Summary: Peace on earth? Goodwill to men? Not during an Empire Christmas!
___
Malcolm had no intentions of leaving the Lyon property – he lived n the east wing, after all - but he wasn't really sure where to go. Going to see Anika was out, of course. Bella primarily spent the daytime in the Lyon home, but she lived with Anika in the guest house in the evenings. After running five miles, doing yoga for half an hour, showering, shaving and eating some lunch, Malcolm couldn't take it anymore. He had to go and see Anika, even if it was for no other reason than for her to tell him to go to Hell.
On the way to the nursery, Malcolm passed by Lucious's office just as Cookie was coming out, face flushed, hair tousled and hiding a smile. That smile faded when their eyes caught. "Malcolm..." Cookie began, clearly embarrassed.
"How's Lucious?" It was the closest thing Malcolm came to giving an apology. He felt nothing towards Lucious, but there was something about Cookie that Malcolm didn't want to upset or disturb.
"He's fine. I don't even think he's going to fire you. He didn't mention it." Behind closed doors, Lucious had to acquiesce the fact that he had it coming.
"Yeah, and I'm sure that has nothing to do with those pictures of yours." When Cookie's face fell, Malcolm lifted her chin. "Don't worry," he assured her. "I would never do that to you, no matter how much you get on my nerves."
Cookie nodded, grateful for Malcolm's loyalty. "Go see your lady."
"Go tend to your man." It didn't do any good for Malcolm to stay angry with Cookie, nor did it make any sense for Cookie to stay mad at Malcolm. Not now, anyway. Both of them knew that for now, it was best to conserve their rage.
Hakeem was relaxing in the kitchen when Malcolm walked by. What the – "Hakeem! Did you talk to Anika?" Malcolm asked.
"Huh? Oh, yeah."
How long had Hakeem been sitting there? Why hadn't he called Malcolm or shot him a text? "Well? What did you say to her?"
"I told Anika the truth, man. I said you was a good dude, that you'd never hurt her, how you always have her back, like at the Christmas party, and how she should hear you out."
Ugh, that damned Christmas party. "Did Anika say anything?" Malcolm pressed. "Is she still mad at me?"
"Not really. She just said she wanted to be left alone for a while."
"And how long ago was that?" Malcolm's patience was running out.
"Coupla hours ago."
Malcolm could've knocked his teeth out, but what good would it do to get mad at such a simpleton? At least Anika wasn't too mad at him. Then again, she might have been, since Hakeem had mention that godforsaken Christmas singalong. All Malcolm could do was pray that Anika didn't hold such lousy memories against him.
---
"A singalong?!" Lucious asked the first week of December. "What kind of corny shit is that? This is Antonio's doing, isn't it?"
"You know good and hell well that man's name is Angelo," Cookie said, flipping through Lucious's mail as if she lived there. "I can't stand the idea of another big Empire Christmas concert, that's all. Can't we roll it in with the New Year's party and have something a little quieter, more intimate?"
"You just want your man to show his voice off in front of a bunch of people." If Lucious heard about Angelo's musical theater background one more time, he would vomit.
"What if I do?" Cookie smirked. "Angelo on piano, you on guitar. You know Jamal is the director of Angelo's choir. You can't have him working with them and playing piano and performing all in one night, and then expect him to perform on New Year's Eve."
"Choir, choir, choir...you talkin' about those tone-deaf kids who came in singing that stupid French song?" Lucious rolled his eyes. "I don't even think Jamal could make them sound any good."
"Whatever, stupid." Cookie shoved Lucious good-naturedly, ducking his attempt to kiss her on the cheek. "Anika, what do you think?" Cookie asked as Anika entered the dining room with Bella in her arms. "Don't you think a small Christmas party is a lot better than two big-ass concerts back-to-back?"
Cookie was making a statement, not asking a question, but Anika agreed. It was bad enough that the New Year's party would bring in hundreds of people. Doing it back-to-back within seven days had always been exhausting, and Anika was happy to try something new. "I think it's a great idea. Not everybody gets to host an intimate party with New York's mayor-elect, Lucious," Anika pointed out. "It's a great look for Empire, too. Empire, WOKE, all of us."
Anika had little desire to actually attend the singalong, but it would be hard to explain why the wife of Empire's co-CEO wasn't there, especially since Lucious insisted that Bella be there to celebrate her first Christmas with the Lyon family. "Are you serious?" Anika asked. The only thing Bella celebrated was being able to roll over on her stomach.
"Not all night. Just long enough for her to meet everybody, that's all," Lucious persuaded Anika with cat-by-the-canary-cage smile that used to make Anika lightheaded but now just made her ill.
