Chapter 1:
The sun hasn't come out yet again.
Today begins the New Year, and I haven't seen a ray of sunshine since I was four-years-old. They tell us it will come back when everyone agrees to abide by the utmost important rule of the Inclusion, which is utter happiness in all the decisions they make.
The Inclusion, a name that spews so much cruel irony it has almost its effect, if it weren't because they remind us every week who they are. They are our leaders, our self-appointed protectors from the threats of the Eternal Night Dwellers that nobody have seen in half a century. They say it is thanks to them; but their modesty and requests reached their limit when I realized i had a mind of my own.
I don't even bother opening the curtains anymore, the darkness is just as dark outside as inside. The artificial daylights come on automatically when you wake up, so it takes me a moment to gather my vision again. You get so accustomed to the night, your eyesight detests light. But not me, I yearn for the feel of even a single ray against my arm, my leg, my face, my hair. I walk out of my room. My mother comes unto the hallway to hug me gleefully, the greatest show of forced comformity as will ever witnessed. I don't know why she bothers, we're so many, we will never agree on one thing. Since some kids have never even seen the sun, some don't remember what color it is, we can't even agree that we would the sun back. Maybe that's how the Inclusion keeps its literal claws clasped around our heads. Their appearances frighten us. So diverse, so inhuman, and so powerful, that's their only true inclusion, themselves.
''Hello, mother,'' no affectionate greeting for her. She ignores it now, doesn't question it like she doesn't question authority or even the simplest of issues.
''Hey, honey. I made your favorite, eggs sunny-side up,'' she laughs every time she says that, saddens me even further when she does.
''Thanks,'' I say. I sit by the table eyeing the beauty in front of me, and savor every bite I take. Is this what the sun feels like, pure warmth inside? Who knows what warmth is anymore? ''See you whenever, mother,'' I say to see if she reacts truthfully.
''Ok, honey, be careful out there!'', she knows I always kid about that. But I know that someday I'll never come back, probably never see her again. I walk outside the apartment into nothingness, waiting for my eyes to adjust. Just another ''morning'' here in Blackrose the Community.
Chapter 2:
If only they knew how strong she was.
How she made a vow years ago to pretend to assimilate to this order, to see if they will keep their promise, to see light again, actual light, beautiful light, a power that can never be replicated by any lamp, any bulb, any source of electrical power.
The Sun, how she regrets having taken it for granted in her childhood, complaining every time the rays were too intense, the heat too much to bear for long, the sweat running down her arms, the blinding force it acquired in summer. She is resolute on staying alive until she sees it again, proudly illuminating this filth of a city, because the Sun doesn't discriminate, it shines everywhere, even if for a short while. Her longing overtakes her once more.
Everything she does, she does for her child, hoping that one glorious day she will see them smile again. Another vow she took, she cannot die without seeing Vee engorged in Sunlight again. Her, Vee's mother, feels the tears welling up and spilling afresh down her face. Vee doesn't see it, thinks she is just another drone of this new society, and that is what breaks her heart the most. She retires to her room this early in the ''morning'' once more to perform her ritual of sobbing, to let go of suppresed anger, sadness, sense of defeat and despair, to purge her heart of weakness in her privacy, where now almost her entire life is lived out, in fear, in shame, in lust, in love with this unreachable dream called inner warmth that seems to have never existed.
There is a knock at the door, a sound so astrange to her she immediately forgets about crying and gets up with so much curiosity crushing her heart, she doesn't remember her predicament. She opens the door in one swift swing, the question burning in her, who has remembered my existence?
''Evening, love,'' says Count of Darkness, ruler of this Community. His presence means one thing to her, the changes are finally coming!
Chapter 3:
When I reach the end of the stairs, my best friend, Serene, is waiting for me, like every ''morning''. ''Evening, wonderful,'' I greet mockingly.
''Evening, B-bee''', she has a speech impediment. We met one day me going up the stairs to get home and this person of my own age going down the stairs decided to be polite'Hi, how are you?' 'Fine.' 'What is your name?' 'Vee.' 'Nice to meet you, B-bee!' 'No, Vee, as in v.' Yes, that is what I said.' 'No, you said it with a b.' 'No I didn't, I said b-b.' 'See, there you go again. Are you making fun of me?' 'No, you're making fun of me!' Serene and I almost feel the flight of stairs, but caught me before it was too late. Serene earned my respect for that, and I realized I had been such a bad person by pointing out her speech impediment, I almost cried from the many times I said sorry. Serene just smiled a little all the time. To this day I think I am still not forgiven.
''Another year, another sunless year,'' I say now. Serene shushes me. What if they heard ya?, those eyes say. ''You too, I might just find a new friend,'' I say while grinning.
