Lebanon, Kansas
Eight days later
A nurse came in preparing my discharge paperwork. They removed everything I had been hooked into for over a week. I sat up and gave a long stretch. Dean had brought me a change of clothes the night before. I hurried into the bathroom and shut the door. The change of clothes felt great. I walked out when Dean was coming into the room.
"Hey, you ready to head out?" he asked.
"Yeah, pretty much."
"You feeling alright?"
"Yeah," I smiled, "just tired. I don't know how I feel so exhausted, but I do."
"Well, you're going to take some time off from hunting."
"Yeah that would be smart."
"You're not going to argue?"
"No, you're right, Dean. I'd just be a liability for you guys," I sighed.
"You sure you're alright?"
"I'm fine, Dean. I promise."
He watched as I gathered the few belongings I had. I looked around the room. It was going to be nice to finally be out of here. We walked out of the room. Dean explained that Sam was researching for a case. I nodded and followed Dean to the car. We drove back to the bunker with broken, awkward conversation between silence. My eyes stared out the window. We stopped outside the bunker. Dean shut the car off and looked at me.
"What's going on?" he asked.
"Nothing, why?"
"You're not acting like you. Are you alright?"
"I think I'm fine. Just finally processing everything with a clear head," I replied.
"Oh."
"Its just a lot to go through, Dean. I don't think I am upset with you."
I got out of the car, leaving Dean behind while I walked inside. Sam was researching in the library when I got down the stairs. He stood up and walked over to me. He pulled me in for a hug. I groaned not returning the motion.
"What's up, grumpy?" Sam joked.
"I am just tired. I'm going to go lay down for a bit."
"Okay."
I walked past him and headed down the hall. The door to my room opened. I threw my things on the dresser. My body snuck under the covers. I curled up under the blanket. My eyes closed as I eventually fell asleep.
"Where's ____?" Sam asked with food in his hands.
"Where do you think?" Dean snapped.
"How long has it been?"
"Oh, about a month. But she did come out to get a glass of water today. So there's that."
"Have you tried talking to her?"
"No, Sam, I'm content listening to her cry every night. And then ignore me when I try to knock on her door. She doesn't even answer."
"What's she upset about?"
"She won't tell me. Maybe she really blames me."
"Dean, I got it. I know what we can do," Sam practically jumped up and down.
"What?"
"Come on."
"Are you going to tell me what you're thinking?" Dean asked.
"No, because you'll say no."
"Great."
They hurried out of the bunker. Dean groaning as his brother took him somewhere without telling him. They were gone for a few hours. I decided to take a bath. I left my door locked as I ran the water at my preferred temperature. My clothes fell to the ground before I sunk under the water. My fingers traced the healing scars across my abdomen. I couldn't understand why I felt this way. I wasn't mad at Dean, I really wasn't. But I couldn't shake this emptiness inside me. I didn't want to eat, I really wasn't sleeping and I just felt a way I hadn't felt before. There were times I wanted to talk to Dean, but I didn't know just what to say. There was a knock at the door. I sat up and drained the bathtub. I wrapped a towel around myself and opened the door slightly. Just my face peeked through the small space. Sam beamed at me eagerly. My face scrunched at his expression that I found suddenly annoying.
"What is it?" I asked.
"We have something really important to show you."
"You guys have been fine without me."
"Please just come take a look."
"I'm fine."
Sam stopped the door from closing with his foot, "Dean is really worried about you. He just wants to see you out for a little while."
"Sam, I-"
"And we kind of made a bet. I told him if I could get you to come up for a bit he'd have to let you drive the impala."
I opened the door a little more. My eyes looked his face over carefully. He looked serious.
"He's not going to nag me about how I drive it?" I inquired.
"Nope."
"You're not just saying this so I come out, right?"
"Of course not."
"I'll be up in a few minutes."
