Chapter 8
Everything was working out. Everything I’ve ever wanted was right in front of me, ready to be torn to shreds and be made into ash.
Along the next couple of weeks, my run-ins with Jessabel and Nathan became scarce. My frustration swelled to ridiculous levels, but I had managed to keep myself in check.
Patience. All I needed was patience.
But I knew I wasn’t going to last long – I knew where the Ericson mansion was, and while I knew that Jess and her boyfriend weren’t living there anymore – “Things are getting a bit serious too fast, for my liking,” Gwen had complained – I could have easily gotten Daddy to drop me off at the front gates, where I could have asked around until I’d gotten my answer.
It was too soon for that.
Jessabel had to come to me. The only way I could do that was to appeal to Gwyneth.
Every night after dinner, Daddy made daily trips to our new house, which I refused to see until it was fully built and furnished. Gwen and I were left alone, and recently I’d begun helping her with the dishes. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, and I knew that my eagerness to help made me all the more likable.
Gwen trusted me now. I was her Jessabel surrogate.
“People at school have been saying terrible things about Jessabel,” I lied, looking angry and upset. Gwen halted her movements, but I kept talking. “It’s just not fair! They don’t even know her. She’s a good person.”
“She is,” Gwen agreed in a level tone.
“And I wish I could… I don’t know. Prove that she isn’t a psycho or a liar,” I sighed. In fact, nobody at school thought those about Jessabel at all. Everybody loved her. Everybody idolised her. A lonely little mother wouldn’t know anything about that, however.
“You’re absolutely right.” She didn’t sound so calm anymore. Her posture was stiff, and she looked every bit like a lioness protecting her cubs. Her hands kept scrubbing at the plates. “Teenagers are beyond cruel in today’s society. I went through high school being called all sorts of things. I thought I could shield Jess from people like them, but I guess that’s another thing I failed at doing.”
“Oh, don’t be silly,” I scoffed, bumping my arm against hers in comfort. “I’m sure you’re a terrific mother.”
She only shook her head. Her eyes were beginning to grow damp. ‘I’m glad you’re standing up for her.”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“Jess would appreciate it, too,” she smiled a bit.
“I hope so,” I smiled back, looking glad that she wasn’t as upset anymore. “I really do admire everything that she’s done.”
A solid minute passed without either of us talking, and once again it was a peaceful sort of quiet. She passed me the dishes without looking, and I wiped them down efficiently and placed them in the appropriate cupboards.
I held my tongue. Waiting.
“I think I’ll give her a call,” she declared, nodding to herself. “You two haven’t had time to bond at all. She would love you, you know.” Drying her hands, she reached for the cordless phone behind her.
I hid my smile behind the dishcloth.
***
Another thing brewing in my mind was Nathan. Pretty, tall, chocolate-smelling Nathan. I didn’t quite know what to do with my attraction yet – after all, that was never part of the plan. Developing a crush on my cousin’s boyfriend wasn’t something I had initially wanted.
So why couldn’t I get his arms out of my mind?
Earn Jess’s approval first. That was what I needed. After that… I could do anything I wanted. But in the meantime, maybe finding a guy to hook up with at school would keep my body occupied.
Just before 1st period, I cornered Trevor Dakota, the cute hockey player that I had bumped into on my first day. Attempting to sneak, I tapped him on the shoulder and giggled when he jumped.
"Hi," I smiled, turning up the charm, leaning against the side of his locker in a flirty manner. He seemed geniunely happy to see me, and closed the metal door to give me his full attention.
His smile oozed with charm and experience as well. "Hey, pretty."
"Have I ever thanked you for helping me out last week?" I asked, cocking my head to the side and grinning.
He shrugged, leaning against his locker door so that the space between us became intimate. "No, not that I can remember."
"Well, I want you to know that I'm grateful." Sincerity seemed to be the best way into his heart - he was that kind of guy. All wholesome and easygoing.
"And I want you to know that you're welcome." He wouldn't stop smiling and neither would I. It became kind of like a game.
Sensing that my time might soon be over, I leaned over and pecked him on the mouth. It was small and friendly, but I knew from experience that he would be thinking about it all day. Good.
"See you around?" I bit my lip, making myself blush a little. His gaze softened.
"Sure." Trevor squeezed my hand briefly, before giving me one more look, and making his way to his first period class. I looked around and noticed a group of freshmen girls, silently staring at me.
I flashed them a bright grin, before turning away to my friends.
“So – eligible bachelors,” I brought up during free period, sitting cross-legged under an oak tree with Becca and Yuri. “Tell me everything you know.”
"Why? Isn't Trevor enough?" Yuri hinted in a teasing tone.
I shoved her foot with my own. "I was just thanking him for being nice."
"It was a pretty nice thank-you."
"Why, you want the same treatment?"
"Don't you dare come near me."
Becca thought for a second, putting her compact mirror down. “Jack broke up with his girlfriend over the summer.”
“Ooooh,” Yuri sat up from her position, sprawled across the ground with her head in Becca’s lap. “He’s gorgeous.”
“I don’t know…” I pretended to think about it. But truthfully, Jack Kelam looked too much like Byron.
I didn’t need that. Not with the phone hidden under my pillowcase, filling to the brim with unanswered calls and messages.
“He’s got the greatest sense of humour alive,” Becca laughed.