For once, Lucious was true to his word. Bella was passed around long enough to take pictures and for Lucious to remind anyone who would listen that his wife Anika had had a child with a man she'd practically raised from his teen years. But the kicker of it – the absolute dagger – was the Lyon Christmas card picture, which consisted of Lucious, Cookie, Hakeem, Andre, Jamal and Bella. Anika could've put up a fuss or insist that she be in the picture with her child, but she was too tired and too embarrassed to argue the matter. It was an Empire shot, and Anika didn't work for Empire. Let them have it.
Anika wasn't surprised when Lucious claimed to be too tired to play the guitar. Still, the singalong was a smash without Lucious's input. Jamal had done one hell of a job with Angelo's choir, who took their cues from the Jackson Five Christmas album.
The Jackson Five
Wanna wish everybody
A mellow Merry Christmas
And a groovy New Year!
With the pressure of playing piano gone, Jamal's solo performances were as good as they'd ever been. He led the crowd through hits like Donny's Hathaway's "This Christmas" and the Temptations' "Silent Night", with Nessa taking Eddie Kendricks' falsetto notes. Then Nessa performed a wonderful rendition of "All I Want for Christmas Is You." Naturally, she directed the song to Andre, but Hakeem, who had reunited with Tiana by then, didn't seem to mind.
It wouldn't be Empire without hip-hop. To everyone's delight, Andre, Hakeem and Jamal got decked out as Run-DMC and got everyone shouting out lyrics from "Christmas in Hollis" and "What You Want for Christmas" by Quad City DJs ("FIIIIIIIII...FRESH GOL' CHAAAA-EEEE-YAAAAAANES...") . Leah had to be cajoled to sing "Santa Baby" – or at least that was what it looked like, since Leah had been rehearsing the song all week. When Leah began to stumble on the lyrics, Angelo's mother Diana gently assisted Leah until the two of them were singing as a duet. It was a lovely moment between a lovely pair of singers.
"Sing," Lucious ordered Anika under his breath after the first hour. It wasn't a good look for Lucious's wife to remain silent, especially since the Lyons were all gathered in front of the piano. There was a time when singing was as much a part of Anika as breathing; she'd formally trained as a mezzo-soprano in boarding school all the way through her Julliard years. Lucious's constant nitpicking had reduced Anika's voice to a whisper over the years. She had no soul. She sang like a white girl. How come she didn't know this song, and what the hell was that song? In time, Anika had been rendered mute.
At first, Anika sang very softly, almost lip syncing. But Angelo's voice was broad and warm, filling up the room like a warm mug of chocolate, and Anika's voice became audible in time. It caught Angelo's ear, and he turned his microphone in Anika's direction. "Sing," Lucious growled again, and Anika had no choice but to join Angelo in singing "Let It Snow." "Looks like I've got a partner!" Angelo said admiringly when they were finished. "Anika, do you know this song?" he asked, playing the Bing Crosby/David Bowie duet "Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy."
Anika glanced at her husband, who had an unreadable look on his face. "I do," Anika said, "but I'm going to need some help. Jamal!" Anika called. "Do you know this song?"
"I only know 'Little Drummer Boy'," Jamal answered. "If you can do the other song, I can harmonize with Angelo."
"Okay, let's do that." The men spoke briefly, picking a time signature and key. Jamal and Angelo had never sung together, but anyone listening would've thought they'd rehearsed this song for days.
Come they told me
Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
A newborn king to see
Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum...
Listening to Angelo and Jamal singing together, Anika nearly missed her intro, but remembered to come in right on cue at the last second. "Peace on Earth, can it be? Years from now, perhaps we'll see..."
The room exploded with applause when the trio was done. Anika had forgotten how much she loved to sing, back before Lucious criticized every note that came out of her mouth until all she ever did was hum. "Okay, Miss Anika," Angelo smiled. "How about this one?"
Angelo played the opening bars to "Baby It's Cold Outside," and Anika joined in. Then the two of them sent the crowd in stitches with "Fairy Tale of New York," a rollicking Irish tune about drunkenness, gambling and drug addiction.
You're a bum!
You're a punk!
You're an old slut on junk!
Lying there almost dead
On a drip in that bed
You scumbag, you maggot
Hope you get your bum kicked
Happy Christmas your ass
I pray God it's our last!
"Elle Dallas, everybody!" Anika yelled when she noticed Elle singing along, and Elle harmonized with Anika on the last verse effortlessly. "My kind of song!" Elle yelled before singing "Light One Candle" in honor of her Jewish upbringing.
"You done showing off yet?" Lucious sulked as Jamal took over on the piano while Angelo took a well-deserved break.
"You're the one who told me to sing," Anika reminded Lucious as she slid back into her role of docile Empire wife. "And how do you show off by singing at a singalong?"
