Sodapop's POV
I dashed out of Ponyboy's hospital room when I heard the news about Steve. I couldn't believe that Steve was queer.
I knew that I couldn't waste anymore time. I had already wasted years.
I pushed open the doors to the hospital, revealing the outside world. I was breathing heavily. I felt the adrenaline pumping through my veins.
I looked around the parking lot, trying to find Two Bit's car. I had borrowed it for the day. Two Bit was way too hungover to drive. All that boy did was drink.
I finally spotted the car. I felt my heart beating out of my chest. I sprinted to the car, not wanting to waste any more time. The more time I wasted, the smaller my chances would be.
I got to the door of the car, and quickly put the key in. I popped open the door, and quickly situated myself.
Before I knew it, I started to drive.
-
I was driving, trying to keep my emotions under wraps. I still wasn't sure what to say or do.
I thought back to a conversation I had with Ponyboy.
"How do I confess my love to someone, Pony?" I asked. He blinked a few times, and then looked at the wall quickly.
"If you really love them, you'll know what to do when the moment occurs. You just suddenly feel the need to confess," he stated with a small smile. I nodded.
"How did you confess your love to Johnny?" I questioned. I don't think I ever heard the full story.
"He was in the hospital, and I thought that he was going to die. I just knew I had to tell him before it was too late," he said. He was smiling, but his face showed the pain that he still felt from that event.
"Thanks, Pony," I replied. I kissed the top of his head.
I walked out of the room, thinking about Steve.
I began to think about what he said, and how I would know the right time to tell Steve. I thought long and hard about that concept.
I just loved Steve so much. I never lost love for him. He was one of the only things in my life that was always constant. I don't really remember my life without having Steve in it, right next to me for everything. He was always there.
I tried to think about what my life without Steve would look like.
There would always be a hole some place if Steve didn't exist. I would always feel like I was missing something.
Who would try and teach me to read when I was stuck? No one. It was always Steve who was by my side, helping me sound out the syllables. He had so much patience for me, never getting frustrated by the fact that I was practically illiterate.
Who would be there for me to tell all my shitty jokes to? No one. No one laughed at my jokes quiet like Steve did. He always understood what I meant, and everything I said always seemed to amuse him. He never looked confused by a joke or pun that I made.
Or, who would teach me about cars like Steve? No one. Steve knew cars like the back of his hand, and the inside of his palm. He was a pure genius when it came to cars, and he taught me everything he knows. He taught me about mufflers, about pistons, about shocks..He taught me everything.
Steve was one of the biggest things in my life, besides Darry and Pony. He shaped me into the person I am, and he never once left my side. We hardly ever argued, and he always made me feel like I mattered. Steve never put any of our friends before me. I was always his number one. I don't remember a time that he didn't run to me, and I didn't run to him.
I just loved Steve too much for my own good. I loved his black, swirly hair, and his blue eyes. His eyes reminded me of the ocean. They were so blue.
He also had a perfect stature. He was skinny, but he was built. I wanted to feel his body pressed against mine.
His smile was also great. It was always big and bright, and it made me smile.
I also liked the way he dressed. He always wore tight denim jeans, and a tight shirt with a denim vest and sneakers. It was nothing special, but he made it look amazing.
A memory suddenly came to me.
Steve and I were at the Dingo, eating some burgers. We were quietly talking, until a Elvis song came on.
Steve looked at me in this certain way. I couldn't pin it.
He reached across the table, and grabbed my hand.
Before I knew it, I was standing up, and Steve was dragging me across the floor where a few people were dancing.
Before I knew it, we were dancing together, swaying to the rhythm.
We smiled at each other.
I wanted everything to be like that all the time.
I was determined to feel as happy as I did at the Dingo that one time with Steve.
-
Before I knew it, I was outside of the house.
I slowly got out of the car, having some final thoughts. I didn't want to do something regrettable or wrong.
I began to walk up the steps, and then I opened the door to the house.
"Hello?" I yelled out. I saw no one in the living room.
Steve appeared out of the kitchen.
"It's just me," he stated.
A plan popped into my mind.
Ponyboy was right.
I walked up to Steve.
I put my hands on his face, and took a breathe.
I closed the gap between us.
Fireworks.