I didn't really expect a warm ass welcome home party but I would have totally appreciated it.
My step-dad, Chuck handed me my own ass on a golden platter the minute I got in the car. All I could do was stare at his fat lips moving up and down giving me shit.
Honestly I don't care about whatever it is he was yelling at me about. I was just happy he actually came to get me. Normally the fat fuck wouldn't pay any attention to me.Don't even get me started on how happy I am to leave that shithole. The food smelled like dog shit and it tastes like balls. Some of mom's spaghetti would kill right now. I can already picture the greasy noodles going everywhere but into my mouth.
Anyway, I just finished my sixth and final month of Juvenile Detention and I'm going home, baby. Although, while going home I noticed Chuck taking the wrong turn. "Uh, did you forget where we live or..." he didn't answer me and stared straight ahead. This would not be the first time I question his mental health. Chuck was waiting for me to act like a curious little bitch and beg him to answer me. I snorted and leaned back in my seat with my hands behind my head.
See here's the thing with my friend, Chuck McNally. He's got this thing about him being totally awesome in his head and prepares the conversation before speaking to you, then he thinks he knows what you are going to say next just so he could be 'awesome' and act it out like a mini movie. Although it never works with me because, one, I don't kiss ass, two, I prefer not to humour him ( Feed the dog and it will keep coming back) and three, I can't act to save my life.
Chuck gave me that look that says 'shut up' I snorted
'Shut up' is exactly what I'm NOT going to do.
"Shut up." he said spewing his goo all over the steering wheel. (Euw Bruh)
"I didn't say nothing?" I retorted.
"Did we move while I was...", Choose your words wisely, "...away?" Nailed it.
I could almost see the veins popping on his forehead.
"I'm putting you on house arrest for the summer while Cheral ( My mother ) and I do some traveling. Your punk ass is staying inside the house all day everyday. Think of the ankle monitor as a gift from me to you, yeah? we're going to Chicago Police Department" he chuckled.
A gift?
For me?
" aw Chucky, You didn't have to get me anything. Your so tender sometimes." I waved him off like the massive dick he is. WHO FUCKING CARES. I love the idea of spending all summer at home alone.
He smiled trying to hide his anger and turned left. So after the long ass drive to the police department I finally got my gift. ( It totally suits me)I look good in house arrest. It's just really working for me.
Chucky Chuckles is a police officer so its no surprise how he got one.
My sexy new bling-bling will keep me at home and away from any cars I find suitable to steal.
I smiled sweetly.
This is gonna be a bomb-ass summer.
I got unlimited WIFI power and no fat fucker to bother me.