When Lucious didn't answer, Anika couldn't help but rub it in. "Look at all these people having fun without you, Lucious. Thought everybody was gonna beg you to sing and play, didn't you?" Lucious's jaw twitched, but he said nothing. "Why don't you just admit you're intimidated by Angelo because he's a better singer than you've ever been?"
Right on cue, Angelo and Cookie returned from Angelo's break, hand in hand. Lucious's eyes nearly bulged from their sockets at Cookie's telling glow and Angelo's loosened tie. "Yeaaaah, Angelo took a break all right," Anika taunted. "Took a break to break Cookie's back."
"You know," Lucious said through a gritted smile, "one of these days I'ma slap the shit out of you."
"You probably will, Lucious." Anika leaned in and kissed Lucious lovingly on the cheek. "But it won't be tonight, will it?" she whispered in his ear.
"Hey!" Angelo's voice called from the front of the room, taking his place back on the piano bench. "Where did Anika go?"
"Yeah, where's Anika?" Nessa's voice called out.
"Oh, there she is!" Diana gestured for Anika with a friendly wave. "Honey, you need to be back up here, where you belong."
Lucious put Anika's arm in such a tight grip that she knew it would leave a bruise on her fair skin. "Let go of my arm," Anika said through her smile. It was Debutante 101.
Lucious let her go. "Keep showing off if you want to," he warned under his breath. "Just remember: pride goeth before destruction." It wasn't merely a Bible verse or even a threat. It was a promise.
Anika didn't drop her gaze. "If that's true, Lucious, then why are you still alive?"
Stunned, Lucious let go of Anika's arm. Until now, he never thought about just how deep Anika's hatred for him actually ran. "Anika, do you know 'O Holy Night'?" Diana asked as Anika made her way back to the piano. "It's always been one of my favorites."
"Oh, that's way over my head," Anika laughed. Only a fool would attempt such a demanding song, especially in a room full of musicians, without extensive rehearsing.
Diana patted Anika's shoulder and beamed. "Honey, with a voice like yours, you can sing anything, I'll bet."
"I...I don't think I can do that one." Anika frantically looked for the next best singer in the room. "Nessa? Care to take a crack at it?"
Nessa shook her head, her eyes wide. "I don't even know the words," she admitted.
"Mama Walker? You must know it." Anika was almost pleading for her mother-in-law to bail her out.
Leah shook her head. "I wouldn't dare try to compete with a voice like yours."
Was Leah being genuine? Anika had a bad feeling that she wasn't, especially when Lucious stepped forward. "C'mon, baby," Lucious encouraged. He made his way to the front of the room. "You can do it. I know you can." He smiled widely to his guests. "Come on, everybody! Let's give my wife a hand!" Of all the times for Lucious to be supportive, he chose now to build Anika up. How could Anika say no without sounding like a spoiled brat? And how was she going to get through the song without making a fool out of herself?
Before Anika could make another excuse, Angelo gestured for Anika to lean down so he could speak into her ear. "Are you really going to miss the opportunity to make Lucious Lyon's head explode?" He winked at Anika as she stood back up. If she would just listen to him and not Lucious, Angelo knew that Anika would knock that song out the park. "I'll play in E major, okay? You'll be fine, Anika. You got this. And I got you."
Angelo began to play the song slowly enough for Anika to take a deep breath and look back to her husband. Lucious's eyes were glowing, and his smile was wide. Leah was smiling, too. Seeing mother and son side by side, Anika knew now that Leah had been sincere when she encouraged Anika to sing. Lucious, on the other hand, couldn't wait to see Anika fall on her face in front of everyone. Be damned, Anika thought. If Lucious wanted her to sing, that was exactly what she was about to do.
O holy night
The stars are brightly shining
It is the night of our dear savior's birth...
Her audition for Julliard, the many performances for her undergraduate degree and her master's in fine arts...the church pageants and Midnight Masses...nothing, but nothing, was more important to Anika than the next four minutes of her life. At the end of the first chorus, Angelo held up two fingers, signaling for Anika to sing the second verse without assistance. By then, Anika's fear had vanished. The entire room was so still while Anika sang a cappella that Lucious's guests might have been doing the mannequin challenge. She could've sang much better in her heyday, but never had Anika sang with such passion until tonight.
Fall on your knees
O hear the angels' voices
O night divine...
Then another request came from nowhere. "Stop. Please, stop."
It was Cookie who ordered Anika to stop singing, and she'd barely gotten the words out. Her sisters, Candace and Carol, stood to Cookie's left and right, their eyes also filled with tears. "Please," Cookie begged Anika through her tears. "I can't-I just...you...please. I'm sorry...please, Anika."
