Chapter 61: Uncovered Feelings
Mikaze-senpai really is good looking. Looking at him with the water from the aquarium reflecting onto him in this dimmed lit space, he looks so wonderful. I think most girls would say something like "This is like a dream" or something like that; I would agree.
Eh? W-what am I thinking to myself? T-that's kind of embarrassing but I really do think that he is actually very cute and that this day is really like a dream. Maybe I was working and fell asleep in the process and perhaps this is what I am dreaming right now. Ugh...it's like I want to wake up and at the same time, I don't want to. Why does love make people so conflicted?!
"Kaori."
"W-what is it, Mikaze-senpai?"
"I'm very sorry."
"S-sorry? For what? I don't think you've done anything; I think."
He stopped walking and looked at me; he took both of my hands.
"I'm really sorry for my behavior during the filming of the drama series; that time when we went to watch you in the studio. I didn't mean to hurt you or ignore you; I just lost my composure for a moment during that day. I was at fault; you did nothing wrong at all. I also apologize for avoiding you for the days that came after...I was just...ashamed of my actions; I couldn't face you. I really am sorry."
"...So you weren't mad at me at all? I didn't do anything to upset you?"
"Not at all; I'm very sorry. I made you upset instead..."
"It's alright, Mikaze-senpai! I-I'm very relieved; all this time I thought I did something to upset you."
I thought you started hating me or something. I was afraid that you wouldn't want to talk to me or see me ever again. I'm so glad that he doesn't dislike me; I'm really really glad.
"I forgive you; I don't know what made you act that way but I'm sure you have your reasons. It may be personal or something that has nothing to do with me at all so it's alright; I understand. Everyone goes thru something."
"..."
I can feel his grip getting tighter and he sighs.
"I'm relieved as well that you've forgiven me; you're really too kind to people, Kaori. I thought that you'd resent me for my foolish actions."
"I don't think I could ever resent you, Mikaze-senpai."
He looks at me for a moment; he looks a bit surprised. I really can't resent him though; how could I resent a person that hasn't done anything wrong to me and a person that I like so much?
"M-Mikaze-senpai, you can let go of my hands already; you've been holding them for a while now and they certainly don't feel cold anymore."
"Okay...I'm glad they're not cold anymore."
"Yeah..."
Actually, I wish that my hands could stay colder for a while longer so that I'd have an excuse to continue holding his hand but I know that I can't and shouldn't do that...The thought alone hurts a little.
He seemed hesitant but releases my hands anyway and slowly I could feel my hands losing his warmth; I started feeling sad inside.
I can't...I really can't take it anymore.
He was starting to walk forward when I suddenly grabbed his hand; he got surprised.
"Kaori...?"
I can't keep it inside any longer.
"Mikaze-senpai, I think you're really really talented; I really love your voice and your music."
Maybe he'll end up resenting me for what I'm about to tell him. Maybe he'll start avoiding me all over again.
"You're also really kind and I think that you're really thoughtful and considerate."
Maybe he won't.
"I enjoy the times when we talk and when I'm with you; the times when we're together. Even if we don't talk, just seeing you or staying there by your side makes me feel really happy inside. I always say "See you again" instead of "Goodbye" because that was what I was always hoping for each time we parted ways; I always looked forward to seeing you again."
But that doesn't matter to me right now.
"I like everything you do, everything about you; I like being with you."
All that matters to me right now...
"I really like you, Mikaze-senpai."
...is to say...
"I've fallen in love with you."
...what I really feel deep inside my heart.
S-somehow, I can't s-stop shaking. That was harder t-than I thought; it's not easy to say one's feelings after all. I had my head down the whole time so I took a glimpse of his face; he seemed really surprised but I don't know if it's a good or bad thing.
"...Kaori, I feel—"
I immediately released his hand and I couldn't look at him in the eye.
"W-we should go now; Rei-chan might be out of the tunnel already. It would be r-rude to make him wait for too long."
"Kaori, wai—"
I went on ahead of Mikaze-senpai; my pace was quite fast. I think he tried to get hold of me but I was just too fast. I really did walk on ahead; I'm sure that I left him behind. I'm sorry! I-I need to calm down. I don't regret what I did but now...I'm too scared and embarrassed to face him; I'm scared of what he'd say to me.
"Kaori-chan! You guys took a while thru the tunnel! Huh? Where's Ai-chan?"
"I-I'm going to go and buy something to drink. I'll be back; I have my cell phone just in case I can't find you guys."
I immediately walked away and went off to buy something...anything! As long as I could just calm down for a moment.
"O-okay...?"
Mikaze-senpai then comes out of the aquarium tunnel.
