Sam returned after about an hour. They explained to me what the process entailed. My body shuddered at what was in store for me. I followed down the hallway. The closer we got the more nervous I became. A chair sat in the middle of a devil's trap. Sam started to set up the needed equipment. Dean looked back as I froze just outside of the circle.
"You alright?" Dean asked.
"A little nervous. Just thinking if there was anything else I wanted to do," I laughed nervously.
"It'll be alright. Cas is looking into that request of yours."
"Thanks. Guess it's time, huh?"
"Yeah."
I crossed over the line and took a seat in the chair. Sam readied the first needle of blood. Dean placed restraints around my wrists and ankles. Sam walked over and looked at me.
"You ready? It's going to be a long process."
"I know. But you'll be much better with her back. It's my time anyway."
Sam nodded. Dean mouthed a thank you. I returned his words with a smile. A course of purified blood ran into my system. I spat awful, vile things at them. They didn't seem to be fazed by it. Sam left, but Dean stayed he made small talk when I came back to my senses. The more blood introduced to my body, the weaker I felt. My mind slipped away from me.
My hands gripped my head tightly. A voice echoed in my head over and over. Talking incessantly, asking questions and crying non stop. I paced around a dark room trying to quell the noise. They told me this was normal. But it didn't feel like just a voice. It felt like someone weaker than me lived in this same body. One day it just stopped.
"Are you gone?" my voice asked with a sigh of relief.
Y-you can hear me? the voice responded, what am I?
"What kind of question is that? I'm a demon and you're just a voice."
A demon?
"Yes."
Am I a demon too?
"You're annoying is what you are," I huffed.
The door swung open. A demon loomed in the doorway. He looked around the room. I knew he heard me. And I knew what they did with defects like me. He grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the room. My tiny legs stumbled over each other trying to keep up.
Where are we going?
"They're probably going to kill us."
Why? Did we do something wrong?
"You wouldn't shut up."
I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to. I...I...
My consciousness faded away from me. It was the first time she was able to take control. She blubbered like a child. The demon turned to see tears streaming down her face.
"I don't know where I am," she cried.
I remember the look on the demon's face. He grabbed her face, I saw him from the back of our mind. He couldn't see me anymore. His eyes squinted as he pulled her further along. He threw her into the room.
"The hell is this?" Crowley asked, I knew him she still hadn't met him.
"It was your daughter. Then it just became this."
"She can change? I can't even see demon in her. That's amazing," his hand cradled her face as he smiled, "she's perfect. She can evade hunters like this. Start her training. She's going to be great."
"Hey, hey, you okay?" Dean's voice broke my reverie.
My eyes lifted. The color was long gone from my face. Sweat dripped down my skin. I cracked a smile. He gave a breath of relief.
"I'm fine. How much longer?" I asked.
"A few minutes until the last dose."
"Wow. Time flies."
"How are you feeling?"
"Like a million bucks. Why are you still here?"
"Thought someone should be here to see you off and see her when she comes back."
"How chivalrous. Don't find many guys like you these days," I smirked.
Sam walked into the room with the final needle. I was nervous, but I chose this. My body shifted in the seat. Sam drew closer to me as I gave a smile.
"I came, I raised hell. I did what a good demon should do," I smiled, "and now it's time to move on. Sorry for all the shit I caused for you. Take care of her, Dean, she deserves way better than I can do for her."
Dean nodded. Both of them looked a little sad. But they had no reason to feel bad for me. I was the cause of all her issues. This was the only logical choice. It was the least I could do. After all, we always did have each other's back. It was us versus the world. Always. Until Dean. Because he became her world. Ever since him she wanted more and more to be human. And I took so much from her. I did so many horrible things to her. And made her do so many horrible things. The last bit of blood flowed into my bloodstream. I slipped away. It was nice kind of hazy. Like that one time I got utterly smashed leaving her to deal with the hangover. She was so mad.
I'm sorry, I thought hoping she'd hear me, I know you're locked away. But I wanted you to be happy. This is what you deserve. Normality. That slice of normal you've been looking for. You've got a good group here. You'll be okay.
Hey, you know what would be fun?
"What's that?" I asked.
Skipping out on training. We're good enough. Let's go see a movie.
"Crowley would kill us."
You know he won't. He thinks we're like special. Worst, we just get yelled at.
"Okay, let's go, but I want to see something funny."
I was thinking the same thing.
"We don't have money though."
But you can do that cool poofy thing you do.
You may have figured me, the demon, to be the disobedient one. But it was her. It was always her. Talking me into doing stupid things. Always getting us into trouble. We had fun. And even though it was her getting us in trouble I always protected her. I'd take the beatings, the screaming, all of it. I may not have ever said it to her. But I loved her. I guess we weren't really sisters, but that's what I'd say she was to me. After all what I am doing isn't this what families do for each other? The make sacrifices for each other. They do what's best the other one, right? I didn't really know. She was better at this kind of stuff than I was. But she was the last thing I thought of. She was strong, she cared for things I could never understand. She continued through it all even when I wanted to give up. I admired her, but I never told her that. Come to think of it. There were a lot of things I didn't tell her that I should have. If I were to say I had any regrets. That would be it.
"Is she okay?" Dean asked.
"I don't know," Sam said.
He tilted my head back. I seemed to be unresponsive. He lifted my eyelids, my stare was cold and my eyes held a distant stare. Dean was undoing the restraints. I was breathing, but my body wasn't reacting to anything else. Dean pulled out his phone and called Cas. He asked Cas to come to the bunker. But Cas was dealing with something else for the time being. He explained he would be by as soon as he could. Dean picked me up and carried me into my room. The dog sulked behind him when he got into the hallway. I was carefully laid on top of my bed. Barkley, that name alone is why Dean should not have been allowed to choose the name, jumped on the bed and lay his head on my lap. He gave a slight whimper as he looked between Dean and I.
"It's not a good sign when you're worried, huh?" Dean asked patting the dog, "maybe it just didn't take. Maybe you just need sleep."
"Dean, I'm gonna do some research on this. See if we did something wrong."
"I'll come with you, Sam."
Sam stopped in his tracks. Dean rarely offered to help with research. But it wasn't really surprising if when you thought about it. Dean pointed a finger at Barkley.
"You come get me if anything happens, okay?"
The dog yawned before closing his eyes and falling asleep. Dean headed to the library to help Sam look into this. They must have messed something up. There was not much else they could do until Cas got there. My eyes opened slightly, staring into nothing. A single tear rolled down my cheek. I was an empty shell. The demon faded, cured and moved on to something else. But sadly, Crowley's magic had my consciousness locked away. The thing about this was that even though she couldn't hear me. I heard everything. Her last thoughts. How she thought of me. I hated her so much, but here she remembered all those things I had long forgotten. The worst part was no matter how hard I screamed. Even though my voice was cracking and straining trying to be heard. She never heard me say goodbye.