Long chapter 😌💕💕
**Jimin's POV**
"Jin?" My heart dropped when I saw her face looking back at me instead of Jungkook's.
"Jimin, hey." She looked happy to see me, as if I hadn't rejected her and been ignoring her the whole time. "I- We- um..." Her confidence must have left after seeing me, blushing madly in her state. "We need to talk about us. I'm glad you came here to meet me... it shows a lot-"
"Jin." I cut her off, not wanting to lead her on. "I came here because I thought you were someone else. I'm sorry." I didn't want her to feel like shit from all the times I've had to tell her the same thing. I still care about her, we were friends and I would really like to be friends again, no matter how cliché that sounds.
"Who? I put my initials on it through." A blush started creeping up as she started thinking about it. "Wait..." What would she say? "You mean... Jungkook?" I nod slightly, anticipating her reaction only to see her laughter. "But the letter was clearly meant to sound romantic." I bite my lip, hating to be in this situation. "Jimin..." I can't seem to meet her eyes. "Jimin." She repeats. "He's not gay. He would have told me if he was." I could tell I was as red as a tomato right now, being outed by my crush's own sister.
"I-I know." The words were hard to get out, the lump in my throat making it really difficult.
"He doesn't love you." Each word she said left a cut on my heart.
"I know." But I lo-
"So why don't you cut the shit and work things out with me? Jimin, you told me that you used to love me. You can't tell me that it has all gone away! That's not what love is!"
"I... I guess." I did love her. More than she'll ever know. Her expression was expectant, waiting for me to agree. Is this what she wants? For me to be with her because no one wants to be with me? "I don't know Jin, I mean... Mayb-" My eyes widen as a muscular figure comes near. Jungkook.
"Leave Jin." His fists were balled up, his bottom lip red, nearly bleeding from biting on it for so long.
"What?" She snaps. "Don't tell me what to do, I am talking with Jimin right now so-"
"No. You're. Not." Jungkook emphasizes every word, expressing his dominance. It scares even me, sending chills down my spine. "Leave now or you'll regret it." Jin exchanges looks between Jungkook and I. In all reality, she looks like she's about to shit her pants. But if she leaves, I'll shit my pants with her. My head falls, my lip biting uncontrollable. She's going to leave me with him. He's furious.
"I fucking hate you Jungkook." She left. She really fucking left me here. I could feel my eyes burn, knowing exactly why he's here. He found out. He knows. Tears fell in front of me, landing on the blades of grass. Why isn't he saying anything?
"J-Jungkook... I can explain." I wanted to appear strong, to show him that I did this for a purpose I cared about.
"Really?" His harsh voice caused me to flinch. "And what will you explain? How you pranced around pretending to be something you're not?" He kept berating me with his words, my silent tears becoming sobs. "Or will you explain why you played with my heart?" His heart? I look up to see he was teary eyed as well, clutching the front of his shirt.
"I'm sorry I pretended to be a girl, I know you cared about... her." I couldn't look at him anymore, it was too embarrassing.
"I'm not talking about that." His tone deepens, his tears still trapped on his eyelids. "It was so much more than that."
I couldn't understand what he was talking about. Wasn't he upset about girl me? Confused, I continue. "I had to do it for dance. Ever since I was little I knew I wanted to dance, I'm so sorry I mixed you up in this."
"Jimin you never had to go on dates with me or be my friend. That was all you. What could you possibly gain from that? Did you just use me to get to Hoseok? Was that all I was?"
"No! I didn't even know about him, I swear!" I had no idea how to say what I wanted to without sounding selfish. "I... I went on those dates with you because..." My cheeks were burning now, showing him how I really felt. "I thought it was for you, so you wouldn't be rejected and then you would get over me... but you weren't. It turns out I wanted those dates for me." Even though he was still on the verge of tears, his own cheeks reddened. Out of embarrassment I'm sure. "I-I really enjoyed spending time with you even though it was selfish of me to lead you on like that." He stands still staring at me, his mouth opens and closes repeatedly as if he can't make up his mind. "Say something." I practically said I like you Jungkook. Please say something.
