(Also posted on Twitter)
First step. Ditch the Captain Grumpy beard. It's not going to win you any friends.
Second step. Get out of the TARDIS and go somewhere.
Third step. Acquire a fez. Fezzes are cool.
Fourth step. Stop channeling Eleven so much.
Fifth step. Don't say 'Hi, I'm the Doctor.' Trust me. Just hello is fine.
Sixth step. No no no, just walk on by the bow ties section.
Seventh step. Reverse the polarity on something. Poeple will love and hate you for thinking of something so obvious.
Eighth step. Impersonating a police officer can get you in a lot of trouble. Don't do that. Also cricket bats, watch out for those.
Ninth step. Say fantastic like you mean it.
Tenth step. Try to meet someone named Alonzo. Then you can say Allons-y, Alonzo!
Eleventh step. Dating other time travellers can get confusing. Especially when you meet in the wrong order.
Twelfth step. Accept bottles of wine graciously. Especially when they're thrown by Napoleon.
Thirteenth step. Being old isn't bad. You can do all sorts of things. You could be a curator.