Furious, Lucious pushed Anika to the side and rushed around the piano to get to Cookie. "Get away from me!" Cookie screamed, shoving Lucious with all her strength. She ran into Angelo's arms, who gripped Cookie tightly while she cried. Angelo and Anika exchanged anguished looks. What did I do wrong? Anika thought miserably, and Angelo looked even more alarmed than Anika was.
To Anika's surprise, Cookie extracted herself from Angelo's arms, turned to Anika and hugged her tightly, then kissed her on the cheek. "Ohhhh, Anika. Your voice is anointed. Thank you. That was my daddy's favorite Christmas song."
Anointed? Anika didn't know what to say. She felt strange soaking in the wild applause while so many people were wiping their eyes. Even Leah was clapping and smiling with genuine admiration and respect. Giddy from praise, Anika returned Cookie's gesture with a kiss and hug of her own. Peace at last!
A familiar face from the back of the room caught Anika's eye. Malcolm! Malcolm raised his eyebrows, held up his hands and gave a polite golf clap, but his eyes were bright and his smile as trusting as it had always been. Had Malcolm been there the whole time, listening to Anika sing? "Your face is as red as Rudolph's nose," Cookie observed while drawing Anika into another hug. She'd followed Anika's gaze when Anika returned Malcolm's smile with one of his trademark cocky two-fingered salutes. "You ain't slick, l'il girl."
Anika did her best to bring herself back down to Earth. "I don't know what you're talking about, Cookie."
"Uh-huh," Cookie dabbed at Anika's eyes with Angelo's handkerchief. "I hope Santa gets you what you want." She looked over at Malcolm. "Or who you want, I should say."
All Anika had really ever wanted was Cookie's respect. Everybody else's admiration was extra. "You're my hero!" Nessa shouted in Anika's ear, hugging her tightly. Andre surprised Anika by greeting her with a kiss on the cheek and a warm hug. No matter what the voices in his head had told him once, there was no way a woman with a voice like Anika's could possibly be evil. Finally, Hakeem eagerly greeted his child's mother. "Bella's first Christmas in the bank," he grinned. "We did it, Anika."
"We did, Hakeem. Merry Christmas." No matter how bad the situation had been that brought Bella into this world, Anika knew that she wouldn't have changed anything. Surrounded by her stepsons and admirers and a certain sexy friend in the back of the room, Anika couldn't have been happier.
She should've known it wouldn't last.
As the applause and the praise began to die down, there came the harsh, slow clapping of a single pair of hands. "Yes, yes." Lucious said, his voice sickeningly sweet. "Fall on your knees. What a beautiful message from my lovely wife. Fall...on...your knees." There was no way to misinterpret Lucious's message. "We should all spend more time on our knees, just as Anika here has inspired my family to do. Yes, sir...with a voice like that, Anika, you must be on your knees all the time."
"Lucious," Cookie whispered, horrified. "No."
"As we're all having this solemn moment of thanks," Lucious continued, taking the wireless microphone off the stand so he could walk around the room, "I would also like to thank my wife for the gift of my granddaughter, Bella. Or I should say our granddaughter, since her mama is her grandmama, too."
"Dwight!" Leah said sharply. She might not have liked Anika, but Lucious was airing out family business in front of outsiders, one thing Leah could never condone.
"See, Anika here had a baby by her stepson - my youngest son, Hakeem," Lucious explained, as a number of the WOKE choir members - some as young as 10 years old - looked thoroughly confused. "That makes Bella my granddaughter, you see. And since Anika is married to me, that makes her daughter her granddaughter, too. Make sense?" Lucious cracked up at his own joke. "Probably not. But that's the Lyons for you."
"What is wrong with him?" Diana whispered to Angelo, who - like nearly everyone in the audience - was stunned into silence or murmuring among themselves. "Is Lucious drunk?"
"Yeah, why is he trying to ruin his own party?" The newest person in the Lyon family circle, Nessa had never been privy to the typical Lucious Lyon antics, nor had she ever noticed the animus Anika and Lucious had for one another.
"Where is my son Hakeem, anyway?" Lucious called out jovially. "Hakeem, come up here for a minute so you can stand here with your stepmother! You two have a baby celebrating her first Christmas! Maybe Anika can fall on her knees about that, too. Oh, wait...she already did that, didn't she?" Lucious scanned the room until he found his next target. "Then there's my oldest son, Andre. Now, here's a man who has a lot to get on his knees for. See, my wife here killed Andre's wife-"
Jamal pushed his way to the front of the room. "Dad, that's enough!" He tried to reach for the microphone, but Lucious turned his body away. "-because poor Rhonda thought that Anika here had killed Andre's baby," Lucious went on. "But lucky for our family, Andre got his medication straightened out and he ain't crazy no more." Lucious grinned at Anika and Andre. "Or did you fall on your knees and fix that too, Anika?"