"What about after?" His voice was now quieter, less angry and more hurt. "Jimin, you made me your friend but you kept pushing me away. And now it turns out that you were hiding this from me the whole time? I thought we were better than this, closer than this."
"I was hurt... you kept choosing someone that didn't exist over me! Do you know how that feels?"
"What do you mean, choose her over you? I liked her a lot and you were my friend." The argument wasn't violent but I still felt each and every cut he made on me. "Now we aren't even that."
"N-no, Jungkook-" Even if he didn't like me back, I couldn't lose him forever.
"Save it Jimin. How can I trust anything you say?" His anger comes back, his legs stomp when he walks closer. "You lied to me everyday I knew you. Do I mean nothing to you?" He shouts at me, staring me down, our faces inches apart. "Do you know how much you hurt me? And to think that I really thought I might have l-" He stops himself, chuckling.
My eyes narrow at what he could have said. "Might have what?" His cheeks gain a little pink at the top but he turns away coughing. "Tell me." If he feels the same, I can save this. We can-
"Nothing. It's useless now anyways." Do it Jimin. Before he could turn away completely, I grab his wrist, pulling him back to face me. Do it now. His eyes were staring right back at me with... pain. I can't take it. My hands take control of his cheeks so he doesn't move away. "Jimi-" I cut him off with my lips, our teeth clashing through our lips. His soft lips. He remains stunned, not pushing me away but not giving in either. Instead of waiting for him, I lean my body closer, tilting my head to the side for better access. His fingertips settle on my waist, testing to see if he really wanted this. But his hands plant on my chest, pushing me away from him. "What the fuck Jimin?" Then he does the worst thing he could've possibly done. He wiped off his lips with the back of his sleeve in disgust. "Why the fuck would you do that?"
"I-" I had no idea how to answer. "I thought-"
"What? That I was gay for you? What the fuck?" He was more enraged than ever, practically spitting out his words. "I'm not trash like you."
"I-" I was swimming in embarrassment, in pain, in my tears. I hadn't realized how far my sobs had gotten until I rubbed my cheek.
"Why don't you do me a favor Jimin, let's never see each other again." With that, he turned and left me alone with my uncontrollable tears. Why would you do that Jimin? You ruined everything.
**Jungkook's POV**
With tears in my eyes I ran. I ran until my legs burned with desire to stop, until my lungs themselves were begging me to slow down, to walk. I ended up at Taehyung's house, not wanting to confront my sister at the moment or anyone else for that matter. I wanted to talk with someone I trusted, someone I could tell everything without worry of judgement.
I knock on the door, wiping my tear stained face in case it was one of his parents who answered. But I knew they were probably asleep by now. I didn't even realize how late it was until I took in my surroundings. The door cracked open, revealing a sliver of Taehyung's sleepy face. Instantly I let my guard down and my eyes started watering again. He opens the door even wider and pulls me inside, bonking my head. "You idiot, why are you crying?" So much for no judgement.
"J-Jimin... he-" His face softens at my babble and pulls me in for a hug.
"So things didn't go well with him huh?"
I nod. "We fought- we..." I didn't want to continue but I knew I had to get it out or I might self destruct. He pulled me downstairs to the basement, where the cozy carpeting comforted my cold feet.
"Tell me everything." He sits patiently on the couch so I join him, crossing my legs.
"H-He was talking with Jin about something when I found him. I don't know why she was there but I didn't like it." Taehyung's lips creep up into a smirk that disappears as soon as he knows he's caught. "I stopped them from talking anymore and made Jin leave, even though she was really angry." I didn't want my sister to hate me... I love her too much for that. "Then Jimin and I started talking and we said- well... I said some harsh things and..." My eyes start to burn again, remembering the fight. My lips tingle as well, remembering the kiss. "I thought he might like me..." Taehyung looks confused but doesn't interrupt me. "He told me he went on those dates as a girl with me because he wanted to. Then I wondered if he liked me..."
