force into that throw.
It was like time stopped for a second. It was all about me in that moment. But the throw didn't go as far as a few inches from me, as the ball fell to the ground miles before Killian's feet.
They all burst out in a big laugh, as Killian grabbed the ball and threw it lightly at my legs, eliminating me from the contest.
"Well, now, that's what I call a fiasco." I said to myself as I sat on the bench at the side of the field.
"I believed in you for a moment." Amber said, as she came to sit next to me. She was wearing a plain white t-shirt that made her crazy curls look even darker.
"Oh, hey," I stuttered, "that was embarrassing."
"Yeah," she agreed, "but we all have at least one embarrassing moment every day."
I stopped to think about it for a second and then I nodded. "You're probably right."
She glanced at the field, as the remaining guys on the teams kept playing. I stared at her for some seconds, trying to figure out if she was mad at me for some reason.
We hadn't talked since the moment she told me not to involve her in my stuff. And she seemed pretty annoyed right there.
"So, listen--"
"Why didn't you sit next to me on first period?" She interrupted me, and I didn't expect that.
"Well, I..." I tried to get my thoughts in order, as I started fidgeting with my house keys, "I thought you were mad at me for some reason..."
"Why would I be mad at you?" She legitimately asked.
"I don't know, maybe I put you in an uncomfortable situation yesterday with the principal--"
"No," she immediately said, "no, it's not you. And sorry I acted that way. The thing is, I can't afford to be involved in something like that."
"Do you, um, mind me asking you why?"
"This is not my first high school." She sighed. "I used to go to... another one... and I was expelled from there."
"You were expelled?"
"Yeah, indeed, and I don't know what you'd think if I tell you why."
"Please, at this point, I'm ready for everything." I assured as I kept playing with the Lego Spider-Man keychain in my hands.
"Well," she took a deep breath, "I pulled a knife on someone."
The fidgeting stopped, as I stood there with my mouth open for a moment. "You pulled a knife." I repeated her words.
"That I did." She reached for my hands. Her cold hands giving me goosebumps. She grabbed my keys and started examining it. "There was a big, fat dude there. And he was targeting a little boy who did nothing to protect himself. And it made me sick, you know, the whole thing. I just-- I just felt like doing something. So I had this knife... I still have it, you know. And I threatened him with it. Told him to leave the boy alone."
"Woah..." I didn't know what to say.
"And, you know," she was the one fidgeting with the keys now, "first time it worked. He left him alone for a while. But then-- I guess he forgot about me, and he was back at it. Again, for no particular reason. Just because he was bigger than him... Just because he could."
"So you pulled the knife again."
"Yeah. But this time, the principal was walking in the halls. So he stopped by us, asked what all the commotion was about... and in a moment of adrenaline, I dropped the knife... just-- just dropped it. The principal saw it... standing there next to my feet, and the rest you can imagine."
"That's insane." I kind of whispered.
"Yeah, that's my middle name." She smiled.
"Well, you know, I--" I tried to find the right words to say, "You know. One might not agree with-- the-- with the methods... that's arguable... but-- eh-- your... your... cause! Your cause was a right one... I mean-- in your insane way... you were doing something good... something... right... yeah. And I'm glad there's people like you around... 'cause we need them... we need people like you..."
"You're so cute." She said nodding, as she looked at the Lego Spider-Man keychain, "This is cute, too."
I smiled. "It should be you instead of Spider-Man. You're a real life superhero."
"I'm so not," she smirked.
"Why not. Amber Kafka. Defender of the losers!"
"You're not a loser."
"I'm not?"
"You're so not a loser."
"Have you looked at me?"
"You'll become one handsome man."
"I will?"
I slowly walked my way to her hands, to regain control of my keys. But her hands just so happened to be between her legs. In that moment breathing seemed like the wrong thing to do.
So now my hand was on her leg. She was wearing leggings, I could almost feel the skin. It felt as illegal as accessing Area 51.
"What are you doing?" She asked with her soft voice.
I didn't take my hand off of her. It was still tied between her legs, looking for her hand. "I-I'm looking for my keys."
"Yeah," she smiled, "sure you are. Looking for the keys."
I gave her a sloppy smile in return, as she leaned closer, closing her legs with my hand between them.
"You're looking for the key."
"I'm--" Before I could even notice, her lips were on mine.