Andre made it to Lucious before Hakeem did. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Between his meds and his therapist, Andre had just started to make peace with Anika, accepting the fact that it wasn't her fault that Rhonda was dead. Contrary to his pre-medicated beliefs, Anika had nothing to do with the death of their child, and Rhonda would still be alive had she not tried to throw Anika over a building rail. It took months and months to lead up to their fragile peace. Now Lucious was here stirring up ill will, and for what? Because his wife sang a song at a singalong?
Not only could Anika no longer keep her head held high, but she couldn't even keep her eyes open. Any second now, her tears would break free from her lashes. Leah made her way to Lucious and placed her hand over the microphone. "Dwight, stop this! Stop it right now! She is your wife!"
By now, Lucious was having a gay old time. He pointed the microphone to Anika, who pursed her lips as tightly as she could. Her angelic voice had been replaced by soft, choking sounds. "Was there something you were trying to say, baby?"
The words, barely audible but clear as Christmas bells, rushed from Anika's lips before she could swallow them. "I hate you."
It was low enough for only the people around them to have heard her, but the effect on Lucious was immediate. Lucious turned the microphone off and handed it to somebody nearby, then took a step closer to Anika. "What did you say to me?" he repeated just as softly. The quietness of his words made them that much more threatening.
"Mr. Lyon?"
Malcolm wasn't walking from the back of the room, where he'd been not too long ago, but from the side of the room, through the kitchen. The crowd moved for Malcolm as if he was parting the Red Sea, and Malcolm moved like he expected them to do just that. "Sorry to interrupt you all," he apologized. "We need you in the nursery, Mrs. Lyon."
"For what?" Lucious and Cookie asked at the same time..
Malcolm gave Cookie an odd look, then deliberately turned his back to her, speaking to Lucious and Anika. "It's Bella, sir," Malcolm explained. "She's hungry and won't stop crying. Juanita tried to give her a bottle, but I guess Bella wants her mother."
It was the answer to Anika's prayers. "Excuse me." If Anika could just make it through the kitchen and out into the hallway, she would be spared the humiliation of having a nervous breakdown in front of everybody in the room.
"Yeah, well...who doesn't want Anika? She's so...accessible." Lucious blocked Anika's way through the kitchen, forcing her to take the longer walk through the crowd and out the back way, where Malcolm had been originally been standing. It also kept Malcolm from leaving the floor with Anika as he'd planned to do. "Hakeem. Go with your stepmama so you two can check up on your baby."
"Go to Hell, Lucious," Hakeem said under his breath. Looking straight ahead, Anika turned to walk behind Hakeem, but Hakeem took a step back and extended his hand for Anika to walk ahead of him. A swell of applause followed Anika and Hakeem as they left the room together to tend to their daughter. The clapping grew louder and louder as the two moved closer and closer to the foyer.
Hakeem stopped and took Anika's hand in his. "Take your bow," he encouraged with a warm smile, and he rose his arm to let Anika gracefully turn around and face the crowd. Every single person in the room was on their feet and cheering with gusto, and the person cheering the loudest of all was Cookie Lyon.
___
There was no crying when Anika and Hakeem came into the nursery. Juanita was humming and knitting. "Miss Anika!" she greeted. "I heard you singing down there when I was coming through the kitchen. Girl, you got a voice and a half!"
"Thank you, Juanita." Anika looked around. "Where's Bella?"
"Asleep in her crib. She's been a little angel all night long. Like she's trying to get on Santa's good list! Of course, she's always gonna be on Santa's good list."
"She's sleeping? But..." Anika's voice trailed.
"Something wrong, Miss Anika?"
"We'll take it from here. Thank you, Juanita." Hakeem pointed to the knitting. "Looks good."
"Why, thank you." Juanita leaned in for a hug and kiss, then packed her things and left. "How you doin', Malcolm?" she asked on her way out the door.
"Evening, Miss Juanita," Malcolm greeted respectfully.
"S'up, Malcolm?" Hakeem called from across the room. "I thought you said Bella was crying?"
"Did I? Must be hearing things."
Without batting an eye, Malcolm had lied to Lucious in front of everybody just to spare Anika further humiliation. That embarrassed Anika even more. "What are you doing up here, anyway? Aren't you working tonight?"
"I'm not on duty, no. And even if I was, it wouldn't matter. Party's over."
"Over!?" Hakeem and Anika asked simultaneously. "I thought it wasn't going to be over until midnight?" Anika asked.
"There's been a change of plans."
"I don't follow..."
Malcolm winked at Anika. "Go look out the window."
Hakeem crossed the room and looked out of the window. "Yoooo," he said wondrously. "Anika, you gotta come see this."
