Baekhyun found himself staring out the window half the time, unable to gather himself well enough to strike up a conversation. He had turned on the radio, but even the music couldn't rip him away from being aware of what was going on.
There were so many questions he wanted to ask, but decided to hold off on all for when the time was right. When he glanced over at Chanyeol, the man didn't seem fazed at all by their silence. It seemed as though he was lost in his own deep thought, and for a second, Baekhyun was jealous that at least one of them was able to distract themselves.
The clouds were gray with a darker shade out in the horizon, and Baekhyun wondered if the bleak weather would hold up long enough for them to go horseback riding without becoming drenched. He had the slight hope that all would be well, however. There was a trust that he had with Chanyeol despite their constant arguments. If there was anything to be done that concerned animals or infrastructure, Chanyeol could handle it.
They drove through the town the same way Baekhyun had ridden his bike through it before, but when the brunette looked over, he saw the way Chanyeol's eyes stayed glued at the restaurant that was mentioned in their extremely heated argument. For a moment, Baekhyun wanted to open his mouth and say something, but he had no idea what.
As they moved on, Baekhyun began to imagine what Chanyeol's home looked like. He imagined something nice, perhaps even the house he won with his ex-wife's settlement. She was rich, wasn't she? Then that meant Chanyeol was well off.
Pressing his head against the glass window, Baekhyun fought with himself. Again and again, he wondered why that woman came up in mind again, but he knew exactly why he felt slightly angry again. It was all directed at Chanyeol's decision to even get married without a romantic cause, but Baekhyun kept still, attempting to remind himself that it was all in the past.
But if it was all in the past, why did he care so much? Baekhyun held his breath. Maybe he cared beyond the fact that it was a loveless marriage. If it was even possible, he wondered if he cared because he wasn't Chanyeol's first.
A sensation of defeat washed over him, but Baekhyun was pulled out of his sulky mood when he opened his eyes and was greeted by the familiar sight of the Kyungsoo's colonial home. Frowning, he glanced at Chanyeol as if nonverbally asking him what business they had there.
Chanyeol missed the non-spoken message and shut his truck's engine off when he pulled right in front of the house. "We're here."
Giving him a puzzled look, Baekhyun frowned as he slowly unclicked his seatbelt. "But this is Kyungsoo's house?"
Snorting, Chanyeol got out from his side and shut the door, promptly walking around the front of his truck to open Baekhyun's side. "Actually, it's mine." Helping the star struck brunette out, Chanyeol exhaled. "This is why you're here. So we can talk."
"Well, I can see why!" Baekhyun piped as Chanyeol closed his door. "You didn't correct me when I said that this was Soo's house!"
"I did just now."
"Not before!"
Rolling his eyes, Chanyeol led the way, following a small dirt path that led past the house and to the back. The entire place was larger than Baekhyun actually thought. He never saw the path when he was there before, but he blamed it all on the trees.
The horse stables were fairly far from the house itself, but it was well worth the short walk. Baekhyun entered the building and was pleasantly surprised at how clean and well-maintained it all was. There were three horses, all of which were calm and inviting to the new stranger's presence.
"They're beautiful, Chanyeol," Baekhyun softly said as he approached the brown one, running his fair hand on the horse's head. "What're their names?"
"Biscuit, Shortcake, and Will."
"Why is Will the only one who wasn't named after a food?"
Chanyeol shrugged as he walked over to pick a saddle from a rack on the wall. "Will's my personal riding horse, but I let the other two be named by my nephew."
"Nephew?" Baekhyun blinked. "Your sister had a baby?"
"Yeah, I'm an uncle."
"That's weird to think about..." Moving to the other horses, Baekhyun pet them all just the same. "I still remember her yelling at you to get out of her room when we were sixteen. Remember that? She had a slumber party and you decided to be an ass. You barged in half-naked, and you ended up sleeping at my house."
"I don't remember," Chanyeol said, though it was clear by the tone of his voice that he knew exactly what the latter was talking about. He unlatched the stable door for the black and white spotted horse, calming her before setting the saddle firmly on her back. "This is Shortcake. You'll be riding her today. Don't worry. She's very easy to strangers as long as you're not aggressive with her."
