The car ride to school was the most silent I'd ever heard Trent be. He hadn't said a single word to me since last night and something told me this is how it was going to be until we parted ways. Most of me didn't care, he could sulk all he wanted. It was his fault for not following orders and deciding to get involved. None of this would have ever happened if Valak had just let me work alone. Like I always did.
I found myself questioning what the point behind me being on this mission was. Valak had managed to figure out all the information I'd withheld from her either way, without my help and very soon she'd probably know who Grayson was and kill him still; so what was the point of getting a partner, going to that school and pretending to be something I'm not?
"For your sanity" she'd say. Yet everyday in that hell hole was driving me nuts. She didn't realise how much of an identity crisis I was drowning in; if I couldn't be a executor in the Agency, then what the hell was I supposed to be?
We finally got to school and put the car in park, Trent wasted no time in grabbing his bag and leaping out of his seat, banging the door shut behind him. He clearly hadn't heard Valak when she'd said don't cause a scene. I grabbed my bag as well and followed him through the gates.
"Hey, what happened to your arm?" Nito asked.
Trent didn't bother to stop. "Ask her," he replied gruffly, making his way into the corridors.
"We had a little sparing accident," I said then reached for what I thought was a joint in his hands.
"That's just tobacco," he said a little too late. I coughed and rub my tongue against the roof of my mouth to rid it of the bitter taste. "The good stuff is back in the man-cave. We can hit some later if you like."
"Sounds like a plan," I said as I led us both to our first class.
The rest of the day went by like a breeze. For the first time since I'd been there I felt like a normal student. I had no target to find -because I already knew who he was, therefore no mission to pursue. I could just live; aside from the fact that my first real... friend if I could call G69 that, was pissed at me and I had to kill Grayson, I was just a typical girl at an all boys school.
I actually participated in classes that day and instead of using lesson time to calculate ways to catch the culprit I learnt a whole lot in Math and Chemistry, nothing I didn't know already of course, but it was a refreshing experience -and I actually listened to the back and forth banter at lunch which I instantly regretted.
"You cannot be a vegetarian and eat meat, Darwin. That's not how it works." Xenon explained. He'd shown up a bit late to class because of last nights gas, which meant it'd worked successfully. I wondered how Clean-Up was going to cover the guards tracks to his friends and family, something I hardly ever thought about till now. Did they make it look like he disappeared, or killed himself, or cloned him? The possibilities were many, but for sake of discretion I was never told what happens to the bodies after we terminate them.
"Yeah it is. A vegetarian is someone that eats vegetables. Not someone that doesn't eat meat."
"It's someone that doesn't eat meat." Louis confirmed bluntly.
Darwin sighed and stared at them both hopelessly.
"So, if Gina says she's a vegetarian. And she sucks... "
"Not the type of meat we were talking about! " Marcus cut in and everyone laughed, I was getting used to all this chatter. I liked it. The meaningless conversations that brought bits of laughter into our day were going to be missed once this mission was over.
"Blayze. You've been awfully quiet. Everything alright? " Xenon asked.
"Yeah, just trying not to picture Gina allover Darwin's meat," I said, earning myself a few chuckles, except of course from Trent, who just sat there brooding all day. I'd tried to explain to him that the whole purpose of being undercover was to pretend everything was alright so people don't ask too many questions and he'd said, "Oh so now you're an expert of being undercover; just leave me alone B92." He hadn't even bothered to use the cover name. He seemed more done with this mission than I was, and I couldn't blame him.
Once he was done with his food, he threw his containers in the bin and made his way out of the cafeteria.
"Damn, Blayze, you must've really pissed him off," Grayson said as we both watched him leave.
"Or he's just being a gigantic baby," Darwin added.
"Gigantic," Louis repeated, "Look who's using big boy words."
Darwin threw him the finger.
Nito stood up next and announced he'd be waiting for me as well as anyone else who wanted to smoke, in the man cave.
Xenon spit out a mouthful of carrot juice -yes, carrot juice, as he tried to stifle a laugh. "Wait, you want to smoke Nito's stuff?"
"Trust me, Blayze, that's not a wise decision," Marcus advised.
"How would you know? You've never tried it," Nito said.
"Yeah, you're always busy doing 'sports'," Darwin jeered, rolling his eyes.
"I've seen first hand what Nito's strain does to people and you don't want to be a victim believe me."
"Oh, Marc don't be such a wuss,"
"Yeah, football season's over, so perhaps you'd like to join?" I asked. He instantly shook his head. "Xenon?"
"Not happening," he answered rather too quickly.
"Louis?"
"I'm already high."
I cocked an eyebrow. "You don't look high."
"Yeah, he's mastered the art of being off his rockers and still going about like he's sober. He's actually always high," Xenon said.
"Yeah I'd be surprised if you've ever seen him sober," Grayson added.
"Louis eats space cakes for breakfast, no joke," Nito said.