To Anika's surprise, the front porch and the driveway were filled with people, and the valets were scrambling like crazy. "What's happening?" Anika asked worriedly. "Is there something going on outside?"
"They're leaving, Anika." Malcolm was surprised that he had to connect the dots for her. "It's their way of turning their backs for what Lucious did to you. They're hitting him where it hurts."
"Where, his wallet?" Hakeem asked.
"No, his ego." Malcolm took his usual spot on the floor. "Hakeem, if I were you, I'd make sure your mother doesn't go killing your father. I don't know who's about to kill him first – Cookie, Andre or Mrs. Walker. Right now, Lucious doesn't have a friend in Jesus."
"Let them kill his ass, then." Hakeem kissed Anika's cheek on his way out the door.
"Why are you still here?" Anika asked when Hakeem left and Malcolm didn't move. God knew she appreciated the way Malcolm had bailed her out, but she was still embarrassed by it. Fall...on...your knees. Anika would never sing that song again as long as she lived.
Malcolm gave Anika his sweetest smile. "I'm dying for a cold Cherry Coke and this is the closest place I can get one. And if you have some of that salsa that you make..."
Anika waved towards the kitchen. "Your legs ain't broke," she said. "Go get it yourself. I'll be back in a minute."
While Anika changed out of her party clothes and checked up on Bella, Malcolm was setting out their usual snack – Cherry Cokes, chips and salsa. "What made you stop singing?" Malcolm asked the minute she came back in the room.
Anika shrugged. She knew Malcolm was going to ask. "I went into A&R work." She didn't like thinking about how Lucious had robbed her of her voice. "You want some cheese quesadillas?" Anika stood up, not really wanting to talk about it anymore. "I just made some yesterday."
"That sounds good. Watching Lucious Lyon make an ass out of himself is hard work. So is watching you shine." Malcolm raised his Coke can. "Tonight, you are the light of the world."
"You are the light of the world..." Anika sang wistfully. "You ever hear of a musical called Godspell?"
"I have." Malcolm rummaged through the cabinets. "Well, we can't have wine," he said, referring to a line in the song, "but we have wine glasses." He held up a pair. "Good enough?"
"Good enough. And I can have wine in moderation," Anika corrected. "Besides, I've pumped enough milk for...oh, I'm sorry," Anika apologized. "That's TMI, isn't it?"
"What, baby food? I think I'll be okay."
It was silly, drinking Cherry Coke from wine glasses. But between the singalong, the walkout, and talking with Malcolm, Anika was in a bit of a silly mood. "So how long were you up there, watching me sing?" she asked Malcolm shyly.
"Don't remember. But I heard all of the last song you sang." Fall on your knees. Malcolm was agnostic, but Anika's voice made Malcolm want to grab a staff and follow the star in the East all the way to Jerusalem. "Your voice is a gift from God, Anika, and you shouldn't hide it like you do. So let your light so shine before men," he added in a lovely baritone. "And Lucious, too."
"Is that your favorite Godspell song – 'You Are the Light of the World?'"
"No, mine is 'Bless the Lord, My Soul'. But 'Light' is another good one. And don't change the subject," he chided gently. "You still haven't told me why you don't sing anymore."
"I don't know," Anika said slowly. "I know I had a voice-"
"Have a voice," Malcolm corrected.
"Fine, have a voice. But... I know I don't have a soulful voice like Nessa's. You get around these kinds of singers and you get intimidated over the years. And then Lucious..." Anika's voice trailed. She didn't want to sound like a whiner, but there was something about Malcolm that made Anika think that he might understand. "Lucious would make fun of my singing a lot."
"Really?"
"Yeah. He would make fun of the songs I would sing. Or just the way I sing, period. Even if I was just singing under my breath, he always had something to say. He'd swear he was just joking, but it didn't feel like it. I know it sounds silly, but I guess he just got in my head."
Malcolm nodded slowly, understanding. "Back in Martinique, I was always the kid who led the class pledge or did the announcements over the speaker. I knew English, too. But when we got to America, it was a nightmare." Malcolm took a few swallows from his wine glass before going on. "Imagine this black kid in Bed-Stuy with this thick, French accent. I stayed getting my ass kicked. So for a long time, I stopped talking."
"What got you over your fear of speaking?"
"Comic books, believe it or not. There was this one – Black Panther. You ever hear of it?" Anika nodded. "It's hard to explain...here was this black man who was brilliant, but he was cool, too. I know it sounds weird, but it really did help with my English. Not just with the words, but with the rhythm, the tone, the vernacular, stuff like that. It boosted my confidence, too." Malcolm frowned. "I know it sounds weird getting all of that from a comic book, but seeing that kind of black man front and center meant a lot to me."
