After staring at my ceiling for a total of 20 minutes, I begin to think about how much time it must have taken to stuck-o the entire ceiling.
Beside me is my phone - my empty-of-text-messages phones. Besides a short conversation with Connor about how we should talk, but neither of us have time to right now, I haven't gotten any texts from the one person I needed the most.
Hannah and I haven't spoken all night or all day today, and to be honest, I don't know how to feel about it.
With no one to talk to about it, I've been stuck inside my own head. Hannah was the person I always turned to and now she isn't there.
Am I in the wrong? What am I supposed to do, just drop everything and say that I'm sorry?
I'm sorry, Hannah.
I'm sorry that I disappoint you, and that I'm stubborn, and that I mess up all the time.
I'm sorry.
My phone vibrates what feels like my entire bed and I sit up quickly, grab my phone, and open it to see who texted me. My heart almost drops when I see it isn't from Hannah.
It's Will, and apparently he's right outside my house.
I quickly dial his number and hold my phone to my ear, still feeling exhausted from over-thinking and no sleep.
"Is this our new thing?" He asks as soon as he picks up.
I quirk an eyebrow. "What?"
"Us talking on the phone like I'm not right outside your front door," he laughs. I can't help but crack a smile though I try not to. I don't think I should be happy.
"Hold on," I tell him and I hop off the bed and head downstairs.
The house is empty on this Wednesday morning. School was scheduled to be cancelled today for teacher conferences, or something like that. The only part I usually pay attention to are the words "no school".
When I reach the door, I look through the peek-hole to see him standing there with his back to me as he looks out at the road and his phone still to his ear.
I debate hanging up and locking the doors just so I can be alone, but something in me craves his presence. It craves the comfort and familiarity he brings.
I open the door and wait for him to turn around. After hanging up my phone, I shove it in the waistband of my shorts and lean against the door frame.
He turns to me and smiles. "Hey, stranger."
"We see each other every day in chemistry, Will."
"Eh, still."
"What brings you here on this fine day?" I ask him while he lets himself into my house. I shut the door and follow him into the kitchen. If I didn't know any better, I'd think we were sixteen and still dating.
He opens the fridge and grabs a bottle of water out of the bottom drawer where it's always kept.
"Why don't you make yourself at home?" I chuckle.
He laughs and gulps a bottle of water. "Thanks, Jess," he says sarcastically.
"But really, why are you here?" I repeat my question.
He looks at me and the smile that comes across his face almost scares me. "We're gonna go for a drive."
He starts walking towards the door again, grabbing my jacket off the hook we have by the door, and tosses it at me.
I barely catch it and pull it to me. "I didn't agree to this."
"Come on," he tells me. "I've got some stuff planned. Gotta get you out of the house."
He grabs my jacket out of my hands and starts to help me put it on, and I let him, but I don't follow him to the door.
"It's okay. You're just the center of attention. The guys. Our friends. Everyone. It's not your fault."
Hannah's words from last night have me regretting what I'm about to do.
"Hold on," I say as I hurry up to my room nod find a pair of jeans to slip on. My hair is in messy bun and my face is naked, but that is my last worry.
I meet up with Will at his beat up, old truck, and call shotgun even though I have no competition.
*
"Ice cream?" Will asks as he steers us toward town.
I smile and nod my head. "It's the best remedy for an aching heart."
As soon as it comes out of my mouth I regret it.
He looks at me through the corners of his eyes. "Why is your heart aching?"
"Um..." I trail off. "I'm just kidding, I'm just craving some ice cream."
He nods his head slowly as if he doesn't believe me.
"Okay, ice cream it is."
We stop at a grocery store and walk inside with honest intentions of only getting some ice cream, but distractions are provided by the junk food sections.
Along with a large bag of various kinds of chocolate candy, we walk back to the ice cream freezer and I begin the long process of which ice cream flavor to get.
"Is it that hard of a decision?" Will asks me as he cradles the bag of candies.
"Yes!" I exclaim. "They're all so good."
"Get that one, it looks good." He points to a flavor I haven't even tasted yet.
"I don't know about that one."
After another two minutes of indecisiveness, Will came up with the idea of buying one of each.
"Are you insane?" I ask him, a small smile playing on my lips.
"Absolutely," he replies. "We're doing it."
We grab one container of each and pile them into our arms. At one point we have to take half of them to the register and then go back for more.
The cashier is a young girl who looks like it's her first day and she's about to have a heart attack.
"What are we supposed to do with all these?" I ask Will as the cashier nervously rings us up.
She shoves the small containers into plastic bag and hands them to us. I set a few on the floor and wait for another to be handed to me.
"We're going to eat them?" Will says as more of a question.
I stare at the containers and then look up at the nervous-wreck-of-a-girl ringing them up. I think of how I've been feeling, and how Hannah has probably been feeling. Or maybe she's happier with me out of her life. I wouldn't blame her.
"No," I tell Will. "We are doing something else today."
Before he can ask any questions, I grab a container she's already rung up and hand it to the cashier. Her long brown hair moves away from her chest and I can finally see her name tag.