"Ai-chan! Did something happen while I was gone?"
Mikaze-senpai nods.
"What happened then? Kaori-chan was kind of quick on her feet when she came out of the tunnel."
"She confessed to me, Reiji."
"She did?!" Rei-chan's face was joy and worry mixed together. "W-what did you say then?! What happened after?! Tell me!"
"Earlier, I got to apologize to her for my uncalled behavior from before and then she suddenly confessed to me..."
"And then?!"
"She suddenly left..."
Rei-chan grabbed Mikaze-senpai's shoulders.
"So you didn't get to tell her what you felt or think after she confessed?!"
"No, I didn't get the chance to..."
Rei-chan sighs.
Mikaze-senpai looks around and gets a bit worried because he couldn't find Kaori.
"Reiji, where did Kaori go?"
"She went off to buy a drink; she'll be meeting us here. I can't believe she ran away! I guess it was too much for her...Argh! The frustration is killing me!"
"..."
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"I'm back..."
Who would have thought that it was already evening? I bought a nice hot cup of green tea to calm me down; since evenings are usually a bit cold. I stayed behind Rei-chan because I really couldn't bring myself to look at or be seen by Mikaze-senpai; I really am too embarrassed to face him at the moment and I'm still shaking a bit...
"Look at the time! Time sure flies when you're having fun; let's head back to the dorm. We should buy some food to eat in the car on the way back; there might be traffic or who knows what."
I nodded and we followed Rei-chan into the food court.
"Whatcha getting, Ai-chan?"
"I'll have meal A."
"Okay. What about you Kaori-chan?"
"Meal C but I don't want the soda that comes with the meal; I'd prefer just a bottle of water since I have my tea."
"No problem; I'll take your soda then and get you water. You guys wait at a table while I go order."
Mikaze-senpai and I sat at one of the tables in the food court. It was a bit awkward...
"You're drinking green tea, aren't you?" he asked.
"Y-yes."
"You like green tea a lot..." he said softly.
I nodded. "I like how the bitterness and sweetness is combined well in green tea."
"I see."
It's kind of awkward...isn't it? This is awkward...
"Kaori, about what you said earlier—"
"Yo! The service was quite fast so I got our food and drinks! We can head on over to the car now."
Rei-chan then notices Mikaze-senpai's scowl that was directed at him.
"I'm sorry for intruding." He whispers to Mikaze-senpai.
We reached the car and I sat at same seat—beside the right window.
"Ah!"
"What's wrong Rei-chan?"
"My car! One of the drinks spilled onto the passenger's seat! I hope the soda doesn't leave a stain on the seat!"
Rei-chan uses some tissues to wipe some of the soda off of the seat.
"Sorry Ai-chan, you'll have to sit at the back. It's soaked! How could I have let this happen?!"
"It's alright, I don't mind."
Mikaze-senpai opens the back door and sits beside me; he puts the food we bought on the seat beside the left window.
"Kaori-chan, you can put your tea here on the cup holder if you want."
"Okay."
Rei-chan starts the car and we went on our way back to the dorm. Today was really fun...but...maybe I shouldn't have done that...
We started eating and had casual talks in the car as Rei-chan drove but we became quiet after an hour or so since we were quite tired after a long day.
"It's gotten quiet there. So, how are you guys back there?"
"Don't be too loud, Reiji; she fell asleep."
"Kaori-chan's asleep? Sorry, my bad."
A little anxious, Mikaze-senpai looks at Kaori and holds her left hand; he closes his eyes and leans a bit to her.
Rei-chan exits the highway and enters the main road. He was driving smoothly until he reaches a certain street.
"Eh? What's this? There's traffic? Sigh, maybe there's a construction undergoing or something? I should have passed the other way then. Oh well, there's no turning back now."
Rei-chan lets go of the steering wheel and reaches for a burger and a drink; he relaxes as he waits for the cars to move. The cars were in a standstill but occasionally, the traffic would move. Rei-chan later on sees a signage for a road construction.
"So it's a construction; this is going to take a while. We won't be back at the dorm till later."
"Hey Ai-chan, you can take a nap too. It looks like we'll be on the road for a while."
"Ai-chan? Hello?"
He looks at the rear view mirror to check on Mikaze-senpai at the back; Mikaze-senpai was sleeping. We were both asleep and I was leaning on Mikaze-senpai as he held my left hand with his right; he feels really warm.
Rei-chan smiles at the sight.
"Looks like we're going to be stuck here for a while; you two just stay warm and cozy back there." He chuckles. "Seriously, you two are quite frustrating to watch; you guys are driving me crazy. Maybe I should find a cute girl soon, haha."