"Representation matters, no matter where it comes from." Malcolm smiled, happy that Anika understood. "So you collect comic books, huh?"
Malcolm's smile faded. "I used to have a huge stack of them, but my father threw them away one day. He said that comic books were junk and I shouldn't waste time reading them. I still read them, but I was afraid to bring them home. Damn, and they would've been worth a ton of money nowadays, too."
"I meant to ask you something, Malcolm." Anika took Malcolm's empty glass and refilled it, along with the salsa bowl. "If you weren't on duty tonight, what were you doing at the singalong? I know you weren't filled with the Empire holiday spirit."
"Oh. That." Malcolm rolled his eyes. "I was supposed to meet some friends up for drinks at a nearby sports bar and watch the Knicks play."
"Shouldn't you be going, then?"
Malcolm shrugged. "Never got into basketball. I texted them not too long ago and said I couldn't make it." He smiled in Anika in that way that made her face flush. "I'd rather hang out with you, if you don't mind."
Anika looked away, and she could feel her face turning red again. The sound of Bella crying saved her. "Depends," she answered back, not looking up. "What are you reading my baby tonight?"
___
Just as the sun crept into the sky, Anika shook Malcolm awake. The last thing Malcolm remembered was reading to Bella; how he'd wound up asleep on the nursery floor was a blur. "I'm leaving for my parents' house this morning," Anika informed him. "I'll have to be back by Christmas Eve or Lucious will pitch a fit as long as I have Bella with me," she said sadly. "But I can't even look at him this morning. I just can't."
Malcolm insisted on taking her bags out to the cab; if Lucious was downstairs, he wasn't about to let Anika battle it out with him alone. He hadn't even made it back to his suite in the east wing when Anika shot him a text. It was her home address, along with a message: WHAT'S URS? XMAS CARDS IN THE MAIL THIS WEEK.
Malcolm shot Anika his address in New Jersey. SEND $$$. OR PICS. ;)
Malcolm was the first to the post office, not Anika. Just four days after Anika left for her parents' house, a box with three gifts came for Anika: a bottle of vintage wine, an autographed poster of the 1973 movie cast of Godspell, and a CD of the corresponding soundtrack with "track 8" scribbled on a Post-It. Anika smiled as she found the corresponding song. "You Are the Light of the World," Anika read aloud. "Of course."
So let your light so shine before men
Let your light so shine
So that they might know kindness again
We all need help to feel fine
(Let's have some wine!)
Anika had received many gifts from men in her life, but none so thoughtful and kind. "Ooh, Nicki!" her sister Arielle gasped, spotting the vintage poster rolled out on the kitchen table. "Who got this for you? I know it wasn't Lucious's cheap ass."
"Nope, it wasn't. Roll that back up and put it back in the tube, please? I'll fix you some wine to go with our cookies." Filled with joy, Anika hoisted Bella out of her high chair. "Bella," she declared with pride, "you are the light of the world!"
Bella laughed and clapped her hands as Anika and Arielle skipped around the kitchen. "So let your light so shine before men," they sang happily. "Let your light so shine..." Never again would Lucious Lyon steal Anika's gift or her joy. Never again would Lucious steal her shine.
___
Back at the Lyon household a week later, Anika received a phone call on Christmas Eve. "Hi, Malcolm," she greeted, her heart racing a bit. She was half expecting Malcolm to call and half expecting him not to call. Just because she'd sent Malcolm a Christmas gift didn't mean that he had to call her.
"Anika, hey. I got your gift tonight. I...I don't know what to say."
"I hope I didn't overstep, Malcolm," Anika said. "It's just that what you got for me was so sweet..."
"Oh, no! Not at all. It's just...wow, Anika.... Wow. Thank you."
It was like Malcolm was a kid again, rushing to the nearest store to spend his lunch money on a comic book that he could never bring into the house. Only now they were all his. Even his older brothers were jealous. Malcolm made them copies of the USB drive that contained all the scanned comics, but he refused to open any of the books until he was back at his hotel. "What have you been up to since getting back to the house?"
"Drinking wine and driving everybody crazy listening to Godspell." Whatever good will had been shared at the singalong was dead. Anika taking Bella away without telling anyone had the Lyons united in distrusting her again. Even though Anika had left a message on the door and everybody knew where Anika's parents stayed, they still treated Anika visiting her parents with her own daughter as an outright kidnapping. "You wanna say hi to Bella?"
"Sure." Bella squealed and babbled at the sound of Malcolm's voice. "She misses you, you know," Anika informed Malcolm when she finally pried the phone away from her daughter. "You'll have to hurry back."
"Is Bella the only one who misses me?" Malcolm teased.
"No. I think Juanita misses you, too. When are you coming back?"