''You and your rebellious manners will eradicate us one day,'' replies Serene. How can someone be so worrisome, it's inhuman... Inhuman, now there's a word that doesn't even apply to animals anymore. We begin walking, gracing shoulders unintentionally. We graduated high school last December, top in our class, but classes at the Institute for Future Cooperation start tomorrow seven o'clock sharp.
Our civilization's last drainer is indivuality, it serves the purpose of further mandatory education to accomodate us in the job that will help continue run this bleak city of a population of 200,000. I once saw someone run out of the place screaming because they failed their exams, they couldn't find a place for them, so when that happens, they give a complementary sterile scalpel to do as you please. I left before that important ceremony took place. I will never forget that face, so devoid of hope, my own heart lost that sense that makes you human. I think it is one of those moments that defines me.
''What are you studying again?'' I ask Serene.
''Electrical engineering,'' my friend answers.
''Really? That is so original!'' I reply with heavy sarcasm.
''I just hope you like what you're studying,'' counters Serene.
''Yeah, me too,'' I express with a set jaw.
We make our way to the Slot, grand hangout of this side of town. We enter, rattling the beaten door, find an empty table with extremely worn-out black leather, the stuffing is showing. Maddie, the world's most sardonic server, which makes her great for this environment, come to take our order.
''Hello, humans who do not live here, get it through your hideous heads already,'' she's in a good today, actually.
''Howdy, Maddie, our usuals, please,'' I ask politely.
''You're kidding, I don't believe you,'' she almost cracks a smile at her own sarcastic quip. I think her reason for being like she is partly due to her test scores, saying that she can contribute to this world by serving others that think less of her. I sometimes feel bad for her, like right now. I see her get slower every day, and she's only twenty-nine. How long can someone withstand such torture, especially the one inflicted on oneself? Our food arrives quickly.
My egg sandwich, sunny-side up, and Serene's fruit salad with tomatoes. ''Thank you, Maddie,'' I tell her.
''Any fucking time, Vee.''
We eat our meals in silence, until Serene says something that throws me off-guard. ''The Night Masters hab-be been patrolling the streets themselb-bs lately.''
''I smell trouble brewing because of that,'' I reply harshly.
''What do you think they want?,'' asks Serene.
''Ever more recognition amd acceptance of their ways, I'm sure,'' I answer.
''Do you think they're finally making their mob-be?''
''They always are, but patience is a virtue that surprisingly has stuck with them all this time. But all good things come to and end.'' Serene doesn't push the subject, just looks at the empty bowl.
''Let's go, Maddie has customers,'' we leave the tab and the tip on the table, reach the door, turn, and wait for Maddie to collect the money. Her tips are the only thing that only makes her at least half-smile. I don't consider her greedy, just desperate with an illusion that she will one day have the same social status as her classmates, but all of it disappears the next day.
Don't tell me you believe in a hope of a better future for us all, hope is an abstract idea that is slowly dissipating and when it vanishes, it will never come back. I wonder if that is what the Masters wish for, for the eradication of hope, then we will blindly follow them as one. Over my dead body.
We hurry down the road to get a glimpse of our new castle of solitude, and I'm sure we're both wondering, who will we meet, will see again, will the teachers be nice, forgiving, caring, will we truly find a place in this town that we feel enlightened from the inside out with glee because we found our own personal sun. At that thought I laugh to myself, first internally, then a low chuckle, and finally full-blown laughter. Serene doesn't even look my way, this person knows why I'm laughing.
Chapter 4:
We quickly go home after eating at the Slot, part our ways at the stairs, and when I pass through the door of my apartment, I notice a grandiose silence, more than the usual one. I knock on the door of my mother's room, call out to her, with zero response. I shrug it off and go to my room. When I enter it I notice a slip of paper on top of my bed, and go over to pick it up. It is a note from my mother:
Dear V,
I've gone away for a while for reasons that could drastically affect our future in this Community. But do not fret, I am with the Count of Darkness, he is helping and vice versa. You are to go to the Institute tomorrow, and continue going, it's for your own good. I love you, I'll see you soon, honey.
Take care,
Your mother
I read the note again, then rip it to pieces. I'm in shock, denial, angry. I clutch the pieces hard as I throw myself on the bed, listening to myself cry, something i haven't done since the last day I saw the sun. I think about what the note says; I don't fully understand its meaning, but I do notice my mother uses her usual pet names in the body of the letter, but parts with how I always call her. Mother. That, that is how I know she has finally accepted this life, this torture. Since I know it's too late to feel remorseful, I fall asleep with the intent of keeping up with my mother's wishes, for now.
...
I wake up feeling like shit. It only takes me a second to remember what has happened since last night and what's going to happen today.
We make our way to the Institute rather early, to my surprise. Serene is trying to hide the grogginess, but it just looks like a terrible is being hidden. ''Aren't you worried?''
''Not if she says it's alright'', I answer. Now Serene looks even more wound-up than me. But I know that once we step through those doors, there won't be time to worry about anything else.