"James," Maria sighed once we were in the car, "You gotta dump him. He's no good for you."
Peggy nodded along and Aaron said, "Even Alexander is a better choice than him... A dumpster is a better choice than him." The others nodded along and I sighed, putting my head in my hands.
"I really like him! He's so... beautiful... and there's times when he can be really sweet and caring... I know he loves me he just... isn't good at love." I explained, looking out the window.
Maria said, "Reynolds could be really sweet sometimes too. I thought he was the perfect guy for me." Her voice sounded a bit longing.
But then she glared at the floor and clenched her fists. "But he's actually a punk ass bitch." Peggy kissed her cheek and I sighed.
"I... Okay. I know what I have to do." I nodded, sitting up and looking out the front window. Aaron glanced at me and then back at the road, his face flushed.
I smiled and announced, "I'm going to break up with Thomas once and for all." The others cheered and we went to our backup ice cream shop, getting even more ice cream. Aaron cleared his throat and made a mock toast.
"A toast to James and a new beginning for his love life!" Aaron laughed. We all joined in on the toast and laughed. I was planning how I was going to break up with Thomas.
I'll probably go up to him in school. He can't hurt me if we're at school in front of people, the cafeteria example. I would never text dump somebody because that would be absolutely awful. Also, I think it'll be easier if my friends are with me. But, they have to stay quiet.
This is gonna be really hard. Like, the breakup is easy for both of us but I don't know what to do with my love life afterwards.
I got friends that I can lean on. Aaron, Maria, and Peggy are super nice to me in comparison to my previous friends. Thomas has his friend group.
But, I don't know. I've only ever liked Thomas. He seemed like the perfect guy and then he turned out to be a total let down.
But, I think once I do this it'll be really good for me. I have to leave Thomas once and for all in order to continue on with my life. What we have is messy and bad and doesn't feel good for me at all. I need something healthy and Thomas isn't that.
He isn't good for me and I am so glad I finally realize that. So, I'll break up with him with my friends behind me in case I need back up. He'll hopefully just accept it and not try to push anything on me. It'll be fine. This'll be fine. We'll be fine. It's fine.
When I finally got home and they all left, I went to my room and rummaged around in the back of my closet. Way way way in the back of my closet is a fancy, dark blue case with-
"Got it!" I cheered, pulling out the ukulele case. I haven't played it in a long time because everybody said it was a stupid instrument.
Soooooo I kiiiiiiiiinda got bullied into complete silence to the point that I never picked up another instrument besides the drums ever again.
uNTIL NOW!!!!
Swiftly I undid the locks and opened it up. It was a clean, black wood with some fancy bright blue strings I got from the store.
I remember how I practically squealed when I found out they had colored strings for ukulele. They always carried colored electric guitar strings but no ukulele strings and it was always so annoying. But they finally put them in stock!
I gently strummed the strings, finding it miraculously in tune. G C E A. I hummed a melody and strummed a couple chords, pouring my heart out into the music. My eyes closed and I sang. Warning, even though you can't hear it, my voice is complete shit.
"Kill me, beat me, cheat me, defeat, treat me like the meanest me you've ever seen. Take away my pride inside and leave me to cry that's fine I lie."
I took a breath, the words jumbling in my brain. "Go away to Hamilton or something I'm nothing I sigh I'm fine I lie." Chorus was always the hard part.
"I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine
It's fine, It's fine, It's fine
You sigh, you lie, I cry
But like I lied
It's fine, I'm fine, you're fine."
Note to self: Stop pretending you can rap you sound like a dying cow.
"Strutting, strolling you're walking, rocking, rolling. No problems in your head live until you're dead I remember you holding me in bed not filled with dread no depression in my heart and head.
"My love life was fine and mine to decide and mind to hide and mine to confine but you didn't take time didn't wait in the line and I feel like I'm fighting for my life but."
I stopped and took a couple deep breaths. My chest was tight and my heart was beating out of my chest. I took a deep breath, used my inhaler, and started up again in the chorus.
"I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine
It's fine, It's fine, It's fine
You sigh, you lie, I cry
But like I cried
I'm fine, It's fine, you're fine and we're not fine."