"Why do I feel like I'm getting this horse for a reason?" Baekhyun muttered, taking the reins when Chanyeol walked the horse out of its stable.
"For one, the name," the giant explained. "Second of all, like I said, she's very easy to strangers as long as you're not aggressive."
Chanyeol walked away to get his own saddle and Baekhyun scrunched his face. "Oh, funny, Chanyeol. Your sense of humor's really improved over the years!"
"And yours went dry."
Letting the comment go, Baekhyun watched as Chanyeol saddled his own horse, Will, a black stallion, and managed to hoist himself up with ease. Trying to do the same, Baekhyun put one foot in the saddle's provided loop and pulled himself on the horse.
He almost didn't make it. In fact, actually he didn't. His left leg was over the horse, but his body was jutting out to the side and he was practically on the horse vertically. Crying out apologies, he used the horse's hair and its sturdy neck to get himself upright. Triumphantly, he blew the stray hairs out of his face and caught his breath.
"Glad it only took you half a century." Chanyeol laughed as he gently kicked the side of his horse to get the stallion to slowly walk out of the stable.
Baekhyun glared at the back of the man's head and patted Shortcake's bottom to get the gentle horse to walk on as well. Taking the command, the horse did as the brunette wanted and slowly followed.
"It would've been faster if you helped me, at least!"
"Didn't feel like it."
Was this honestly the same guy who kissed him the day before and held him like he was a fragile item from FedEx? Baekhyun frowned. It was honestly a legitimate question.
Chanyeol lead them on a wider trail, and a very familiar one at that. It took a while, but Baekhyun recognized it as a trail they often took when wandering the edge of the lake together when they were in school. The trail now, however, was cleaner and wider. There was no doubt in his mind that work was put into making it as it was.
As their horses began to pace themselves closer and closer to one another, Baekhyun looked out over at the water. "So, this is yours..."
"No. That belongs to the city, not me. I own the property around here, but not the lake."
Throwing him a look, Baekhyun gave him a lopsided frown. "You know what I meant."
"Can't help but tease you about it though."
Chanyeol's eyes were the darkest of brown. Though solid in its color, it often seemed as though it fluctuated with every emotion the man felt. When Baekhyun made eye contact with him, it felt as though he was being sucked into a black hole, unrelenting in its grasp of him as he remained mesmerized by the dark orbs.
After a while, he broke eye contact, clearing his throat. As much as he would've liked to continue on in such a way, he knew he was there for more than just gazing at the man beside him. Even Chanyeol knew that there were more heavy matters to discuss by the way he kept quiet for long periods of time.
Taking the first chance to start, Baekhyun managed to get Shortcake to walk directly beside the black stallion. "Can you talk to me about your marriage?" he asked, slightly unsure of the subject, but nonetheless felt it was necessary. "What was it like? Did you at least try to like her?"
There was no doubt in his mind that the subject hurt like hell, but Baekhyun was very much used to controlling his facial expressions. He couldn't, however, decipher what Chanyeol's calm and collected body language had to say on the matter.
Heaving his shoulders, Chanyeol shrugged and looked over the wondering brunette. "I never married anyone, Baekhyun. There was never a she or a divorce."
It came like a bombshell and Baekhyun's mouth hung open. He didn't know how to feel about the revelation. Relieved because it was a lie or embarrassed that he blew off on and on about the sanctity of love and marriage just days before? Chanyeol expected the reaction, but didn't seem to show much for it.
"I don't understand," Baekhyun finally found himself saying. His hold on Shortcake's rein grew tighter. "You said there was a settlement and that... Chanyeol, you have all of this! Didn't you get this because she felt bad for you!?"
"Baekhyun, I said I never married, and if I never married, then I never got a divorce or a settlement," Chanyeol said again. After a moment, he asked, "Are you relieved I didn't taint the entire idea of marriage for you?"
It was meant to be a light question, but Baekhyun couldn't help but draw his brows together as he processed the information. Unconsciously, he began petting the horse's head, thankful that the animal had a few therapeutic powers.
"Then why would you lie to me about that?" he asked, moments after a time of silence passed. "Why would you blatantly lie to my face?"