I offer a smile along with the tub of ice cream. "I hope this brightens your day, Carlie."
A bright and genuine smile forms and she repeats the words "thank you" at least five times. Will and I both help pay for the ice cream before we grab all the bags and take them along with us.
"So we're delivering these to people who look sad?" He asks me.
I nod my head and beam. "Sure are."
We find random people in the parking lot; moms who look exhausted from their rug rats, girls who are walking down the street, boys who look so annoyed when we do hand them a tub.
In the parking lot of the store, I catch a glimpse of someone snapping a picture of me, or maybe something near me, but either way it freaks me out. I glance over at Will who is handing a tub to a little girl with blonde pigtails. I decide to ignore it and continue handing out ice cream.
By the time we only have three tubs left, plus half a bag of candy, we are parked in the parking lot of the local car shop.
"Who do we give the last three to?" Will asks as he sits back in his seat.
I look at the three tubs sitting between us and only have one thought.
"We're gonna eat two of them and give the last one to a lucky-somebody," I tell him as I hand him a tub. He takes it happily and we begin eating our ice cream with plastic spoons.
"So, are you going to tell me about your aching heart?" He suddenly says.
I take a deep breath and turn my head to look out the window. "I don't have an aching heart."
"I've known you long and well enough to know you're lying, Jessa," he replies before shoving a mouthful of ice cream in his mouth.
I look over at him and meet his eyes. "I'm just a horrible person, is all."
"What are you talking about?"
"Hannah hates me. My mom and I are only on good terms because she thinks I'm a cheerleader, I'm lying to my dad, and right now I'm not being the best girlfriend to Connor." I try not to look at him as I say it, not wanting to create an awkward moment.
I hear him sigh and set his ice cream down on the dash.
"Why does Hannah hate you?" He asks as if he's my psychiatrist.
I shrug my shoulders. "Because I choose everyone else over her sometimes."
He nods his head and turns himself toward me. Before he can say anything or try to give me advice, I sit up and make myself look as if I don't have a care in the world.
"You know what? I'm not worrying about it right now," I announce. "Get out of the truck."
Will quirks an eyebrow and smirks. "Why? Strip search?"
I roll my eyes and chuckle. "Just shut up and get out."
We both jump out of the Rust Bucket and Will stands by his door while I make my way over to him. I stop right in front of him and at first I feel like the world has stopped turning. We come so close that it makes my heart race.
Then I move to climb into the driver's side seat.
I shut the door and roll the window down. I almost laugh at the dumbfounded look on Will's face.
"Are you going to stand there all day or hop in here with me?"
He shakes his head but makes his way around the truck to climb in the passenger side door. I look around me and see the ignition, then I see the stick shift right beside me.
"Do you even know how to drive one of these?" An amused-looking Will asks.
I clear my throat and nod my head. "Sure do."
I do what my dad taught me to do a while back when he was on the whole "you need to know how to do this and do that if there's an emergency", and driving a clutch was one of those.
I press my foot against the clutch and hold it to the floor, then start the truck. With Will watching my every move, I pull the stick shift into reverse and the trick jerks backward. Will and I both look at each other with wide eyes, but then I pull the truck into first gear and we lurch onto the road.
Yeah, it's been a while since I've drove one of these.
"You know, I'm really surprised you're driving this thing right now," Will says. I laugh and shift up a gear.
"You don't know half of what I'm capable of," I tell him.
"Okay, well, since you're driving, let's take 'er through the car wash," he says in his most twangy accent.
"Whatever you say," I sing-song.
I pull into a gas station where the car wash is and head toward the automatic car wash.
With my window still down and blowing the wind through my hair so nicely, I think about putting it up but then decide to wait.
"I think I found someone to give our last ice cream to," Will says just as I pull up to enter the car wash. He's already rolling down his window.
"Who?" I ask and follow Will's gaze.
"Yo, Tyler!" He yells out the window at a distracted Tyler. He whips his head around to see who's calling his name and a smile spreads over his face.
"What are you doing?" Tyler asks as he approaches us. His smile only falters slightly when he sees me in the drivers seat. "Bro, you're gonna die."
"Hey!" I shout in my defense. I wonder for a moment if he holds a grudge against me. I attempt to see if that's true, I grab the tub of ice cream and reach across Will to hand it to Tyler.
"What's this?" He asks.
"Ice cream," Will answers matter-of-factly. "We were giving them people who looked lonely."
Tyler looks at Will blankly. "Oh wow, thanks."
"Give it to Hannah," I say accidentally. "I mean, that's her favorite flavor."
Tyler nods his head. "Will do."
"Please say a prayer that I don't die today!" Will calls after Tyler as he walks away.
I pull the truck into the car wash and we wait for it to start.
"Jessa, we have to roll the windows up." Will tries pushing the button to make his go up, but it doesn't.
I look at mine and try to figure out what buttons to push.
"What do I-"
And then we are both covered in foamy soap and water.
________
So, what do you think?!
Thanks for reading!!
The song is Happily by One Direction for a (semi) happy chapter!