That explained why he was always so quiet and unbothered, the guy wasn't even in our universe half the time.
"So you can just come with bro," Darwin urged. "Come on guys, do you really want to miss Blayze getting high for the first time?"
"It's not my first time."
Nito scoffed. "Yes it is love, trust me."
"Never thought I'd hear myself say this, but Darwin's got a point. I want to see Blayze high," Marcus said as he came to the realisation.
"Same," Xenon added.
"I hope she's not one of those people who talks too much when they're high," Grayson said, he's eyes warning me about what I'd just gotten myself into.
"Oh! We can place bets, fifty bucks says she'll knock out before the even joint finishes."
"Fifty says she's going to spill all her dirty little secrets," Nito smirked.
"Guys there's really no need to-"
"Fifty says she's going to laugh for the first fifteen minutes, finish all the food in the fridge then she'll knock out till tomorrow," Marcus added, completely ignoring me.
"I'm with Marcus on this one," Xenon replied.
"What about you Louis?" Darwin asked in a rather excited tone.
Louis gave a look that suggested he was bored of the world then stared into my eyes. "If you've got any childhood trauma, trust me you're going to get heavy paranoia the first time."
Grayson and I shared another look. I was beginning to think that smoking with everyone was probably a bad idea. Imagine I blurt out that I'm undercover or even better, that I killed a guard in one of their homes, or how about the part where I have to kill Grayson because he's the target I've been looking for this entire time.
"Imagine she shits herself," Darwin whispered and they all giggled like evil school girls.
"Don't listen to them it's really not that bad," Grayson said. "I'll smoke with you."
"You sure it's a good idea?"
"I'm pretty sure you'll regret not doing it," he drew closer and whispered in my ear. "Use this mission to your advantage, try something new. It's completely up to you though."
He did have a point about trying something new. Who's to say where I'd end up after this mission. From Valaks earlier statement it sounded as though I was getting shipped back to the Termination Wing. It sounded as though she'd given up on me. And who could blame her? I hadn't openly admitted it but every time something went wrong with this mission, it seemed to be my fault and I didn't feel the slightest apologetic. I would have given up on me too. This could be the last undercover mission I ever go on then it's back to piling up dead bodies for Clean Up to take care of, so why the hell not.
I tilt my head up so my mouth is directly on Grayson's ear and whisper "I hear the sex is amazing when you're high."
I feel him smile before he replies. " Well maybe later you could be the judge of that."
"Hey, can y'all get a room?" Darwin whined.
"There's no need for that,"I replied standing up. "Let's go smoke."
The whole table immediately stood up with excitement and we all followed each other to the man-cave. On the way there I tried to immerse myself into this very moment and clear my mind of everything that could possibly give me a bad trip. I mentally locked the doors of trauma and secrets and threw the key far at the back of my mind.
From this moment on, I wasn't a spy for the Agency, I wasn't the girl that'd murdered her father nor the one planning on killing her -whatever Grayson was to me. I wanted to be free of it; for once in my life I had the opportunity to be normal and I wasn't going to waste it. I let myself forget it all; every mission, every killing -even the one from last night, I let it all go. It wasn't a difficult tactic to master, especially since I'd been doing it my whole life.
"You alright?" Grayson asked as we made our way down the narrow pathway leading to the door.
"Yeah."
"Don't think about it too much." Easy for him to say. I nodded and he gave me a reassuring smile.
One by one we entered the man-cave and found Trent engulfed by clouds of smoke from his own joint. Seemed like everyone had the same idea today.
"What're you guys doing here?"he asked with a scowl turning the soft rock music down. You don't own the man-cave Trent, I felt like informing him, but kept it to myself.
"Same as you bro,"Nito replied, throwing himself on the couch and pulling a box from beneath it. I took a seat right next to him so I could see what all the fuss was about as he rolled. Grayson sat on my other side and Darwin went to join Trent on the other couch. Louis pulled a beanbag chair from the corner of the small room and plopped onto it right next to Louis, while Xenon and Marcus grabbed some beers from the fridge, offering some to the rest of us. When I shook my head Nito advised me to take it, saying it would balance me out during the trip.
"Alright then," I mumbled taking a swig and instantly regretting it. It tasted like bitter root medicine that foamed in the mouth, making it impossible to swallow, but I eventually got it down. While I struggled to get a quarter way through my beer I watched Nito open the small zip lock bag and take out a thick nug with golden flakes sprinkled allover it.
"Woah," Trent marveled, his red eyes widening at the sight of it. "What strain is that?"
"I call it Venom; picture Chernobyl meets Train-wreck with an Indica undertone." I had no idea what any of that meant. "My dealer had it imported from Afghanistan a couple of weeks back, and this is the last of it."
"Is it good?"
"Trent, stop asking stupid questions and give me that." Darwin snatched the remote from Trent's hand.
"Hey! I already have a playlist picked out."