"I didn't think it'd hurt you so much." The confession stung, but at the same time, Baekhyun felt forgiving. "I just needed to give you some sort of excuse in case you ever found out about this. You already knew I wasn't helping your father out for money, and I made the stupid mistake of bragging off my credit card to you. I just wanted something to slap you on the face for thinking I never did anything with my life, and that's why I pulled it out."
"You could've just told me you had money."
Chanyeol scoffed. "Honey, you already knew I had money. That wasn't the problem. The problem was that you just had to dig your nose around and find out why I did. So, I gave you a reason. One that was believable. I just never thought you'd act that way."
"That's because I—"
"But I'm glad you did," the giant cut off, giving him a hard and solid stare. "You seemed so bothered by the fact that I married, I got a little hopeful—so I pushed it. I didn't expect for you to spill your guilty guts out to me or to mention Kyungsoo, however."
The mentioning of the name pulled Baekhyun's head up. "But you did kiss him."
"I didn't know that until a few days ago, but he—"
"Um, no! How can you not know that you—"
"Can we stick to one topic and get to the rest later?" Chanyeol rubbed his forehead. "Where were we? The marriage?"
"The marriage that never was," Baekhyun confirmed with a huff.
"Alright, then." Taking a moment of silence for himself, Chanyeol ran a hand through his hair giving himself a messy look that made Baekhyun bite down on his lower lip. "While we're on the subject of how I got my money, I need to tell you something because it involves you, personally."
Baekhyun tore his eyes away from the man's dark hair. "What?"
"You and I had a savings account together. We started it in high school when we started talking about getting engaged and married. Remember that?"
For once, Baekhyun's memory did serve him right. They made the account in the winter when he started talking about couples getting married and Chanyeol brought up the idea of saving for the future. Since piggy banks were too tempting to break, the minute they both turned eighteen, Chanyeol drove them to the local bank and wrote up an account for the two of them.
It grew slowly, but by the time they were twenty one, it was enough for a small wedding. It wasn't necessarily large enough to build a life together, but it was enough to create the spark.
Nodding, Baekhyun pursed his lips. "I remember."
"Well...It's not there anymore," Chanyeol said softly. "I took the money out and I closed the account."
"Why..." The word came like a whisper. "Did you need it for something? Didn't you say that your father's farm was—"
Shaking his head, Chanyeol cut him off. "My dad's farm is doing fine. He was never in foreclosure. I took the money out because... Baek, you said you didn't love me anymore. What the hell was I supposed to do? That account was mocking me in the face and the money we piled in there was a constant reminder that I was never going to make that life with you. I had to take it out. I had no other choice."
"But you just gave that up?"
Pulling the reins, Chanyeol put Will to a halt. Shortcake stopped as well. "Byun Baekhyun, back then, I was under the heavy impression that you gave up. Do you know how mentally and emotionally unstable you left me? I was practically a fucking insomniac because I couldn't go to sleep without your voice repeating those words. I was a wreck without you... So, forgive me if it hurts you to know that I closed that chapter of our lives. It was over anyhow, so I thought I'd spend the money in other parts."
During the nights when he tossed and turned on his state of the art mattress and comfort set, crying about his stupid love life, Baekhyun wondered if Chanyeol was feeling like the glob of a mess that he felt like then.
As he searched Chanyeol's dark eyes, all he could see was the pain that had been tucked away for years, untouched, but never forgotten. And Baekhyun recognized it all. He was in the exact same state.
"What'd you do with the money, then?" Baekhyun softly asked, already in understanding with Chanyeol's situation. "Did you go back to school?"
"I invested it in some new companies," Chanyeol told him. "I was stupid. I didn't even do my research about these investments. To be honest, I think I was half drunk when I made them. You can guess my surprise when they took off just six months after I put in my money in. They paid me back really good. Even to this day. After that, I guess I sobered up and used the money I got to go back to school. Majored in business and management. Came back after four years and started my own business."
With his eyes wide open, Baekhyun leaned in. "You have your own business? I didn't expect that."
"I can't blame you. Neither did I." Will began to move again and Baekhyun gently kicked Shortcake with the heel of his shoe. "I do construction so we do a lot of big projects here and there. I'm usually the one who oversees things."
"Then why're you here?"
"Because of you."