The door shut as I turned to get dressed. I pulled on a pair of shorts and a shirt. I didn't even try to look decent I was basically wearing what I wore to sleep in. My body trudged through the hall ways. I swore I heard Christmas music. I narrowed my eyes as I realized that was definitely what I was hearing. I turned into the library to see it decorated with a tree, and all sorts of Christmas junk. My body turned immediately hoping they hadn't seen me.
"____!" Dean exclaimed, "Merry Christmas."
"How drunk are you two? You realize it is only October," I said blandly.
"We just thought it would be a good time to celebrate," Sam grinned.
"Okay, I get it. You're trying to cheer me up or whatever. I'm not gonna get involved in this," I motioned at the whole library with my hand, "but Sam, you did get me to leave so I will take you up on driving the impala."
Dean, who was unfortunately taking a sip of his drink, spit it out across the floor. His head turned to Sam. Sam straightened his back as his body tensed. Dean shook his head in disbelief.
"You told her what?" he practically shrieked.
"I told her we made a bet. And if I could get her out of the room you'd have to let her drive the impala."
"What? No way! Sorry, ____, no."
"Guess I'll be going then," I said turning on my heel.
"Wait! Wait," Dean groaned, "fine. But I'm going with you."
"No backseat driving," I stated.
He groaned loudly and reluctantly agreed. I continued back to my room. Dean huffed as I walked away.
"There are presents," Dean said.
I stopped in my tracks and looked back, "seriously? You guys went all out."
"Looks like Santa brought some for you," Sam grinned.
"Santa isn't real, Sam."
Dean gave a deflated look at his brother, "you told me he was. How could you?"
He looked so pathetic. I suddenly burst into laughter. They looked over at me. I started crying suddenly, while the laughing continued. They both looked over at me. Dean rushed over to me and looked down into my eyes.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"I don't know," I smiled as tears poured from my eyes, "I know you guys have probably been worried-"
"Just a little," he smiled wiping the tears away.
"I-I just feel like everything is my fault. I'm sorry, Dean. I wanted to talk to you, but this feeling isn't something I know how to deal with. I've been so scared that you hate me."
"Don't be stupid, you know I can't hate you."
"Aw, bring it in you two," Sam strode over pulling us both into a hug.
I was squished between the Winchesters as they both hugged tighter. It suddenly felt like a competition of who could hug tighter. I gasped for air playfully.
"You two are crushing me!" I cried out.
"Sorry," they said in unison.
"Jinx," Sam got out before Dean.
"Ahhh! Now you really can't talk. It's time to drive baby!"
Dean glared at his brother. Sam laughed as I ran back into the room in seconds. I had never changed so fast in my life. I had pulled out a pair of gloves I used to wear when I rode my bike. I beamed at Dean as they slid onto my hands. My hand extended to Dean as he hesitated to drop the keys in my hand. When he did I booked it out of the room so fast. Sam gave a shrug of his shoulders. Dean found me outside staring at the car. I had a bounce to my step.
"Okay," I looked at him seriously, "you can't say anything. No laughing, no snarky noises. You just sit there and enjoy the ride."
Dean rolled his eyes and nodded. I ran toward the car and jumped on the hood. My body slid across it. And it kept sliding as I landed hard on my butt on the other side. I jumped up rubbing where I had landed. There was an odd snort as Dean tried to hold back his laughter. My hand pointed at him causing him to straighten up. I opened the door. Dean got in the passenger side. The car started as my hands ran across the steering wheel. I could feel the idling of the car. I looked over at Dean and smiled brightly.
"Hey, Dean," my grin grew wider with every word, "I've never driven a car before. Just so you know."
The on his face was priceless as I put the car into reverse. I slammed on the gas watching the view behind me. With a shift of gears and a quick turn of the wheel we flawlessly, and continuously, moved through the turn. My foot pressed into the gas as we took of down the road. Dean was gripping the seat and door handle tightly.
"It has been ages since I've driven a car this nice. Sounds like she needs a tune up though," I said.