The silence settled in and I set the ukulele aside. I rubbed my forehead in pain, trying to ease the migraine going through me in harsh, crashing waves. "Okay," I mumbled, standing up and grabbing my robe. "Time for a shower."
The next day at school I was nervous as hell. I had my ukulele with me, planning on escaping to the old library that nobody goes to anymore so I could strum my cares away.
Peggy and Aaron were by my side with confident smiles. Maria was in the cafeteria already, waiting for us to be there. She got to school early since she was on dance committee and had to help set up for prom.
I can not believe it's almost the end of the year. It really doesn't seem like the end of the year at all. In fact, it feels more like the beginning. But, no.
Prom is going to be coming up and me and all my friends already decided we're going in a group. Even though Maria and Peggy are obviously going to be flirting with each other throughout the entire night no doubt.
Me and Aaron will just hang out. Alone. Being stereotypical introverts by the punch bowl and eating all of the food they have to offer. Mmm cake. I love cake.
"You got this, James, okay? We're right behind you every step of the way. Anybody messes with you and we'll um... beat them up?" He ended with a question, unsure if that was the right thing to say.
Peggy nodded, patting him on the back. "Welcome to the squad, Aaron." She smiled. Aaron nodded and I laughed a bit, shaking my head at the two.
"Nobody is getting beat up, okay? I'm gonna break up with him and he's gonna understand perfectly." I reassured them, walking into the cafeteria and fixing my shirt. Why have I not gone out and bought new shirts that actually fit me properly???
"We're talking about the kid who beat you up in the mall parking lot."
"And cheated on you, don't forget that."
"Oh and didn't he take your-"
"YEAH OKAY I GET IT." I shushed them, standing up straight and walking towards where Thomas sat. 7:35 IN THE MORNING HERE WE GO LET'S DO THIS I AM SO READY FOR THIS.
Thomas was sitting next to his usual group. Jentsie, his arm around her shoulders, James Reynolds, and Amelia Vane Frederick who everybody seemed to just never notice because she was always in her brother George Frederick's shadow.
She's kinda a punk and rides a skateboard and that is pretty much all anybody knows about her. I cleared my throat and cracked, "Th-Thomas we need to talk."
Thomas turned around and I saw the marks littering his neck. Jentsie had matching ones and I had to use every ounce of energy in my body not to cringe at the sight.
He raised an eyebrow and smiled nervously. "Okay," He laughed, "I've actually been meaning to talk to you about some things too."
He took his arm away from Jentsie's shoulders and I relaxed a bit. His hand went into his pocket, about to grab something, and I spit it out.
"I think we should break up now. Officially." I started, shrinking a bit in my confidence. Thomas stared and Jentsie shot him a worried glance, something I didn't expect.
Whatever he was about to grab from his pocket he let go of it and stood up. He raised his voice and snapped, "What do you mean you don't want to date anymore, Jamie."
Peggy stepped forward and I held my arm out. And then I fucking snapped.
"It's shit like that, Thomas. Calling me names when you're angry, cheating on me with Jentsie, insulting me behind my back, using me, taking my virginity, and all the other bullshit you're doing behind my back!" I yelled, gaining the attention of the entire lunch room.
Even Mr. Washington froze in his spot to watch the event unfold. Thomas looked around nervously at the glaring faces. All of them were glaring at him, shame in their cold, judging eyes. I continued,
"I am sick and tired of feeling so broken when I'm with you. I only had sex with you because you made me feel like it wAS THE ONLY CHOICE THAT I HAD-"
"I DIDN'T FORCE YOU TO DO ANYTHING, JAMES!"
"YES YOU DID! YOU MADE ME FEEL LIKE I WAS GOING TO LOSE YOU IF I DIDN'T HAVE SEX WITH YOU! AND THEN YOU LEFT IN THE MORNING TO HANG OUT WITH NONE OTHER THAN JENTSIE! AND I SEE YOU TWO HAD SOME FUN AGAIN!"
Jentsie stood up to say something but Thomas cut her off before she could speak.
"Leave her out of this! This is between you and me, Jamie! I didn't do anything wrong here and you know it! In fact, you're just a jealous bitch as usual! You smashed my phone, looked through all my texts, and now you're dumping me over a couple of texts?! I don't even wanna date you anyway, skank!" He shouted, stepping forward and shoving me to the ground.