Baekhyun expected the usual answer which somehow always involved his parents, but the one Chanyeol gave was...
The brunette didn't know exactly. The only think he knew for sure was that he stopped breathing for a split millisecond.
"You always told me it was because you wanted to help my folks out..." Baekhyun reminded him. "Why me?"
"Why you is exactly what I kept asking myself," the giant said, laughing quietly to himself. "The day before you came, I honestly thought about backing out. I kept telling myself I was stupid to even ask your father's permission to help you. We were done. Years already went by. You had your life and I had mine, but I wanted to see you even if it meant keeping you at a distance. That's all I wanted."
"Chanyeol—"
"Baekhyun, I think I'm still in love with you." Chanyeol refused to look at him, keeping his eyes on the trail, but the latter was just the opposite. He couldn't take his eyes off the man beside him. "I thought I was over this. You know, I tried my damn hardest to keep you away at arm's length, but you're just so... I don't know how to say it."
"Say what?" Baekhyun pushed.
Shrugging, Chanyeol glanced at him for the first time. "I don't know. You have a gravitational pull. Every time you pissed me off, yeah, you sure as hell made me mad, but you don't get it. I have the best damn patience compared to anyone else in the world, but when it comes to you, I'm one second away from detonating. You just ignite me the way no one else can, so I suppose your loud mouth and short temper has its uses."
Leaning over, Baekhyun smacked the man on his arm. "I have good patience, too, you know! You're just a test from God, that's all. You're not the only one who gets easily mad when the other's around."
"Guess that's what makes us perfect for each other, then."
Pausing, Baekhyun gave him a look before drawing his eyes down to the ground. "So, you gambled our money away, went back to school, started a business, which is obviously doing well or else you wouldn't have any of this... Then what about—"
"Let's talk about you for a second now." Chanyeol turned his head up to the sky. It was becoming darker. "Who's Kris?"
"Who is he?" Baekhyun cocked his head. "He's—"
"I know he's your manager. Everyone knows that."
Puzzled, Baekhyun was taken aback. If Chanyeol knew who Kris was, then what else did he want to know? "That's all he is. He manages my schedules and appointments."
Unexpectedly, Chanyeol turned his head to him with a frowning expression. "You told me he was your boyfriend."
"What!?"
For the life of him, Baekhyun couldn't recall the moment he told Chanyeol such a thing. His memory was never the brightest, but he knew for sure that the latter must've been mistaken somehow. There was absolutely no way he could've said that in the weeks that he'd been there. In fact, there was no reason to spin that fat lie.
"Kris isn't my boyfriend. I would never date him!" the brunette exclaimed. "He's bossy, and likes to overbook me sometimes, which is a pain in the little ass that I have left because of the stupid diet he put me on for thirty weeks!" After he calmed down, he jabbed a finger in Chanyeol's direction. "And I never told you that he was!"
"Let me bring up the day. Maybe you'll remember." Chanyeol grew serious, but his voice remained slightly sarcastic. "You told me we weren't working out anymore, and then I asked you why. You told me you met someone and you proceeded to go on and on in explicit detail about how you fell in love with your manager, Kris, while on the job because, as you said, it was 'inevitable' for two people working side by side to fall in love. Did that jostle your memory up?"
Cursing mentally, Baekhyun berated himself. It did happen. He remembered how he said those words to make the break up easier, but what he couldn't remember was who it was supposed to make it easierfor. Looking up, he saw Chanyeol watching him, and proudly, he lifted his chin.
"Well, you know what? You're not the only one who can lie about their love life!" he justified, crossing his arms. "But just to make it clear, no. I would never date him and I never did. He's far too old for me, Chanyeol. He's what? Thirty. I prefer people my own age."
"That's good."
A grin formed on the man's face and Baekhyun could see how the situation was satisfyingly dealt with. They put that specific misunderstanding behind them and continued on the path.
"I think it's time you tell me about Kyungsoo," Baekhyun said finally, loosening his grip on Shortcake's reins. The sky in the horizon didn't look too friendly anymore, but the brunette found himself silently calling the upcoming storm forward. "I want to know what happened."
"I was drunk. That's what happened."
Seconds passed and Baekhyun waited patiently for the man to catch his bearing and explain on.