The car barreled down the empty road. The engine roaring through the evening air. Dean never drove his car like this, but oh, baby sure could handle it. I looked over seeing Dean as white as a sheet. The wheel spun under my hands. We turned onto and empty road. As the car slid along the road making a u turn before coming to a stop on the side of the road. I put the car in park and looked at him proudly. Dean looked at me a bit shaken. His mouth opened. I held up a finger stopping him from talking.
"If I remember correctly, you can't talk unless I say your name three times," I smiled.
His body moved closer to mine. A devious grin sprung across his face. He nodded toward the back seat. He winked and nodded again. I laughed and figured I'd oblige his insinuation. My body rolled over the back seat as he got into the driver's seat. He put the car into drive and headed back to the bunker. I leaned over the backseat and looked at him. He had a smirk on his face.
"Aw, Dean, you got me all hopeful for nothing," I whined.
He held up one finger at me. I groaned as he stopped halfway up the road back to the bunker. He turned around and grinned.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
He pulled out his phone and texted someone. I stared at him as he gave a thumbs up to me and we drove back. We got out of the car. Dean covered my eyes and led me through the bunker. My feet carefully went down the steps. We got to the bottom of the stairs. There was a jingling sound as some odd sounding footsteps followed. Dean leaned into my ear and whispered Merry Christmas to me. Even though it was October I rolled my eyes. His hand removed from my eyes. A small ball of fur ran over toward us. I knelt down and picked up the small puppy rushing toward me.
"Did you get me a dog?" I looked up smiling at Dean.
"Well, I thought you might like some company for when we go out hunting," Dean said.
"You aren't supposed to be talking."
"Figured you'd cut me some slack."
"Well, you did get me this little guy," I held the puppy close as he licked my hand repeatedly.
"Well, you know, we should probably try raising something. I think it's something real couples do anyway," he said scratching his cheek.
"What did I do to deserve you, Dean Winchester?"
"You happened to be a beautiful woman, with a great taste in cars. And you've never stopped impressing me. I swear I fall in love with you more every day."
"Dean, it's fake Christmas you don't have to go over the top," I smiled.
"Yeah, sorry I guess I just got lost in how beautiful you look right now. I like you better with a smile."
"Thanks."
"I'd say we've been through a lot, wouldn't you?"
"Yeah, a bit. I've had quite a streak of bad luck after meeting you. But I have enjoyed it a lot. You're alright to be around."
"Um, that's why..." he fumbled over something in his pocket.
It dropped from his hand as a ring slid across the floor. The puppy, thinking it was a treat, wriggled out my hands. And in one split second it was gone. Dean growled and chased the puppy through the bunker. It was amazing how something so tiny darted around a grown man so easily. Sam walked in to the room to find me laughing on the ground.
"Something went wrong?" he asked before sipping his beer, and handing one to me.
"Yup," I said opening the beer.
Swearing echoed through the hall. Happy barking followed. And I wasn't sure if the growling was from the dog, or Dean. Sam helped me off the ground.
"What happened?" Sam inquired.
"The dog ate it."
Sam looked over at me. We both laughed as Dean stormed back in with the dog in his hand. He looked angry as he thrust the puppy at me. He looked annoyed. Sam and I had to contain our laughter.
"So, will you do the thing?" he groaned.
"What thing?" Sam interjected.
"Yeah, what thing?"
"You know this was much more romantic before you got here, Sammy," Dean frowned, "Just...will you?"
I took the dog from him happily. My hand waved as it fanned my face. I pulled out my best southern belle accent.
"Why Dean Winchester, I do declare you have made me the happiest woman."
Sam laughed next to me as Dean rolled his eyes, "seriously you too are such a pain in my neck."
"But you love us," we said together.
"I'm so done with you," Dean said walking away from us and grabbing a drink.
"Ya know, I just wanted to get you the dog," Sam said.
"I know. That had Dean written all over it."