"New Year's Eve. All hands on deck for the big concert. Think Bella and Juanita can hang on that long?"
"Just barely."
"And you, Miss Calhoun?" Malcolm asked, his voice filled with concern. "Will you be able to hang on until I get back? I can leave the day after Christmas if you want me to."
"Oh, you don't have to do that, Malcolm." As long as Anika hid in the nursery, drank lots of wine and sang at the top of her lungs, she figured she could manage. "I'll be fine. Just..."
"Yes?" Malcolm prompted when Anika didn't finish her sentence.
"Just...promise me you'll be back in time for the New Year's party. I don't think I can go through that party alone."
"I promise." If Malcolm said he was going to be back by New Year's Eve, then Anika knew Malcolm was going to be back by New Year's Eve. The thought made her whole body grow hot, not just her face.
___
Perhaps the hours that had passed from the time Malcolm had made an ass of himself in front of Anika and the time he knocked on the nursery door had done them both some good. He could hear Anika singing tunes from Jesus Christ Superstar clean up the hall. "Well, well, well," Anika announced. "Look who finally showed up. Look, Bella!" she added sarcastically to her daughter. "It's Malcolm DeVeaux. Christmas must've come twice this year."
Babbling and cooing, Bella reached out for Malcolm. "Hakeem said you wanted to be alone for a while. I left you alone. But I missed my Easter bunny." Malcolm took Bella from Anika and blew raspberries on her stomach, smiling as she shrieked with laughter.
"That was two hours ago, Malcolm." Anika took Bella out of his arms and sat in the rocking chair. Just her luck Malcolm would get her all wound up before it was time for her to go to sleep.
"And I just found all this out two minutes ago. Look, are we gonna talk about this or not?"
"Excuse me? You don't get to dictate the way this conversation goes, Malcolm. Even a low self-esteem having wife can have some say-so."
"Anika," Malcolm said wearily. "That's not the way I meant it and you know it."
"Are you sure?" Anika pressed. "Because it sure as hell seems like the only reason why you ever got with me is because Lucious told you to be nice to me."
"Lucious never told me to be nice to you," Malcolm corrected in his usual blunt manner, and Anika visibly winced. "What I mean," he clarified, "is that what Lucious intended to happen isn't why it happened. I know he thought I would come here in the north wing and then we'd just start having sex-"
"Isn't that what happened?"
"Well...yeah," Malcolm admitted. "But that's not why I'm here."
"Then why are you here, Malcolm?"
"Financial stability and free rent," Malcolm said honestly. "Come on, Anika!" he pleaded when Anika rose from her chair and walked to Bella's crib, leaving him behind. "We didn't even talk for weeks when I first got here! I must've been here for a month or something before we said two words to each other. Remember?"
Anika stopped moving for a moment. How could she ever forget? "Dessine-moi un mouton."
Malcolm beamed. "That's right. 'Draw me a sheep.'" He smiled as Anika tried to hide her own. "Is my rose going to be mad at me forever?" he asked, taking her by the waist and drawing her close. "Vous me apprivoisé," he said softly in her ear. "You're stuck with me now."
The word apprivoiser was the source of many of Malcolm and Anika's post-Little Prince conversations. In English, to tame something meant to bend something – or someone – and mold it to their will. In French, to tame something merely meant to establish ties. But in the French version of The Little Prince, apprivoiser had a much deeper meaning. Out of all the roses in the world, the prince's rose was the only rose that he had eyes for. The prince protected his rose, cared for his rose, would die for his rose if it came to that. Did Malcolm feel so strongly about her?
I thought he liked me, Anika cried just a few hours ago, holding her baby girl in her arms for strength. Now, as Anika placed Bella in her crib to sleep, here Malcolm was saying that he felt much stronger than Anika could have imagined. Vous me apprivoisé, Malcolm had told her. You tamed me. And as the fox told the prince, "You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
The idea of such intense feelings – not to mention such responsibility - made Anika very tired all of a sudden. "I'm going to lie down, Malcolm."
"Want some company?"
Anika didn't answer, nor did she send Malcolm away when he followed her into the nursery's adjoining bedroom. Anika turned her back to Malcolm when he laid next to Anika, but she didn't push Malcolm away when he pulled Anika into his arms. Malcolm wanted Anika to forgive him so badly, she knew. She already had. And it wasn't Malcolm's feelings for Anika that was making her so tired. It was suppressing her own feelings for Malcolm.
Without words, Anika shifted to her other side. She rolled over onto her back and guided Malcolm's lips to her lips, then to her neck and breasts, then down her stomach and past her waist. It was just as well, Anika thought as her hands wound tightly in Malcolm's hair and her hips began to move. Anika was responsible for this man that she had tamed. Malcolm was her prince, after all. And Anika was his rose.