"Well, that's good right? Don't you like him?"
"I-" It was all jumbled in my brain, the moments we spent together. I ignore his question, continuing. "We kissed."
"You what?" Taehyung shouts at me, holding onto my shoulders. "You kissed?!?"
My ears hurt from his yelling so I pushed him back onto his couch. "Well... he kissed me and I didn't... pull back that quickly." I could feel the butterflies in my stomach when my fingertips brush my lips.
"So you're dating now?" I shake my head, groaning.
"I-I pushed him away, wiping off my lips." I knew what I did was horrible, I didn't need Taehyung's facial expression to show me that. But again, he said nothing. "He said that he thought I liked him back and I said no, that I wasn't gay for him... and that... I wasn't trash like him." Hearing myself, I knew it was too much. But I was angry, with all the right to be. I wanted to reject him, hurt him like he did to me numerous times. Except things don't ever go as planned. I hurt myself when I saw his pained expression, the look of pure shock on his face when I called him trash. Taehyung yanks me out of my thoughts when he slaps me, in the face, hard.
"You fucking called one of my best friends trash? Because they were gay?" I couldn't believe I forgot he was gay himself. He spent so many afternoons with me when we were little because of the homophobic bullies in his neighborhood and now I'm calling all gays trash in front of him.
"I'm sorry Tae I-" He shakes his head standing up. "It was in the heat of the moment! I don't really feel that way!" His eyes were brimming with tears too, not bothering to hold them in.
"You're such a fucktard Jeon Jungkook."
"Tae..." He sighs, sitting back down on the couch with his arms and legs crossed.
"Was that all you said to him?"
I shake my head, looking down and twiddling my thumbs. "I told him that it would be better if we never see each other again..."
"Such a fucking idiot." His hand cards through his hair, his body dropping to the couch. He lays there with his arm over his head, motionless. "Why did you do that to yourself? To Jimin? You know you're this hurt because of how much you like him." My cheeks redden at what he said. Me like Jimin? "What, did you think that you could be that cruel and expect everything would be ok?"
"I just... wanted to hurt him, like he hurt me. But I ended up hurting myself..." He was still with his hand over his eyes, not saying anything. But the more I thought about it, the more I knew it was true. "He doesn't care about me." Taehyung removes his arm to glare at me. "I wasn't worth anything to him." He sits up, his eyes now daggers. And we all know, the worst thing about being lied to is knowing you weren't worth the truth.
"Shut up Jungkook." His face was full of disgust, probably from the fact that I called gays trash. "You know you like him and that he likes you. Admit it."
"I-" I pull in my knees to my chest to hug them. My sobs were loud enough to wake his parents probably. Tae sits and listens, patting and smoothing the top of my head. I messed everything up, I hurt him to his very core and he doesn't even know the truth.
I like you Jimin.
So much.
**Jimin's POV**
"I'm going to fucking kill him." Hoseok's eyes were clouded with anger, a whole other side of him presented to me in the worst way possible.
"Hoseok don't. I deserve it. I deserve everything." He pulled me in closer and wrapped his arms around me.
"Don't you ever say that again Jimin! The only thing you deserve is happiness and true love."
"Ha." I couldn't help but laugh. It was a funny joke. "There's no such thing." His expression saddens. "For me anyways..."
"Don't say that either! I knew Jungkook was going to hurt you in some way, it was only a matter of time-"
"Hoseok, I hurt him. I know he said a bunch of things to me but I'm in the wrong here. I toyed with him and I know that must hurt. I just... hope he can forgive me." I snuggle deeper into Hobi, letting sadness take over. He pulls his blanket over us, warming up his bed.
"I-I guess." He had nothing to say so he kept rubbing my back and holding me tight. "I'm still going to kill him though."
I chuckle into his chest, feeling a little sleepy. "Shut up. We both know you won't." He doesn't say anything, just soothes me until I feel the sleep take me over with one last thought that lingered.
Please forgive me Jungkook.