Aaron quickly helped me back up and Peggy stepped forward, my perfect backup.
"You know what, Jefferson?! He doesn't need you! You think this is a fatal blow on him and you're completely wrong! He has us! He has me and Aaron and Maria to back him up when assholes like you push him down! You're the one that's gonna be on your knees crawling back in tears!" She sneered, shoving him.
He stumbled a bit and fell back on the ground, staring up at Peggy with a glare that could cut like a knife.
Thomas opened his mouth to say something but then Jentsie spoke in a soft, quiet voice.
"Thomas, she's right... You aren't... You aren't exactly the best person in the world..." She trailed off and stood up with her lunch box, turning away from him.
He stared at her for a moment and then stood up, looking at the rest of the table. James and Amelia were gone now, off somewhere else that wasn't here.
Thomas nervously laughed and reached out a hand to her. A shaky breath escaped his lips as he mumbled, "Baby, come on."
"You're a dick, Thomas, okay? You hurt people and don't even think about it and then wonder why nobody's your friend anymore-"
"I HAVE PLENTY OF FRIENDS, YOU SL-"
"LIKE WHO BECAUSE SO FAR YOU DON'T HAVE ANYBODY STANDING UP FOR YOU! NOT EVEN JAMES FUCKING REYNOLDS IS ON YOUR SIDE!"
Thomas looked around and realized he really was alone. I looked down, suddenly interested in my shoes more than the defeated expression on Thomas's face. I heard Jentsie walking away and saw Aaron go up to Thomas with shark eyes and a scowl.
"James knows who'll pick him up when he falls down." He began. Peggy tugged on my sleeve, suddenly annoyed by the staring.
I recognized the panic in her eyes and I nodded, quickly walking out and leaving the cafeteria. The last thing I heard from anybody in there was Aaron's soft yet cold snap.
"Do you?"
Prom night was approaching and in celebration of finding dresses and suits so quickly, we got ice cream of course. But, this time we went somewhere new and different since we were way on the outskirts of town.
Nobody we knew was around here, proving that we wouldn't accidentally wear the same thing as somebody else. (I didn't understand why this was a huge deal but Peggy and Maria insisted it was of the utmost importance).
We went inside and ordered our ice cream and then went over to a booth and sat down. Once we got our ice cream we happily ate it, talking back and forth about things. Aaron was oddly quiet
Well, he was always quiet but today was a lot different. He wouldn't even make a sarcastic comment or laugh at any jokes. Peggy and Maria had reassured me that everything was fine but I just couldn't believe that. I know Aaron more than anything and I know when he's upset.
Aaron glanced at Peggy and then nudged her arm. She nodded her head and her and Maria got up. "Sorry we gotta run a quick errand we'll be back soon." Maria explained, laying down a $10 bill and leaving with Peggy.
I watched them in confusion and then simply shrugged, going back to eating my ice cream. Aaron ate his ice cream in silence before he blurted out, "Do you wanna dance with me at prom? Just one dance is a-all I'm asking for..."
He looked at me with hopeful, worried eyes and I smiled. Aaron was cute, no doubt about that, but of course I wasn't ready for any serious dating.
He was adorable and would make an amazing boyfriend for anybody but I can only promise one dance and that's all. "Aaron, you're an amazing guy-"
"But I'm not what you're looking for?"
"But I need time before a relationship. I'll give you that dance though~"
"Oh... O-Okay."
I smiled and reached my hand over to Aaron's, gentle taking it and rubbing my thumb over his hand. "I'm glad you asked." I whispered, a small smile on my face. He nodded and smiled nervously, his entire face red.
"Well I've... wanted to ask you for awhile now... You're just so beautiful and talented and perfect I... I don't know honestly. I've just wanted this for awhile now." Now it was my turn to be red in the face.
I held Aaron's hand tighter and smiled. "Thank you Aaron you're too kind really."
So I'm not friends with Thomas anymore, I broke up with him too, I'm going to prom with my friends, have a slight crush on Aaron, my new best friend, and I am going to dance with him on prom night. I also have a serious brain freeze from this ice cream.
Jesus Christ what have I done.