"You had gotten so famous in such a short time. We stopped talking because of your schedule and the time differences... You know, I was feeling like an absolute piece of shit for being nothing. All I did was help my dad around and drink, trying to get a hold of you."
Thunder rolled in the distance.
"Then rumors started floating around about you and that manager of yours. Papers. Online articles. Hell, the entire World Wide Web was on your love life's ass. I tried to ignore it, but I wasn't in the right mind anymore. I was already feeling worthless. I didn't have the confidence to believe that you wouldn't do that to me."
Baekhyun's lips wavered. "I didn't think you heard any of those things..." His voice was quiet, but Chanyeol heard enough. "You should've said something to me. I would've told you."
"How could I?" Chanyeol asked. "You were so busy, your assistants kept putting me on hold and asking if I wanted to leave a message. What could I have done? Tell them to tell you, 'Hey, your boyfriend called. He's feeling a bit insecure against your high profile manager who's just as tall as he is, but much more successful. Call him and let him know it's all okay,'?"
"Yes!"
"Don't be an idiot. I'm a man and I have my pride." Sighing, Chanyeol moved Wll into a slower trot. "After we fought, I left your house and drove to Kyungsoo's house. You know, the one I kept telling you that was twenty minutes from town by car?"
Baekhyun let the jab go. "And?"
"He told me all about that night. Of course, he didn't know you were there, but he knew that I kissed him when I was wasted as all after listening to those rumors again." Then he stopped. "He told me it was disgusting. That I tasted bitter and sad."
"Was he—"
"He wasn't talking about the alcohol," Chanyeol finished, lips drawing into a thin line. "Then I passed out on him and he drove me back to my dad's house. I woke up with the worst hangover, but I couldn't remember what had happened. He never told me either. Said it was better off that way. He asked me why I was asking and I told him about us. By the way, he said to make it clear that he's just my gardener on the weekends. Nothing more."
Slowly, everything began to piece together. The reasons and the fallout, like Pangaea in reverse. Baekhyun closed his eyes and felt the first drop of the late summer rain.
As the droplet slid off his cheek, it took with it all his pain and the turmoil he kept burning inside of him. It sizzled out the fire of misunderstanding and washed away parts of the past that he had kept with him.
"Chanyeol, can I ask you one last thing?"
"We're talking right now, aren't we? So, go ahead."
Taking in a breath, Baekhyun asked, "Who was that woman?"
"She was my lawyer, consulting me about liability for..."
Baekhyun zoned out feeling like he wanted to smack himself against a large tree. His lawyer. The woman was his lawyer, and his mother must've known that when he mentioned the word girlfriend in front of her the night Chanyeol picked him up from his ride from "Kyungsoo's" house. Even Shortcake could sense his stupidity by snorting.
Another roll of thunder hit and the rain began to pour. The horses fidgeted at the cracking sound of the sky, but neither Baekhyun nor the giant beside him made a sound, accepting the rain as it began to drench them.
Shortcake had more issues with the thunder than Will. Slightly more erratic than she was before, Chanyeol decided that the horse was more than Baekhyun was likely to be comfortable with. Asking for the reins, he took control of the horse until he positioned the two horses side by side.
"Transfer over in front of me."
Nodding, Baekhyun whispered a good-bye to his horse and quickly eased into the space in front of Chanyeol. He held tightly on the saddle in fear of falling until Chanyeol settled an arm around him while holding both reins. It wasn't too long after when Baekhyun settled against him.
Their way back to the stable was filled with silence, but the kind that asked for nothing to fill its void. When they reached the inside of the stable, Baekhyun was cold and Chanyeol was very aware, working quickly to hop off his stallion to put the mare back in her enclosed corner.
Then he came back with his arms outreached. "Come on," he said encouragingly as Baekhyun moved his way off the horse. When he felt Chanyeol's strong hands hold him by the waist, he knew he could safety jump the rest down.
Reaching into his pocket, Chanyeol took out a set of keys and handed them to Baekhyun once he was off the horse. "Get inside and dry yourself off. I'll follow after you."
Baekhyun looked at the silver key and nodded. "Are you sure you don't want me to help with anything?"
"I'm sure. Now, go. The wind's starting to pick up."