“And his parents are-“ She was interrupted by a sharp rev of a motorbike. We jumped simultaneously and turned to the noise. It was hard to see from where we were lounging, but a dark male figure was cutting off the engine of a black motorcycle, before he ripped his helmet off and limped to the main gate.
My companions fell silent immediately.
I kept my eye on the figure and the motorcycle. There was something about him – the way he walked, the way he hunched his shoulders, and his whole entrance to school altogether – that turned me on a little, even if I couldn’t see his face very well.
Not that it mattered. His face wasn’t what I wanted.
“Who’s he?” I asked.
Both of them seemed reluctant to reply. I turned from the motorbike to Yuri, raising my eyebrow impatiently. “Well?”
“That’s Eli.” Her voice was low. Completely different to the sly way she had spoken before.
“Eli? How come I’ve never seen him before?” I had a pretty good idea of who was who by now. Some names were fuzzy, but this Eli was definitely one I’d remember.
They were really hesitant now. It didn’t matter to me either way – what I wanted was this Eli, and I always got what I wanted – but they were both pissing me off. I wanted to know everything. Why were they being all quiet now?
I let my nice-girl façade slip a little bit, and my lip twisted in anger. “Tell me who he is.” It was a demand.
“You’ve heard of the kidnapping, right?” Becca asked.
“Don’t be stupid,” I snapped. She looked startled by how different I sounded now. I swallowed down the lump of disgust I felt for her weakness, and tried to sound a little more like Renee.
Stupid. That’s what they were. Stupid and weak and pathetic and utterly submissive.
“He’s Noah Lincoln’s brother. I don’t understand why their family hasn’t run off yet – everybody hates them. They all deserve to die.” Yuri was braver than Becca, I’ll admit. Her jaw was set in anger against her memories. Having your brother kidnapped wasn’t something you got over quickly. “Did you know Noah trapped my brother and Jen in a wine cellar for weeks? He made them eat glass whenever he got bored. Rob still has the cuts all around his mouth.”
“Oh,” Becca gasped, clasping her hands to her mouth.
I leaned in greedily, taking in every word and every expression. This was new to me. This was exciting. “Noah helped with the kidnapping, didn’t he?”
I wanted to know what Noah Lincoln did. I wanted to know what he was capable of.
“He wouldn’t be in jail if he hadn’t. Stay as far away as you can from them, do you understand?” Yuri had pretty green eyes, but now they blazed with intensity – something that I didn’t know they could do. The mood was definitely ruined now. “He’ll do terrible things to you. If you want a guy, find anyone but him.”
Without another word, she got up and walked away, leaving Becca and I under the leafy shade of the tree. We sat in gobsmacked silence, before Becca couldn’t handle a second more of it. She stood up as well. “Poor Yuri,” she whispered.
“Go.” I didn’t want her to stay anymore than she wanted to stay.
That was all she needed. I waited until her figure turned right and disappeared from view. The bell for next period went off, but I stayed right where I was.
Eli Lincoln. Noah Lincoln. The kidnapping that made Jessabel famous. The boy who smelled like chocolate and cinnamon. All of this, all of them, was right under my nose.
I had found myself in the centre of my wildest dreams.
I felt that tiny awakening now. Right at the pit of my stomach. Those feelings, urges, and dark thoughts that I had spent my entire life suppressing were crashing over me, and a feral smile lit up my face before I knew it was there.
With everything fizzing and crackling in my veins, I got up from my position and walked out into the sunlight.
Tomorrow, I would cause chaos.
***
I couldn’t come home fast enough.
I bypassed a surprised Daddy in the kitchen, too impatient for chitchat, and headed straight to my bedroom. We could talk later. What I needed now was privacy.
I locked the door and double-checked it twice, before tearing one of my travel bags open. The contents poured out onto the floorboards. I found the book that I needed and reverently ran my fingers along it.
It was huge and thick with too many pages crammed into its spine, pages that I sometimes had to glue on myself. Its skin was of thick red leather. This was the book that controlled my entire life – a book that I had kept since the day, at the age of six, I’d killed our family pet. It was the same book I’d used to plan that very incident, and the same book I’d used to plan out Michaela’s ‘allergic reaction’.
I was very careful about keeping the book from Daddy. If he ever got a hold of it, I would have to kill him.
I flipped through it carefully and cautiously. It tried its best, but a couple of pages still came out, and I handled them with the utmost gentleness. There was a pamphlet from a couple of years back, a health pamphlet I had used to sabotage Tracy Millan’s social life by sending it to her Christian parents and telling them that she had Chlamydia. There were concert tickets to Coldplay that I had stolen from Hank and snuck into his girlfriend’s science book, causing them to fight violently and break up. I took them from her belongings before Hank could find them again.
His girlfriend received a reputation for being a dirty thief. She never recovered from that reputation.
And at last, I made it to my most recent entry – a cross-referenced guide to the lives of my new friends. Finding my information was ridiculously easy, with the help of Google, the school library, general information, and Sal Blight’s over-chattiness and willingness to answer anything.
I flipped around it for a while, eyes narrowed, planning and over-planning. I could start off somewhere small, just to test the waters. Then as my influence and popularity increased, I could get more creative.
But I didn’t want to start off somewhere small. I wanted to start off with a bang.
A name popped out from the book, standing out from the rest of the future victims. A shive ran down my spine, and I closed my eyes, savouring the thrill. Yes.
***
Author's Note: By the way, Eli is pronounced 'Eee-laai'.
Lily x.