"Your playlist sucks!"
While they fought over the remote I turned my attention back to Nito. His hands moved majestically around the tray, grinding the nug into fine flakes that smelt like an earthy lime and rolling them into what he called 'backwoods'. He carefully tucked it into the backwoods with his long fingers, making sure it's 'tight' as he said then licked the paper rather seductively before rolling it. Once he was done he held it up and let out a groan of satisfaction, eyeing it like it was his most beautiful creation.
"You wanna start it, love?" he asked and I nodded confidently.
As soon as I took the joint the room went silent, side smirks spreading across the boys faces. Wasting no time, I grabbed a lighter, placed the tip between my lips and sparked it. I took the first two puffs as expertly as I could, not allowing the boys the satisfaction of seeing me roar up a series of coughs even though I so badly wanted to.
After passing the joint to Grayson on my left, I let out bellows of smoke from my mouth and nose, instantly feeling the shift in energy caused by the weed. I had the sudden urge to lay back against the couch and as I did I felt myself sink into it, keeping my eyes open in fear of completely ceasing to exist if I closed them. Although he was right next to me when Grayson said "damn this stuff is really good," it sounded muffled and distant, in fact, my own heartbeat seemed louder than anything else at that moment.
This strain was nothing like the one I'd had before. It had a nasty twist to it, knocked me right off the bat. I stifled a groan as the weight of my own head became almost impossible to carry, my poor brain working tirelessly to keep me from falling over on the couch.
I slowly lifted my eyes to glance at Nito by my side casually gulping half his beer. Grayson on my other end also maintained a normal-ish state, though his watery red eyes were a dead give away. One by one the boys took turns smoking the joint until it returned to me once again, a little 'roach' as the boys called it.
"Come on, finish it," Nito encouraged.
Everything after that line was just brief flashes of my afternoon, alternating between consciousness and sleep. The music morphed into my thoughts, so much so that I could even hear it in my dreams -if I could even call them that. The only reason I felt safe even being this under the influence was because I wasn't alone. Everyone's eyes were barely slits, teeth bared as sounds of laughter echoed through the room. At some point my limbs went numb, like they'd disconnected from my body... the same way boosters fall of a rocket before it shoots off into the stars.
I couldn't help but wonder if everyone else was truly feeling this way or were they just pretending. Perhaps Grayson had told them the truth about me and they were all in on a plan to get rid of me. This is when my paranoia kicked in. Hard.
I shot up from my seat, trying my best to keep my top half from collapsing back onto the sofa and announced that I was going to the bathroom.
"You alright B?" Marcus' voice sounded like an echo.
"Yeah I'm peachy."
I collided with the bathroom door, twisting the knob and dragging myself in before shutting it. I drew in a few harsh breathes. It didn't make sense. We'd all smoked the same thing. They couldn't have drugged me that way. I was just being paranoid.
My mind wouldn't let me rest.
The beers. Maybe they'd slipped something in there. Yes. It made sense. I splashed some water on my face and ran my fingers through my hair. I had to get myself together, I had to get out of here.
"Blayze," I startled at the sound of my name. "Can I come in?"
"Trent?"
He opened the door slightly and peeked. "You decent?"
"Trent," I felt a strange sense of relief as I pulled him in and shut the door behind him. "We have to get out of here, they drugged me. They probably drugged you too."
"Who?"
"The boys. They know."
His faced scrunched up in confusion. "What are you talking about?"
"Grayson. He's onto me, he's got the rest of the boys in on it-"
Trent suddenly seemed concerned. "Did- Did he say something to you?"
"No but I know weed high and this isn't it. The only explanation is I've been drugged, you probably were too..."
"You are officially off your rockers."
"No! Listen!" I whispered fiercely. "We have to get out of here."
"B92 listen to yourself! Look at your eyes!" He rung me by the shoulders. "You're high and you're tripping. Okay? Everything you're thinking right now is just insecurities and fears being exaggerated and brought out by the THC. Nothing more."
He had a point. It all seemed quite far-fetched, but it felt real. I was undeniably convinced of every thought I had.
"It'll all be over in a few hours... hopefully."
My eyes went wide.
"I mean anything is possible, you could be slowly decomposing from the inside and we wouldn't know until it was too late." Trent never disappointed when it came to terribly timing his humor.
"What are you doing here anyways? Did you finally get tired of sulking like a whiny bitch?" He'd probably come to make amends; typical Trent behaviour. He was like a dog, or a baby. Angry one moment then completely forgetting about it the next.
"No, I actually really need to take a piss. Only reason I'm talking to you is because you were having a panic attack and needed someone to calm you down. As much as I'm tired of your crap, I'm not an emotionless cyborg."
"Mh..." Guess I was wrong. "Thanks."
He looked at me as though he expected more of an answer, but I could barely keep myself up straight, let alone handle a serious conversation right now.
"Whatever." He nudged his head, signalling for me to get out.