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I looked at myself in the mirror as I adjusted my dress strap. It was 9:30 and I was officially 20 minutes late for the ceremony.
I had been debating all week if I should go but i knew I had to. This day would make or break us and I was hoping it was the first option.
I grabbed my keys and phone before making my way out of the house and into my car. As I drove down the street I turned the radio up to drown my thoughts but I couldn't help it.
I hadnt seen him in so long and I started to miss him. I was over the crying faze because I knew he would eventually come through. Even though it broke me for weeks I knew we would make it. I just hope I was right.
My phone began to ring and I put it on speaker.
"Hey Bella."
"Where are you? They started almost 20 minutes ago."
"I'm stuck in traffic but I'll be there soon. You didnt tell him I was coming did you?"
"Of course I didnt. Now hurry up."
We ended the call just as I arrived. I got out the car and walked into the building where the ceremony was being held.
Students dressed in cape and gowns filled the room on one side and on the other side was parents and other loved ones to watch their children move up into the adult life.
I found my seat next to Bella and scanned the room looking for him.
"Well hey to you too girl."
"I'm sorry. Hey I missed you." I puled her in a hug since it was the first time we seen each other since she left.
"It's ok. I know you're anxious to see him. He actually should be walking soon because they're in the P's now."
"Jacob Perez."
My eyes shot up at the stage and I saw him. He received his diploma and shook hands with the principal. His eyes scanned the crowd as if he was looking for something, or someone. Was it me? My heart warmed at the thought.
"Has he told you anything about... you know." I asked Bella.
"He hardly tells me anything anymore. He's closing up again."
Before I knew it the ceremony ended and people threw their hats up in the air and cheering.
I got up to try and get to him. Weaving and squeezing passed people began to get tiring because of the rushing crowd of people. I began feeling helpless since everyone was dressed the same as him.
Finally I saw him looking around frantically. I wanted to run in his arms and kiss his face but I knew I couldn't. The closer I got to him the more farther away he seemed.
And then I saw her. She grabbed at his arm so he was facing her and wrapped her arms around his neck. And he hugged her back. She lifted her head to kiss his cheek.
My eyes met with his and he pushed her off slightly but by then I was already turning around and rushing out the building.
"Jamiah where are you going?" Bella called to me.
"Some things dont change Bella. Some things just dont change." I say before running back to my car to get out of here.
//Jacob//
"Jacob Perez." I walked across the stage and received my diploma before shaking the principal's hand. I searched the crowd looking for her.
I realized I was standing up here too long and then got off of stage. Regardless of my emotional state I was honestly relieved to finally be graduating.
The graduation soon ended and I got up looking for her. I knew she had to be here. She wouldn't miss this for the world. If she still loved me like I thought, that is.
I didn't have it in me to reach out to her to fix things between us but I knew if she was here and things went right, we would be okay. I just need to find her.
The swarming bodies of students and their loved ones blocked my view in searching for her.
"Jacob !" I heard a voice that wasn't hers call me. Someone grabbed my wrist and I saw that it was Nycole who I didn't know would be here. She graduated a year ago from a different school and I didn't even tell her my graduation was today so I don't know how she found out.
"I'm so proud of you baby!" She wrapped her arms around my neck and I reluctantly hugged her back.
"How did you know I'd be here?" I ask but she doesn't answer.
Instead I feel her lips press against my cheek. I began to feel uneasy because I didn't belong to her and she shouldn't be kissing me. I belong to Jamiah.
I look up and to my surprise see Jamiah staring at us with a blank face. As a reflex I slightly push Nycole off of me but Jamiah is already storming off. I messed up again.
"What's wrong?"
"Uh.. I.."
"Nevermind. Let's go. We gotta go out and celebrate." Before I can argue , she drags me through the crowd and to a car.
I get in on one side and she gets in on the driver side.
"I saw your little ex." She says as she pulls out. "Why was she there?"
"She was there to support me obviously." I spoke annoyed. How could she be pressed about Jamiah when Nycole wasn't invited in the first place.
The rest of the ride was silent until we pulled up to a Buffalo Wild Wings. She turned off the car and turned in her seat to face me.
"I know you're not thinking of going back with her."
"What?"
"When you needed her most where was she at? Hm? Because if I remember correctly I was there when you were all depressed about her."
"You know I love her Nycole."
"But we're supposed to be working on us. She shouldn't matter anymore." She spoke in a whiny mood and climbed onto my lap in the car seat.
She pressed our lips together and forced my mouth open by squeezing my cheeks with her hand.
"You don't need her. You belong to me." She said against my lips. At that point I couldn't take it anymore. I had to get out of here.
I pushed her off of me and got out of the car. "Don't text or call me anymore. Don't even try to come see me. I'm done with you."
I storm off into the street as I hear Nycole's faint screaming about how I'm making a big mistake. How we were meant to be.
I wasnt meant for anyone else except Jamiah and I realize that now.
I take off my golden graduation gown and toss it on the ground along with my hat.
It was about an hour walk before I made it to my house. When I opened the door my mother, sister and brother sat in the living room with a small blue cake that said 'CONGRADS GRAD'.
"Jacob you're here finally. " my mother spoke. I look around wondering if Jamiah was here. Why would she be here? She hates me.
"Jacob hey! I haven't seen you in so long." Skylar emerges from the kitchen and rushes to hug me.
I hadnt gone to see her in a while because of my depressive state but we did text here and there.
"I invited your other sister. I hope you dont mind." My mom said and I shook my head.
"It's fine mom." I pulled up a chair and sat near the only people I had left in my life that actually cared about me. Except one was missing.
"So do you know what college you will be attending?"
"Not sure. I'm still weighing my options." I had got accepted to a few universities. Some of them out of state. I decuded that I would major in English and become an author or a poet.
I had a lot of stuff in the works but I never finished. I noticed when Jamiah left my black notebook she left little comments throughout my work, stating her favorite ones and specific parts she likes. I didn't bother erasing them though.
"Well whatever you choose I support you 100%" I nod not really knowing how to respond. We had cake and conversed here and there for about an hour and a half.
"I'm gonna drive Skylar home alright. Don't kill each other while I'm gone and dont forget we have to get up early so I can take you back to your dads house." My mother spoke as she walked out the door with Skylar behind her.
Bella looked at me and rolled her eyes before getting up and taking her dishes to the sink.
"What did I do?" I chuckled and followed behind her.
"You know Jamiah really loves you right?" She turned to me with an angry look on her face.
"I'd hope so."
"So what the fuck is your problem then?"
"What?" I dont know why she was talking to me like that but I wasn't liking it.
"She puts up with so much from you and you just toss her to the side to entertain some other bitch!"
"What are you talking about? When have I ever tossed her to the side?"
"Ever since your dad died you treated her like she didn't matter. You don't know how many times she's cried on my shoulder from you ignoring her for months and seeing you show love to some other girl." Oh.
"You mean Nycole? She was just my friend."
"Do you know how excited she was to see you today? You haven't talked to her since your prom night and yeah it was pretty messed up what happened to you but you should've been there. When she needed you most you were nowhere to be found for your own selfish reasons. I was the only one to comfort her after what happened and where were you?"
"I told her I had to get myself right for her." I replied with my teeth gritted.
"It shouldn't matter how fucked up you are, if she needs your comfort then you're there regardless. She felt so alone coping with being raped and being dumped right after."
"I didn't dump her-"
"You just don't get it do you." She interrupted. "If you dont see that you left her in her most vulnerable state and went to play boyfriend girlfriend with someone else in her face then you have a problem bigger than what your stupid ass therapist can fix. And don't think I don't know about you and Nycole's little fling and you telling her that you're over Jamiah because I have sources. I just haven't told her because I don't want to cause more damage on her heart than what you've done already."
With that she walks past me and makes sure to bump my shoulder harshly.
I reached for my phone and went to our message thread.
I know I messed up really badly but can we talk?
'This contact is no longer receiving messages from you'
What?
You seriously blocked me?
'This contact is no longer receiving messages from you'
Look I know you're hurt but just let me fix it
'This contact is no longer receiving messages from you'
I locked my phone to prevent myself from breaking it. It seemed that my life only got worse and worse as time went on.
Maybe she needed space. If it's space she wants, then space she will get.
The End
Only it's not officially the end😉